Making It Legal

AFTER the disappointment of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez’s cancelled wedding, and Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn’s protracted will-they-won’t-they nuptials, finally we get to see a top Hollywood actress marry. … (read more)

Posted: 26th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Play House

“AND what do you do,” asks the Queen. “I’m a Postman, ma’am,” comes the reply. And we can vouch for his honesty. The man standing on the lawns at Buckingham … (read more)

Posted: 26th, June 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Desperately Yours

JESSE Metcalfe. It’s hard to place the man. We look at his face but nothing comes to mind. The more we look, the less we know. Jesse seems nice enough, … (read more)

Posted: 26th, June 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

Four & Five

It’s just no good. No amount of careful editing can make this bunch appealing. Take Pete out of the house and you have the dullest bunch of wannabes since Big … (read more)

Posted: 26th, June 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment

The Gloves Are Off

MORE from the Mail’s “They’re Just Like You And Me” campaign. Having made us baulk at Michael Douglas’s turkey neck, belch at Julia Roberts’ underarm hair and gag at Kate … (read more)

Posted: 26th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Sick & Tired

“SICK OF WAITING FOR A SVEN-SATION,” says the Star’s big Cheese Brian Woolnough, or “Woolly” as he is known to his fellow hacks when his immaculate coiffeur appears on the … (read more)

Posted: 26th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

Duff Deals

Spurs are looking to sell Jermaine Defoe and sign Obafemi Martins (People) West Ham are winning the race to sign Fulham’s Steed Malbranque (News of the World) Spurs will bid … (read more)

Posted: 25th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

Brief Encounters

As Shahbaz returns to his life as an amoeba, he may like to note that life can return to what it was before he crashed and burnt so horribly.Back on … (read more)

Posted: 25th, June 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment

The Double Bluff

GIVEN that football is about getting the ball into the opposition’s net, reading on the Mail’s front page that England are “CONFUSED” is more than a little worrying. Thus far … (read more)

Posted: 25th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

Dropping Off

Quotes Of The Day “We cannot tolerate a situation where an association participating in a World Cup causes a kerfuffle that they [Togo] have” – Fifa president Sepp Blatter displays … (read more)

Posted: 25th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

Kissing Up

Winners The German police have been a marvel. And now they have helped a young American fan find his hotel. After the Poland v Costa Rica match the American abroad … (read more)

Posted: 25th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

Summit About Nothing

FAMOUS meetings in history Part 4: Jennifer Aniston encounters Angelina Jolie in a dark alley. After Edgar Allan Poe and Charles Dickens, Stanley and Dr Livingstone, and King Kong and … (read more)

Posted: 25th, June 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

Mikey Is Sahin

At last the truth is ours. And we owe Mikey an apology. The front page of today’s Star newspaper reveals that Mikey is impossible to understand because he is speaking … (read more)

Posted: 25th, June 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Hitting The Bar

Winners Flavio of Angola has won a special prize for scoring his country’s first ever goal in a World Cup finals. He is now the proud owner of a new … (read more)

Posted: 24th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

Oranges & Felons

SATURDAY’S news that over 100 England fans had been arrested for behaving badly in Stuttgart made us blanch, or at least turn a lighter shade of orange. How many of … (read more)

Posted: 24th, June 2006 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Sven’s Lucky Seven

“WAYNE’S ready. Are you?” Who needs the former twinkle-eyed BBC presenter Des Lynam to deliver inviting teasers onto the box when you can have headlines like that, and on the … (read more)

Posted: 24th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

Expressionately Yours

IS it better not to be understood than it is to be incomprehensible? Is it better to be Nikkkki and Lea, or Mikey? Nikkki has already, as readers of Anorak … (read more)

Posted: 24th, June 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Talking Shop

Quotes Of The Day “Although David Beckham is the skipper, he isn’t the most vocal player. That’s normally Gary Neville… But that lasts for no more than a couple of … (read more)

Posted: 24th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

Snapping Up Camera

Newcastle are interested in signing Wigan striker Henri Camera (Star) Neil Lennon has agreed to remain at Celtic for another season (Mirror) Ruud van Nistelrooy wants to meet Manchester United … (read more)

Posted: 24th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

Thai Style

“SHE softly snaps her fingers, and it seems as if each carp, as it swims around, understands exactly who she is. ‘No more, she gently chides the exotic fish…’” Who … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, June 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

Here Comes The Bride…

HERE COMES the bride, eight feet wide, walks in the church and gets stuck on the other side. Welcome to the wedding of Carly O’Brien and Michael Coffey. And get … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Risking It All

WITH Saddam Hussein behind bars, Victoria Beckham no longer making music and Anthea Turner banished to satellite TV the papers target a new enemy. The Independent’s front page spots its … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, June 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

This Year’s Orange (Peel)

HAVING exposed Michael Douglas’s haggard neck and Julia Roberts’s chinchilla armpits, the Mail now gawps at Kate Moss’s legs. “How Kate legged it,” says the Mail’s headline above a shot … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Swapsies

MARIA de la Cruz is Ecuador’s “answer to Posh Spice,” say both the Mirror and Sun. Question marks have long hung over Posh – Does she eat? Can she sing? … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Urban Fairytales

LEST anyone doubt Nicole Kidman’s Australian credentials, let it be known that her mother is called Janelle. And also know that Nicole is to be married to Keith Urban in … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

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