Dolly-ed Up

CAN you reuse body parts? Sure, you can transplant organs, but what about the other bits? Anorak once took a trip to a crematorium and having been given the tour … (read more)

Posted: 17th, November 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

Footing The Bill

Footing The Bill Imelda Marcos, the wife of Ferdinand Marcos, the former President of the Philippines who embezzled an estimated £5billion, is to sell off her infamous collection of shoes. … (read more)

Posted: 17th, November 2006 | In: Royal Family | Comment

War With The Birds

"THEY’RE coming! They’re coming!" The birds are coming. And they will surely do for us all. The Sun announces: “MUTANT FLU – Bird virus ‘will kill 50 million’”. The 60 … (read more)

Posted: 16th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Mike Tyson For Hire

“TYSON THE RENT BOY.” The Star wafts its front-page headline beneath its readers’ noses like a vial of smelling salts. The news is that Mike Tyson is for hire. The … (read more)

Posted: 16th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

EastEnders Plot Found

PSST! Wanna know what happens next in EastEnders? The Sun says Jonathan Ross’s mum, “veteran extra” Martha Ross, knows. And she has leaked the “top secret” storyline. Martha has told … (read more)

Posted: 16th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)

Gran Theft

STOP thief! They went that way. What did they look like? Well, one of them was wearing a plastic hood. The other one had blue hair. The Mirror’s front page … (read more)

Posted: 16th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Pete Doherty & Liam Gallagher’s Big Idea

PETE Doherty and Liam Gallagher are planning to open a pub. The Star says it is sure that at the venue “there will be Cigarettes and Alcohol all round”. This … (read more)

Posted: 15th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Sparrowhawks Of War

GOOD news for Brian’s Zoroastrian community. Vultures have been sighted in Norfolk, Snowdonia, Bodmin Moor in Cornwall and London. Zoroastrians, who place dead bodies on a dokhma (Tower of Silence) … (read more)

Posted: 15th, November 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

No Escapism

From the BBC, Telegraph and many other papers, comes the news that some prisoners have settled out of court after being forced to go ‘cold turkey’ in prison, which they … (read more)

Posted: 15th, November 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

Omar Bakri, To Be Sure?

LEBANON calling, Lebanon calling. Come in Britain. Do you read me Tottenham? It’s Omar Bakri, the nation’s favourite mad mullah, they man in the wiry beard, oversized NHS bins and … (read more)

Posted: 15th, November 2006 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Michael Jackson’s No Dummy

“AGE has not yet caught up with Michael Jackson,” says the Mail. “Cosmetic surgery unfortunately has.” As ever, readers are treated to a shot of Jackson’s face. And it is … (read more)

Posted: 15th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Posh’s Chip Shape

WHO is Sarah Harding? Why, she is a singer in the popular reality-TV-made cabaret act Girls Aloud. There’s blonde Sarah wearing a leopard-print dress at the royal gala performance of … (read more)

Posted: 15th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Who Wants To Hug A Millionaire?

“THE night Chris Tarrant learned to laugh again.” It’s the Mail’s front-page news. And reading on we learn that the presenter has been to a charity bash. Tarrant is no … (read more)

Posted: 14th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Tom Cruise’s Collateral Damage

WHAT’S that buzz you hear? No, it’s not the noise of Tom Cruise’s spaceship preparing for lift off. Nor is it the sound of Tom calling Armani and demanding to … (read more)

Posted: 14th, November 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

Nursery State

“POSTMAN Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat and his black and white cat/ Early in the evening/ Just as the pub is opening/ He picks up all the post bags in … (read more)

Posted: 14th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Britain’s Golden Melting Pot

“COME TO BRITAIN AND GET RICH,” advertises the front page of the Express. On the face of it, this is no little change of direction for the paper that has … (read more)

Posted: 14th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Tony’s Road To Damascus

MORE on Tony Blair’s place in history now as the Times brings news of his speech last night to the Lord Mayor’s banquet at Guildhall. “Iran and Syria can be … (read more)

Posted: 14th, November 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Sienna Miller Time

Golden Balls A ball signed by the World Cup winning Italy team was bought at a charity auction in Qatar for £1.26million. The winning bid was made by Qatar royal … (read more)

Posted: 14th, November 2006 | In: Royal Family | Comment