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Summer Loving

‘FACED with the option of Janie or Little Mo, most men would choose option C and begin to see Pauline in a new light. But Billy Mitchell is not most … (read more)

Posted: 20th, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Shameless

‘VILE, disgusting, horrific, degrading… The tabloid hacks churn out the usual bile over pages 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11 and 12 this morning. The editor of The SunThey speak of the two corpses found … (read more)

Posted: 19th, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Cheeky

‘THE STAR runs a piece on page 3 entitled ”Driven wild by pure lust”. It tells how an ”ex-lover” of murder suspect Maxine Carr was shocked when she started ”flashing … (read more)

Posted: 19th, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Weighty

‘IT’S reassuring to know that on a day like today, the tabloids still have a bit of space left for some real news. Young Jade went a bit overboard with … (read more)

Posted: 19th, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Dead In The Water

‘AROUND the time of the first great flood, a pair of each type of animal made it through to safety on Noah’s floating menagerie. Now just a random handful of … (read more)

Posted: 19th, August 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Animal Hospital

‘BUT as you post a £10 gift token to Slavek, ask yourself this: ”What would you have done when faced with a drowning hippo?” It’s not a question we spend … (read more)

Posted: 19th, August 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

War Of The Words

‘SIR ALEX Ferguson, who ”sees nothing wrong” with Roy Keane’s autobiography, reckons that old Keno will ”make a top manager” when his leg-crushing days as a player are over. Roy … (read more)

Posted: 19th, August 2002 | In: Back pages | Comment

Doreen Goes Doo-Lally

‘THE Hillmans are back from honeymoon and they walk right into a Dame Shirley Porter style housing scandal. Richard is devastated to discover that a prisoners’ charity has bought the … (read more)

Posted: 19th, August 2002 | In: Strange But True | Comment

United We Stand

‘RUMOURS abound that the Premier League football season starts this weekend, and that there is more than just one team entering. But these are just rumours, and some elements of … (read more)

Posted: 16th, August 2002 | In: Back pages | Comment

La Grande Bouffe

‘WE ALL wish a long and healthy life to St Tony, not to mention nice Mr Major and all the other past prime ministers who are still thankfully with us. … (read more)

Posted: 16th, August 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

The Roaring Forties

”’COMING soon: the age of the fortysomethings.” Now that’s better, why can’t we have a few more headlines like that one, which comes courtesy of the small but beautifully put … (read more)

Posted: 16th, August 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Barnacle Willy

‘IT’S one of the more unusual dangers of summer, but let this be a lesson to anyone thinking of falling asleep on a beach. The Glas Javnosti newspaper reports that … (read more)

Posted: 16th, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Fabric Of Society

‘EVERY day, all around the world, people are going about their daily business unaware of the terrible crisis threatening them. One of the most valuable resources on the planet is … (read more)

Posted: 16th, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Elvis Lives!

‘IT’S just as well Elvis isn’t around to live in a world without plentiful supplies of polyester. Or is he? Today, on the 25th anniversary of what is widely believed … (read more)

Posted: 16th, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Loving And Leaving

‘ONE music legend unlikely to be seen in Britain is Geri Halliwell. And even if she were a music legend, she still wouldn’t be seen on these shores for much … (read more)

Posted: 16th, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

End Of The Road

‘MUSTN’T grumble. In 33 years of supporting Crystal Palace I have never been ripped off. The players, by and large, have done their best, and the prices have never been … (read more)

Posted: 16th, August 2002 | In: Back pages | Comment

See You In Elvis

‘IT’S 25 years today since Elvis left the building for good. Or not, depending on whether you’re one of those people who thinks he never really died at all and … (read more)

Posted: 16th, August 2002 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Nicht Clubbing

‘FROM sea lions to clubs, the Times relates the story of the German bank and the inappropriate ”clubbing attire”. Some of the workers took Dress Down Friday way too farThe … (read more)

Posted: 15th, August 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Mousy Blonde

‘OF course, if Deutsche Bank were a sixth-form college, they would be celebrating another very good year. While we ponder how it is that we are getting smarter year on … (read more)

Posted: 15th, August 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Writing the Wrongs

‘IF Roy Keane’s autobiography were a true self-made tome, we would possibly expect it be called ‘Roy: Hard But Fair’, ‘Roy: Being Red – Seeing Red’ or ‘Roye’. The sweet … (read more)

Posted: 15th, August 2002 | In: Back pages | Comment

Sex Drive

‘THEY say men can’t do two things at once, but this story from Canada proves it’s a myth. Police in Ontario were reportedly ”astonished” to discover that a car they … (read more)

Posted: 15th, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Historical Continuity

”’PRINCE Andrew is set to receive a multimillion-pound windfall from the sale of Sunninghill Park,” reports Hello!, after the Queen agreed to allow him to buy the place freehold from … (read more)

Posted: 15th, August 2002 | In: Reviews | Comment

Atherton Off The Mark

‘EVERYONE in Hello! seems to have a new baby – with the exception of Cherie Blair, whose miscarriage is unaccountably given two pages of coverage in the current issue – … (read more)

Posted: 15th, August 2002 | In: Reviews | Comment

Hoffman In Chair Scare Shocker

‘POOR old Dustin Hoffman. As if his unscheduled appearance as a pundit on Big Brother wasn’t bad enough, he seems to be surrounded by misfortune. The stuff of Dustin’s nightmaresFirst … (read more)

Posted: 15th, August 2002 | In: Reviews | Comment

Running Scared

‘BRITNEY is on the brink, according to this week’s big National Enquirer feature story. The booze and the heartache are all played out in minute detail, but the most shocking … (read more)

Posted: 15th, August 2002 | In: Reviews | Comment

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