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Anorak | Anorak - Part 31

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Arsenal: Overmars makes his case for the job and Sanchez return from Manchester United

Don’t panic Arsenal fans. News is that Manchester United’s hugely expensive Chilean forward Alexis Sanchez, 30, could return to Arsenal. So says former Arsenal player Marc Overmars. “I have great … (read more)

Posted: 15th, February 2019 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comment

Pristine copy of first Super Mario Bros game sells for $100,150

To the attic! An unopened copy of Nintendo’s Super Mario Bros. original 1985 game has sold at auction for $100,150.

From the auction house:

“Beyond the artistic and historical significance of … (read more)

Posted: 15th, February 2019 | In: Key Posts, News, Technology, The Consumer | Comment

The taming of Shamima Begum: British teen who joined ISIS wants to come home

Teenagers, eh. They slam doors, get pierced and run off to join ISIS in Syria, where they pledge Holy War, death to Jews, Christians and gays, and champion the subjugation … (read more)

Posted: 14th, February 2019 | In: Key Posts, News | Comment

Madeleine McCann: three cops; one source; and freedom of no information request

There’s been very little news of Madeleine McCann. The story has lost its push. But the Star and other tabloids plough gamely on, waiting for an new fact to add … (read more)

Posted: 14th, February 2019 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, News, Tabloids | Comment

Creating Anti-Vax news for clicks; Darla Shine says measles is ‘LOL’; LadBible accused; cancer patients worry

Darla Shine used to be a producer for Fox News producer. She’s married to Bill Shine, the White House deputy chief of staff of communications. Darla thinks a measles outbreak … (read more)

Posted: 13th, February 2019 | In: Key Posts, News | Comment

Phone lottery scammer tried to con former CIA and FBI boss William Webster; scammer lost

Keniel A Thomas, 29, was a scammer who could not fail – not until he called William Webster (born March 6, 1924), the man who served as chief of the … (read more)

Posted: 13th, February 2019 | In: Key Posts, Money, News | Comment

Emiliano Sala: Daily Mirror turns his girlfriend into clickbait

Before he died during a flight over the English Channel, the British media was not interested in Emiliano Sala. Signed by Cardiff City from Nantes for a club record fee … (read more)

Posted: 13th, February 2019 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment

‘Satan Lives’ in my toaster – a classic TV news clip

To Boca Raton, Florida, where Satan has taken refuge in a toaster. “SATAN LIVES,” says the message on the toast. “When all said and done,” reasons the keeper of Hell’s … (read more)

Posted: 12th, February 2019 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment

Katy Perry blackface shoes are racist

You can see your face in Katy Perry’s shoes. Well, you can if you work as a black and White Minstrel. Perry’s shoes are no longer in store on account … (read more)

Posted: 12th, February 2019 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment

Hugh Grant talks about his movies – like a normal bloke

Hugh Grant will one day be recalled as the best British actor of his generation. He stole the show in Paddington 2 – which is terrific, by the way – … (read more)

Posted: 12th, February 2019 | In: Celebrities, Film | Comment

Ilhan Omar singles out those ‘evil’ Jews who owe allegiance to a foreign power

Ilhan Omar has done her bit to prove that the far Right doesn’t have a monopoly on antisemitism (see: Corbyn J). Omar, one of just two Muslim women in the … (read more)

Posted: 12th, February 2019 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians | Comment

Labour: ‘What Antisemitism crisis?’; Corbyn’s 12 apostles get busted

The Labour antisemitism “crisis” – which isn’t – appears on just one front page. The Daily Telegraph leads with the “Labour antisemitism crisis”. But not one of the Corbyn cronies … (read more)

Posted: 12th, February 2019 | In: Broadsheets, Key Posts, News, Politicians | Comment

Only fools, Corbyn’s cronies and bigots believe Labour on antisemitism

From hundreds of cases of antisemitism in the Labour Party, Labour General Secretary Jennie Formby says 12 members were kicked out. Says Labour MP Ruth Smeeth:

This isn’t over yet. Nobody … (read more)

Posted: 11th, February 2019 | In: News, Politicians | Comment

Aaron Ramsey leaves Arsenal for £400k-a-week at Juventus

Arsenal midfielder Aaron Ramsey will earn £400,000 a week for four years at Juventus. The 28-year-old will become the highest paid British footballer ever.

