Anorak

| Anorak - Part 40

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No Prizes For Entertainment

“FOR me, the problem with the English is that they are very arrogant.”

Who do you think was responsible for the above quote from today’s Mirror? The ‘for me’ bit … (read more)

Posted: 19th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Royal Guffs

PRINCE Philip has often been accused of talking out of his trousers. And yesterday his trousers cracked a joke.

We are unsure what was said, only that when the Royal Family … (read more)

Posted: 19th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Coup De Grace

If this is Big Brother’s very own Watergate scandal, who is ‘Deep Throat’, the grass who tells all?

When Grace threw a glass of water over Snoozie, the housemates wondered if … (read more)

Posted: 19th, June 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Out Of Order

ANYONE seen Anna Kournikova?

It’s just that at this time of year it is customary for newspaper editors to remind men that the Wimbledon tennis tournament is almost upon us.

For female … (read more)

Posted: 19th, June 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Get Our Rocks Off

WE are used to seeing the great and good trotting up to charity dos and other worthy events dressed in the finest jewels.

But jewellers who loan their trinkets out should … (read more)

Posted: 19th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


He’s A Card

Winners

Friends of Michael Blake, a Liverpudlian killed in a car crash, have taken him along to the World Cup. “We couldn’t go without him,” says Scott Macmillan. “He drank with … (read more)

Posted: 19th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Pair Of Snoozie’s, Guv’nor

“There was always a shock when she go her t**** out,” says a regular of London’s Nag’s Head pub in the Sun, “one was much higher than the other. She … (read more)

Posted: 18th, June 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment


A Khan Do Attitude

Quotes Of The Day

“Our hands and faces were blue at time, it was that cold” – A fan tells us about his journey by bike from Uzbekistan to Berlin to … (read more)

Posted: 18th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Real Deals

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger is in talks to become Real Madrid’s new manager (News of the World)

Chelsea are interested in signing Spain striker Fernando Torres (Mail)

Birmingham’s Emile Heskey … (read more)

Posted: 18th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Seeing Red

“BLOOD BATH,” screams the Sunday Times’s headline, and a chill runs through us.

The truth is somewhat less terrible than an entire bath full of blood, as Italy’s Daniele … (read more)

Posted: 18th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Trying To Be Funny

ON Monday the Mirror told us that Heather Mills McCartney, aka Lady Mucca, had spent an hour talking to her estranged husband, Paul McCartney, on the telephone. They had discussed … (read more)

Posted: 18th, June 2006 | In: Broadsheets | Comment


Das Boot

Winners

Croatia are ready to bang some heads when they play Japan today. British rockers Deep Purple played a special concert outside the team’s hotel.

David Beckham has gotten too big … (read more)

Posted: 18th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Toilet Training

Winners

Danny from Amsterdam entered a competition to win tickets for the World Cup final. All he needed to do was stay awake longer than anyone else. And he did, going … (read more)

Posted: 17th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Spot The Dot

“WAS this the best World Cup goal ever?” ask the Times on the cover of its “THE GAME” football supplement.

Well, Peter Crouch did rise like very long salmon to head … (read more)

Posted: 17th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


A Torres Time

Despite his injury, Marseille still want to sign Liverpool striker Djibril Cisse (Guardian)

Liverpool are willing to pay £6m for Blackburn striker Craig Bellamy (Mail)

West Ham are interested in … (read more)

Posted: 17th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Do Or Die

Quotes Of The Day

“I’ve had one chance in the game, with my head, and I’m kicking myself because I didn’t score it” – Michael Owen improves his strike rate

“We have … (read more)

Posted: 17th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Bib & Tucker

“COME ON ENGLAND,” exhorts the message on Kingston James McGregor Rossdale’s bib.

It’s a wonderful piece of clothing. And what with the short hair and demands to be fed a liquid … (read more)

Posted: 17th, June 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment


For Whom The Chimes Chime

Chelsea’s troubled defender Glen Johnson is set to join Portsmouth on loan next season after rejecting a transfer to PSV Eindhoven (Express)

Paris St Germain are looking to sign Newcastle … (read more)

Posted: 16th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


West Ham & Porkies

Quotes Of The Day

German journalist to T&T midfielder Densill Theobald: “So, Densill, do you miss the beach?”
Theobald: “What are you talking about? I play in Falkirk”

“Goalkeepers never like the ball. … (read more)

Posted: 16th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


The Groucho Club

YOU join us in the Egyptian Hall in the City of London’s Mansion House, the Lord Mayor’s official residence.

A long table (possibly a few tables joined together) has been … (read more)

Posted: 16th, June 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Weighty Issues

Winners

Holland coach Marco van Basten wants to repeat the performances that won the Dutch the 1988 European Championship. Back then, the Dutch team attended a Whitney Houston gig. If they … (read more)

Posted: 16th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Kit ‘N’ Heels

ENGLAND football fans are not all shaven headed and overweight. Really they are not.

The Mirror has photographic evidence to support our theory.

There’s the supporter on the paper’s Page … (read more)

Posted: 16th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


The Sand Catcher

“IS pregnant beach girl Britney right to sunbathe?” asks the Mail.

Looking at the picture of a voluminous Britney Spears reclining on a Malibu beach, we see the problem. The risk … (read more)

Posted: 16th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


The Mother Of All Housemates

Grace is 50-1 on to be evicted from the Big Brother house.

A spokesman for bookmakers William Hill says: “Grace makes Sezer look popular.”

That’s quite some achievement – Sezer … (read more)

Posted: 16th, June 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Pregnant Paws

“IT was the happiest day of my life and we’re going to start trying for another baby in a year’s time.” So says Penny Lancaster of the birth of her … (read more)

Posted: 16th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment