Anorak - Author Archive

Arsenal Transfer Balls: Monreal lies and corrections

On the Sun’s transfer news page for Arsenal, readers see the headline: “Monreal CONTRACT TERMINATED.”

Nacho Monteal has been sacked? What did he do. The hard-working Spaniard has never been a … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, July 2019 | In: Back pages, Sports, Tabloids | Comment

Illegal immigrants rain on London

The body of a Kenya flight ‘stowaway’ has been “found” in a garden in Clapham, south London. The man fell off a Kenya Airways flight from Nairobi. The BBC says … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, July 2019 | In: Key Posts, News, Strange But True, Tabloids | Comment

Arsenal bid £40m for lifelong Gooner Wilfried Zaha

Arsenal have opened the bidding at £40m for Crystal Palace’s brilliant Wilfried Zaha. Palace want “up to £80m” (BBC) for the 26-year-old. The Guardian says Palace want “around £100m”. The … (read more)

Posted: 1st, July 2019 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comment

News Corp writers paid by the click; Guardian subs paid by the typo

As seen in the Guardian

Writers for Australia’s Herald Sun can boost their pay by turning their stories into sponsored posts and marketing campaigns. Writers can earn between $10 and $50 … (read more)

Posted: 26th, June 2019 | In: Broadsheets, Key Posts, News | Comment

North London bakery damaged in anti-semitic attack

To the local bagel bakery in North London. The message on the window – scratched in by an amateur sign writer – declares “RICH JEWS”.

I’ve heard this slight … (read more)

Posted: 19th, May 2019 | In: Key Posts, News | Comment

Raheem Sterling’s ‘stolen’ ghost hat-trick: Manchester City beat Watford

The BBC’s report on the FA Cup final hype between Manchester City and Watford at Wembley makes for odd reading. The BBC’s voracious website tells us that City’s England striker … (read more)

Posted: 18th, May 2019 | In: Back pages, Manchester City, Sports | Comment

Freddie Starr never ate a hamster

Freddie Starr (9 January 1943; died 9 May 2019) never ate a hamster, at least not Supersonic. In 1986 the Sun told how the entertainer had put the rodent between … (read more)

Posted: 10th, May 2019 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, News, Tabloids | Comment

John Rhys-Davies is Adam Ant on Question Time

John ‘Prince Charming’ Rhys-Davies

For those of you missed John Rhys-Davies’s performance on the BBC’s politics as circus show Question Time last night, here is the man himself channeling the great … (read more)

Posted: 26th, April 2019 | In: Key Posts, Politicians, TV & Radio | Comment

We’re On A Break… Back After Brexit

… (read more)

Posted: 22nd, April 2019 | In: News | Comment

Tumblr is dead: network bans Iggy Pop, David Bowie and The Bayeux Tapestry for being too dangerous

Tumblr is dead. The social media network owned by Verizon bans everything and anything. It offers users a right to “appeal” its ridiculous decisions. Why bother? It’s not worth the … (read more)

Posted: 12th, April 2019 | In: Key Posts, News, Technology | Comment

Daily Star sacks all its Page 3 topless models

The job market is looking bleak for topless stunnas. The Daily Star says it will no longer feature pictures of topless women on Page 3, following the Sun’s move to … (read more)

Posted: 12th, April 2019 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, News, Tabloids | Comment

Upskirting still legal in the newsagents

It is illegal to take photos up a person’s skirt or other items of clothing without their consent. Upskirting is a crime if “the offender has a motive of either … (read more)

Posted: 12th, April 2019 | In: Key Posts, News, Tabloids | Comment

It’s illegal to take your dog on the New York Subway

America really is another country. Having only recently discovered bribing elite colleges to accept children of the rich and famous was illegal – I thought it was the done thing; … (read more)

Posted: 10th, April 2019 | In: Strange But True | Comment

This is a Supermassive Black Hole

See that image above? That is a Supermassive Black Hole. It is a photograph from the edge of everything. The single picture of a circle of fire was produced by … (read more)

Posted: 10th, April 2019 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Labour Group linked to John McDonnell says Jewish group ‘stabbed Labour in the back’

An article on the website for the ‘Labour Representation Committee’ (LRC) – Honorary President: John McDonnell, the current shadow chancellor – appears beneath the headline: “JLM Stabs Labour in … (read more)

Posted: 10th, April 2019 | In: News, Politicians | Comment

Barking teenager extorted millions from porn users

The Tosser’s Tosser

Zain Qaiser was quite the bedroom entrepreneur until the law caught up with him. Qaiser, a student from Barking, London, is estimated to have made £4m blackmailing pornography … (read more)

Posted: 9th, April 2019 | In: Key Posts, Money, News | Comment

Chelseaballs: Danny Drinkwater is alive and fighting nominative determinism

Occasional Chelsea footballer Danny Drinkwater, 29, has been charged with drink-driving after a car crash in Mere, Cheshire, in the early hours of Monday. Mr Drinkwater, 29, who lives … (read more)

Posted: 9th, April 2019 | In: Chelsea, Sports | Comment

Hollywood PRs weep as Felicity Huffman admits guilt

In a move that has sent a chill wind through the offices of the Hollywood PR industry, actress Felicity Huffman offered no sympathetic backstory or refreshingly dishonest non-denial denial as … (read more)

Posted: 9th, April 2019 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, News | Comment

Fire Brigades Union official censured for using antisemitic phrase ‘rootless cosmopolitans’; Corbyn escapes

Fire Brigades Union official Paul Embery must stop all social media activity at some point in the future or else, reports the Jewish News. His offence is to have used … (read more)

Posted: 8th, April 2019 | In: Key Posts, News | Comment

Shami Chakrabarti to Jews: don’t panic Corbyn won’t be leader forever

Jeremy Corbyn’s Labour turn things upside for Jews

Shami Chakrabarti, given a seat in the House of Lords and made a Dame after telling us there is no anti-Semitism in the … (read more)

Posted: 7th, April 2019 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comment

Desperate poacher killed by elephants and eaten by lions

Shall we unpack the story of the poacher killed by an elephant then eaten by lions? Do you want to hear about the dead man’s impoverished, brutal life, his dear … (read more)

Posted: 7th, April 2019 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment

State steals Teagan Appleby’s cannabis medicine; the Dark Web beckons

Walk down most streets in London and you can small skunk, the strong, hot-house grown cannabis. The Mail says cannabis is so commonplace throughout the UK that police don’t bother … (read more)

Posted: 6th, April 2019 | In: Key Posts, News | Comment

Brexit: our elites are the best in the world

Lots of chuntering about the UK’s “elites” stitching up the Leave-voting electorate over Brexit. Admiration for the elites’ behaviour is deserved.

Our elites are probably the best elites in the world. … (read more)

Posted: 5th, April 2019 | In: News | Comment

Cannabis is full of good shit, bad shit and the smuggler’s diarrhoea

Anyone buying cannabis in Madrid should know that it contains “dangerous levels of faecal matter”. What safe levels of human shit are in your good shit is unsaid. But the … (read more)

Posted: 4th, April 2019 | In: Key Posts, News, Strange But True | Comment

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