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David Banda Leaves

DAVID Banda has gone. But before we scour the streets and gin houses of old London Town for news of Davie Twist, the Mirror announces: “DAVID ON TOUR.” Davie has … (read more)

Posted: 30th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Butterflies All Round

FOR many of us the journey to the altar begins at the country hotel well-served by local transport links. But for Michelle Heaton and Andy Scott-Lee it began in some … (read more)

Posted: 27th, October 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

Linda McCartney’s Back

YOU’VE heard from Cilla Black, Rod Stewart, Billie Piper and Kate Moss – now listen up as Linda McCartney wades into the McCartney-Mills divorce. Until now this divorce, however sensational, … (read more)

Posted: 27th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)

Naomi Campbell Takes On Heather Mills

“IT’S NUTTA versus MUCCA,” says the Sun’s headline above pictures of Naomi Campbell and Heather Mills, respectively. “Who is the biggest bitch on the planet…Naomi or Heather?” We always thought … (read more)

Posted: 27th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Hasselhoff’s Turd

FORGET Paul McCartney versus Heather Mills. If you want to see a marriage really implode, you have to travel back to the time of Henry VIII, or to modern day … (read more)

Posted: 27th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)

Oz & Them

“IF you take out uncovered meat and place it outside on the street, or in the garden or in the park…and the cats come and eat it…whose fault is it? … (read more)

Posted: 27th, October 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

In Da Ghetto

WE’VE discussed the problems of inner city deprivation before: South Central LA, Tower Hamlets or the “banlieus” of Paris have all seared themselves upon our collective consciousness. This week though, … (read more)

Posted: 27th, October 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

Adopt A Madonna

ANORAK’S plan to adopt Madonna is progressing well. The American is adapting to life in London and she is beginning to consider herself part of the family. But, sad to … (read more)

Posted: 27th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Crewel Luck

“THE role of the modern Member of Parliament has changed a great deal in recent years,” says Greg Barker, MP for Bexhill and Battle, on his website. He goes on … (read more)

Posted: 26th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

People Are Strange

“WAS I the only one who felt a shiver down my spine when teaching assistant Aisha Azmi appeared on TV in her full face veil to rail against the decision … (read more)

Posted: 26th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Rod Stewart Wallops McCartney

HAVING secured the support of Cilla Black, actor Victor Spinetti and Kate Moss, the Star brings news that other are lining up to stand by Paul McCartney.
“WALLOP HER!” says the … (read more)

Posted: 26th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Falling Flat

“PETER Foster seized in Fiji in his trunks,” announces the Telegraph. This is Peter Foster, the man the Times says was “barred from Britain over the ‘Cheriegate affair”. The Peter … (read more)

Posted: 26th, October 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Madonna’s An EastEnder

IS Madonna the new Carol Jackson, the former EastEnders character, mother to a brood of which no two have the same father? Whatever the singer’s ambition, the Mirror leads with … (read more)

Posted: 26th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Heather’s Sprung

WHEN it comes to the divorce of Paul McCartney and Heather Mills, everyone has something to say. Here’s Victor Spinetti, billed in the Mail as a veteran actor, who appeared … (read more)

Posted: 25th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Go Holmes

“TOM AND KATIE’S SECRET WEDDING,” announces the front page of the Express. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes will marry, in secret, on November 18. They will marry in Italy. Although … (read more)

Posted: 25th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Top Bloke

IT’S a Richard Hammond exclusive. Today Richard is on the front page of the Mirror. He’s got a big smile on his face and a sparkle in his eyes. His … (read more)

Posted: 25th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Another Shambles

WHILE Kate Moss is talking about Heather Mills to Stella McCartney, her lover, Pete Doherty, is making front-page news. “IT’S BEAT DOHERTY,” says the Star’s cover page. And there’s a … (read more)

Posted: 25th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Bakri’s Dirty Dozen

“GOT anything for me, son?” asks Omar Bakri, his sun-bleached beard bristling in the warm breeze, his lavender-tinted glasses catching the ray’s of the early morning sun as it rises … (read more)

Posted: 25th, October 2006 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Davie Banda – The Oprah

RIGHTLY proud to have got her figure back after having a new child, Madonna is to go on the Oprah Winfrey show to tell all. Oprah’s sofa has been the … (read more)

Posted: 24th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Richard Hammond’s Pole Dance

WE were going to tell you about Richard Hammond. Today is “THE WIFE’S STORY”, and it takes up a large chunk of the Mirror’s news, front page and all. And … (read more)

Posted: 24th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Wayne’s Parade

WAYNE Rooney’s 21st birthday party promises to be quite some thing. In readiness for the do, the Sun notes that Wayne’s whale-voiced lover Coleen McLoughlin has been out shopping. “LOOK … (read more)

Posted: 24th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Cameron’s Going Grey

ISN’T there something risky about spending too much time wooing the grey vote? We live longer than ever before, but the elderly are closer to the end than the beginning … (read more)

Posted: 24th, October 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Bad To The Marylebone

WHEN Pete Doherty and Kate Moss marry and set up home together, one of their showbiz chums should get them a home therapy centre, accessed by 12 big steps. In … (read more)

Posted: 24th, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Bra Wars

It was the battle of the bras. The Brighton Ball would pit the 36B bra of Lorraine Kelly against the 34FF cantilevered system of hydraulics and weights worn by Jordan. … (read more)

Posted: 24th, October 2006 | In: Royal Family | Comment

Richard Hammond’s Horror

WHEN Richard Hammond attempted to drive from Elvington airfield, near York, to Australia the hard way, the papers looked on with furrowed brows. Would Richard make it? Would Top Gear, … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, October 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

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