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Mof Gimmers | Anorak - Part 51

Mof Gimmers - Author Archive

Rihanna ‘Gropes’ Underage Fan And Parent Goes Mental: Photos

RIHANNA was once a really enjoyable pop-star. Now, she’s a controversy-machine, continually setting out to shock people without letting up, leaving everyone a little tired of the whole thing thanks … (read more)

Posted: 10th, June 2011 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comment


Kim Kardashian Had An ‘Affair’ With Someone You Haven’t Heard Of: Launches Perfume

MYSTIFYINGLY famous Kim Kardashian (she’s the Kardashian sister who had a sex tape online if you can’t tell them apart) is getting married soon, which is obviously wonderful news for … (read more)

Posted: 9th, June 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Carol Voderman Wins Rear Of The Year Ahead Of Pippa Middleton’s All Encompassing Bum

DEBT selling number cruncher and policy-advertiser Carol Vorderman has won Rear Of The Year.

The odd thing about this vote is that pretty much no-one has mentioned Voderman since her carcrash … (read more)

Posted: 8th, June 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Simon Cowell Vomited Into His Hand At Ronan Parke Fix Claims

EMOTIONLESS Simon Cowell may seem, but there’s nothing wrong with his gut, as he produced enough bile to feel physically ill as claims of ‘FIX’ swirled around him concerning warbling … (read more)

Posted: 8th, June 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Noel Gallagher Wants Liam To Come And Ruin A Perfectly Good Wedding

WARRING siblings, Liam and Noel Gallagher, haven’t seen eye-to-beady-eye since they collectively knocked Oasis on the head. A welcome relief for anyone with ears and at least one brain cell.

And … (read more)

Posted: 7th, June 2011 | In: Music | Comment


Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Wife Laughs, Then Probably Cries, In The Face Of Reconciliation

BICEP brained Arnold Schwarzenegger is probably sat somewhere on his own right now, silently weeping over photographs of his family that he destroyed when he forgot to put a condom … (read more)

Posted: 7th, June 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Bird Of Prey Cloner Jessie J Wishes That The Press Would Stop Making Things Up About Her And Her 60ft Long Chin Made From Bricks

YOU have to be rather impressed with Jessie J’s career thus far. She’s managed to cram and entire pop lifespan into a matter of months, already suffering from a gaping … (read more)

Posted: 6th, June 2011 | In: Music | Comment


Wayne Rooney: The X Factor Judge

ANYONE could be a judge on Britain’s Got Talent or the X Factor. The judges aren’t chosen for their knowledge in talent or music (if that were the case, do … (read more)

Posted: 6th, June 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Pink Has A Baby Girl On Twitter: Willow Sage Hart Photos

PINK has always defined herself by what she’s isn’t. She’s not some stupid girl, she’s not shallow, she’s not like ‘them’, she’s ‘fragile’, she’s… well… incredibly ordinary if the truth … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, June 2011 | In: Music | Comments (18)


Rihanna Shoots A Rapist Dead

POP music has always traded on sex and shock to shift units. Elvis Presley used to gyrate like a man in the bath with a two-bar heater and Madonna made … (read more)

Posted: 1st, June 2011 | In: Music | Comment


Teen Singing ‘Throb, Sean Kingston, Critical After Tackling Bridge On Jetski With Head

ADULTS may not be familiar with the name Sean Kingston, but the rampant childbots of the internet are. They love him. They love him a bit like they love Justin … (read more)

Posted: 31st, May 2011 | In: Music | Comment


LeAnn Rimes Shows Off Her Incredibly Thin Body: Dogs Salivate

LEANN Rimes doesn’t just spell her name wrong and make really irritating country-pop while encouraging coal-eyed simpletons to dance atop the bars of the world, shortly before having their stomachs … (read more)

Posted: 31st, May 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Amy Winehouse Goes Back To Rehab – Again

REMEMBER the days when Amy Winehouse was famous for being a reasonably exciting singer? Alas, since then, she’s disappeared down a booze hole, leaving her career wide open for lesser … (read more)

Posted: 27th, May 2011 | In: Music | Comment


Courtney Love Slags Lady GaGa Without A Trace Of Irony

SOME of you might think that Courtney Love is in no position to slate anyone else for anything, ever. And you’d be right because, of all the people in the … (read more)

Posted: 27th, May 2011 | In: Music | Comment


Justin Bieber Makes Terrifying Pest Perfume

JUSTIN Bieber may well be a matter of seconds old, but that doesn’t stop him from creaming every last penny out of the world’s prepubescent girls.

He’s launched a range of … (read more)

Posted: 25th, May 2011 | In: Music | Comment


Imogen Thomas Interview: Ryan Giggs Cost Her £100,000 And Her Hair

RYAN Giggs. Ryan Giggs Ryan Giggs Ryan Giggs Ryan Giggs Ryan Giggs Ryan Giggs Ryan Giggs Ryan Giggs Ryan Giggs Ryan Giggs Ryan Giggs Ryan Giggs Ryan Giggs Ryan Giggs. … (read more)

Posted: 24th, May 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)


Jedward To Team Up With Aerosmith, Which Is Completely Fine

JEDWARD are in grave danger of having their credibility ruined by teaming up with ageing rock testicles, Aerosmith. Well kinda. Not the whole of Aerosmith, but mainman, Steven Tyler, who … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, May 2011 | In: Music | Comment


Quite Obvious Former Smackhead, Bob Dylan, Admits He Used To Take Heroin

TAKE one look at Bob Dylan – who just happens to be celebrating his 70th birthday tomorrow, despite looking and sounding like a 70 year old since around 1964 – … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, May 2011 | In: Music | Comments (3)


Peter Andre Won’t Be Dating You Famous Women, So You Can Breathe Easy

DESPITE barely registering on most people’s scale of celebrity, Peter Andre has an almost charming delusion that he’s a big deal. He takes his music very seriously (no, honestly he … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, May 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment


The Tale Of Jane Fonda, Her $55k False Teeth And Her Sex Life

WHEN you think of Jane Fonda, you may well think about her as an actress or fitness instructor or, indeed, something of a political activist (probably the coolest looking political … (read more)

Posted: 20th, May 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)


Read This And Complain About Glee Spoilers As We Tell You Who Dies In It

SPOILER ALERT! Hello Gleeks. Still getting over the news that your stupid favourite programme won’t be shown on free-to-air television anymore? You didn’t hear about it? You were probably buried … (read more)

Posted: 19th, May 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Snoop Dogg Wants Hip Hop X Factor

WHILE The X Factor appears to be set to take over the world, everyone else looks on wondering if they should cut their ears off with shears or, indeed, invent … (read more)

Posted: 18th, May 2011 | In: Music | Comment


Has Cheryl Cole Had A Boob Job Or Just Bought A New Bra?

CHERYL Cole is the talk of Hollywood… or, more accurately, because she’s gone to America, she’s the talk of Britain where we’ve heard of her before and eagerly await her … (read more)

Posted: 18th, May 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (6)


Imogen Thomas: Blackmailer Or Not?

THIS writer has been warned away from a number of stories thanks to the ubiquitous super injunction. Kinda irritating when you meet the celebrity in question and have to stand … (read more)

Posted: 17th, May 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Is Cheryl Cole Dating Steve Jones In Moist Publicity Stunt?

SINCE Cheryl Cole split with that dastardly greed-monger, Ashley Cole, she’s been somewhat billed as some kind of forlorn, sexless damsel, just looking for anyone, ANYONE to make her happy.

Of … (read more)

Posted: 17th, May 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment