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Anorak

Anorak - Author Archive

Brexit: May agrees democracy’s death sentence

It’s not yet a crime to hate Brexit or the EU. It will be, of course. Hating most things is a crime. Most of us don’t rate the Brexit deal … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, November 2018 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians | Comment


Manchester United sell kit that does not actually exist

 

Dreaming up news to market the band is hard graft. But Manchester United are very good at it. The Brand are selling a replica kit that does not exist in … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, November 2018 | In: Fashion, manchester united, News, Sports, Technology, The Consumer | Comment


Signal-Activated Lingerie: the clap-off bra is here

 

Tired women, adolescents and theatre-goers rejoice (and beware), the clap-off bra is upon us. Michael M. Ahmadshahi Ph.D., Esq. has invented and patented Signal-Activated Lingerie:
“Lingerie, such as bras which are … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, November 2018 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True, Technology, The Consumer | Comment


Transfer Balls: Rashford makes Manchester United an offer they can refuse and a Liverpool move is back on

Good news for Chelsea fans: N’Golo Kante has signed a new five-year deal. “It has been two beautiful years and I wish for more to come,” he said after signing the … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, November 2018 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, manchester united, Sports | Comment


Joan Crawford’s holiday tips – with no hippies

Joan Crawford’s holiday tips – how to enjoy a wonderful Thanksgiving with no hippies – “I always add a splash of vodka to everything”. Taken from her memoirs, Joan Crawford … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, November 2018 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment


Spurs balls: Eriksen contract countdown and stadium move in January

The inability to finish a stadium on time is costing Spurs money and stress. The new White Hart Lane won’t be completed until “January or February”, says Spurs manger Mauricio … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, November 2018 | In: Sports, Spurs | Comment


Women’s March and Corbyn fans agree: it’s ok to hate Jews

 

It’s ok to be anti-Semitic. This we know, some claim, because Jeremy Corbyn is still leader of the Labour Party. Had Corbyn othered blacks or Asians in the same way … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, November 2018 | In: Key Posts, News | Comment


Prince Charles dead secret daughter meets Meghan Markle

 

Know this: Prince Harry’s wife “Meghan Meets Diana’s Secret Daughter!”. This exclusive is brought to you by Globe. Th daughter is Princess Sarah. She was allegedly “conceived in a bizarre fertility test … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, November 2018 | In: Key Posts, News, Royal Family, Tabloids | Comment


Liverpool Balls: Salah to Barcelona for €100m and some loose change

If the absurd, greedy, money-soaked world of football, Liverpool and Barcelona have struck a bizarre deal: the Spaniards must pay a 100m euro (£89m) surcharge on top of any transfer … (read more)

Posted: 21st, November 2018 | In: Liverpool, Sports | Comment


Arsenal balls: Nicolas Pepe tops the wish list

 

Transfer balls: Arsenal are looking to sign a forward in the January transfer window. Danny Welbeck’s ankle injury has ruled him out for a few months at least. Arsenal a … (read more)

Posted: 21st, November 2018 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment


The myth of underage problem gambling

The Daily Mail today warns about the “Epidemic of Child Gamblers”. Yippee! The future for betting companies is sound. If there is one industry that has truly embraced the internet … (read more)

Posted: 21st, November 2018 | In: Key Posts, News, Tabloids | Comment


Bullshit.com: Frenkie de Jong to Manchester City is a ‘done deal’

Transfer Balls: Following the Mirror’s news that Frenkie de Jong had agreed to join Manchester City for £60m comes news in the, er, Daily Mirror that he hasn’t. But he … (read more)

Posted: 21st, November 2018 | In: Back pages, Key Posts, Manchester City, News, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Deke Duncan: DJ who broadcast to an audience of one gets BBC radio show

 

“I genuinely thought this was a well-crafted parody, something that the likes of @serafinowicz & @robertpopper would conjure up, but no…it’s 100% genuine – All hail Deke Duncan from Stevenage,” … (read more)

Posted: 21st, November 2018 | In: Key Posts, News, Strange But True, TV & Radio | Comment


Massachusetts mayor plans to pickle the state’s first legal marijuana

“I am not pickled – but my weed is”

 

From today you can buy weed legally in Massachusetts for fun. The state’s first commercial marijuana stores opened … (read more)

Posted: 20th, November 2018 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians, The Consumer | Comment


Arsenal balls: Ramsey could stay

Being a pundit is easy. You speak. And then move on to the next bit of mindless chatter. Which brings us to former Arsenal striker Ian Wright who is waxing … (read more)

Posted: 20th, November 2018 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment


Transfer Balls: Pogba wants to leave Manchester United to go ‘home’

Manchester United midfielder Paul Pogba, 25, says he wants to leave Manchester United. He’s missing life at Juventus. Corriere dello Sport has the scoop. But the Daily Mirror does its … (read more)

Posted: 20th, November 2018 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports | Comment


Unions deeply upset that Tory minister Claire Perry allegedly swore

 

Claire Perry is accused of swearing and shouting at staff. The Guardian carries the news that the … Yeah, she’s the energy minister. Well, done, Claire and Claire’s mum for … (read more)

Posted: 20th, November 2018 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians | Comment


Madeleine McCann: Rangers fans, David Baddiel and ‘active leads’ keep the story moving

That the story of Madeleine McCann has taken on a life of its own is not news. The single thread story – child vanishes – has been spun. But the … (read more)

Posted: 20th, November 2018 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, News, Tabloids | Comment


Transfer Balls: Real Madrid in for Harry Kane at Spurs and Liverpool want Demirbay

Transfer Balls: undaunted by their apparent failure to recruit Aaron Ramsey from Arenal – he’s on his way to Bayern Munich, reportedly – AC Milan have begun talks with another … (read more)

Posted: 19th, November 2018 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, manchester united, Sports, Spurs | Comment


13 Ways to reuse your Thanksgiving turkey – by F. Scott Fitzgerald

F. Scott Fitzgerald (September 24, 1896–December 21, 1940) – will now offer 13 ways to reuse your Thanksgiving turkey. The writers says the recipes were harvested from “old cook books, … (read more)

Posted: 18th, November 2018 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment


Ping Pong the panda bear is racist – Derby school’s stuffed toy in race storm

You can tell a fair bit about someone’s convictions by the form their apology takes. Kevin Gaiderman has been invited to apologise for naming a stuffed toy he brought back from a … (read more)

Posted: 18th, November 2018 | In: Key Posts, News, Strange But True, Tabloids | Comment


Transfer balls: Manchester City have not signed Frenkie de Jong but Spurs or Manchester United might

“Spurs set to beat Barcelona to Dutch wonderkid Frenkie de Jong,” screamed EuroSport on November 16. Two days later, the BBC tells us Frenkie de Jong is on his way … (read more)

Posted: 18th, November 2018 | In: Back pages, Manchester City, manchester united, Sports, Spurs, Tabloids | Comment


London Ambulance Service snares unisex signs vandal and other Blue Mooners

 

There’s a scene in Grease, the 1978 film, where the school principle vows to call in the FBI and thereby identify the three  ‘Blue Mooners’ who bared their backsides … (read more)

Posted: 18th, November 2018 | In: Key Posts, News | Comment