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Soldier admits killing policeman

Michael Owen is out of the World Cup and flying back to England after rupturing his anterior cruciate knee ligament in the 2-2 draw with Sweden. A scan on Wednesday … (read more)

Posted: 21st, June 2006 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Two Prezzas

BEFORE John Prescott came to the fore, David King was just another burly man with a side parting. Then Prescott arrived on our TV screens. Not only did the Deputy … (read more)

Posted: 21st, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Street Walking

AFTER the tale of Two John Prescotts, the Mirror sticks with its own story of confused identities. Someone should tell the paper that Coronation Street actor Craig Charles is not … (read more)

Posted: 21st, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Mr Mackem Goes To Washington

WHAT does it mean to be city? And why do places like Sunderland want to be one? Does it make them feel equal to London, Paris and Rome? Do the … (read more)

Posted: 21st, June 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Kiss Goodbye To The World Cup

Quotes Of The Day

“We’re going to war. You can’t fight a war worrying about your wife or child. You give them a holiday before the tournament but for one month, … (read more)

Posted: 20th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

The Bitch

“Bring it on! Bring it on! I can deal with it. There are a lot of TV agents who want to sign me up.” So says Graceless Grace, who is … (read more)

Posted: 20th, June 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment

West Ham & Porkies

Quotes Of The Day

German journalist to T&T midfielder Densill Theobald: “So, Densill, do you miss the beach?”
Theobald: “What are you talking about? I play in Falkirk”

“Goalkeepers never like the ball. … (read more)

Posted: 20th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

West Ham & Porkies

Quotes Of The Day

German journalist to T&T midfielder Densill Theobald: “So, Densill, do you miss the beach?”
Theobald: “What are you talking about? I play in Falkirk”

“Goalkeepers never like the ball. … (read more)

Posted: 20th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

West Ham & Porkies

Quotes Of The Day

German journalist to T&T midfielder Densill Theobald: “So, Densill, do you miss the beach?”
Theobald: “What are you talking about? I play in Falkirk”

“Goalkeepers never like the ball. … (read more)

Posted: 20th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

A Proper Charlie

DRUGS can really change you.

Looking at the picture, we note that her hair is no longer blonde and shiny. Her skin is darker and hairy. Gone is the elfin … (read more)

Posted: 20th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Celebrity Colonialism

BRAD Pitt and Angelina Jolie might have saved the planet, but they are now under attack.

As the Mirror reports, Namibia’s National Society for Human Rights has accused the stars of … (read more)

Posted: 20th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Ship Shape

“BADGE!” barks the security services drone at the chunky red, yellow and blue gates of Berkshire’s Legoland attraction.

The youngster hands over the item. The guard scrutinises it. He hands it … (read more)

Posted: 20th, June 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Hammering Home The Message

IF Jade Goody were a tool, what tool would she be?

We could expand the question into the greater world of light entertainment, and perhaps make an animated series featuring our … (read more)

Posted: 20th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Guts & Garters

THE Mail carries no pictures of Prince Eddie (The Weed In Tweed) being enrolled into the Order of the Garter, Britain’s highest order of chivalry.

But being gallant, courteous and chivalrous, … (read more)

Posted: 20th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

StandardsAre Slipping

THEY’RE just like us. Those celebrities are no better than you and me.

Take a look at Michael Douglas in the Mail. Sure he has a “remarkably wrinkle-free face”, but he … (read more)

Posted: 20th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Should He Stay Or Should He Go?

Former England player Nicky Butt is to join Sheffield United for £500,000 (Mirror)

Portsmouth are interested in Lens striker Oliver Thomert (Mirror)

Manchester City will sign Quinton Fortune a deal if … (read more)

Posted: 20th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

Not Match Fit

WinnersAustralian Prime Minister John Howard wants employers to go easy on their football loving staff. Such is the time difference between Germany and Down Under that fans of the Socceroos … (read more)

Posted: 20th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

The Best Laid Plans Of FIFA & Sven

Sven Goran Eriksson, we are told, is a national hero in Sweden. Indeed, such is the Swedish infatuation and awe for the English game, and so honoured are the Swedes … (read more)

Posted: 20th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

Now He’s 64

LIKE you we had planned to celebrate Paul McCartney’s 64th birthday by going bald, digging the weeds and sending him a postcard stating our point of view that he is … (read more)

Posted: 19th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Get Our Rocks Off

WE are used to seeing the great and good trotting up to charity dos and other worthy events dressed in the finest jewels.

But jewellers who loan their trinkets out should … (read more)

Posted: 19th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Window On United

Newcastle and West Ham are in the hunt for Fulham’s Steed Malbranque (Mail)

Celtic want to sign Japan midfielder Hidetoshi Nakata (Sun)

Wigan want to offer a new contract to … (read more)

Posted: 19th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

Show Them The Money

Quotes Of The Day

“But it wouldn’t have happened if Brett was bald, would it?” – Gillingham chairman Paul Scally watches Peter Crouch get in a tangle with T&T player Brent … (read more)

Posted: 19th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

A Smallpox On Britain

EVERY day of every week the Mail thinks up imaginative ways to remind you that life is cruel and you are going to experience pain and die. Here is a … (read more)

Posted: 19th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

He’s A Card

Winners

Friends of Michael Blake, a Liverpudlian killed in a car crash, have taken him along to the World Cup. “We couldn’t go without him,” says Scott Macmillan. “He drank with … (read more)

Posted: 19th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

Out Of Order

ANYONE seen Anna Kournikova?

It’s just that at this time of year it is customary for newspaper editors to remind men that the Wimbledon tennis tournament is almost upon us.

For female … (read more)

Posted: 19th, June 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

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