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Jennifer Abel - Author Archive

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Jennifer Abel's Recent posts:

TSA: Molesting And Groping Americans Was Just For Fun


IT’S obvious that the God of Situational Irony hates America’s Transportation Security Administration almost as much as I do: in late October, only a few days before a TSAgent was … (read more)

Posted: 26th, November 2013 | In: Key Posts, Reviews, The Consumer | Comment (1)

Save Your Child From A House Fire In Missouri And Get A Tasin’ And A Jailin’

IN case you’re wondering: apparently it is illegal in Missouri to save a toddler from a burning house, and cops will taser you, cuff you and haul you off to … (read more)

Posted: 8th, November 2013 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment (1)

After Pepper Spray Cop University of California Welcomes TSA Groper Janet Napolitano To Molest Students

WHAT’S the monetary value of suffering? In California, they calculate it like this: the suffering you experience when a bored yet out-of-control cop pepper-sprays your face at point-blank range is … (read more)

Posted: 25th, October 2013 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment (1)

Unleashing Police Gunmen On Students: America’s Hot New Educational Fad

IF you missed last week’s “mad gunman terrorizes American schoolchildren” news story, this time out of North Carolina, don’t feel bad; these days they’re common enough that it’s not reasonable … (read more)

Posted: 21st, October 2013 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (6)

Shutdown US Government deems parks and underfed babies less essential than the Congress heated pool and arresting poor blacks with drugs

WHO the hell decides what is and is not “essential”? That’s not a philosophical question about life, the universe and everything; I’m asking specifically about the idiotic “let’s play chicken … (read more)

Posted: 11th, October 2013 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment

Project Drive-In: Possibly pointless renaissance for American drive-ins

ZOD knows there aren’t nearly enough stereotypes about lazy Americans spending too much time in their cars, so it’s a good thing Honda and Sony are sponsoring something called “Project … (read more)

Posted: 4th, October 2013 | In: Film, The Consumer | Comment

Halloween: too much, too soon for our sexy pumpkin fed toddlers

I DON’T know how British people celebrate Halloween—with understated elegance and a solemn appreciation for tradition, no doubt—but future archaeologists will conclude American Halloween was a giant fertility festival, which … (read more)

Posted: 26th, September 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment

Nina Davuluri stars in the second-stupidest racist beauty pageant controversy of the decade

IT’S not every day you think “The Internet’s main problem is that there aren’t enough antiquated old farts posting on it”, but such was my reaction to the idiotic Twitter … (read more)

Posted: 20th, September 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

See the Titanic in Tennessee: A Weekend in Pigeon Forge with Dolly Parton

IF you want to visit America and do the tourist thing, we have majestic natural grandeur coming out of our asses over here, including the Grand Canyon (formerly the longest, … (read more)

Posted: 11th, September 2013 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment

Evolution under attack: Creationist angers Lord God Almighty

THE phrase “creation scientist” is as oxymoronic as “athletic quadriplegic” or “Nazi racial-equality advocate”– if the first part applies to you then the second by definition cannot. And Ken Ham, … (read more)

Posted: 28th, August 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

Alexandra Hill’s murder: More collateral damage in America’s pathetic War on Drugs

TWO-year-old Alexandra Hill is dead because the state of Texas in its infinite wisdom believes “violent foster parents prone to flinging toddlers about like rag dolls” are more suitable caretakers … (read more)

Posted: 10th, August 2013 | In: Reviews | Comments (2)

Michele Catalano: The backpack, the pressure cooker, the cops and the evolution of WTF really happened

PROCRASTINATION is usually a bad habit but occasionally it pays off. Like last week, when the American blogger (and professional writer) Michele Catalano had something terrifying happen to her family: … (read more)

Posted: 5th, August 2013 | In: Reviews, Technology | Comment

The Trayvon Martin verdict: a great chance to pump up your Facebook stats

SOMETHING darkling that’s been simmering on Facebook for a long time now boiled over last weekend, once news broke that George Zimmerman was deemed legally blameless for killing Trayvon Martin. … (read more)

Posted: 17th, July 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

Girl-hating gamer boys: Quit thinking with the Smaller of Your Two Heads

ACCORDING to 1980s pop culture stereotypes, anyone who likes computers is compensating for being a socially clueless nerd who cannot get laid.  Kudos to pop culture for evolving beyond that, … (read more)

Posted: 13th, July 2013 | In: Key Posts, Money, Technology, The Consumer | Comment (1)

The Internet and the old-guard media disagree on the cult of Edward Snowden

THANK Zod for the Internet, especially Twitter, because without them you’d be hard-pressed to know anybody here in America is rooting for poor Edward Snowden these days.

There’s a disturbing divide … (read more)

Posted: 9th, July 2013 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (5)

Robert Samuelson’s Internet repeal

TO quote the philosopher Mick Jagger, “What a drag it is getting old.” Or watching others do the same; the voyage from virility to senility hurts to behold.

Consider the Washington Post, … (read more)

Posted: 4th, July 2013 | In: Key Posts, Technology | Comment (1)