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Anorak

Anorak - Author Archive

Transfer Balls: Gareth Bale to Manchester United and Real Madrid chatter

Stop the back page bilge about Gareth Bale leaving Real Madrid for Manchester United. The BBC says Bale’s career at Real Madrid has been given “a lifeline”. Why? Because Real’s … (read more)

Posted: 17th, June 2018 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports | Comment


Arsenal fall foul of GDPR

One Arsenal fan received a season ticket renewal form featuring the details of a stranger. “Richard’s” letter about his gold season ticket listed another fan’s full name, date of birth, address, home … (read more)

Posted: 16th, June 2018 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comment


England in gun outrage; Prince George in gun outrage; Raheem Sterling in doodle outrage

Raheem Sterling’s gun tattoo caused the Sun to shunt all other news from its front page and channel the fury. It was that bad. A few days on after the … (read more)

Posted: 15th, June 2018 | In: Manchester City, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Transfer balls: Arsenal and Liverpool both favourites to sign Mario Gotze

With two Borussia Dortmund players already on the books, and another scheduled to be announced on July 1, Arsenal are looking at recruiting Mario Gotze. The  Germans want £18m for the … (read more)

Posted: 15th, June 2018 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Key Posts, Liverpool, Sports | Comment


Transfer balls: Jack Wilshere hints at Arsenal stay

Jack Wilshere has lots of time on his hands. Not picked for England’s World Cup squad, the Arsenal midfielder is posting things on the web. The Telegraph reads one of … (read more)

Posted: 14th, June 2018 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment


Arsenal transfers: Torreira agrees Leno sought and Papastathopoulos signs

How much money do Arsenal have to spend in the transfer window? The BBC says Arsenal “are close to spending their £50million summer transfer budget”. The Gunners are in for … (read more)

Posted: 14th, June 2018 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment


Oxford child sex gang jailed; don’t mention race and religion

How do you report on the eight men jailed for abusing children as young as 13? The Daily Express says: “A child sex gang has been jailed for nearly 90 … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2018 | In: News | Comment


Arsenal play Chelsea in Dublin in readiness for European super league

Arsenal will play Chelsea on 4 August in a pre-season rubber in Dublin as part of the – get this – International Champions Cup (ICC). Neither club is the Premier … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2018 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester City, manchester united, Sports, Spurs | Comment


Wetherspoon stops selling champagne; Primark closes Chanel concessions

Brexit continues to ripple although British society. The BBC brings news to chill the marrow: “Wetherspoon to stop selling champagne ahead of Brexit.” Who knew you could buy champagne at … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2018 | In: News, The Consumer | Comment


Journalist mocks French-only rule at Antoine Griezmann press conference

Atletico Madrid’s France striker and anti-dandruff activist Antoine Griezmann was the star of a press conference in which the rule was that all question should be in French. This was … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2018 | In: Sports | Comment


Narcissism saves 30m North Koreans from nuclear destruction

Baseball caps off to Donald Trump. It turns out that he and North Korean leader Kim Jong-un want to make America great again. The paid had “a really fantastic meeting. … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2018 | In: Key Posts, News, Politicians | Comment


Transfer balls: Arsenal agree deal with Sampdoria’s Lucas Torreira

Arsenal have agreed to splurge £26.4m on Sampdoria’s Lucas Torreira. The Gunners are working to secure the hard-working 22-year-old Uruguayan on a five-year deal.

Torreira is in Russia for the World … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2018 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comment


Transfer balls: MEN dupes Manchester United fans with fake news

“Justin Kluivert completes Roma move,” declares the Manchester Evening News in its “live” blog of “Manchester United transfer news”. Ciaran Kelly is scathing of the fools who thought Kluivert was … (read more)

Posted: 12th, June 2018 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports | Comment


Grenfell: how the fire spread

What did so many people die when a flat in Grenfell Tower caught fire? We now the flames spread in the concrete clock – concrete does not burn but new … (read more)

Posted: 11th, June 2018 | In: News | Comment


Tea towels you keep forever linked to food poisoning

Your tea towel is killing you. Maybe. The Daily Mail says “repeatedly using an old one could help to spread food poisoning”.

 

 

It’s said much the same thing many times.
“A 2015 … (read more)

Posted: 11th, June 2018 | In: News, Tabloids | Comment


Transfer Balls: Torreira is Arsenal’s new one-man midfield

In what TeamTalk calls a “boost” for Unai Emery, a “€25m Serie A star” Lucas Torreira has  “agrees” to transfer to Arsenal.

 

Done deal!

 

Teamtalk says Lucas Torreira’s … (read more)

Posted: 11th, June 2018 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment


Breaking: Posh and Becks STILL married

More ‘no news’ news on the Sun’s cover: David Beckham and Victoria are still married. Yesterday they held hands at a London fashion event. It was a “show of unity”. … (read more)

Posted: 11th, June 2018 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment


The Free Tommy Robinson March and World Naked Bike Riders collide in London

London – June 9 2018:

The Free Tommy Robinson March has accidentally bumped into the World Naked Bike Ride event in London. What a time to be alive. pic.twitter.com/gTF0YIapdJ
— Chairman Lmao … (read more)

Posted: 10th, June 2018 | In: News | Comment


Transfer balls: Fekir rejects Liverpool

No News – Breaking! France forward Nabil Fekir is not joining Liverpool. Fekir will remain at Lyon. Fekir was supposed to join Liverpool for 60m euros. He even wore the Liverpool … (read more)

Posted: 9th, June 2018 | In: Liverpool, Sports | Comment


Transfer balls: Fakir kisses the Liverpool badge but still plays for Lyons

Liverpool have not signed Nabil Fakir for £53million. News is that the Reds stalled after the Lyon took his medical with the club. Fekir performed media duties in a Liverpool … (read more)

Posted: 9th, June 2018 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, Sports | Comment


Transfer balls: Higuain and Lewandowski to Chelsea; Arsenal still waiting

Whenever Argentina striker Gonzalo Higuain pop up in transfer chatter, we laugh a little. It’s been five years since the Sun told its readers that Arsenal had “smashed their transfer … (read more)

Posted: 8th, June 2018 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports | Comment


Transfer balls: Nabil Fakir wants Liverpool; dreams of Barcelona

Joyous transfer balls balls on the BBC.  The national broadcaster picks up the tale of Nabil Fakir’s move from Lyon to Liverpool. Get a load of this: “Lyon will allow forward … (read more)

Posted: 7th, June 2018 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Heinz Salad Cream or Sandwich Cream: the taste of bottled jizz

Heinz Salad Cream is relaunching. The sweetened gunk is to change it name to ‘Sandwich Cream’ because, as the marketing bilge states, “millennials don’t use it on salad.” But they … (read more)

Posted: 7th, June 2018 | In: Celebrities, The Consumer | Comment


Transfer balls: Yacine Adli joins Arsenal at 18; Higuain still missing

Have Arsenal signed Yacine Adli for just £223,000? The Metro and Sun says they have.

 

 

The media seem confused. The Sun says:
RMC Sport claim he has penned a three-year deal, with the option … (read more)

Posted: 6th, June 2018 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson reunited in Mirror and Mail cut and paste disaster

The Mirror is promoting an auction of photographs by “royal snapper” John Scott, who died in 1986. The paper omits to mention where the auction is talking place – you … (read more)

Posted: 6th, June 2018 | In: Key Posts, News, Royal Family, Tabloids | Comment