Anorak

- Author Archive

Erasing Eyebrows

Aisleyne has fallen out with her on-screen mum Lea. “I think she’s evil for crying all the time, making people sorry for her," says Aisleyne. Bus Aisleyne should not be … (read more)

Posted: 30th, June 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment


He’s The Daddy Now

“SHUT it Blatter,” warns the Sun, following the FIFA president’s comments about the England team, whom he has branded “boring”, according to the paper’s interpretation of his latest remarks. “I … (read more)

Posted: 30th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Adding Insult To Injury

Winners
"I took a woodcarving course and someone asked me if I had tried carving melons – and when I tried it – they came out really good." So says … (read more)

Posted: 30th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


The Book Of Posh

ONE woman missing from Elton John’s White Tie & Tiara ball was the singer’s close pal Victoria Beckham. Vicky was otherwise engaged, busy walking in a London street. The Mirror … (read more)

Posted: 30th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


The Daddy Of All Pep Talks

Quotes Of The Day “You have to eat sensibly, drink sensibly – I mean water! – train hard and go to bed early” – Eric Cantona forgets to mention the … (read more)

Posted: 30th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


A Canterbury Tale

CHRISTOPHER Marlowe, Michael Powell, Sir Freddie Laker, Orlando Bloom and Rupert the Bear, sons of Canterbury one and all. So why, having listed Orland’s many ahievments to date, does OK! … (read more)

Posted: 30th, June 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment


Party Of Five

ANY takers? This is, after all, “a unique opportunity for you and five friends to be Elton’s and David’s guests at their home to watch a movie together and join … (read more)

Posted: 30th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Some (Optic) Nerve

“BIG BRO LEA IS SECRET ALKY,” screams the front page of the Star and we are shocked. Lea drinks a bottle of “cheap” vodka every day. But – get this … (read more)

Posted: 30th, June 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Women Have Been Ad

"ADVERTISING tries to reflect the culture," says Linda Kaplan, president and chief executive of the New York-based Kaplan/Thaler Group. "It’s a mini-hologram of what’s going on." And what is going … (read more)

Posted: 30th, June 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Taking Michael

England’s Sol Campbell has negotiated a move to Portsmouth (Express)
Portugal’s Phil Scolari is favourite to become Real Madrid’s next coach (Sun)
Manchester United will off Tottenham more then £15million … (read more)

Posted: 30th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Water Fronts

WHILE Posh was having an Indian woman’s old hair glued to her head, the rest of the Wags were in Germany. Victoria may well be “TOO POSH TO SPLASH!” as … (read more)

Posted: 30th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


A Poker Face

“OH Harry, give us a kiss!” The flame-haired Prince pauses. Natalie Pinkham, 28, a TV presenter, is standing at the top of some steps. She and Harry have been at … (read more)

Posted: 29th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Politics & Football

Quotes Of The Day “It is a tough job. They get paid peanuts compared with the players who spend so much of their time abusing them, tricking then, and generally … (read more)

Posted: 29th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Fat Chance

“I’LL have the fat pig burger with a side order of obesity onion rings and blue cheese dressing smoothie. And to eat I’ll have the same with extra cheese and … (read more)

Posted: 29th, June 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Kate’s Clean Slate

MUD sticks. And cocaine gets caught in your nasal hairs. And so it is that Kate Moss remains “cocaine Kate” in the Sun. Of course, Kate is in the clear … (read more)

Posted: 29th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Curran’s Fun

WE’VE seen the jinking runs among the clothes racks, marvelled at the deft link up play and the heard the roar of the shop’s staff as another footballer’s wife fills … (read more)

Posted: 29th, June 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment


Swapping Shirts

Winners We’ve seen the countless shots of attractive females in the crowd. But one fan has been inducing women at the games to go further. Claiming to be from an … (read more)

Posted: 29th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Fatal Distraction

TWO weeks ago, Tim Henman said that he enjoys playing at Wimbledon during the World Cup because it’s “a fun distraction for both the public and myself”. Sadly, all good … (read more)

Posted: 29th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


A Lucky Zucker

WAS it the Mail’s shots of Victoria Beckham’s “bald” patch that caused Her Poshness to fly 550 miles to have her locks seen to? Whatever the reasons for making the … (read more)

Posted: 29th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Keep It Real, Madrid

Spurs will finally secure the services of Ivory Coasts’s Didier Zokora from St Etienne for around £5.7m (Independent)
Benfica have invited Liverpool to make a revised bid for Portugal’s Simao … (read more)

Posted: 29th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Keeping Up With The Neighbours

Aisleyne or Snoozie? Who goes? Who moves next door? Who doesn’t already know? Aisleyne may have teeth only previously seen biting into bright green apples on averts for denture fixatives … (read more)

Posted: 29th, June 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Mother Me Baby One More Time

SHE’S got the money. She’s got the fame. She’s got the looks. Ok, two out of three ain’t bad. And for most of us it would be more than enough … (read more)

Posted: 28th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


A Thinspiration

“SHE is horribly thin – you can see all her ribs – and she is not normal.” Dr Dee Dawson of London’s Rhodes Farm clinic is right. She is not … (read more)

Posted: 28th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Getting Up Her Nose

JOIN us now for a look at Tara Palmer-Tomkinson’s nose. Being a “telly toff”, Tara has, naturally, got her nose pushed high into the air, enabling her to look down … (read more)

Posted: 28th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Just Hot Air

“BORING, weary, lethargic, full of hot air, long balls, a lonely striker and a star midfield player who gave us a goal and a pile of vomit.” That’s the verdict … (read more)

Posted: 28th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment