Anorak

| Anorak - Part 32

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Round The Sven-d

“LATER he picked up a handful of pebbles…and began talking to them.” “You,” he says, “are my defensive rock.” He then smacks his lips and with a self-satisfied smirk addresses … (read more)

Posted: 9th, July 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Ruud Boys

Newcastle want to sign Manchester United’s Ruud Van Nistelrooy (Mail)
Bayern Munich also want Van Nistelrooy (Times)
Manchester United will bid for Spain’s Fernando Torres (Times)
Arsenal want to buy … (read more)

Posted: 8th, July 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Meat Is Murder

EVERY day of every week the Mail thinks up imaginative ways to remind you that life is cruel and you are going to experience pain and die. Here is a … (read more)

Posted: 8th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


All The Number Twos

A confession. I have now referred to the official Big Brother website and various other sources seven times to find out the names of the new housemates. Admittedly, it should … (read more)

Posted: 8th, July 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Going Down

“I’D like to thank Robert Kilroy-Silk for being an inspiration, my mum and dad for buying me a Satsuma for my sixteenth birthday, the team at the Fake Bake salon … (read more)

Posted: 8th, July 2006 | In: Broadsheets | Comment


Bronzed Off

Quotes Of The Day “The thing must now be looked at after the match with a view to taking retrospective action. The trouble is a generation of players has grown … (read more)

Posted: 8th, July 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Off The Rack

Winners Sir Clive Woodward, the former England rugby coach, says footballers should work on their penalty taking. He wants penalty shoot-outs at the end of every match. Academics at the … (read more)

Posted: 8th, July 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Not Wright

“I’M not happy this morning.” What’s wrong, Ian? It’s Ian Wright, and when Ian’s not happy something must be badly wrong with the world.
 “I should be glad to be at … (read more)

Posted: 8th, July 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


The Number Of The Beast

Quotes Of The Day “It was very bitter to get eliminated like that, one minute from time, but not undeserved. The Italians had better chances in extra time” – Germany’s … (read more)

Posted: 7th, July 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Becks Home

Football Gossip Newcastle are interested in signing David Beckham for £120,000-a-week (Mail) Marcello Lippi will become a coach at Manchester Utd (Sun) Real Madrid are willing to pay £22m for … (read more)

Posted: 7th, July 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Best Left Alone

"PEOPLE with left hand is very intelligent." Nikkkki said that. And d’yer know what? Go on, guess. Even if you’re a painfully thick right-handed dunce, give it your best shot. … (read more)

Posted: 7th, July 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Hooking The Part

WHEN Abu Hamza was found guilty of incitement to murder and locked up for seven years, we groaned. Who now would be the tabloid’s favourite mad mullah? Who would raise … (read more)

Posted: 7th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Me & My Footballer

“YOU see girls in clubs making a beeline for footballers and it makes me sick,” says Cheryl Tweedy, who is to be married to Ashley Cole, the footballer, in a … (read more)

Posted: 7th, July 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment


United We Stand

Winners Tony Blair thinks there should be a Great Britain football team at the London 20102 Olympics. “I think it would be a good idea,” says Tony. The England and … (read more)

Posted: 7th, July 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Toonward-Boond

“UNDER federal law, German businesses are obliged to remain closed on Sundays,” begins George Caulkin of The Times, writing in Baden-Baden. All very interesting, Mr Caulkin, but why is this … (read more)

Posted: 7th, July 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Simple Truths

“IF you see pictures of me out I’m being paid. When I turn up at an event it is work.” Given that Paris Hilton, for it is she, would turn … (read more)

Posted: 7th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Her Own Fault

FOOTBALL has its pies. Cricket has its fruit cake. And tennis has strawberries and HRT. It’s just the way things are. So when Marilyn Still arrived at Wimbledon brandishing yoghurt, … (read more)

Posted: 7th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Getting Personal

“YOU’RE TIRED!” Cut! You join us at the filming of Jade Goody’s new reality TV show. Based on the Apprentice, the programme where a captain of industry chooses their new … (read more)

Posted: 7th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Time To Remember

HOW do you start talking about July 7 2005? Do you do as the Independent does and remember the victims, recalling seven stories from that terrible day one year ago? … (read more)

Posted: 7th, July 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Harry’s Big Business

Anorak Gossip
Real Madrid say Roman Abramovich allowed them to discuss signing Dutch winger Arjen Robben (Sun)
Arsenal will secure the services of Argentine striker Javier Saviola for just £2m … (read more)

Posted: 6th, July 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Major Cock Up

“DOOMSDAY DOSSIER,” says the Sun’s front-page headline. A Sun reader has found the Ministry of Defence’s “blueprint for terror attacks” lying in a ditch. The work’s official title is “Directorate … (read more)

Posted: 6th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Spot On

Quotes Of The Day “I will never understand why Wayne Rooney was left to play up front on his own. To leave him without any support was asking too much” … (read more)

Posted: 6th, July 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Throwing & Whitey

HAPPILY for all of you who forgot to take a camera along to Elton John and David Furnish’s White Tie & Tiara Ball, OK! has published the album of the … (read more)

Posted: 6th, July 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment


Write On

Winners Sepp Blatter, president of Fifa, has revealed three measures that he believes could improve refereeing standards at the World Cup. They include an amnesty on yellow cards after the … (read more)

Posted: 6th, July 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Good Luck-Luck

CROYDON has its trams. Soho has its rickshaws. And Hull has its Jaguars. And now making its mark on the world of transport is Brighton. As the Times reports, South … (read more)

Posted: 6th, July 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment