Anorak

| Anorak - Part 17

- Author Archive

Bottle Of (Top) Gear

“YOU’RE A *!@X DRIVER – Clarkson’s hospital gag gets Hammond smiling,” says the Sun’s front page. And we too smile. Cancel the minute’s silence. And call off the synchronised mass … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, September 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


The Hummer Of Change

THE daily battle between man and nature is all around. And nature is winning. In the UK, the fight can be symbolised by the Mirror’s front page picture of Richard … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, September 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Mush & Bush

AFTER Ashley Cole’s laugh-a-line humour book, the Times leads with news of another notable’s tome to be serialised in the paper. “‘We’ll bomb you to Stone Age, US told Pakistan’,” … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, September 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Robbie Williams’ Therapy

ROBBIE Williams should go back to rehab. This is not the opinion of Anorak but of the Star’s “double award winning” Joe Mott. “Today I issue a plea to Robbie … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, September 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Madonna’s Too Tokyo Hyatt

HOLD UP, what’s all this in the old Currant Bun? Turns out that Anorak’s favourite cockney hard man Guy Ritchie is getting more grief from his Yankee trouble-and-strife. Seems Ritchie … (read more)

Posted: 21st, September 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt Have Words

“I TRY not to stifle [my children] in any way. If it’s not hurting anyone, I want them to be able to explore. Sometimes that means they’re quite rambunctious,” says … (read more)

Posted: 21st, September 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


Ming The Magnificent

THE Liberal Democrat’s new Ming dynasty is already looking fragile and old. It needs refreshing. The audience at the LibDem conference in Brighton needs reminding that there is value in … (read more)

Posted: 21st, September 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Old Banger

HERE at Anorak we don’t flinch from stories that other publications might understandably shy away from. Even when bad news is close to home, we put our news values before … (read more)

Posted: 21st, September 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Nicole Kidman Barred

Not OK For OJ Having been found liable for the wrongful death of Ronald Goldman by a civil court, OJ Simpson was supposed to pay £18 million damages. He hasn’t. … (read more)

Posted: 21st, September 2006 | In: Royal Family | Comment


The Glasgow Taliban

HOME secretary John Reid had what the Daily Mail calls “a dramatic confrontation with two preachers of hate” during his visit to East London yesterday. Things didn’t look good when … (read more)

Posted: 21st, September 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Desperately Seeking Pauline

NEWS that EastEnders miserabislist Pauline Fowler is to hang up her dishcloth marks the end of an era and, perhaps, the start of new chapter for Madonna. Looking at the … (read more)

Posted: 20th, September 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Getting Woods

“TIGER’S WIFE IN SEX PIC SHOCK.” That’s the Star’s front-page headline, and it’s one illustrated by a shot of Swedish model Elin Nordegren wearing a white bikini. Elin looks like … (read more)

Posted: 20th, September 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Back To Basics

WHEN Theo Walcott was selected to play for England in the World Cup, we were introduced to football’s latest tyro. And, more vitally, we also got to meet his girlfriend, … (read more)

Posted: 20th, September 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment


Michael Jackson’s Legal Fight

Dear Cherie Because of her work as a human rights layer, Mrs Cherie Blair has been paid £3,000 to front three half-hour films on people’s rights. The shows will feature … (read more)

Posted: 20th, September 2006 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Elizabeth Taylor’s Steve Irwin

ARE we watching the beginnings of a macabre new trend? When Shelley Winters died from heart failure on January 14, 2006, her passing was announced on the national news. A … (read more)

Posted: 20th, September 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Dispirit Housewives

YOU can stop asking questions about what people are excitingly calling “Chris Tarrant’s affair with a blonde woman”. We are now down to the facts part of the show, when … (read more)

Posted: 20th, September 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Fastest Fingers

“IT’S OVER.” Sometimes the simplest headlines are the best. And the Mirror’s neatly sums up the condition of Chris Tarrant and his wife Ingrid’s marriage. It is over. But sometimes … (read more)

Posted: 19th, September 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Hilton’s Bed & Bored

PARIS Hilton is multitasking in the Mirror. She is talking on a mobile phone, carrying shopping bags AND wearing sunglasses. It is not for no reason that she is desired. … (read more)

Posted: 19th, September 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Clay Soldiers

HARD as it tries, the crowd at Manchester United’s Old Trafford stadium are no match for the real terracotta army*. Sure, they stand still and mute, but they lack age … (read more)

Posted: 19th, September 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Riad All About It

“HOW do you deal with having a relationship in the limelight.” This question to you, former Atomic Kitten singer Natasha Hamilton. And to your new lover, Riad. That’s R.I.A.D. Yes, … (read more)

Posted: 19th, September 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment


Church’s Reveal

WHO would have guessed that when she won the 2002 Rear Of The Year title, Charlotte Church would end up in “BIG” pants? Who can forget Charlotte’s words at receiving … (read more)

Posted: 19th, September 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Get Yer Kit On

“VICTORIA looks fit in my kit,” says the Mirror’s headline. “DROPPED BECKS REVEALS HIS SECRET PASSIONS…AND PAIN.” The Mirror was listening in yesterday when Becks was interviewed by Radio 1 … (read more)

Posted: 19th, September 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


We Was Robbed

We Was Robbed Footballer Steven Gerard, who earns £60,000 a week, says he was once caught shoplifting. “I grabbed a few pens and paper from Woolworths and made a dash … (read more)

Posted: 19th, September 2006 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Chips Off The Old Stones

“FRESH from taking New York’s Fashion Week by storm – where the glamorous babe strutted down the catwalk drinking a big milkshake…” Fashion moves on apace. And no sooner have … (read more)

Posted: 18th, September 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


There Be Penguins

IF you go down to the woods today, you’re sure of a big surprise. What with Muslim fundamentalists in cagoules trying to win cub-scout badges in jihad and orienteering the … (read more)

Posted: 18th, September 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment