Mof Gimmers - Author Archive

Scientists make suit that give you Spidey Sense!

GREETINGS web-slingers! You may look good in lycra and have a boss that shouts at you all the time, but that’s where you and Spiderman’s similarities end… UNTIL NOW!

Clever science … (read more)

Posted: 25th, February 2013 | In: Technology | Comment


Cheerleader Ashlee Arnau slams half-court forward flip shot to the envy of Harlem Globetrotter!

IF you’ve ever tried to play basketball, you’ll know how annoying it is trying to score any kind of basket at all, ever. Stand on the three-point line and watch … (read more)

Posted: 25th, February 2013 | In: Sports | Comment


Man beaten to a bloody pulp with a Furby

FURBIES are so cute aren’t they? NO! They’re horrible! With their nasty little limbs, slowly blinking lifeless eyes, chilling little voices and nippy beaks. There is absolutely nothing pleasant about … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, February 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment


Weatherman passes out in morning TV stunt

AUSTRALIAN weatherman, Grant Denyer, has some interesting ways of reporting on the weather, making Fred Talbot (the less about him the better, presently) look like someone gently frollicking through a … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, February 2013 | In: Reviews, TV & Radio | Comment


Crocodile spotted in River Thames

AGAIN, we find ourselves looking at a world where animals are slowing taking over Earth, presumably so they can enslave us and eventually start wearing us as coats and turning … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, February 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


Cheap pizza in America if you order it with a gun

IF you want cheap products, order them with a massive gun in your hand. Now, most of you will be thinking ‘that’s just robbery, rather than completing a fair transaction!’, … (read more)

Posted: 21st, February 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment


CCTV footage of the Ruislip ghost!

WOOOOOO! A spooky video has emerged online of CCTV footage showing a spectre appearing at a community centre in north-west London!

The video shows a slim figure suddenly appear outside the … (read more)

Posted: 20th, February 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment (1)


Man literally blows up after winning lottery

WINNING the lottery must be beyond any comprehension of what excitement means. One minute, you have all this stuff to do… endless stuff… stuff that goes on and on and … (read more)

Posted: 19th, February 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Manchester City boss Roberto Mancini says he won’t get sacked… which can only mean one thing

BEING a football manager is a lousy job. Perform slightly badly and everyone wants your head on a pole and the media dissects your every thought to see if you’re … (read more)

Posted: 15th, February 2013 | In: Sports | Comment (1)


Is Micky Flanagan going to come and spoil TV Burp?

TV BURP was one of the finest things on television, with Harry Hill and his team managing to make one of the silliest, funniest and most surreal tea-time telly shows … (read more)

Posted: 14th, February 2013 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comment


Guards find phone after prisoner’s anus starts ringing

CRIMINALS can be wily, smart and cunning… but for the most part, they’re very, very thick. We’ve all seen the footage of various burglars making berks of themselves on CCTV, … (read more)

Posted: 12th, February 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Washington Restaurant gives discount for well-behaved kids – you don’t stand a chance

EVEN parents know that children in restaurants are the worst thing on Earth. Noisy, snot-faced infants are worse than teams of drunk rugby players and screaming hen-parties put together. They … (read more)

Posted: 11th, February 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment


Take Me Out: The fall and wardrobe malfunction

YOU bright sparks inevitably didn’t watch Take Me Out on Saturday, preferring to drink claret and read Chaucer or something, followed by a vibrant dinner party of quail eggs and … (read more)

Posted: 11th, February 2013 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Mental whale probably tries to kill humans in canoe (video)

THE latest in our series of ‘The Animals Are Trying To Take Over The World By Killing Us All’ (after badgers collapsing roads, ponies riding on trains and zoo animals … (read more)

Posted: 8th, February 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment


£75,000 raised to build Star Wars Death Star

WITH the news of Disney making a film about a young Han Solo (good move really as Han Solo is a cocky arse, which can only make for thrills and … (read more)

Posted: 8th, February 2013 | In: Film, Strange But True | Comment


Idiots vote for cat’s inclusion in Monopoly

YOU can make a good judgement on a human by viewing which piece they decide to play with in Monopoly. Basically, the rule is this: If they choose the dog, … (read more)

Posted: 7th, February 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment


Japanese want to put undercrackers on naked statues

ARTISTS are all absolute filth aren’t they? Go into any gallery and chances are, you’ll see some boobs or, worse still, a little naked, flying child.

Children themselves are encouraged to … (read more)

Posted: 7th, February 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comments (3)


Criminal investigation starts with Lance Armstrong, but he’ll keep £7.7m

THE problem with Lance Armstrong, now officially a cheat, is that he was tedious. If Armstrong had any discernible personality or was at all eccentric, all this cheating would’ve been … (read more)

Posted: 6th, February 2013 | In: Sports | Comment


CCTV footage of disabled spot being painted around car while parked

GETTING a parking ticket or your car getting towed away is infuriating enough, but imagine if you’d parked legally and someone painted a disabled parking spot AROUND your car and … (read more)

Posted: 6th, February 2013 | In: Reviews | Comments (2)


Count the grammatical errors in Arizona teacher’s letter!

TEACHERS eh? We all know better than those idiots don’t we? We’ve met children and they’re idiots. So teachers have it easy, because they can tell them anything OR they’re … (read more)

Posted: 5th, February 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment


Theme park to be built on Bin Laden’s corpse

WHEN Osama Bin Laden died, the whole of America cheered! The bogeyman had been captured, adding a head for the poles that contained Gadaffi and Saddam! Oh, how America love … (read more)

Posted: 5th, February 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment


LeBron James tackles fan after $75k half-court shot!

AS athletes go, they don’t get much more famous than LeBron James. With that, you’d expect him to be something of a professional bore like you see in the English … (read more)

Posted: 4th, February 2013 | In: Sports | Comment


Mario Balotelli’s agent ‘doesn’t give a f**k’

IN a division so devoid of any character, the departure of Mario Balotelli from the Premier League is a very sad one. Who can football fans look to now? Suarez? … (read more)

Posted: 1st, February 2013 | In: Sports | Comment


Want moobs? Visit Leeds where 59% of men have them

WHEN men get fat, it is perfectly on limits to mock them. Not women. Just men. If you do it to a woman, you’re spiteful and pressuring women to be … (read more)

Posted: 31st, January 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Man unearths £100,000’s worth of whale puke

VOMIT. You might think it is absolutely worthless, but not everyone does. Specifically, we’re talking about whale puke here and no, it isn’t some kind of Norwegian delicacy, but something … (read more)

Posted: 31st, January 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comments (2)


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