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Anorak | Anorak - Part 23

Anorak - Author Archive

Billy Joel: Trump and the rise of magical Nazis

Finally someone has had the guts to stand up and say it: “Nazis aren’t good people.” Well done, Billy Joel:

 

Billy Joel: I wore Star of David onstage to tell Trump … (read more)

Posted: 25th, July 2018 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, News, Politicians | Comment


The high price of puking in an Uber

 

That stench inside the Uber mini-cab might be fart spray. And the vomit some passengers claim they are being charged lots of money to clean up might be a scam. The … (read more)

Posted: 24th, July 2018 | In: Money, News | Comment


Liverpool goalkeeper Karius is the eternal victim

You can’t even laugh at a footballer’s failure these days. No sooner had Liverpool’s 25-year-old German goalkeeper Loris Karius made a delicious hash of his side’s Champions League final match … (read more)

Posted: 24th, July 2018 | In: Key Posts, Liverpool, Sports | Comment


This is how you sell a house – just ask the T-Rex

This is definitely the way to sell a house. Just ask the T-Rex, if you don’t believe me…

The blurb on the home in Granbury, TX:

Charming 2 bed 1 bath lake … (read more)

Posted: 24th, July 2018 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


Transfer Balls: ‘hijacked’ by Arsenal Malcolm ‘agrees’ to join Spurs after Manchester United ‘deal’

Roma have moved to sign Malcolm from Bordeaux. The Brazilian winger will cost the Italians around £36 million. And baring a late and successful bid from Barcelona, the deal will … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, July 2018 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, manchester united, Sports, Spurs | Comment


British police hunt fried egg bandit

To the Isles of Scilly, where police are pointing at a fried egg found close to a crime scene. A shed owned by a local football club had been forced open. … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, July 2018 | In: Strange But True | Comment


The secret of longevity: fat, sugar and booze

 

Eileen Maher is “30 years older than the NHS” says the Indy. We like a new measurement – length measured in football pitches and double-decker buses, height in St Paul’s … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, July 2018 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Bayern Munich president says Ozil is ‘shit’ at Arsenal

Bayern Munich president Uli Hoeness has been swift to appraise Mesut Ozil’s contribution to German international football.  Ozil, 29, has retired from the German side, citing the fierce reaction to that photo … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, July 2018 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comment


‘Racists’ force Arsenal star Ozil to quit Germany team

In news to hearten online trolls and bigots, Arsenal footballer Mesut Ozil intends to stop playing for Germany. Ozil, part of the German side that won the 2014 World Cup winner, … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, July 2018 | In: Arsenal, Key Posts, Sports | Comment


Chicken ‘gangs’ terrorise Jersey

Gangs of chickens are terrorising Jersey. The Jersey Evening Post says feral chickens are “marauding” over the island leaving locals “too scared to leave” their homes after dark. Eat them … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, July 2018 | In: Strange But True | Comment


‘Traditional’ new Spurs kit ‘is the Barcelona training kit’

Spurs are looking a lot like Barcelona. No, not in their style of play – and Barcelona actually win things. The two clubs’ kits ate remarkably similar. Nike’s marketing guff … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, July 2018 | In: Sports, Spurs | Comment


Life imitates Scarfolk: Civil Service tells parents to shoot rabid children

“Wow! This has made my week,” says Richard Littler. “This is from the government’s *own* publication about the history of government communications. They mistakenly included a Scarfolk poster which encourages … (read more)

Posted: 21st, July 2018 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians, Strange But True | Comment


China and the EU check your toilet for signs of illegal drug use

To China, where a wonk is hiding in your toilet bowl checking your poo and wee for signs of banned substances. Well, soon. for now the burgers have gotten only … (read more)

Posted: 20th, July 2018 | In: News, Technology | Comment


Kindly Mandalay Bay massacre hotel sues the victims

If there’s blame, there’s a claim. And because you can blame pretty much anyone for anything if you think about it enough, The Mandalay Bay Hotel, Las Vegas, from where … (read more)

Posted: 20th, July 2018 | In: News | Comment


No anti-racist should vote for Corbyn’s Jew hating Labour

Funny, no, how so many self-styled anti-racist campaigners on the Corbyn Left have no problem with Jew baiting and Jew hatred. Might it be – and this is just a … (read more)

Posted: 20th, July 2018 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians | Comment


Sir Cliff Richard: victim of the paedo inquisition

 

In the post-Savile era, the BBC is so desperate to look decent and worthy that it broadcast live a police raid on an innocent man’s home. The celebrity in the … (read more)

Posted: 19th, July 2018 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, News | Comment


Liverpool sign Alisson

Liverpool will sign Alisson, the Roma and Brazil goalkeeper, for an eye-watering and absurd £66.8m. Alisson, 25, has only been at Roma for two years, joining from Brazilian side Internacional … (read more)

Posted: 18th, July 2018 | In: Liverpool, Sports | Comment


Police log: man arrested for driving with monkey on his back

You can’t drink and drink, toke a spliff and drive, hold an apple and drive, eat a Pot Noodle and drive and more but you can be in possession of … (read more)

Posted: 18th, July 2018 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Transfer balls: Chelsea want Arsenal’s Cech and Liverpool target Alisson

Goalkeepers are the subject of today’s transfer news round-up. It turns out that Liverpool will not be sticking with Loris Karius, who, as the BBC puts it, was “found” to … (read more)

Posted: 18th, July 2018 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Sports | Comment


Manchester United disappointment Paul Pogba offered to Barcelona

Like most of you, we think Paul Pogba’s been a disappointment since rejoining Manchester United for a massive transfer fee. But in the eyes of the marketing business that runs … (read more)

Posted: 15th, July 2018 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment


Nigel Farage duped by anti-refugee photshop

 

Nigel Farage, former leader of UKIP and now LBC radio opinion jock, says the photo above is an “insult” to “victims of sexual abuse and rape in Malmo”. He adds … (read more)

Posted: 15th, July 2018 | In: News, Politicians | Comment


Transfer balls: Spurs ‘flop’ Modric to Manchester United, Arsenal and Liverpool

A headline is an opinion, which is why the Daily Express can call Croatia’s brilliant midfielder Luka Modric a “Spurs flop”. The full headline used to seduce readers to click … (read more)

Posted: 13th, July 2018 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Chelsea, Liverpool, Sports, Spurs, Tabloids | Comment


Transfer Balls: Ronaldo to Facebook, Higuain to Chelsea, Dybala to Liverpool

All that guff about Cristiano Ronaldo returning ‘home’ to Manchester United is over – well, it is until his four-year contract with Juventus ends, at which point the British Press … (read more)

Posted: 11th, July 2018 | In: Chelsea, Liverpool, manchester united, Sports | Comment


Brexit plan revealed: let’s invade the EU

 

Situations Vacant: Brexit Secretary – the one person in the country who can’t just shout just “get the **** on with it” at the telly. David Davis, who was leading … (read more)

Posted: 9th, July 2018 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians | Comment


Arsenal buy fighting French midfielder

Transfer balls: every so often a player the media experts know nothing of makes a move. And so it is with Arsenal’s hiring of Lorient’s 19-year-old France Under-20 footballer Matteo Guendouzi. … (read more)

Posted: 9th, July 2018 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment