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Mof Gimmers - Author Archive

Charlie Sheen Not Happy About Ashton Kutcher Replacing Him, Which Is A Massive Surprise

REMEMBER us telling you that Ashton Kutcher was to replace Charlie Sheen on Two And A Half Men? Do you recall that rising tide of ambivalence toward the whole story … (read more)

Posted: 16th, May 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

N-Dubz Tulisa To Take Dannii Minogue’s Place On X Factor

BRITAIN at large is transformed when The X Factor rolls into town. Basically, the whole country is carved up into two camps – those that hate the show and those … (read more)

Posted: 16th, May 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment

Charlie Sheen To Be Replaced By Ashton Kutcher To Make Two And A Half Men Most Loathesome Sitcom Ever

YOU may have thought that Two and a Half Men was pretty irritating when Charlie Sheen was in it. It was remarkable that Sheen somehow managed to become even more … (read more)

Posted: 13th, May 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment (1)

Quentin Tarantino And Lady GaGa To Team Up For A Movie?

SEEING as Quentin Tarantino allowed Lady GaGa to use the Kill Bill Pussywagon in the singer’s promotional video for Telephone, it isn’t surprising that the film director is looking at … (read more)

Posted: 12th, May 2011 | In: Film | Comment

Dan Aykroyd Has 21,000 Bottles Of Vodka Stolen From Him

POOR old Dan Aykroyd. He’s currently mourning the loss of 21,000 bottles of vodka stolen from him. He was, apparently, planning on drinking them this weekend as well.

Of course, these … (read more)

Posted: 12th, May 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Lindsay Lohan: No Contest Plea Over Tacky But Expensive Necklace

EVEN though she dressed like an Italian prostitute in court, spent years making everyone jealous by being stinkin’ rich and having sex with all manner of men and women, while … (read more)

Posted: 11th, May 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

There’s Nothing Cynical About JLS Wanting To Collaborate With Gwyneth Paltrow

BACKFLIPPING saccharine irritants and tepid pop dispensers, JLS, want to collaborate with Gwyneth Paltrow. Why? It might have something to do with the fact that she’s very famous, recently decided … (read more)

Posted: 11th, May 2011 | In: Music | Comment

Whitney Houston Totters Off To Rehab While Prince Scowls At Her

GLASSY-EYED pop diva, Whitney Houston, is not  having a good time of it at the moment. Or rather, perhaps she’s having too much of a good time and it has … (read more)

Posted: 10th, May 2011 | In: Music | Comment

Some Idiot Decides To Give Bristol Palin Her Own TV Show

PRANCING politician offspring, Bristol Palin, is to get her own reality television show in the United States of America. That’s right. That bizarre collection of country-sized states are seemingly hell-bent … (read more)

Posted: 10th, May 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Robert Pattinson Wants To Bother Everyone With His Awful Singing

PERPETUAL bore and Twilight death-hunk Robert Pattinson has said he wants to reignite his music career. Did you not know he had a music career? Yes! He totally bought an … (read more)

Posted: 9th, May 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)

Brigitte Bardot Mourns Suicide Ex Husband

REMEMBER when Brigitte Bardot was nothing more than a brilliant nymph who didn’t care much for wearing clothes and ached of Gallic cool? Remember those days? The days before she … (read more)

Posted: 9th, May 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Lea Michele Thinks Her Nose Will Take Lead Role In Glee Movie

HEY everyone! There’s going to be a Glee movie out this summer! How amazing is that? Not very? Well aren’t you a bunch of spoilsports?! In fairness, you’re spoilsports that … (read more)

Posted: 6th, May 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment

Blake Sheldon Totally Doesn’t Hate The Gays

COUNTRY superstar, Blake Sheldon, has been accused of being a stinkin’ homophobe. Of course, what with him being a country and western singer, roughly 99.7% won’t be at all surprised … (read more)

Posted: 6th, May 2011 | In: Music | Comment

Cheryl Cole Confirmed As US X Factor Judge (With Added Subtitles)

POP-CULTURE mogul, Simon Cowell, really does have the softest of spots of Cheryl Cole. Apart from the boring ‘she works really hard and does as she’s told’ likelihood of favour, … (read more)

Posted: 5th, May 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comment

Mel Gibson’s Ex Is Now Saying That He Didn’t Domestic Violence Her One On The Face

LAST seen with a stuffed beaver sewn to his hand, Mel Gibson has had a troublesome year or so, facing allegations of being a anti-Semite, accusations of being a racist … (read more)

Posted: 5th, May 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Lady GaGa Bans Ice Cubes And Eats Like A Dullard

SOMETIMES it feels like Lady GaGa single handedly revived pop. With that, it is fair to say she’s the current queen of pop culture, which gives her the chance to … (read more)

Posted: 4th, May 2011 | In: Music | Comment

Public Enemy’s Flava Flav Arrested By “Rookie Ass Cop”

IT isn’t unusual to hear news of a rapper getting arrested. In fact, its such a frequent occurrence that some think there’s something of a police conspiracy against wealthy black … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, May 2011 | In: Music | Comment

Mariah Carey Wants Everyone To Guess Her Twins Names

MARIAH Carey is, of course, more mental than a tree filled with talking toasters. She became pregnant with twins, which left the universe considering implosion briefly. Could the human race … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, May 2011 | In: Music | Comments (3)

Katie Holmes Settles With Rag That Accused Her Of Being A Druggie

JUST because Katie Holmes married Scientology poster-boy Tom Cruise, it doesn’t mean she’s on drugs. The taking of drugs explains a lot of erratic behaviour, but Katie is keen to … (read more)

Posted: 29th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Paris Hilton And Boyfriend Attacked By Nut Job

PARIS Hilton, a woman of no fixed talent, is doing rather well on the stalker front. In fact, one of them is so keen on her that he keeps punching … (read more)

Posted: 28th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Steven Tyler Took American Idol Job To Irritate Aerosmith Bandmates

RUBBER duck faced, No Frills Mick Jagger – Steven Tyler – has been talking about his decision to take the American Idol gig. It seemed a strange decision to stick … (read more)

Posted: 27th, April 2011 | In: Music | Comment (1)

Nigella Lawson Will Not Be Losing Any Weight Anytime Soon, Okay?

WOMEN! Are you ‘curvy’? That’s cool. Curves are all well and good. Unless, of course, you’re one of those hideous simpletons who consider ‘curvy’ women to be ‘real’, therefore rendering … (read more)

Posted: 26th, April 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Lady GaGa Didn’t Mean ‘Retard’ Like That, She Meant It The Other Way

UH-OH! Lady Gaga is in trouble again! Why? Has she been wearing meat again, making vegetarians puke? Nope. Has she been living inside a hot water bottle made from tinfoil … (read more)

Posted: 21st, April 2011 | In: Music | Comment

Morrissey Talks About David Cameron, Like You Care

MORRISSEY, rock’s longest face, has refuted claims that he banned suet faced Prime Minister David Cameron from his dressing room at a concert.

The fact is, Mozza probably didn’t have to … (read more)

Posted: 21st, April 2011 | In: Music | Comment

Stalkers Set To Really Enjoy The Wedding Of Prince William And Kate Middleton

HURRAY! There’s a Royal Wedding! Of course, every single Briton absolutely adores those deserving, clueless, blueblooded lizard men!

Naturally, there are those who don’t really like the Royal Family, but you … (read more)

Posted: 21st, April 2011 | In: Royal Family | Comment

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