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I’m With David Gest

I’m A Celebrity…

IT is as clear as Toby Anstis’s girlish complexion that Liza Minnelli got the better end of the deal in her marriage to David Gest.

Rather then being a … (read more)

Posted: 15th, November 2006 | In: TV & Radio | Comment

The Desert Orchid Hunters

IN between stories of how super casinos will do for us all and gambling addiction is waiting to decimate the country like a plague of winged Rogarians, comes some sad … (read more)

Posted: 14th, November 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

Model Wags

WITH Wag Danielle Lloyd sacked from her post as Miss GB for alleged vote rigging, a replacement is needed.

Time is pressing. Britain needs a champion of planet-saving beauty. But rather … (read more)

Posted: 13th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Casualties Of War

MONDAY and there was talk of war.

“What did you do in the war?” asks the young lad.

“Well, son,” says the grandfather as he dandles the nipper on his aged knee. … (read more)

Posted: 13th, November 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comments (6)

Julia Roberts’ Slings & Arrows

JULIA Roberts suffered recently from one of the tabloids’ most poisonous darts of shame, the dreaded yellow arrow.

She got all dressed up and went out to a big Hollywood shinding … (read more)

Posted: 13th, November 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

I’m A Celebrity…

FOR fear of his facial plugs coming unstuck and pebble-dashing the jungle canopy, David Gest declined the offer to bungee jump into the I’m A Celebrity… encampment.

Until now, we’d snuggled … (read more)

Posted: 13th, November 2006 | In: TV & Radio | Comment

Eamonn Go Holmes

Pity poor Éamonn Holmes.

The Irishman is a fixture on British television, a colorful presenter and personality who’s moved from the news desk to quiz shows, and been splashed across the … (read more)

Posted: 10th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Michael Jackson’s Return

GRAB your crotch and squeal like a girl, it’s Michael Jackson.

The Sun says that “pop weirdo” Jacko has agreed to appear at something called The World Music Awards.

Like you, we … (read more)

Posted: 8th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Madonna Confesses

THERE are only a few things we do not know about Madonna.

And if she would be so good as to tell us a) the number of hairs on her head, … (read more)

Posted: 7th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

The Fab Fours

THE Brian Epstein of tribute groups is back in a big way, as Jerry Peluso’s Beatles experience, Fab Forever, premieres tomorrow night on the Las Vegas Strip with what will … (read more)

Posted: 6th, November 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

Tony Blair Remembers

MONDAY and Tony Blair was writing in the Sun. He was issuing an ultimatum: “Pay up or the planet gets it.”

The madman would destroy us all! Tony’s weather machine can … (read more)

Posted: 4th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Miss Out

“MISS CHEAT BRITAIN,” announces the Mirror’s front page. “Miss GB sacked for fibbing about fling with judge Teddy.”

Teddy is Teddy Sheringham, forty-year-old Premiership footballer. Fitness fanatic Teddy is lover to … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Rooney’s Dream Team

Everytime’s A Winner

Psssst! Wanna win the lottery? It’s easier than you think.

A group of university types have come up with a winning formula. The syndicate from Bradford University ensure that … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, November 2006 | In: Money | Comment

Park & Ride

“FEDRWCH chji ddeud writhai faint mae’r maes parcio yn gostio, os gwelch yn dda?”

That question to you, the car park attendant at the Royal Victoria Hotel in Llanberis, Snowdonia.

The answer … (read more)

Posted: 31st, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Life & Art

ELISABETH Hasselbeck, who started out as a Survivor: Australian Outback cutie and wound up as the dim conservative prig and now Rosie O’Donnell’s whipping girl on The View, got herself … (read more)

Posted: 31st, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Cheryl Cole’s Goal

IMPRESSED by her husband Ashley Cole’s literary efforts (as of Saturday Ashley Cole: My Defence: Winning, Losing, Scandals and the Drama of Germany 2006 was 3,968th in Amazon’s ranking of … (read more)

Posted: 30th, October 2006 | In: Back pages | Comments (7)

Get Em Hoff!

WHEN Richard Hammond attempted to drive from Elvington airfield, near York, to Australia the hard way, the papers looked on with furrowed brows.

Would Richard make it? Would Top Gear, the … (read more)

Posted: 27th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

One From The Top

“HOW do you feel?” asks the doctor peering over the bed of his recovering patient.

“I don’t normally do requests, unless I’m asked to,” comes the reply. “Have you seen the … (read more)

Posted: 26th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Tom Tum

TOM Cruise may soon be as wide as he is tall.

The Enquirer (“Tom gets FATTER as Katie get FITTER”) says that “TomKat” has mutated into “Tom FAT”.

Where he was once … (read more)

Posted: 21st, October 2006 | In: Reviews | Comments (2)

Beckham’s Webisode

“LIKE me new watch?” asks the Wag, in Switzerland for the 2008 European Championships. “It’s got a gold-plated cuckoo what pops out and tells the time and everything.”

The other girls … (read more)

Posted: 20th, October 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

McCartney Will Not Shrink

THE curly hair. The white skin. The aura of untamed sexual energy.

Can it be that the man seen in the Mail riding a bicycle along the Hove seafront with little … (read more)

Posted: 20th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Fruity Bets

King’s Ransom

Alex King bet his pal Lord Edward Davenport £100,000 that he could gatecrash the premier of The History Boys movie and shake hands with Prince Charles and the very … (read more)

Posted: 18th, October 2006 | In: Money | Comment

Haves & Have Nots

“ALL men will have big willies,” announces the Sun.

No, it’s not an election pledge from John Prescott. It’s the findings of Dr Oliver Curry of the Darwin@LSE Research Centre.

Dr Curry … (read more)

Posted: 17th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

We Can be Great

“TALLY-Ban Harry!” went the cry over Windsor. Into the valley. Once more into the breach!

But on Monday we learnt that Prince Harry Baseball Cap might not get to do any … (read more)

Posted: 13th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)

Michael Jackson’s Sex Change

“YOU’LL NEVER GUESS SHOE THIS IS,” challenges the Sun’s front page.

And we wonder if the feminine figure in black trousers, high-heel shoes and floppy dark blue hat is Paul Robinson, … (read more)

Posted: 12th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

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