Anorak

Mof Gimmers | Anorak - Part 31

Mof Gimmers - Author Archive

Christian LaBella released after alleged assault of Lindsay Lohan

HAW HAW! Lindsay Lohan is always getting into scrapes isn’t she? She’s more famous for T.R.O.U.B.L.E. than she is her career! So what is she up to now? What mirth … (read more)

Posted: 1st, October 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Ke$ha says she’s had sex with a ghost

ANYONE who has seen those leaked photographs of Ke$ha covered in someone’s semen will no doubt have been steadily vomiting for the past year. There’s something so profoundly unlikeable about … (read more)

Posted: 28th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


John Terry: guilty of racially abusing QPR’s Anton Ferdinand in FA hearing

WHAT do you do about racists? Tell them they’re wrong? Well, that doesn’t work because there’s no reasoning with racists. Punch them in the mouth then? Violence and racism pretty … (read more)

Posted: 27th, September 2012 | In: Sports | Comment


Justin Lee Collins and his lover entertain the schoolchildren

REMEMBER when Rufus Hound stole Justin Lee Collins’ entire career from him by being Rent-A-Hirsuite-Wacky-Man? Well, things have got a whole load worse for JLC as he’s being accused of … (read more)

Posted: 27th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Madonna has to point out irony of calling Obama a ‘black Muslim’

IT is a sorry state of affairs when people have to point out when they’re using irony. And Madonna, a notorious sarcastic ol’ thing, has had to do exactly that … (read more)

Posted: 26th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities, Politicians | Comment


Lady GaGa and the fat debate

FOR some inexplicable reason, we’re all supposed to care how much Lady GaGa weighs. Lately, it seems she’s put a bit of weight on and it is remarkable anyone noticed … (read more)

Posted: 26th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)


Chris Brown surprisingly in court again (not that Rihanna cares)

TEAM BREEZY will be having kittens this week, as their sharp knuckled arsehole idol – Chris Brown – is in court again. Y OH Y CARNT DEY JUST PIK ON … (read more)

Posted: 25th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Let us eat badgers (unless you’re Brian May who advocates cannibalism)

MUCH has been howled at in terms of the imminent badger cull. Badgers, you see, are not only pretend cute (cute from afar, tearing your face off and much larger … (read more)

Posted: 25th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)


Show-off Kanye West not so keen on sex-tape release

DESPITE the fact Kanye West’s little yeezy has appeared online already, he’s not so thrilled at the notion of a sex-tape of himself doing the rounds in public. And to … (read more)

Posted: 24th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Pig saves baby goat from drowning while stupid human simply films

OUR world is filled with gloom, soot, feelings of a dreadful apocalypse and utter worthlessness. It’s an appalling situation designed to make us wearily and listlessly slump onto a collective … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, September 2012 | In: Strange But True | Comment


Is anyone going to do anything about racism in Italian football?

SS LAZIO have always been branded as racist or fascist. Not too long ago, Paulo Di Canio gave a straight-arm salute from the Lazio pitch and publicly defended himself by … (read more)

Posted: 21st, September 2012 | In: Sports | Comments (6)


Paris Hilton thinks all gay men have AIDS does she?

WHEN Donna Summer made some dodgy comments about AIDS, her glorious career vanished down the toilet. At least Paris Hilton has no talent of note to waste on the back … (read more)

Posted: 20th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Lindsay Lohan has been arrested, which is a massive surprise!

THE LAPD must be sick of the sight of Lindsay Lohan by now. She’s been arrested so many times that she’s probably got a worn arse-groove on bench at the … (read more)

Posted: 19th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


The Hobbit trailer is here! Sadsacks rejoice!

THE Lord of the Rings trilogy were a lousy bunch of films that were akin to Star Wars, episodes 1-3: The MTV Unplugged version. Bad CGI, too much clunky dialogue … (read more)

Posted: 19th, September 2012 | In: Film | Comment


Adel, and the gnawing predictability of a Bond theme

NEED a Bond theme? Get someone with a big, booming voice, right? Not quite. Nancy Sinatra did the best one and she’s hardly operatic. Either way, these days, it’s all … (read more)

Posted: 18th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Rupert Everett doesn’t like gay dads (nothing to do with awful Britpop group)

THERE may be something of a shitstorm coming Rupert Everett’s way as he’s declared that he “can’t think of anything worse than being brought up by two gay dads”.

Now, of course, … (read more)

Posted: 18th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Manchester home to biggest music thieves in the UK – pirates have awful taste in music

PIRACY of music is still something of a contentious issue. Some say it is theft, some say it isn’t because it doesn’t remove the original, rather, makes a copy. Basically … (read more)

Posted: 17th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Fergie wants end to United and Liverpool’s tasteless chants

THE relationship between Manchester United and Liverpool has always been a tricky one. Like sparring, feuding brothers, a deep rooted respect is often translated to burst noses and enough bickering … (read more)

Posted: 14th, September 2012 | In: Sports | Comment


Rihanna seen kissing Chris Brown at VMAs

LORDY. Rihanna is absolutely determined to be an apologist for Chris Brown. Fine, she wants to forgive him and take a stronger stance than playing the victim or letting the … (read more)

Posted: 7th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Lana Del Rey to quit singing! (With any luck)

LANA DEL REY has always seemed disingenuous, bursting onto the scene on daddy’s money and dragging that long face of hers about the place with her vapid, weedy blub-pop. Well, … (read more)

Posted: 7th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)


What is the cure for asthma? Soup, of course!

MEDICINE is a modern miracle, but everyone knows that soup is better. It may seem odd to compare the two, but the two will now be in direct competition as … (read more)

Posted: 6th, September 2012 | In: Reviews | Comment


Did Tom Cruise turn Nicole Kidman’s children against her?

SCIENTOLOGY may not have destroyed Tom Cruise’s career, but everyone does think he’s weird now. And in fairness to him, he’s been acting very oddly since he leapt around on … (read more)

Posted: 6th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


So, Michael Jackson was a hopeless drunk was he?

EVERYONE pretty much thought of Michael Jackson as a troubled child trapped inside a troubled genius’ body. For a period, he was pretty much untouchable and then, in later life, … (read more)

Posted: 5th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment


Nicki Minaj is voting for Mitt Romney, which he’ll be pleased about

TO paraphrase, the Republican Party aren’t racist, but they are number one with racists. They don’t make many non-Christian white people happy. Over the years, the Republicans have been accused … (read more)

Posted: 5th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong rushed to hospital! He’s going to die! Probably!

GREEN DAY are one of those mystifyingly popular bands that have conquered the world with three chords. Basically, they’re Status Quo with safety pins. However, you can now add ‘mystery … (read more)

Posted: 4th, September 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)