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Oz & Them

Quotes Of The Day

“The start of 32 years of bad luck, missed opportunities, and false dawns for a team and sport considered by many Australians as suitable only for Sheilas, … (read more)

Posted: 14th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

Grace & Favours

While we, the world at large and even Grace wonder why no-one likes her, the Graceless one serves up the quote of the week.

Discussing Suzie (aka bitching and … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Visiting Hours

WHAT do we make of Heather Mills’s midnight dash to the London home of her estranged husband Sir Paul McCartney?

The Mirror says it is her first visit to the townhouse … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Stars Of Wonder

IF only Jesus Christ had been blessed with parents as savvy in the ways of the world as Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt.

Jesus was saddled with Mary and a carpenter … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

Suspend Jade

YOU may not have noticed as temperatures soared and all eyes were on England’s World Cup heroines but the humble stocking ‘n’ suspenders are under threat.

So much so that the … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Football’s United Nations

Quotes Of The Day

“To get the goals is the icing on the cake. We look to moments like these from when we were kids dreaming of this situation” – Australia’s … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

Roy Of The Mackems

Manchester United have upped their offer to £15million for Spurs midfielder Michael Carrick (Telegraph)

Ruud van Nistelrooy has kissed and made up with Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson (Star) … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

Crunch Time For Crouch & Co

“GROUP B CRUNCH – 2 DAYS TO GO,” announces the Sun, in an attempt to generate some much-needed breakfast table excitement. But the truth is that with two matches still … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

Tanning Policy

WHAT little of your tax is left from the prize fund at the annual Civil Service Naked Breakdancing Competition is at least being put to good use.

The Sun says for … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

X Factor: London Mayor

“SOMEWHERE in London, there’s a mayor in the making. If it’s you, please consider applying today.”

Welcome to X Factor: London Mayor. David Cameron, a kind of foppish Simon Cowell … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Kiss Me Katty

Winners

Ecuador’s players enjoying their victory over Poland were delighted to get an unexpected surprise – a kiss from Miss Ecuador, the distinctly kissable Katty Lopez. She kissed each team member … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

Naked Civil Servants

“AS farmers waited for cash, staff leapt from filing cabinets in the nude.”

Others held a breakdancing competition rather than tackle the backlog of Single Farm Payments.

In the toilets, couples had … (read more)

Posted: 13th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Where’s ‘Arry

GLYN is fed up. There are too many Londoners in the house – “d’yer know what I mean.”

And Londoners are just awful because they talk “London” – “d’yer know … (read more)

Posted: 12th, June 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment

An Enigma Wrapped In A Mystery Wrapped In A Swede

“ENGLAND players perplexed by Eriksson’s substitutions,” announces the Guardian’s sport supplement, explaining that “England’s senior players” are beginning to express doubts about the enigmatic Swede’s bizarre tactics and selections.

So who … (read more)

Posted: 12th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

Paying The Price

“HEATHER: I’M NOT A PROSTITUTE.”

That’s the news on the front page of the Mirror. The paper hears a “distraught” Heather Mills McCartney wail: “I’m no prostitute.”

We read that Heather spent … (read more)

Posted: 12th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Tub Of Love

“LOTTE IS HOT FOR HER GAV.”

So says the Star. The paper has a shot of Charlotte Church (black bikini) standing alongside boyfriend Gavin Henson (black shorts, orange skin).

And the news … (read more)

Posted: 12th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Ladies Night

THE hangover from England’s weekend opener can be felt in the Sun.

“England get through…” says the paper’s front-page headline “…7 BOTTLES OF CHAMPAGNE, 12 BEERS, 9 VODKA RED BULLS, 14 … (read more)

Posted: 12th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Chasing Shadows

Manchester United have made offers totalling £45million for midfielders Michael Carrick, Aldo Duscher and Mahamadou Diarra (Star)

Birmingham will complete the signing of Tottenham defender Stephen Kelly (Sun)

Portsmouth manager Harry … (read more)

Posted: 12th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

Shooting From The Lip

Quotes Of The Day

“Because I can” – USA goalkeeper Marcus Hahnemann explains why when at home in Seattle he carries a handgun

“If we had attacked them from the start, we … (read more)

Posted: 12th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

Learning To Be Funny

NOT everyone can be Hale & Pace. But that doesn’t mean wannabe comedians should stop trying.

Indeed, they should try harder. And we at Anorak champion Funnyman Idol, a show … (read more)

Posted: 12th, June 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Now You’re Ghana Believe Us

Winners

In anticipation of the arrival of England’s footballers’ wives and lovers, the Gucci and Hermes shops close to the team’s hotel have ordered in an extra £200,000 of clothes.

The World … (read more)

Posted: 12th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

Stretching The Truth

“INSIDE Katie Holmes’ STRETCH Marks.”

Sensation indeed. And made no less newsworthy when we do as the Enquire does and insert an exclamation mark after that “INSIDE!”.

Moving inside – the magazine, … (read more)

Posted: 12th, June 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

Jack Him In

FOR those of you unable to make it to Baden Baden to party with the England footballers’ wives and girlfriends last Saturday, there was always Jade’s 25th birthday party.

The Sun … (read more)

Posted: 12th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

A Polish Apple A Day

A LOOK at the things that will kill you and yours from last week’s Mail – the paper of doom…

Monday

“Why English apples are under threat” – Asylum seekers? MRSA? No. … (read more)

Posted: 11th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Me & My Nans

“I HAD boobs like my nan!”

That’s what Jade Goody is telling OK!, and we are unable to agree or disagree.

What with this being the girl who famously compared her … (read more)

Posted: 11th, June 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

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