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Anorak

Anorak - Author Archive

China and the EU check your toilet for signs of illegal drug use

To China, where a wonk is hiding in your toilet bowl checking your poo and wee for signs of banned substances. Well, soon. for now the burgers have gotten only … (read more)

Posted: 20th, July 2018 | In: News, Technology | Comment

Kindly Mandalay Bay massacre hotel sues the victims

If there’s blame, there’s a claim. And because you can blame pretty much anyone for anything if you think about it enough, The Mandalay Bay Hotel, Las Vegas, from where … (read more)

Posted: 20th, July 2018 | In: News | Comment

No anti-racist should vote for Corbyn’s Jew hating Labour

Funny, no, how so many self-styled anti-racist campaigners on the Corbyn Left have no problem with Jew baiting and Jew hatred. Might it be – and this is just a … (read more)

Posted: 20th, July 2018 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians | Comment

Sir Cliff Richard: victim of the paedo inquisition

 

In the post-Savile era, the BBC is so desperate to look decent and worthy that it broadcast live a police raid on an innocent man’s home. The celebrity in the … (read more)

Posted: 19th, July 2018 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, News | Comment

Liverpool sign Alisson

Liverpool will sign Alisson, the Roma and Brazil goalkeeper, for an eye-watering and absurd £66.8m. Alisson, 25, has only been at Roma for two years, joining from Brazilian side Internacional … (read more)

Posted: 18th, July 2018 | In: Liverpool, Sports | Comment

Police log: man arrested for driving with monkey on his back

You can’t drink and drink, toke a spliff and drive, hold an apple and drive, eat a Pot Noodle and drive and more but you can be in possession of … (read more)

Posted: 18th, July 2018 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Transfer balls: Chelsea want Arsenal’s Cech and Liverpool target Alisson

Goalkeepers are the subject of today’s transfer news round-up. It turns out that Liverpool will not be sticking with Loris Karius, who, as the BBC puts it, was “found” to … (read more)

Posted: 18th, July 2018 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Sports | Comment

Manchester United disappointment Paul Pogba offered to Barcelona

Like most of you, we think Paul Pogba’s been a disappointment since rejoining Manchester United for a massive transfer fee. But in the eyes of the marketing business that runs … (read more)

Posted: 15th, July 2018 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment

Nigel Farage duped by anti-refugee photshop

 

Nigel Farage, former leader of UKIP and now LBC radio opinion jock, says the photo above is an “insult” to “victims of sexual abuse and rape in Malmo”. He adds … (read more)

Posted: 15th, July 2018 | In: News, Politicians | Comment

Transfer balls: Spurs ‘flop’ Modric to Manchester United, Arsenal and Liverpool

A headline is an opinion, which is why the Daily Express can call Croatia’s brilliant midfielder Luka Modric a “Spurs flop”. The full headline used to seduce readers to click … (read more)

Posted: 13th, July 2018 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Chelsea, Liverpool, Sports, Spurs, Tabloids | Comment

Transfer Balls: Ronaldo to Facebook, Higuain to Chelsea, Dybala to Liverpool

All that guff about Cristiano Ronaldo returning ‘home’ to Manchester United is over – well, it is until his four-year contract with Juventus ends, at which point the British Press … (read more)

Posted: 11th, July 2018 | In: Chelsea, Liverpool, manchester united, Sports | Comment

Brexit plan revealed: let’s invade the EU

 

Situations Vacant: Brexit Secretary – the one person in the country who can’t just shout just “get the **** on with it” at the telly. David Davis, who was leading … (read more)

Posted: 9th, July 2018 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians | Comment

Arsenal buy fighting French midfielder

Transfer balls: every so often a player the media experts know nothing of makes a move. And so it is with Arsenal’s hiring of Lorient’s 19-year-old France Under-20 footballer Matteo Guendouzi. … (read more)

Posted: 9th, July 2018 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment

Corbyn’s Labour united by hated of Jews

What unites the factions behind Jeremy Cobyn’s Labour? In a word: Jews. Obscurantist  theories about Jews are now back in the mainstream. Jew baiting and Jew hatred never went away, … (read more)

Posted: 8th, July 2018 | In: News, Politicians | Comment

Transfer balls: Chelsea buy Higuain who joins Arsenal and waits for Ronaldo

The Daily Mail says that Chelsea are to sign Juventus and Argentina striker Gonzalo Higuain for £53m. Just as soon as Chelsea tell Antonio Conte to vet thee hence, they will recruit … (read more)

Posted: 5th, July 2018 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Chelsea, Sports, Tabloids | Comment

Transfer balls: Torreira is the only thing missing from his Arsenal move

Arsenal will sign Lucas Torreira, 22, for a transfer fee of around €30 million just as soon his his Uruguay side get knocked out of the World Cup (or win it). … (read more)

Posted: 5th, July 2018 | In: Arsenal, Sports, Tabloids | Comment

Maradona condones Colombia cheating; England love it

You know you’re doing something right when you get up Diego Maradona’s nose. The Argentine operating as a FIFA ambassador, says England’s penalty shoot-out victory over Colombia is tantamount to theft. Maradona, … (read more)

Posted: 5th, July 2018 | In: Sports | Comment

Nick is in court but VIP paedos escape again

Remember Nick? Of course you do. He was the whistleblower who knew all about VIP peadophiles abusing and murdering children in Westminster. He’s heading to court. No, no to confront … (read more)

Posted: 4th, July 2018 | In: News, Politicians, Tabloids | Comment

World Cup Watch: Daily Mail singles out Sterling for criticism

Raheem Sterling is rubbish in the Daily Mail

 

Did you know Manchester City and England striker Raheem Sterling has not scored for England in 1000 days? It’s … (read more)

Posted: 4th, July 2018 | In: Back pages, Key Posts, Manchester City, Sports, Tabloids | Comment

Shark bites woman feeding it by hand on the hand shocker

It was “shocking” says ABC News. You wonder how easily shocked ABC News is. Is it shocked by finding meat in a beefburger, spotting that the Pope wears a funny shaped … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, July 2018 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Peter Firmin: remembering The Clangers, Bagpuss and their creator

 

Peter Firmin (1928-2018) co-created Bagpuss, The Clangers, Basil Brush, Ivor the Engine, Pogles Wood and Noggin the Nog. You might not know the man, but every Briton who grew up in the … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, July 2018 | In: Key Posts, News, TV & Radio | Comment

Transfer balls: Lyon ‘trick’ Liverpool with Fekir to Manchester United talk

This summer’s transfer saga centres on Nabil Fakir’s move from Lyon to Liverpool. The transfer was so far progressed that Fakir was filmed wearing a new Liverpool shirt. But the … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, July 2018 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, manchester united, Sports | Comment

Clean Bandit: for Jeremy Cobryn and Azerbaijan

Compare and contrast the following news on Clean Bandit (the soundtrack for Marks & Spencer – the bands rider is Marks & Spencer mozzarella salads and quinoa) – fronted by … (read more)

Posted: 1st, July 2018 | In: Music, Politicians | Comment

Nice guy Southgate ruins the glorious chance to beat Brazil at the World Cup

Happy days. England will play Colombia in the first World Cup knockout phase. Had Gareth Southgate’s team beaten Belgium and not lost 1-0, having put in a performance devoid of … (read more)

Posted: 29th, June 2018 | In: News | Comment

The plot to kill Prince George

The National Enquirer’s “world exclusive” is unequivocal: “ISIS Kill Plot Foiled! Sniper Caught Stalking Prince George!” An ISIS sniper in London got that close to the heir? How close? Well, … (read more)

Posted: 28th, June 2018 | In: Celebrities, National Enquirer, Royal Family | Comment

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