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Anorak - Author Archive

Property – Picking Your Spot

BETWEEN 1991 and 2001, homes in Weybridge, Surrey, rose in value by, on average, 175% from £120,000 to £329,000.

The housing boom was in full flow and any property owners in … (read more)

Posted: 4th, December 2006 | In: Money | Comment


Kicking His Evil Axis

Quote: “Hitting Kim Jong Il Right in the Cognac” — Washington Post headline.

Figure of Speech: metonymy (meh-TON-ih-mee), the symbol swap. From the Greek, meaning “name change.”

America is starting to get … (read more)

Posted: 4th, December 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Love Me Baby One More Time

Kevin Federline wants Britney Spears back

ON the day the British press produce pictures of Britney stepping out with oil heir Brandon Davies, the Enquirer hears Kevin Federline beg: “TAKE ME … (read more)

Posted: 1st, December 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment


Murder Burkas

Ronald McDonald’s halal burkas

THE Express has a picture of a drug dealer being beheaded in Saudi Arabia. And another shot of a women stuck in a pit and making ready … (read more)

Posted: 1st, December 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)


Poker’s Full (Public) House

A Full (Public) House

THE new Gambling Act, which comes into force next year, will allow pubs to host poker games. Before this, landlords have had to ask a local magistrate … (read more)

Posted: 30th, November 2006 | In: Money | Comment


Madonna’s Band Aid

Madonna thanks Bob Geldof

GOT the rubber bracelet. Got the T–shirt. But when you went to Live 8 last year did you get the small, complementary African?

Madonna did. And, as the … (read more)

Posted: 30th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


All About Heather

Heather Mills should be locked up

COME with us to the 52nd Evening Standard Theatre Awards.

It’s that time of year when the Mail’s sister publication bestows gongs on the great and … (read more)

Posted: 28th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Marriage Is A Risky Business

Tom Cruise is walking on air, Britney’s into Paris, Heather Mills is good and Charles & Camilla’s theme park…

STANDING before a scene reminiscent of the Creation, the backdrop lit as … (read more)

Posted: 25th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comments (2)


Awags The Lads

Wags, Awags and bikinis

HEADY times for insomniacs as cricket’s Ashes series begins in earnest.

As England’s Stephen Harmison tripped like an insecure giraffe to the crease and propelled the first ball … (read more)

Posted: 24th, November 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Bonded Labour

James Bond; Lottery

004

Staying with James Bond, we learn that William Hills have opened a book on how many films Daniel Craig will play the secret agent in.

Four films is the … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, November 2006 | In: Money | Comment


Tom Cruise’s Guests Of Honour

Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes – we were there

LAST week OK! invited us to the wedding of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.

It was unspecified whether or not we should rip … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, November 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


OJ’s Simpson’s Kill Fee”

OJ Simpson’s crafty Fox

RUPERT Murdoch is a very forgiving boss.

He’ll shrug off scandal. He’ll laugh off journalistic crimes. He’ll ignore breaches in social etiquette. He considers “ethics” to be a … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


President Nazarbayez Meets Borat

Kazakhstan’s funniest moments 

LET’S talk about comedy with Sacha Baron Cohen, a Jewish comedian in the mould of Lenny Bruce, The Marx Brothers and the great Jerry Sadowitz.

There are few things more … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


OJ Simpson – Truth Or Dare

What if OJ Simpson…

IS the OJ Simpson If I Did It book a scam cooked up by Judith Regan and her lover from her days in the tabloid business?

Back in … (read more)

Posted: 20th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)


Super Manny

John Reid’s naughty step

NO one says “Respect” any more, at least not anyone outside the walls of Westminster.

But in Government, Respect is due. Respect has a co-coordinator. Respect is longer … (read more)

Posted: 20th, November 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Rumsfeld Homoioteleuton

Quote: “He would clap his hands, lick his lips, narrow his eyes into a squinty gaze and extemporize, patronize, chastise, sermonize and crack wise all at the same time.” Linton … (read more)

Posted: 19th, November 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes Get Real

Tom Cruise – The Wedding

The moment we’ve been waiting for (not really) has arrived and Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are officially husband and wife. Katie wore an off the … (read more)

Posted: 19th, November 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment


American Beauty

Britney Spears & K-Ferret fight dirty; striking it rich in Blighty; Michael Jackson’s inner waxwork; Mike Tyson for rent; and Tom Cruise’s close encounters of the third kind…

PSSST! Wanna buy … (read more)

Posted: 19th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)


James Bond Strips

Shaken Not Stirred

“There is no higher stakes in poker than the shirt of a man’s back,” says Englishman Jon Young, the World Strip Poker Champion.

He wants to take on Bond … (read more)

Posted: 17th, November 2006 | In: Money | Comment


Tom & Katie’s Close Encounters

LIKE Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and Richard Dreyfuss in Close Encounters of the Third Kind, we are not alone.

Anorak is in Rome for the wedding of the year. With 500 … (read more)

Posted: 17th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)


Prince William Marries

THE one thing that remains unbroken from Princess Diana’s wedding to Prince Charles is our £1.20 mug bearing the smiling images of the newlyweds.

What hopes and dreams we had back … (read more)

Posted: 17th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


About The Houses

YOU have to hand it to Rupert and Mandy. Getting into the property market when the boom was just about to start was a masterstroke.

Rupert and Mandy are so successful … (read more)

Posted: 16th, November 2006 | In: Money | Comment


I’m With David Gest

I’m A Celebrity…

IT is as clear as Toby Anstis’s girlish complexion that Liza Minnelli got the better end of the deal in her marriage to David Gest.

Rather then being a … (read more)

Posted: 15th, November 2006 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Pamela Anderson’s Busted Flush

Pammy’s Busted Flush

Pamela Anderson is no longer as big in poker as she is in bikinis. Pamelapoker.com, Pammy’s eponymous online poker room, has closed.

The operation has been taken over by … (read more)

Posted: 15th, November 2006 | In: Money | Comment (1)


OJ Simpson To Star

WHEN the tabloids reported a couple of weeks ago that OJ Simpson was getting $3.5 million to put his name to a book called If I Did it, Here’s How … (read more)

Posted: 15th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment