Touch-Tight & Fancy Free

THE great former Arsenal goalkeeper Bob Wilson may or may not have given Matthew Cole a few free tips on speech-making, but by his own admission Ashley has Arsenal manager … (read more)

Posted: 29th, July 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

Not The Last Noel

EVERY day of every week the Mail thinks up imaginative ways to remind you that life is cruel and you are going to experience pain and die. Here is a … (read more)

Posted: 29th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

The Lights Are On…

The fixed expression. The lyrics about the lights being on but there’s no-one at home. The swaying, not-really-dancing dance. Remember Robert Palmer’s Addicted to Love? And that video of the … (read more)

Posted: 29th, July 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Cheryl & Ashley’s Best Man

JUST as every generation of England footballers will always be compared with the World Cup-winning heroes of 1966, so every best man at a footballer’s wedding will always be compared … (read more)

Posted: 28th, July 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

George Bush’s Malfunction

WHEN Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunctioned at the Super Bowl in 2004, Americans gasped. The millions of viewers looking in could not have been more shocked at the sight of Janet’s … (read more)

Posted: 28th, July 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Soap Boiler

GERI Halliwell was always an exceptional talent. Geri broke the mould of popular entertainers. While they who have gone before her have been able to sing and not dance or … (read more)

Posted: 28th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Terrible Sex

At Anorak we’ve been looking at Richard from all sorts of angles. And for the life of we can’t see how he came to consider himself a “sexual terrorist”. It … (read more)

Posted: 28th, July 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Bone

FOR every one Drew Barrymore, there are many Macaulay Culkins who fail to grow with their audience. The tiny frame, clean complexion and sassy mouth that looked engaging on a … (read more)

Posted: 28th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Jehovah Kill

“YOU don’t have to be mad to work here but it helps.” So goes the sign behind the bar at the Ferret & Chav public house. And what if it’s … (read more)

Posted: 28th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Fully Loaded

LINDSAY Lohan is suffering from exhaustion. The Mirror says that after going on a six hour “bender” the night before filming her new movie, Lindsay felt exhausted. We look on … (read more)

Posted: 28th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Jennifer Aniston & Victoria Beckham’s Legs

SPURIOUS reason to feature an article about Jennifer Aniston No.3965A. A picture of Jennifer is on the cover of the Express. And there’s a headline to go with the image: … (read more)

Posted: 27th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Nikki’s Simple Life

Nikki is the new Paris Hilton. No, scratch that. Nikki is the UK’s new answer to Paris Hilton – in much the same way that Holby City is the UK’s … (read more)

Posted: 27th, July 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Tori Spelling’s Dynasty

WHEN Tori Spelling was cast as one of the beautiful people in the TV show Beverley Hills 90210 we scratched our heads and tossed back our golden hair. We then … (read more)

Posted: 27th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Is Sarah Ferguson Mouthier?

PRINCESS Beatrice’s birthday was responsible for much. First there was the birthday girl’s frou-frou dress, a £10,000 explosion of taffeta and spoilt brat chic. Then there is the Mail’s news … (read more)

Posted: 27th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

David Hasselhoff’s Wet Suit

DAVID Hasselhoff sits on cart at Heathrow Airport. He wears dark glasses, a shirt and a wet path on his groin. Has David, fresh from saving lives in the fountain … (read more)

Posted: 27th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

SAVE US

“A UK ‘BETRAYAL’ OF THE US IN THE WAR ON TERROR.” That’s the headline above the tight print that fills two pages of the Times. And there is more. There … (read more)

Posted: 27th, July 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Blood Money

“DAMNED,” says the front page of the Mirror. And there are pictures, arranged in a quincunx, of the five men accused of killing Stephen Lawrence in 1993. Many years have … (read more)

Posted: 26th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Wayne Rooney & Coleen McLoughlin’s New Home

SUCH is our love of all things celebrity that even the weather needs a famous face. And to the Mirror’s mind, the sun looks just like Wayne Rooney. Alongside a … (read more)

Posted: 26th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Double The Fun

SIX people are up for eviction. The mass cull that JaYne began continues. But who will it be. Dimogen & Snoozie? Viral & Daryl Van Horne? Or Richard & Pete? … (read more)

Posted: 26th, July 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Tony Blair’s Summer Holiday

HOW long is your summer holiday? Yesterday our MPs packed their little read boxes and broke up for 76 days. And the Telegraph watched them leave. The paper tells us … (read more)

Posted: 26th, July 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Orlando Bloom’s Living Kate Bosworth Doll

ARE these the beginnings of a new craze in Hollywood? Having learned that Charlie Sheen once shared his home with a life-sized latex doll, we read the Star’s news with … (read more)

Posted: 26th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

George Michael Cruises By

“I’VE got no issue with cruising. I’ve talked about it many times. So they have to make me look like the gay Wayne Rooney, don’t they?” That’s what George Michael … (read more)

Posted: 26th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Noel Edmonds Sees All

SOPHIE Anderton could have saved herself a fortune in therapy by buying Noel Edmonds’ new book – Positively Happy: Cosmic Ways To Change Your Life. Indeed, she could have saved … (read more)

Posted: 25th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Sophie Anderton Says Knickers To Emily Scott

PICTURES of Becks in his kecks may dominate the news agenda this morning, but he is not the only underwear model to be making a splash. If Love Island had … (read more)

Posted: 25th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Prince Charles Protects His Camilla

NOEL Edmonds devotees (who now include the entire Daily Mail readership) know that Another Person’s Gain Is Not Your Loss. So we imagine they will be more than happy to … (read more)

Posted: 25th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

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