Arsenal will get nothing.

But someone will … (read more)

Posted: 11th, February 2019 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comment

Manchester City say sorry for thrashing Chelsea and enjoying it

There will be singing of only acceptable chants at the football. The Premier League is no place for spontaneity. Goals will reviewed by a panel in a studio before being … (read more)

Posted: 11th, February 2019 | In: Chelsea, Manchester City, Sports | Comment

Meghan Markle writes an open letter to her dear old dad

Meghan Markle will need stronger crystals and a firmer deep tissue massage to reach the serotonin (happy hormones) as her heart is “broken beyond repair”. The Express has news … (read more)

Posted: 11th, February 2019 | In: Key Posts, News, Royal Family, Tabloids | Comment

Manchester United Balls: Ole Gunnar Solskjaer named new manager – but only in the Sun

As you were Spurs fans. Relax. Mauricio Pochettino is no longer wanted by Manchester United. The Sun bellows the news that Ole Gunnar Solskjaer will be named the full-time manager … (read more)

Posted: 11th, February 2019 | In: Back pages, Key Posts, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment

Martial Phwoar! Manchester United striker in Paris sex scoop

Anorak was looking for the headline ‘Martial Phwoar’, but instead has to make do with the Star’s “exclusive” that Manchester United forward Anthony Martial is a “Cheapskate”.

The paper alleges … (read more)

Posted: 10th, February 2019 | In: Key Posts, manchester united, News, Sports, Tabloids | Comment

Manchester United balls: David de Gea wants £500,000-a-week; or less

The Mail says De Gea is off to PSG

Manchester United goalkeeper David de Gea, 28, is “insisting” (BBC) the club pay him £350,000-a-week if they want him to sign a new … (read more)

Posted: 10th, February 2019 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports, Tabloids | Comment

Gemma Collins seeks spiritual advice from Kerry Katona

Who better for Gemma Collins to turn to for spiritual advice than Kerry Katona, former Queen of ITV’s I’m A Celebrity jungle and long billed in the tabloid press as … (read more)

Posted: 10th, February 2019 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, News, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment

Liverpool balls: Mane offside for ‘lovely goal’; Howe wants VAR; Bournemouth and West Ham robbed

Sadio Mane was “offside” (BBC) when he opened the scoring in Liverpool’s 3-0 win at Bournemouth. Mane has scored in four successive Premier League games for the first time in … (read more)

Posted: 9th, February 2019 | In: Back pages, Key Posts, Liverpool, Sports | Comment

Sir Philip Green allegedly paid woman £1m for kissing and groping her

The injunctions are dead. Sir Philip Green wanted the law to prevent the Daily Telegraph from revealing details of alleged sexual and racial abuse against him. Today the paper leads with … (read more)

Posted: 9th, February 2019 | In: Broadsheets, Key Posts, News | Comment

Labour’s little problem with Luciana Berger

Chuka Umunna says the Labour Party is “institutionally racist”. Too many of its fans are Jew haters and Jew baiters. Umunna is an erudite, cosmopolitan bloke. He hasn’t left Labour, … (read more)

Posted: 8th, February 2019 | In: News, Politicians | Comment

Jeff Bezos dick photos and Trump’s Pecker

PSST! Wanna see what Jeff Bezos’s penis looks like? American Media Inc. (AMI), the National Enquirer’s parent company, thinks you might. Mr Bezos, who owns Amazon and the Washington Post, isn’t keen on you … (read more)

Posted: 8th, February 2019 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, National Enquirer, News, Politicians | Comment

Walmart sells Hitler pillows

Who wants to buy a pillow bearing the image of Hitler’s face and a swastika? People of Walmart do. The Fresno Bee:

When the Very Rev. Ryan Newman bought the pillow on … (read more)

Posted: 8th, February 2019 | In: Key Posts, News, The Consumer | Comment

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