Anorak

| Anorak - Part 3

- Author Archive

Spirits Move Him

“WERE you drunk?” The Bishop of Southwark is in conversation with BBC Radio 4 presenter John Humphreys. And by drunk, Mr Humphreys means intoxicated not by the love of Jesus … (read more)

Posted: 20th, December 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)


Family Affairs

“WHY I’ll never forgive my father Chris Tarrant for his affair.” The Mail’s front page has that legend and a picture of Christ Tarrant, wife cheater and all round bad … (read more)

Posted: 20th, December 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Highs & J-Lo

JENNIER Lopez’s backside sees all. Jennifer Lopez’s backside knows all. Jennifer Lopez’s backside is all. Jennifer Lopez’s backside is the barometer of the times in which we live. Look on, … (read more)

Posted: 20th, December 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment


Beyond The Veil

ROBBERS, thieves, murderers, rapists and all other assorted nasties listen up. You can escape the long arms of law and order. And all you need is to dress up as … (read more)

Posted: 20th, December 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Blind Dates

COME on down “Ripper suspect” Number Two. What’s your name and where do you come from. Before the suspect can mumble something about preferring to be called the “Suffolk Strangler”, … (read more)

Posted: 20th, December 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


In The Money

In The Black What price fashion? The black dress won by Audrey Hepburn in the movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s has sold at auction for £410,000. The dress was sold by … (read more)

Posted: 19th, December 2006 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Spears Takes It On The Chin

“BRITNEY WEARS KNICKERS.” Such a headline as this commands our attention. And so it is that we return to the Mirror and look on as Britney Spears pulls on a … (read more)

Posted: 19th, December 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Sloping Off

“WILLS AND KATE ELOPE TO SLOPES.” On the face of it this is no small thing. Prince William and Kate Middleton, the gel-friend, are making ready to elope, jetting off … (read more)

Posted: 19th, December 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Bashing The Bishop

THE hunt for the “Suffolk Strangler” goes on. At least that’s what the police are saying, not daring to fully believe the man in their custody is the lunatic responsible … (read more)

Posted: 19th, December 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Could It Be Tragic?

JORDAN looks like Barbie? Not Barbie Streisand, Barbie Bush or Barbie Cartland but Barbie, the plastic figurine who girls dress up and boys put in compromising positions with other Barbies … (read more)

Posted: 19th, December 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Robbie Williams- (Take) That’s All Folks

ROBBIE Williams looks wide eyed. He also looks: "Depressed, loveless and without ambition." His is a "tortured soul".  So says the Express.Before we go on to peer inside the Williams … (read more)

Posted: 18th, December 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Tony Blair’s Mission

"CAN Tony Blair make a difference?" The Guardian asks that question. Tony is touring the near and middle Orient, following up visits to Turkey and Cairo with trips to Israel, … (read more)

Posted: 18th, December 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Leona Lewis – The Farewell Tour

LEONA Lewis everyone. This is the first interview with the winner of TV’s X Factor talent show, says the Star. Leona is the winner of the TV contest to find … (read more)

Posted: 18th, December 2006 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


The Wannabe Beckhams

VICTORIA Beckham “opens with the pure fresh notes of bergamot and rose petals”. In the face of much evidence to the contrary, Her Poshness can hit top notes, middle notes … (read more)

Posted: 18th, December 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Toxic Cows

EVERY day of every week the Mail thinks up imaginative ways to remind you that life is cruel and you are going to experience pain and die. And if it … (read more)

Posted: 18th, December 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Cheek To Cheeky

JUST what does 41-year-old Lembit Opik, the LibDem MP see in 24-year-old Romanian-born Cheeky Girl Gabriel Irmimia. The Mirror shows the moment the MP for Montgomeryshire, Wales, met the young … (read more)

Posted: 18th, December 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Diana – ‘No’ News

CHERIE BLAIR stood with her dress unbuttoned. She was not wearing underwear. It was Monday. It was cold and it was raining. But this was no revolution. Cherie had not … (read more)

Posted: 16th, December 2006 | In: Broadsheets | Comment


A Frost Reception

KATE Moss looks across the table at Ffiona’s restaurant in London. She eyes Alex Zane. She wants to have him for dinner, to eat him alive. He’s the hapless lad … (read more)

Posted: 15th, December 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


A Ripping Yarn

FROM the prolonged and endless mysterious tale of Princess Diana who died ten years ago, we turn to five women who were irrefutably murdered. Not that these five were just … (read more)

Posted: 15th, December 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Princess Diana’s Bun Fight

“DIANA: THE VERDICT.” The Sun shows a picture of forever blonde Princess Diana on its front page. The paper tells us that with NO evidence to the contrary it has … (read more)

Posted: 15th, December 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


The Sky High Club

THERE we were in the toilet onboard a plane from Heathrow to New York. Forget the mile high club, this was the sky high club – terrorists were going to … (read more)

Posted: 15th, December 2006 | In: Broadsheets | Comment


Jade Goody’s Boxing Day

JADE Goody and Jack Tweedy are getting married. It promises to be quite some do with lots of finger food (chips) and kebabs all round. And jumpers. For reasons unspecified, … (read more)

Posted: 15th, December 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment


Peter Pipes Up

PETER McKay is in New York. Or at least he has been. Perhaps the Mail’s columnist has been taking advantage of the falling dollar and strong pound to buy Christmas … (read more)

Posted: 14th, December 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Reality Politik

POLITICS and pop music are rarely in harmony. If it’s not light bulb-headed Neil Kinnock popping up in Tracey Ullman’a video, it’s LibDem leader Menzies Campbell and Gordon Brown competing … (read more)

Posted: 14th, December 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Borat’s Mud Sticks

“WE’RE leaving Borat’s village for a dream life in Britain.” So says the Sun’s headline, a legend based on interviews with villagers living in Moroieni, Romania. Those gipsies featured in … (read more)

Posted: 14th, December 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment