Anorak

| Anorak - Part 23

- Author Archive

Kerry’s Pregnancy “CHLOE”

THE death of a high brand can be traced to the moment it appears writ across a T-shirt on a Z-lister’s chest. But at first glance the doyens of the … (read more)

Posted: 19th, August 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment


Big Brother – What Next?

YOU still there? Big Brother has been on for an age. Who on hearing the words “Day 94” doesn’t think about their life and what happened to the summer? We … (read more)

Posted: 19th, August 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment


One In The Eye

“BUT the eyewear shows she still retains her sense of humour.” The Mail continues its pursuit of Heather Mills McCartney, following her as she steps out in Beverly Hills. And … (read more)

Posted: 18th, August 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Grade A Babes

“ELITE universities will struggle to identify who really is the brightest,” says the Times. Half of all A-levels taken by girls this year resulted in an A or B grade. … (read more)

Posted: 18th, August 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Gently Rock & Roll

THOSE who are about to rock gently to and fro on shaky legs and mumble to yourselves, we salute you. The Mail reports that tickets for the UK leg of … (read more)

Posted: 18th, August 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Voter Apathy

"She should win because she is the cutest girl I have ever met.” That’s what Glyn thinks about Nikkkki. But Nikkkkki, as we have said on these pages many times, … (read more)

Posted: 18th, August 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Diary Of A Somebody

“I’M not the least bit interested about the X Factor starting up again.” And so begins a section of Kerry Katona’s OK! Diary. That Kerry should tell us how disinterested … (read more)

Posted: 18th, August 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment


Boy About Town

“IT’S ALL GOOD CLEANER FUN,” says the Star’s headline. And we see a picture of Boy George having a jolly on his community service. He cavorts with a woman in … (read more)

Posted: 18th, August 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Bums On Seats

ROLL Up! Roll up! Roll up! What am I bid for a three-year course in Media studies at Thames Valley University? We’ll throw in a copy of TV Quick and … (read more)

Posted: 17th, August 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Jordan’s Hedgehog Horror Shame – 2008

JORDAN was last night relieved of her duties as a roving ambassador for the Spiny Friends Hedgehog Hospital. Since undergoing treatment for alcohol and fame addiction, the voluptuous model has … (read more)

Posted: 17th, August 2006 | In: Broadsheets | Comment


Careers In Therapy

YOUR celebrity credentials are looking good. You’ve been interviewed by OK!, done a stint on Celebrity Big Brother and your dog has been shortlisted for the British version of America’s … (read more)

Posted: 17th, August 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Sink Of Despair

“ABC News reported that at one point, the woman threatened to urinate in a sink,” reports the Sun. And we say about time. The fight for sexual equality needs people … (read more)

Posted: 17th, August 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


& Nothing

LEt’S talk about Richard. He wants to be Jack McFarland from Will & Grace. But he’s got more chance of being that show’s headline-making ampersand. Richard is a walking ‘&’. … (read more)

Posted: 17th, August 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Mel Gibson Defrocked

THERE are few things in life more gratifying that seeing a preacher exposed. This is not to say we encourage men of the cloth to disrobe in public and make … (read more)

Posted: 17th, August 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment


Paris Hilton & Other Nightmares

“DO you wake in a cold sweat after dreams of being hunted by Sir Cliff Richard – or shouted at by Davina McCall?” asks the Sun. Tony Blair might well … (read more)

Posted: 17th, August 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


No Lady

WE know from the Sun that Prince Harry is every girl’s dream date, but what about a dream date for the “fellas”. For the answer we turn to the Mirror. … (read more)

Posted: 16th, August 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Toff His Head

“‘INSTANT JUSTICE’ TO NAIL THE YOBS,” announces the Sun, adding approvingly that police chiefs are demanding powers to bar the aforementioned troublemakers from town centres. One candidate for such powers … (read more)

Posted: 16th, August 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Maybe Baby

The Star says Pete and Nikki have been dubbed Pikki by fans. We are also told in a “WORLD EXCLUSIVE" of “NIKKI BABY FEARS”. This baby is neither Suri Holmes-Cruise … (read more)

Posted: 16th, August 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Pack It In

FOR those of you who have been locked up in the Big Brother house, lost at sea or living in a bunker in northern Israel, the Times once again publishes … (read more)

Posted: 16th, August 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Selling The Navy

WITH constant talk of cutbacks and downsizing, the Royal Navy has been going through a lean period of late. So we are delighted to read in the Daily Mail that … (read more)

Posted: 16th, August 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Justin Timberlake Invites Us To His Wedding

“WHEN we decide, I will be sure to invite you, all right?” Justin Timberlake is talking with OK! about his wedding to Cameron Diaz. And we’ve just heard him invite … (read more)

Posted: 15th, August 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment


Crusty Love

Remember when Big Brother was a game show? The aim was to win loadsa money. Now the producers might as well give the £100,000 first prize to Nikki and Pete’s … (read more)

Posted: 15th, August 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Transparent Government

“HE was greatly impressed by the work going on there and the patience shown by the public. He extended his thanks." John Prescott has undertaken a “fact-finding” mission to British … (read more)

Posted: 15th, August 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Off His Face

SO far the War on Terror has lacked the celebrity element that would get us all sitting up and really taking notice. But things are changing. And as we read … (read more)

Posted: 15th, August 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


A Man With Conviction

LOOK everyone! It’s Boy George and he’s wearing an orange bib and carrying a brush and spade. Usually we only see stars from the Eighties when they’re performing in cabaret … (read more)

Posted: 15th, August 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment