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Mof Gimmers

Mof Gimmers - Author Archive

Chinese student stages her own funeral so she can enjoy it

FUNERALS eh? Not exactly jolly affairs. Everyone blows snot bubbles while bereaving into their handkerchiefs and then they try and forget the misery with drink and anecdotes, before drunkenly crying … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, April 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Man has full back tattoo… of Taggart

WHEN trying to think of the worst or oddest tattoos you’ve ever seen, your mind may make an immediate leap to ill-advised tramp-stamps, dodgy Winnie The Pooh tats that people … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, April 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment

Thief snatches bag before KOing himself with a window (video)

THIEVES aren’t funny if they’re stealing from you, but when they’re removed, bungling idiots, then we can all hoot away to our heart’s content because frankly, they deserve it.

And so, … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, April 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment

Breaking News! Presenter reads out own marriage proposal!

WE’RE very cynical here at The Anorak, but sometimes, we can’t help but succumb to lovely, gooey, niceness and we crumple up, wailing tears of joy all over each other … (read more)

Posted: 28th, March 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment

New horsemeat scandal makes cannibals and dog-eaters of us all

THE horsemeat scandal was particularly troubling, not because we may have all eaten the incredible Mr Ed, but rather, it prompted so many awful jokes that we all wished we’d … (read more)

Posted: 28th, March 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comments (4)

Fiance of My Little Pony character leaves worrying and angry letter

THE level of some people’s love for My Little Pony is beyond parody. In fact, it is downright worrying. If you do a rudimentary search for ‘bronies’, you’ll find enough … (read more)

Posted: 27th, March 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment (1)

How did dinosaurs have sex? With great difficulty

SOME refer to sex as ‘the beast with two backs’ and, if you think about dinosaurs humping, then the saying is quite literal. With horrible spines and spikes, getting off … (read more)

Posted: 26th, March 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment

Golfer Sergio Garcia climbs tree for a one-handed shot from a branch!

GOLF is strange sport which pits man against a small hole and a lot of weather. It provoked King George V to spit “golf always makes me so damned angry!” … (read more)

Posted: 26th, March 2013 | In: Sports | Comment

Nick Knowles built the pyramids

HISTORY, as you know, is a difficult subject, thanks to the sheer breadth of things that have happened. However, certain things have happened in the past that are so wonderful … (read more)

Posted: 25th, March 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment

Danny Boyle: The Olympic spirit is dead

SUMMER seems so long ago now, while we all stand at 45 degree angles in the howling wind, sodden by relentless sheets of dreadful rain. There was a time when … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, March 2013 | In: Sports | Comment

Robbie Williams versus Britpop

REMEMBER when Robbie Williams left Take That and promptly went all ‘indie’ in a bid to be taken seriously while he stuck all manner of drugs up his conk? Well, … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, March 2013 | In: Music, Reviews | Comment (1)

Giant asbestos tarantula found in Welsh attic

WHAT is worse than a tarantula? Finding a giant asbestos tarantula in your attic, which is on the loose and probably laying eggs in your mouth while you’re asleep!

AARGH!

Asbestos specialists Kusten … (read more)

Posted: 21st, March 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment

Sports analysis of man who won’t share ice-cream at the Orlando Magic and Indiana Pacers game

BRITISH sporting coverage is lousy compared to what you can see in the States. There’s no forced boys-club bon homie, instead, you get a dizzying amount of statistics for the … (read more)

Posted: 21st, March 2013 | In: Sports | Comment

Instructions on how to get a girl’s phone number, guaranteed (*video)

LOOK at you. Just sat there, all on your own thinking about the beige food you’ll horse into yourself before you slope away and fumble around in your grotty undercrackers, … (read more)

Posted: 20th, March 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment

Elephant seal uses zebra crossing in Brazil [VIDEO]

ONCE upon a time, mankind was feared by all of the animal kingdom because we were very, very good at killing all beasts for food, clothing and sport. However, we’ve … (read more)

Posted: 20th, March 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Church refuses straight weddings until gay marriage is recognised

RECENTLY in Britain, ‘gay marriage’ became plain old ‘marriage’, but over in America, things aren’t quite as rosy. American’s still love being told what to do by a man from … (read more)

Posted: 19th, March 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment

Crimestoppers release Marijuana scented scratch ‘n’ sniff cards, which will make great roaches

THE war on drugs is an amusing/disturbing one, when you think of a load of policemen harassing a hapless stoner as they make their way through ten packets of Aldi … (read more)

Posted: 19th, March 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

Twitter ‘troll’ apologises to boxer on live TV… and he shouldn’t have

REMEMBER when people knew what the word ‘troll’ meant? Those were glorious days and trolling was an artform, where people could peevishly derail arguments with bizarre logic and playing Devil’s … (read more)

Posted: 18th, March 2013 | In: Sports | Comment

Emma Watson won’t be getting really naked in Fifty Shades of Grey

FIFTY Shades of Grey completely took over the world, giving people the chance to indulge themselves in the darker side of Mills and Boon and revel in some of the … (read more)

Posted: 18th, March 2013 | In: Books, Film, Reviews | Comments (2)

Carly Rae Jepsen gives the finger to the boy scouts of America

WHILE Justin Bieber goes into brattish meltdown mode, saying to everyone that it isn’t fair that people are nasty to him (despite the fact that, while trying to take the … (read more)

Posted: 15th, March 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Red Nose Day: English more tightfisted than Scottish, despite stereotype

YOU’VE heard the jokes about Scottish people being tight fisted. However, ‘throwing his money around like a Scotsman with no arms’ doesn’t hold any water when you discover that it … (read more)

Posted: 15th, March 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment

Fox News celebrates Women History Month with creep shots of their boobs (video)

FOX are, as we all know, completely mental and this week, they’ve outdone themselves while covering Women’s History Month.

Fox CT was reporting on a march in Connecticut, and what did … (read more)

Posted: 14th, March 2013 | In: Reviews | Comments (2)

Dennis Rodman wants to razz the Popemobile around Rome to campaign for black Pontiff

CRAZY ol’ Dennis Rodman has been a busy boy lately. First off, he visited North Korea and gave Kim Jong Un a hug, before The Glorious Leader flew into the sky completing … (read more)

Posted: 13th, March 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Notorious B.I.G. to return to our TV as a cartoon ghost

NINETIES hip-hop is having a huge renaissance currently, mainly because it lends faux-credibility to horribly middle-class people, much like rock ‘n’ roll did in the ’70s. With that, comes a lot … (read more)

Posted: 13th, March 2013 | In: Music | Comment

Marriage proposal hit by massive wave (video)

ROMANCE. It doesn’t work. Kissing in the rain isn’t nice, it’s horrible. Rose petals on a bed? That’s just a load of decaying bits of flower that’ll need hoovering up. … (read more)

Posted: 12th, March 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment

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