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England On A Winning Run

‘UNLESS something goes badly wrong today, England will go 1-0 up in their four-match Test series against India and underline the progress they have made under Duncan Fletcher and Nasser … (read more)

Posted: 29th, July 2002 | In: Back pages | Comment

Jumping On A Dead Horse

‘THE normal parasites have started hanging round Big Brother in the past few days. Tara Palmer-Tomkinson, for example, turned up on Friday night nominally to support Alex but really to … (read more)

Posted: 29th, July 2002 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Vanity Mirrored

‘IT doesn’t pay to be as vain as a peacock, even if you are one. Officials at Fredriksberg Park in Copenhagen have had to get rid of most of the … (read more)

Posted: 29th, July 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Better Things

”YOU can walk my path/ You can wear my shoes/ Let her talk like me/ And be an angel too.’ Bernie takes a test drive on the new bypassWords we … (read more)

Posted: 26th, July 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Rocking The Boat

‘THERE was a time when we were promised referenda on all manner of things. Not the ideal location for a polling boothWe were to be asked if we wanted to … (read more)

Posted: 26th, July 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Cooking Up A Storm

‘OF course, there are other ways to skin a cat, and chef Gordon Ramsay knows a few of them. The chef made sure Mr Wood would write no more unfavourable … (read more)

Posted: 26th, July 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Flat Stanley

‘THERE is little denying that football finances are in the doldrums. Looking past the only big money signing of the close season, money has not been the big news it … (read more)

Posted: 26th, July 2002 | In: Back pages | Comment

The Grand Finale

‘IT’S unfortunate, but somebody’s got to win it. And tonight, we finally find out which one of the four remaining housemates is destined to grace the front pages of the … (read more)

Posted: 26th, July 2002 | In: Celebrities | Comment

The Fight Club

‘EXTREME wrestling came to Walford this week as a freestyle bout between the Slaters and the Trumans broke out in The Vic. The standoff began when Cat accused Zoe of … (read more)

Posted: 26th, July 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Culture Vultures

‘WHAT makes illegal immigrants spend all their money on a one-way ticket to Britain via the back of a lorry? Mr Benn welcomes the new arrivals from KosovoIs it the … (read more)

Posted: 25th, July 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Acourt Case

‘OF course, in order to reach the promised land, asylum seekers need wheels. Going downSo they will be alarmed every time another immigrant transit operative is sent to jail for … (read more)

Posted: 25th, July 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Future Schlock

‘LIFE after Big Brother? Surely there’s no such thing. How could life be worth living once the Elstree house is deserted and Kate, Alex, Jade and Jonny are no longer … (read more)

Posted: 25th, July 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Fat Of The Land

‘JADE herself is clearly aware that drastic steps will have to be taken if she ever wants to model for anything other than Wall’s Smoked Back Bacon. ‘If you want … (read more)

Posted: 25th, July 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Space Invader

‘IT’S a depressing thought that in 30 years, the average bloke will have to convert a marquee into a pair of trousers to have any hope of squeezing his 42in … (read more)

Posted: 25th, July 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Big Brother Love-Fest

‘AS the housemates enter their last full day in the Big Brother house, everyone is one happy family all of a sudden – just before they walk out the doors … (read more)

Posted: 25th, July 2002 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Manchester Rains Supreme

‘IT’S the first day of the Lord’s Test between England and India, the start of the Commonwealth Games and still Leeds United are the sporting subject uppermost in the Mirror’s … (read more)

Posted: 25th, July 2002 | In: Back pages | Comment

Getting Their Kicks On Route ’66

‘ENGLAND’S footballers will be looking forward to the round of pre-season friendlies that will allow them to put the disappointments of the summer behind them and look ahead to the … (read more)

Posted: 25th, July 2002 | In: Back pages | Comment

An Offer Too Good To Accept

‘BURGLARS who have been raiding a Norwegian company might get away with more than they planned, after the company boss offered them a two-month holiday. Bill Schjelderup, managing editor of … (read more)

Posted: 25th, July 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

The Honeymoon Is Over

‘THEY haven’t even swept up the confetti, yet ‘trouble is already brewing in paradise’ for Julia Roberts and her new husband Danny Moder.The Moders were sick of waiting for the … (read more)

Posted: 25th, July 2002 | In: Reviews | Comment

Dizzy Blonde

‘THERE will be no wedding bells for Britney Spears just yet, but the sound of ambulance sirens could soon be ringing in her ears.Britney regretted having that last piece of … (read more)

Posted: 25th, July 2002 | In: Reviews | Comment

Making A Killing

‘NOT content with focusing on the world’s most famous celebrities, this week the Enquirer takes a look at the more infamous ones as well. Beverley Allitt was delighted at her … (read more)

Posted: 25th, July 2002 | In: Reviews | Comment

Madness

”KOP ARE MAD ON BAD FAD’ declares the Sun. Eh? Come again? Denis dreams of the day he will don the Old GoldWell, it’s not the best – or most … (read more)

Posted: 24th, July 2002 | In: Back pages | Comment

Spot The Dummy

‘How can a clam cram in a clean cream can? Big question. A good question. The kind of question that keeps the Big Brother quartet talking loud and long into … (read more)

Posted: 24th, July 2002 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Household Names

‘IT’S midnight on day nine hundred and twenty-seven in OK!’s tribute to Big Brother. The original Dwight dwellingHousemates Elton and David are sitting in Woodside, a sprawling mansion on the … (read more)

Posted: 24th, July 2002 | In: Reviews | Comment

PJ Drama

‘BUT Vicky and David are worried. Hot on their heels in the hunt for fame are PJ, Jade, Spencer, Alex, Kate, Tim and Jonny. The magnificent seven are thrilling the … (read more)

Posted: 24th, July 2002 | In: Reviews | Comment

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