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Old Lady Luck

Quotes Of The Day “Lucky? I lost Totti three months before the World Cup. I have had Zambrotta, Gattuso and Nesta injured. We have had players sent off,. And we … (read more)

Posted: 9th, July 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Ruud Boys

Newcastle want to sign Manchester United’s Ruud Van Nistelrooy (Mail)
Bayern Munich also want Van Nistelrooy (Times)
Manchester United will bid for Spain’s Fernando Torres (Times)
Arsenal want to buy … (read more)

Posted: 8th, July 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Going Down

“I’D like to thank Robert Kilroy-Silk for being an inspiration, my mum and dad for buying me a Satsuma for my sixteenth birthday, the team at the Fake Bake salon … (read more)

Posted: 8th, July 2006 | In: Broadsheets | Comment


Meat Is Murder

EVERY day of every week the Mail thinks up imaginative ways to remind you that life is cruel and you are going to experience pain and die. Here is a … (read more)

Posted: 8th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Not Wright

“I’M not happy this morning.” What’s wrong, Ian? It’s Ian Wright, and when Ian’s not happy something must be badly wrong with the world.
 “I should be glad to be at … (read more)

Posted: 8th, July 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Bronzed Off

Quotes Of The Day “The thing must now be looked at after the match with a view to taking retrospective action. The trouble is a generation of players has grown … (read more)

Posted: 8th, July 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Off The Rack

Winners Sir Clive Woodward, the former England rugby coach, says footballers should work on their penalty taking. He wants penalty shoot-outs at the end of every match. Academics at the … (read more)

Posted: 8th, July 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


All The Number Twos

A confession. I have now referred to the official Big Brother website and various other sources seven times to find out the names of the new housemates. Admittedly, it should … (read more)

Posted: 8th, July 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Her Own Fault

FOOTBALL has its pies. Cricket has its fruit cake. And tennis has strawberries and HRT. It’s just the way things are. So when Marilyn Still arrived at Wimbledon brandishing yoghurt, … (read more)

Posted: 7th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Time To Remember

HOW do you start talking about July 7 2005? Do you do as the Independent does and remember the victims, recalling seven stories from that terrible day one year ago? … (read more)

Posted: 7th, July 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Getting Personal

“YOU’RE TIRED!” Cut! You join us at the filming of Jade Goody’s new reality TV show. Based on the Apprentice, the programme where a captain of industry chooses their new … (read more)

Posted: 7th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Becks Home

Football Gossip Newcastle are interested in signing David Beckham for £120,000-a-week (Mail) Marcello Lippi will become a coach at Manchester Utd (Sun) Real Madrid are willing to pay £22m for … (read more)

Posted: 7th, July 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


United We Stand

Winners Tony Blair thinks there should be a Great Britain football team at the London 20102 Olympics. “I think it would be a good idea,” says Tony. The England and … (read more)

Posted: 7th, July 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Simple Truths

“IF you see pictures of me out I’m being paid. When I turn up at an event it is work.” Given that Paris Hilton, for it is she, would turn … (read more)

Posted: 7th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Hooking The Part

WHEN Abu Hamza was found guilty of incitement to murder and locked up for seven years, we groaned. Who now would be the tabloid’s favourite mad mullah? Who would raise … (read more)

Posted: 7th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


The Number Of The Beast

Quotes Of The Day “It was very bitter to get eliminated like that, one minute from time, but not undeserved. The Italians had better chances in extra time” – Germany’s … (read more)

Posted: 7th, July 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Me & My Footballer

“YOU see girls in clubs making a beeline for footballers and it makes me sick,” says Cheryl Tweedy, who is to be married to Ashley Cole, the footballer, in a … (read more)

Posted: 7th, July 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment


Best Left Alone

"PEOPLE with left hand is very intelligent." Nikkkki said that. And d’yer know what? Go on, guess. Even if you’re a painfully thick right-handed dunce, give it your best shot. … (read more)

Posted: 7th, July 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Toonward-Boond

“UNDER federal law, German businesses are obliged to remain closed on Sundays,” begins George Caulkin of The Times, writing in Baden-Baden. All very interesting, Mr Caulkin, but why is this … (read more)

Posted: 7th, July 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


England Expectorates

“YOU’RE NOT WINKING ANY MORE,” jeers the Daily Mirror, while the Sun, in similar vein but with a more restrained lower-case typeface, opts for “You’re not winking any more”.
Both … (read more)

Posted: 6th, July 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Drugs & Working

BEFORE Kate Moss became ‘cocaine Kate’, the model’s career was in something of a nose dive. The Sun confirms what many have suspected: cocaine has been good for Kate. A … (read more)

Posted: 6th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Whispering Grass

WE have now watched Imogen for seven weeks. And we have kept a tally of her contributions to date. We cannot be precise, but the following figures are based on … (read more)

Posted: 6th, July 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Major Cock Up

“DOOMSDAY DOSSIER,” says the Sun’s front-page headline. A Sun reader has found the Ministry of Defence’s “blueprint for terror attacks” lying in a ditch. The work’s official title is “Directorate … (read more)

Posted: 6th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Throwing & Whitey

HAPPILY for all of you who forgot to take a camera along to Elton John and David Furnish’s White Tie & Tiara Ball, OK! has published the album of the … (read more)

Posted: 6th, July 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment


Harry’s Big Business

Anorak Gossip
Real Madrid say Roman Abramovich allowed them to discuss signing Dutch winger Arjen Robben (Sun)
Arsenal will secure the services of Argentine striker Javier Saviola for just £2m … (read more)

Posted: 6th, July 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment