Anorak | Anorak - Part 27

Anorak - Author Archive

Liverpool: Arsenal didn’t miss Virgil van Dijk, they just lack Southampton’s coaching skills

News that Arsenal rejected Virgil van Dijk, 27, before Southampton bought him comes as no great shock. The final years of Arsene Wenger’s leadership at Arsenal are punctuated with a … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, September 2018 | In: Arsenal, Key Posts, Liverpool, Sports | Comment

Aston Villa adopt John McGinn’s weird FIFA avatar as his official twitter photo


The official twitter account for Aston Villa FC noticed that their team’s John McGinn looks not a lot like his Fifa 19 avatar. That’s McGinn on the right in the above … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, September 2018 | In: Sports | Comment

Gertcha! The trite and lazy journalism of ‘battling cancer’ with Chas and Dave

Farewell Chas Hodges, aka Charles Nicholas Hodges (28 December 1943 – 22 September 2018), the piano-playing half of the brilliant Chas and Dave. Even Arsenal fans enjoyed his hymn to … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, September 2018 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, News, Tabloids | Comment

Brexit: Islington man demands Brexit as May is insulted

The Salzburg dinner was a “humiliation” for Theres May. But it wasn’t, was it? Not really. It was just another non-event in a series of non-events. Until the country leaves … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, September 2018 | In: Politicians | Comment

Manchester United balls: Ronaldo banned, unbanned and never banned for Champions League match

When Ronaldo was sent off on his debut for Juventus in the Champions League, not only did he weep like a child being told off by his mum in front … (read more)

Posted: 21st, September 2018 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment

Brexit: tabloids react to EU bombing May’s Brexit plan


‘Chequers’, the half-backed ‘Remain by another name’ plan for the UK’s departure from the EU, is dead. The result, says the Mirror, is a Government “in crisis”. The message is … (read more)

Posted: 21st, September 2018 | In: News, Politicians, Tabloids | Comment

Spurs balls: Pochettinho sack and Lloris’ imagines an injury


It’s remarkable how little pressure Spurs manager Mauricio Pochettino is under. He wants to win trophies, of course, having won nothing at Spurs since his arrival from Southampton in May … (read more)

Posted: 21st, September 2018 | In: Back pages, Sports, Spurs | Comment

Gooners delight: Jeremy Corbyn vows to boycott Arsenal matches

More on Jeremy Corbyn’s obsession with the world’s one Jewish state. The story goes that the Labour leader mired in accusations of antisemitism was so upset by Arsenal FC’s 2006 deal … (read more)

Posted: 20th, September 2018 | In: Arsenal, Politicians, Sports | Comment

Will honest Corbyn be brought down by Jews and MI5?

Jeremy Corbyn and his supported are far from convinced the Skrpials were poisoned by the Russians. The Labour leader thought it a good idea for Russia to be sent samples of … (read more)

Posted: 20th, September 2018 | In: News, Politicians | Comment

Coca Cola cannabis and the volatile world of marijuana investing

Invest in cannabis? BNN Bloomberg says Coca Cola is looking at working with Canadian marijuana producer Aurora Cannabis to create drinks laced with marijuana. “Along with many others in the … (read more)

Posted: 20th, September 2018 | In: Money, News, The Consumer | Comment

Miniature horse-eating gator banned from flights and shot dead


Americans love miniature horses. Southwest Airlines allows them onboard commercial flights as emotional support animals. Pigs, ferrets, spiders, peacocks and hedgehogs are on the no-fly list. But L’il Sebastian made the … (read more)

Posted: 20th, September 2018 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment

Russian Model says Putin poisoned her Prezzo meal deal


While the Mirror’s leads with a tale of a President’s boring sex with a porn star who failed to deliver on the laminated, pneumatic fantasy, the Sun’s lead story tells of another … (read more)

Posted: 19th, September 2018 | In: News, Tabloids | Comment

Arsenal balls: Ozil’s not a patch on Federico Fernandez and Matteo Guendouzi

Mesut Özil’s agent, Erkut Sögüt, says Germany’s Manuel Neuer, Thomas Müller and Toni Kroos are wrong in their to-deadline assessments of the Arsenal midfielder’s decision to quit international football. Kroos told … (read more)

Posted: 19th, September 2018 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports, Tabloids | Comment

Stormy Daniels teaches Donald Trump that porn star sex is rubbish

What’s it like to have sex with Donald Trump? Until Melania goes full Princess Diana and reveals all, we can roll over and ask Stormy Daniels (aka Stephanie Clifford) about … (read more)

Posted: 19th, September 2018 | In: Books, Celebrities, Politicians, Tabloids | Comment

Ivan Gazidis: the towering force who took Arsenal from 1st to 6th

Say it ain’t so. Arsenal’s chief executive has been transferred to work for a US hedge fund which took ownership of AC Milan after the outfit it loaned money to … (read more)

Posted: 18th, September 2018 | In: Arsenal, Key Posts, Sports | Comment

Madeleine McCann: Amaral wants his money and a final appeal

In “MADDIE HUNT CRISIS” Sun readers get the latest instalment in the tabloid saga that is the search for Madeleine McCann. After months of nothing, recent days have brought news … (read more)

Posted: 18th, September 2018 | In: Madeleine McCann, News | Comment

Arsenal dodge a bullet as Wilshere has surgery at West Ham

Jack Wilshere has been poor at West Ham. Yesterday he had ankle surgery which could keep him out of action for six weeks. The story goes that the West Ham United owners … (read more)

Posted: 18th, September 2018 | In: Sports | Comment

Middle-class drinkers should ignore advice on safe alcohol limits

Shocking to learn that the middle-classes take more drink and drugs than the poor. The Mail calls the report by the Social Metric Commission a “landmark” finding. Having discovered that … (read more)

Posted: 17th, September 2018 | In: Key Posts, News, Tabloids, The Consumer | Comment

if you want to see panda bears in Scotland take off your hi-vis jacket

Doggers, voyeurs, badger enthusiasts and other people who like to watch live, al fresco sex acts, listen up: remove the high visibility jackets. Edinburgh Zoo has banned staff from wearing … (read more)

Posted: 17th, September 2018 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Madeleine McCann: a bride of Christ, an old story and grief recast as a mental health issue

No word on Madeleine McCann in any of today’s printed tabloids. But there is is news on the web. Following the non-news that the Met might or might not seek … (read more)

Posted: 17th, September 2018 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, News | Comment

Police investigators need to be whiter than white in deciding if ‘whiter than white is racist’

Is “whiter than white” racist? Moreover, does saying “whiter than white” make you a racist? A senior Scotland Yard policeman who used the phrase “whiter than white” in an internal … (read more)

Posted: 17th, September 2018 | In: News | Comment

Time for Spurs and England to drop Harry Kane

Goals can conceal the truth. Tottenham Hotspur striker Harry Kane scored 6 for England at the World Cup finals. The haul won him the Golden Boot as the tournament’s top … (read more)

Posted: 16th, September 2018 | In: Sports, Spurs | Comment

Millfield boys suspended for thrashing boys’ naked bottoms with a cricket bat

Is this why so many top cricketers have been to public school: they’re taught them to keep their eye on the balls from an early age? To Millfield school in … (read more)

Posted: 16th, September 2018 | In: News | Comment

Liverpool: that photo of Spurs defender Jan Vertonghen massaging Roberto Firmino’s brain


As Spurs lost 1-2 at their adopted Wembley home to Liverpool, many people noticed the moment when Tottenham’s Jan Vertonghen appeared to massage Roberto Firmino’s brain.

Did he mean to do it? Gouging … (read more)

Posted: 15th, September 2018 | In: Liverpool, Sports, Spurs | Comment

West Ham: leaks, Wilshere is injured and Champions League glory

Who is behind @exwhuemployee, a twitter account leaking the West Ham starting lineup before it’s common knowledge? For anyone keen to know which plodding midfield formation West Ham will field, … (read more)

Posted: 15th, September 2018 | In: Sports | Comment