A Nasty Taste

“GET your free lollies here. There is no catch.” Anorak’s charabanc is in Bournemouth and in need of refreshment, we approach an ice-cream van and accept the “free” treats. But … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, August 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

The Un-Fallen Madonna

LOOKING at the photographs of Madonna there seems to be little of the Billy Connolly about her? The Mirror watches the singer begin the UK leg of her Confessions world … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, August 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Sexy Football

“THIS was a superhuman effort against all the odds. If you were writing a Hollywood film, this would be rejected as a fairytale.” And because we are writing a Hollywood … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, August 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

He’ll Be Back

"I PHONED my wife and she said to me, ‘How did you feel meeting Arnold Schwarzenegger?" Tony Blair is delivering a talk to Angelinos who lunch. “I felt acute body … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, August 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Dogg Of War

“AS Mr Blair sips cocktails with rap stars on Sunset Strip and schmoozes America’s rich, Beirut burns, 70 die in Iraq and 4 British soldiers are killed – including this … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, August 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Hacked Off

“GOSH! LOOK AT POSH.” We read the Mirror’s front-page headline and follow the instructions. We look at Her Poshness. There are more “AMAZING” pictures inside. So we move within the … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, August 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

When No Means Slow

SLOW news day? Not to worry, you can always issue the denial. The no-news rebuttal is the mainstay of the celebrity press. And the Enquirer is a hotbed if news … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, August 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

For Bea’s A Jolly Good Fellow

YE olde Royale Tippex Holder has been busy. The bewigged lackey has clearly got at the pictures of Sarah Duchess of York and her little Yorkies, Beatrice and Eugenie. Even … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, August 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

Spawn Chorus

SIR Paul McCartney would be well advised to hang on to as much cash as he can in his impending divorce from Heather Mills McCartney. Though some monks and nuns … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, August 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Entertainment On Hold

Whose is the voice on the end of other Big Brother automated telephony system? Even Big Brother is no longer interested in this bunch of housemates and has left. The … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, August 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Exhausting Excuses

WHEN the Mirror says Lindsay Lohan is “attention seeking” it knows what it is talking about. The paper had wanted to bring back its WMD counter which told its readers … (read more)

Posted: 1st, August 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Same Old, Same Old

Jonathan. Viral. Daryl Van Horne. JaYne. And Gygny. Joining the show late is no easy thing. Of the four new housemates who entered the house from the secret house, only … (read more)

Posted: 1st, August 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Hot Spots

FOR more bikini shots turn to the Star where a picture of Dannii Minogue in a two-piece swimsuit has been chosen to illustrate a story entitled “3 BRITS SHOT IN … (read more)

Posted: 1st, August 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

The Mobile Office

JOURNEY Times Targets for Urban Areas begins in grand style. Written by Douglas Alexander, the Secretary of State for Transport, the document has noble aims. Much of an MP’s work … (read more)

Posted: 1st, August 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Can’t Pin Her Down

LIZ Hurley has worn all manner of dresses in a career that has spanned parties, premieres and personal appearances. And now she is preparing to wear some more clothes, adding … (read more)

Posted: 1st, August 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

The Wedding Show

CONGRATULATIONS to Pamela Anderson who has just been married. And there are three more weddings to go as she and husband Kid Rock (nee Bob Ritchie) plan to follow their … (read more)

Posted: 31st, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

The Sting

“I’m worth the money. People are realising now they’ve launched a star. I’m actually multi-talented.” We won’t bother to get you ask who delivered those lines – it could be … (read more)

Posted: 31st, July 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Performance Art

IS it a train or is it art? Having experienced Simon Starling’s Shedboatshed (Mobile Architecture No 2), Damien Hirst’s pickled animals and Anorak’s very own Vomit In Sock, we suspect … (read more)

Posted: 31st, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Pinky & Perky

PINK socks. What do pink socks say about the wearer? The Sun takes a look at Prince Harry, wearer of such socks (matching pair of) as he limbers up for … (read more)

Posted: 31st, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Tequila Sunset

“F*****G Jews,” says the motorist as police pull over a speeding car in Malibu, California. “The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world,” he continues. The driver … (read more)

Posted: 31st, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Wimbledon Abandoned 2008

HENMAN Hill was in shock yesterday, as history repeated itself – the second time as tragedy.It all started perfectly, with the sun shining down on Tim Henman as he entered … (read more)

Posted: 31st, July 2006 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Time For An Egg

“WE had a lot if inquiries. We said OK, this is a big issue – people can’t even boil an egg.” The spokesman for Lion Quality Eggs, the assurance wing … (read more)

Posted: 31st, July 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Heath Extension

I WANT your sex, Norman Kirtland. Norman was 58-years-old and had a pot belly. On Monday the Sun had a picture of Norman standing on his local Brighton beach. And … (read more)

Posted: 30th, July 2006 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Seven And A Half Minutes Of Fame

His name’s Michael! Daryl Van Horne is called Michael. We know this because Davina shouted out that “MICHAEL!” was to leave the house. There was a brief pause hear at … (read more)

Posted: 30th, July 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Friends Like These

IT is estimated that it takes an average celebrity a full four years to ditch all their old school chums and childhood friends and replace them with better looking and … (read more)

Posted: 30th, July 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

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