Anorak

Mof Gimmers | Anorak - Part 40

Mof Gimmers - Author Archive

Robert Pattinson quits Twilight franchise (Berlin photos)

TWEENS! Prepare to cry all the water out of your body. Why? Robert Pattinson – officially the dullest human on the face of this Earth – is not going to … (read more)

Posted: 20th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)


People want compensating for Whitney Houston’s death

WHEN Whitney Houston died, everyone was hit by it. The fans mourned. Pop fans were plain ol’ shocked. Everyone was annoyed that everyone was talking about her, suspicious that everyone … (read more)

Posted: 20th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)


Livestream of Whitney Houston’s star-studded Funeral irks fans

THE funeral of Whitney Houston will be streamed live on the internet for all to see. The basic premise is that people who wouldn’t normally get the chance to grieve … (read more)

Posted: 17th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Rumer Willis now denying that Demi Moore is ‘fine’

SHE’S looked like a woman on the ropes for a while, so it wasn’t exactly a surprise when Demi Moore was taken to hospital. Everyone assumed it was a mixture … (read more)

Posted: 16th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Chris Brown says sorry to everyone by telling the whole world to ‘F*** Off!’

WHY is Chris Brown getting so beaten up by the press? It’s because he beat Rihanna up and it was gruesome. Of course, we’re sensitive people who are willing to … (read more)

Posted: 15th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Justin Bieber sets up the jokes and no-one can see them through

OKAY. We all know the jokes that need to be made about Justin Bieber. He’s young, so we can make jokes about him being underdeveloped and not having his own … (read more)

Posted: 14th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Whitney Houston had sedatives in her system and eyes turn to ‘secret son’ Nicholas Gordon

LIKE it or not, Whitney Houston wasn’t just any old celebrity. She was in the Jimi Hendrix/John Lennon/Marvin Gaye calibre of talent. Her voice, as an instrument, rivaled Coltrane or … (read more)

Posted: 14th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Chris Brown’s beating of Rihanna, the day after he wins a Grammy

POP-CULTURE warps our view of people. Roman Polanski can rape a young girl, yet Hollywood defends him. R Kelly can be accused of all manner of depraved things, and he … (read more)

Posted: 13th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)


Madonna’s insane stalker Robert Dewey Hoskins, now captured (sadly)

THERE’S nothing more that makes us scribes tick than some ginormous tragedy. When everything is glad and cheery, it is deemed a ‘quiet news day’. And so, regrettably, we have … (read more)

Posted: 13th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Naomi Watts to star in car crash biopic of Lady Di

SHE was the Queen Of Some Of Our Hearts! That’s right – Princess Diana or Lady Di – was a much loved woman, despite the fact she’d dole out doe-eyed … (read more)

Posted: 10th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Madonna’s psychotic stalker escapes into the wild

MADONNA has timed her comeback to perfection. GaGa is readying new songs, Beyonce is being a mother and everyone is sick to death of Rihanna. Also timing a comeback well … (read more)

Posted: 10th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)


Adele talks about the curtain in her throat

ADELE is, like it or not, the biggest popstar on the planet. And yes, we intentionally left the door wide open for you to make your own jokes about that … (read more)

Posted: 9th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)


Lana Del Rey: living on hate and daddy’s hand-outs

HAVE you ever heard a cow giving birth? It’s a horrible, guttural, depressing noise. So to, is the appalling singing voice of Latest Hot Thang, Lana Del Rey, who has … (read more)

Posted: 9th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Jay Z and Beyonce try to trademark their own daughter Blue Ivy

WHAT is the nicest thing your parents have ever done for you? Did they buy you that mountain bike you always asked for? Did they pay you through university, where … (read more)

Posted: 8th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Ellen takes on Prop8 and One Million Moms

AMERICA has some funny ideas about gay people. For some reason, the Christian community has a surprisingly unhealthy interest about which orifice is receiving what. It appears that, if you … (read more)

Posted: 8th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Karl Lagerfeld points out obvious by saying Adele is a bit ‘fat’

PEOPLE in the fashion industry are obsessed with image. That’s their job. So when Karl Lagerfeld, while guest editing for Metro Paris, took it upon himself to note that Adele is … (read more)

Posted: 7th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (6)


Harry Potter hates the Lib Dems and wants to pay loads of tax

WE live in a world where we look to fictional wizards for political guidance, such is the rousing failure of our politicians to engage us all. And so, with baited … (read more)

Posted: 6th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Russell Brand and Zooey Deschanel to become deeply unlikeable couple?

YOU may think Russell Brand or, indeed, Zooey Deschanel, is attractive enough to warrant a lustful thought. However, once you stop staring at their collective bone-structures and actually listen to … (read more)

Posted: 6th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Madonna previews new track ahead of Super Bowl 2012!

MADONNA, who simultaneously is quite fit, yet somehow turning into Iggy Pop, is readying herself for the huge Super Bowl halftime show. Last year, 111 million tuned in. The Black … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Lindsay Lohan wants to sue those who say she’s any kind of fun

WE’VE long lamented the fact that Lindsay Lohan isn’t the bug-eyed  jewel stealing party girl she once was and now, anyone who says she is in print is going to … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Did Angelina Jolie admit to cheating on Brad Pitt?!

SOME of you women would love ten minutes alone with Brad Pitt. He’s a real dreamboat isn’t he? One of those ‘real men’ ones that has a bit of facial … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, February 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Authorities to release jolly 911 recording of Demi Moore

DESPITE  the fact it goes without saying, that Demi Moore was in a state of high distress when she called for the emergency services to come take her to hospital, … (read more)

Posted: 27th, January 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (13)


Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale – Next stop, Splitsville!

EVERYONE kinda fancies Gwen Stefani don’t they? Even though she’s got a weird nose and makes pretty awful music. She’s definitely gone from annoying alt.rock gal to bona fide pin-up. … (read more)

Posted: 26th, January 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Lindsay Lohan: Sued Again By Woman With Fantastic Name – Nubia Del Carmen Preza

YESSIR! Lindsay Lohan is definitely back on form! After being in trouble with the law more times than every criminal in the history of our awful species put together, it … (read more)

Posted: 26th, January 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Demi Moore goes to hospital to find cure for ‘exhaustion’ (or, if you prefer, ‘substance abuse’)

SINCE Demi Moore got with Ashton Kutcher, her life has been pretty rubbish. She’s leaked her boobs on Twitter and become increasingly thin while Kutch gallivanted around inside young women … (read more)

Posted: 25th, January 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment