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Anorak | Anorak - Part 39

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Jesus gets his cross stuck in the ceiling (video)

In which Jesus is out-foxed by a false ceiling:

… (read more)

Posted: 26th, September 2017 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Lavinia Woodward’s mitigating factors: she’s not black, male and poor

Lavinia Woodward, 24, has been in court for assaulting her boyfriend – she stabbed him in the leg with a bread knife after throwing a laptop, a glass and a … (read more)

Posted: 26th, September 2017 | In: Key Posts, News | Comment

Bias balls: Arenal mistime a tackle as West Bromwich Albion howl for a penalty

Media bias: a look at biased football reporting. Last night Arsenal beat West Bromwich Albion 2-0 in the Premier League. Tired at 0-0, Arsenal Shkodran Mustafi appeared to bring down … (read more)

Posted: 26th, September 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment

A ‘very disgusting bodily fluid’ was found in soap dispensers

I once worked a biscuit factory. After an hour in the job, I swore never to eat that brand of biscuit again. Whenever I now see someone eating one, I … (read more)

Posted: 25th, September 2017 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment

Instant karma for window-smashing hooligan (warning: graphic)

\Not too sure that’s how karma worked. But still, ouch! … (read more)

Posted: 25th, September 2017 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Poppy monoculture: a draconian silence falls over Wembley

Without any hint of irony the Daily Telegraph hears that England – the national football side rebranded ‘The Three Lions’ – are allowed to wear pictures of poppies on their … (read more)

Posted: 25th, September 2017 | In: Back pages, Broadsheets, Key Posts, News, Sports, Tabloids | Comment

#taketheknee: Donald Trump gets a bigger hand on Twitter

Donald Trump has big hands. Bigly hands. Huge hands.

Your hand. It’s…photoshopped? Jesus, Donny. pic.twitter.com/2UlF5mSlmn— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) September 25, 2017

I don't think it is photoshop…that is his hand….Look pic.twitter.com/HegbYZqUnI— … (read more)

Posted: 25th, September 2017 | In: Politicians | Comment

Kim Jong-Un fills his trousers

 

 

Spotter: @MrKenShabby … (read more)

Posted: 25th, September 2017 | In: Politicians | Comment

Monkey hipster has a shave (video)

 

Spotter: YouTube … (read more)

Posted: 24th, September 2017 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Leland Melvin writes and Roseanne Barr flees as Donald Trump reviews NFL games for poor anthem singing

Donald Trump wants sportsmen to stand up straight and give full throat to the US National Anthem. Trump’s directive is not an attempt to best Kim Jong-un in the battle … (read more)

Posted: 24th, September 2017 | In: News, Politicians | Comment

Arsenal balls: Sanchez leaves Higuain and joins Manchester United

Hard luck on Arsenal fans: Alexis Sanchez is on his way to Manchester United. The Sun has the scoop, leading with the “TRANSFER EXCLUSIVE”.

 

 

No word on whence the story emerged. … (read more)

Posted: 24th, September 2017 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment

Punching fascists and other hate crimes: why Astro Labe ‘attacked’ tony Abbott

Astro Labe has been charged with assault for an alleged attack on Australian MP Tony Abbott.  Labe, a 38-year-old bartender and barista, tells Adelaide Now why he did it. Was it … (read more)

Posted: 24th, September 2017 | In: News, Politicians | Comment

Violent Australian bigots have the say on same‑sex marriage

In Australia a debate over gay marriage has turned nasty. Australia’s 16m registered voters are answering a question “Should the law be changed to allow same-sex couples to marry?” We’ll … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, September 2017 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians | Comment

Manchester United balls: what Maja Nilsson didn’t say about executive boxes

Seats are pricey at Manchester United. Even a footballer on astronomical wages is upset at the cost of watching the Red Devils. The Daily Mirror says Victor Lindelof’s fiancee “blasts” Man … (read more)

Posted: 21st, September 2017 | In: Back pages, manchester united, News, Sports | Comment

Donald Trump discovers ‘Nambia’ where Namibia used to be

Donald Trump is in Africa. He’s meeting with the leading of ‘Nambia’.

Presidential? Very. In Nambia, do they speak Austrian?

… (read more)

Posted: 21st, September 2017 | In: Politicians | Comment

Ekaterina Lisina has the wold’s longest legs

“So excited when I got this title,” says former jockey basketball player Ekaterina Lisina, 29. The Russian is the woman with the world’s longest Legs – 52 inches long (each!).

“What is good … (read more)

Posted: 21st, September 2017 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Nestlé does not pay nothing for bottling water

You mugs drinking water for ‘hydration’ deserve all you can get. Fruit and vegetable juice are the drink of choice for the health conscious, especially when they’re rebranded as cider, … (read more)

Posted: 21st, September 2017 | In: News, The Consumer | Comment

Liverpool regrets: Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain plays and Arsenal fans laugh

Don’t panic, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, the Arsenal player who left the club for Liverpool in a £40m transfer. Four matches into his rosy-fingered dawn and ‘The Ox’ has yet to be … (read more)

Posted: 20th, September 2017 | In: Arsenal, Liverpool, News, Sports | Comment

Owen Jones meets Alistair Campbell is beyond parody

When the Guardian’s Owen Jones interviews Tony Blair’s former spin doctor Alastair Campbell is was golden.

 
Agree with him or not, @campbellclaret deserves better than being condescended to by this adolescent … (read more)

Posted: 20th, September 2017 | In: Celebrities, Politicians | Comment

Did you spot the huge penis in a Netflix children’s cartoon? Here it is

 

For those of you who missed it, this is the huge penis drawing that featured on a Netflix show Maya the Bee. The Mirror hears from the parent who spotted it and … (read more)

Posted: 20th, September 2017 | In: Strange But True, TV & Radio | Comments (2)

Antifa bigots are even worse than the neo-Nazi they beat up in Seattle

Prince Harry got lucky. Moreover, Sid Vicious, Keith Moon, Brian Jones, Siouxie Sioux, Ron Asheton, Peter Rabbit, TV baker Paul Hollywood and Paul Dutton, 48, who was ejected from his local … (read more)

Posted: 20th, September 2017 | In: Key Posts, News | Comments (3)

Tomb Raider: Alicia Vikander seen without Photoshop for first time

 

It’s pretty well known that Swedish dancer an actor Alicia Vikander is part giraffe. In her previous jobs the professional liars (surely ‘Photoshop artistes’? – ed) shorten Vikaner’s neck so as … (read more)

Posted: 19th, September 2017 | In: Celebrities, Film | Comment

The dadbag: look like a hairy man with this to-die-for bumbag

 

Look like a pre-depilated Kardahsian with the Dadbag. It’s a bum bag that looks like a bloke’s stomach. Designer Albert Pukies tells Bored Panda:
I made the dadbag because I’m desperate to have dad bod … (read more)

Posted: 19th, September 2017 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Sex doll rentals to supplement your rubber insulated love life

 

Hard luck on Chinese men who enjoy rubber insulated sex with a rubber insulated partner. The sex doll rental service is no more.
“We prepared ten dolls for the trial operation,” a … (read more)

Posted: 19th, September 2017 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment

‘Piss Off Fatso’: When Thompson and Lillee wreaked havoc

 

The Ashes are coming. A friend tells me with no little boasting, “I watched Thompson and Lillee on ‘The Hill’.” That was the 1974-1975 Ashes, when Geoff Thompson and Dennis … (read more)

Posted: 19th, September 2017 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment

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