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Mof Gimmers | Anorak - Part 33

Mof Gimmers - Author Archive

Pictures emerge that suggest Chris Brown is gay?

WHEN Frank Ocean declared that he wasn’t straight, there was thunderous applause from all corners. Frank Ocean: Nice guy, super talent and having sex with whoever he feels like. Cool … (read more)

Posted: 8th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Katy Perry defecates in a bucket these days

DIVORCEES often do strange things. Mostly, they’re booze induced. However, Katy Perry tops the lot after her split with Russell Brand.

For some inexplicable reason, Katy Perry has admitted she uses … (read more)

Posted: 8th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Drake and Chris Brown beef is back on, via Aaliyah’s corpse

RAP beefs are numerous, but without a shadow of a doubt, the lamest of them all is the one currently playing out between Drake and Chris Brown. As we know, … (read more)

Posted: 8th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Elton John calls Madonna a ‘fairground stripper’

MADONNA has always had her detractors and, while they are mostly unfair, sadly for Madge, they’re quite often very funny. Morrissey once said that she was the closest thing to … (read more)

Posted: 7th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Ellen Page gets death threats, despite seemingly like the nicest person in Hollywood

YOU’VE seen Juno right? It stars the incredibly likeable Ellen Page who is probably really cool in real life and not at all like those other awful, prissy arses who … (read more)

Posted: 6th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


J-Lo’s boyfriend Casper ‘accidentally’ went into ‘exotic massage parlour’

WE’VE all been there haven’t we? Accidentally finding ourselves in an exotic massage parlour… then an adult bookshop… then in a lingerie store. It happens all the time. And so, … (read more)

Posted: 6th, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Cuba Gooding Jr calls bartender a massive racist… or is he a woman beater?

REMEMBER Cuba Gooding Jr. shouted ‘show me the money!’ at Tom Cruise? Well, now he’s shouting ‘YOU’RE A THUNDEROUS RACIST!’ at a bartender who got him thrown out of a New … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Miley Cyrus: Not dead, but owner of serious sideboob

WHAT a week it has been for Miley Cyrus. Firstly, we got the chance to see her sideboob in a photo that was leaked online showing the mercifully legal singer … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Macaulay Culkin, $6,000 of smack per month and a long thin face

ONCE the adorable little urchin who, somehow, kept being left at home without the intervention of Social Services, Macaulay Culkin was a gigantic banker in ’90s Hollywood. Like all good child-stars, … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)


What’s all this about Janet Jackson slapping Michael’s kid across the face?

NASTY is what Janet Jackson once claimed to be. Mind you, she also sang: “Privacy is my middle name, my last name is control,” which is clearly untrue as she’d … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Chris Brown shows deep interest in Frank Ocean’s sexuality

WHEN Frank Ocean didn’t reveal he was gay to the world (the implication, to people who actually digested his words was that he’s bisexual, but no-one was listening properly, preferring … (read more)

Posted: 1st, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Professor Green shows gasping lack of wisdom on eating disorders and infidelity

GRANTED, we may be asking a bit much of Professor Green to be anything approaching intelligent. It is probably asking a bit much to hope that he makes a record … (read more)

Posted: 31st, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Gilllian Anderson is not 100% gay, okay?

THIRTYSOMETHING men may have lusted after Scully from X Files, but it seems that women should’ve too because Gillian Anderson has had relationships with the fairer sex. Of course, this … (read more)

Posted: 31st, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Demi Moore, reeling from the break-up with Ashton Kutcher, spotted with younger man (well duh)

WITH Ashton Kutcher (astonishingly) rumoured to be getting off with Mila Kunis, Demi Moore has apparently been left devastated. And so, there’s only one thing she can feasibly do – … (read more)

Posted: 30th, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Robert Pattinson demanded public apology as he feels emotion for the first time in his life

CRUSHINGLY tedious Robert Pattinson has spent his life in much the same way plankton has, silently floating through life with all the charisma of a bin bag, gently knocked side-to-side by … (read more)

Posted: 27th, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Kristen Stewart cheats on Robert Pattinson with ancient married filmmaker?

TWILIGHT fans are an insane bunch, throwing every single emotion they have in the direction of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson.

And today, they’ll be all of a tizz when they hear … (read more)

Posted: 25th, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Eddie Murphy: Still not dead

JACKIE Chan, Vanilla Ice, Miley Cyrus, David Beckham, Jon Bon Jovi, Lady GaGa and Will Smith all have something in common with Eddie Murphy.

They’re not dead.

Now, you might be thinking that … (read more)

Posted: 25th, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)


Ashton Kutcher: The swordsman of beautiful women, despite being thoroughly repugnant

HOLLYWOOD women clearly have no taste in men. No-one underlines this more than Ashton Kutcher, who has unfathomably had his member in the close proximity of a number of beautiful, … (read more)

Posted: 24th, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Girls Aloud to reform at the behest of Her Majesty

NOVEMBER 2012 will be the tenth anniversary of Girls Aloud winning Popstars: The Rivals. A decade ago, Cheryl, Kimberley, Nadine, Nicola and Sarah erupted onto the pop scene and became just … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Plan B: Accidental racist

CROCS. Mullets. Socks and sandals. Global Hypercolor knickers. They’re all pretty bad fashion faux-pas, but none really compare to one Plan B made, which made him look like a massive … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Spinal Tap actor arrest for ‘lewd act’ in cinema

COMEDY is teeming with unsung heroes and, one of the best is Fred Willard. You’ll recognise him from Spinal Tap, Everybody Loves Raymond, WALL-E, Best In Show, Modern Family and … (read more)

Posted: 20th, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Meatloaf to sue Meatloaf tribute act (because the tribute is better?)

MEATLOAF is one of pop’s more peculiar superstars, treading the line between ‘awful rock’ and ‘awful opera’ with a variety of awful concept albums and a tremendous waistline. He’s sold … (read more)

Posted: 20th, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Tom Cruise, already engaged to another woman?

IS Tom Cruise the Jesus of Scientology or something? The Force is strong in this one and he seems fast-tracked to the top of the Thetan pile for some reason. … (read more)

Posted: 20th, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Halle Berry rushed to hospital, possibly for lack of ability

THRNNNNK! That could well have been the noise made by Halle Berry’s bones as she injured herself while on the set of The Hive. That’s right. Berry was involved in … (read more)

Posted: 18th, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)


Nephew blames Sylvester Stallone for son’s death – Edd Filiti gets famous

SYLVESTER Stallone’s son, Sage, was found dead in his LA home over the weekend and, like the death of anyone young, it’s thoroughly depressing. However, when it concerns a famous … (read more)

Posted: 17th, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)