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Sarah Ferguson – From Toe Job To Desk Job

SARAH Ferguson is “exhausted by her travels”. She is looking forward to a “new, less stressful existence”.

As Hello! notes, for the past 15 years, plumy mummy Sarah has been “earning … (read more)

Posted: 14th, February 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment


Brit Rules – Justin Timberlake Snubbed

“BRITS snub for Justin.”

So says the Star, which heralds the British music industry’s AGM with a tale of how Justin Timberlake has NOT been asked to perform.

And can you guess … (read more)

Posted: 14th, February 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Robotic Woman – EastEnders’ Bionic Michelle Ryan

FANS of EastEnders will be familiar with the work of Michelle Ryan.

It was Michelle’s mission to breathe life into the character of Zoe Slater, one of the show’s assortment of … (read more)

Posted: 14th, February 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Robbie Williams Takes This & That

WHAT’LL it be, Robbie Williams?
The Sun knows. Most of us just get a card or a spray of garage forecourt carnations on Valentine’s Day, but Robbie Williams is not most … (read more)

Posted: 14th, February 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


We have a new site !

Anorak has been busy building you a brand new website – enjoy! … (read more)

Posted: 13th, February 2007 | In: Broadsheets | Comment


Rocking Out – Big Brother’s Jo Is Starving Herself

“FRIENDS are terrified that Big Brother bully Jo O’Meara is starving herself to death.”

No small shock it is to discover that Jo O’Meara has a friend in the world, let … (read more)

Posted: 13th, February 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


When Breasts Attack! – What Killed Anna Nicole Smith?

IS Woody Allen setting the news agenda?
The Mirror’s front page promises an unusual experience: “Did boob jobs kill Anna Nicole?”

Anna Nicole is Anna Nicole Smith, and having perished in uncertain … (read more)

Posted: 13th, February 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)


Burnt Out Sienna Miller

THOSE of you keen to know what Sienna Miller was up to at 5pm on the night of the Bafta awards can consult the Sun’s front page.

Labelled “5pm”, readers and … (read more)

Posted: 13th, February 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Mama Amy Winehouse Is Fed Up

AMY Winehouse is in conversation.

The singer, who pushed back the envelope of popular music when she threw up on stage, is lying down in the Sun.

In the run up to … (read more)

Posted: 13th, February 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


I Should Coco – Courtney Cox Remembers

“I WAS really thin and I thought I looked great,” says Courtney Cox.

“I did not have anorexia but they kept writing about it,” she goes on.

“They” are the magazines and … (read more)

Posted: 13th, February 2007 | In: Reviews | Comment


Is Tony Blair Bovvered

“WE’RE in negotiations about the script. But Mr Blair and Downing Street have definitely signed up for it as it’s such a great cause.”

So says the Sun’s “TV insider”. And … (read more)

Posted: 13th, February 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Just Mike – Jennifer Aniston’s New Lover

“JENNIFER: new nose and new man.”

But what came first?

Did Jennifer Aniston, for it is she, get the new nose then get the new man, or was it the other way … (read more)

Posted: 13th, February 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Blackening Shilpa’s Name

“YOU’RE RACIST SHILPA.”

Oh, irony of ironies. Can it be that the victim has become the abuser?

The Star’s front page has much to shout about. This is Big Brother’s Shilpa. This … (read more)

Posted: 12th, February 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Gordon Brown’s Integrated World Cup

GULPING Gordon Brown, the man who makes breathing look like a deliberate of will, has a plan.
Under Gordon’s management, Britain will be mighty once more. No more will we just … (read more)

Posted: 12th, February 2007 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


EastEnders’ Shane Richie’s Suicide Note

IT’S Shane Richie’s cry for help.

The fear is that after years of acting in EastEnders, so much exposure to depressing plots and desperate acting, Richie has snapped.

The note at his … (read more)

Posted: 12th, February 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)


Pinning Around – Kylie Minogue & Penelope Cruz’s Doll

“I’M thrilled to be nominated,” says Penelope Cruz of her chances of Bafta success. “Although I’m tempted, I’m not sticking pins in Dame Helen’s picture yet…”

By now Cruz might be … (read more)

Posted: 12th, February 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Helen Mirren’s Nutbag

WHAT odds Her Majesty the Queen abdicating in favour of Dame Helen Mirren? And what odds that any of the serfs would notice or mind?
Indeed, the twin pluses of watching … (read more)

Posted: 12th, February 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Towers Of Babble – Big Brother Donny’s Tribute Act

BIG Brother’s Big haired Donny Tourette’s latest album is “quite tuneful”.

As reviews go this is right up with the thrusting teenage boy being labelled “sweet” by the girls and the … (read more)

Posted: 11th, February 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Ralph Fiennes Mile High

FINE British actor Ralph Fiennes has been on long-haul flight from Australia to India.

And during the Qantas flight something occurred. According to stewardess Lisa Robertson it went like this:

“While conversing … (read more)

Posted: 11th, February 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


EVERY day of every week

EVERY day of every week the Mail thinks up imaginative ways to remind you that life is cruel and you are going to experience pain and die.

And if it can’t … (read more)

Posted: 10th, February 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Smiley Kylie – Minogue’s Hotpants, Russell Brand’s Big Brother Sex & Prince Harry’s Fight

WHY do we like Kylie Minogue? Is it because after years of grooming and shaping she still manages to look and sound like a pre-pubescent girl wearing her mum’s make-up … (read more)

Posted: 9th, February 2007 | In: Broadsheets | Comment


Rich & Thin – Victoria Beckham Makes A Meal Of Spice Girl Reunion

FEBERILE times as Victoria Beckham heads to another restaurant.

In “POSH NOSH”, the Mirror is on hand to see Her Poshness go to the Nobu Berkeley eatery in London’s Mayfair. For … (read more)

Posted: 9th, February 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


The Lord & His Shepherd

WHAT is it about learning that Jeffrey Archer lives in a vicarage that causes readers to throw back their heads and snort “Ha!”?

Is finding God the last refuge of the … (read more)

Posted: 9th, February 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Strip Or No Strip – Deal Or No Deal’s Kelly Kay & Mum

“I GOT into topless modelling when I as 19,” says Kelly Kershaw, familiar to men of a certain disposition, Sun readers and her mum Jane as Kelly Kay.

Kelly first came … (read more)

Posted: 9th, February 2007 | In: Tabloids | Comments (3)


Hillary Clinton’s Evil and Bad Men

QUOTE: “What, in my background, equips me to deal with evil and bad men?” Hillary Clinton, repeating a reporter’s question.

Figure of Speech: innuendo, the winking figure. From the Latin, meaning … (read more)

Posted: 9th, February 2007 | In: Uncategorized | Comment