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Model Behaviour

“IT’S time to end the clichés about Germany,” says Claudia Schiffer.

Schiffer, a German and, surprisingly to some not dressed in a pair of patent leather boots, slapping a small whip … (read more)

Posted: 8th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

Over The Roon

Quotes Of The Day

“I have never used my father for nepotism to boost my career” – Serbia & Montenegro’s Dusan Petkovic, son of team manager Ilija

“Wayne Rooney will be fit … (read more)

Posted: 8th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

Sol Long

Barcelona are in the hunt for Chelsea’s Frank Lampard. The Spanish side are prepared to offer Portuguese player Deco and cash (Sun)

Arsenal and Tottenham are both interested in French left-back … (read more)

Posted: 8th, June 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

Imogen Scores…Again

“BB BABE’S WORLD CUP SEX HAT-TRICK,” announces the Star’s front page. “Imogen’s secret romps with England ace (and Portugal and Trinidad & Tobago!).”

We will explore which England player … (read more)

Posted: 8th, June 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Going Dutch

THE repackaging of Ronan Keating goes on.

Earlier in the week, we heard that the former Boyzone singer had taken drugs.

“I think people would be shocked if they heard Ronan … (read more)

Posted: 8th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Bad Omens

Well, not all. As the Sun reports, on the sixth day of the sixth month of the sixth year – 6-6-6 – Damien entered the world.

Weighing six lb six … (read more)

Posted: 7th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Addicted To Love

For anyone who’s not been paying attention, Russell is the gauche TV presenter of a Big Brother magazine show.

He is also Kate Moss’s post-Pete Doherty squeeze. Or was? As … (read more)

Posted: 7th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Self Help Books

The curly hair, the pouting chest and the Germanic bent suggests that the man could be David Hasselhoff, or at least related to the saviour of the Western world.

Very … (read more)

Posted: 7th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Daddy Knows Best

Richard has a nice wonky-toothed English smile, eyes that sparkle like a glass of Asti Spumante and dimples reminiscent of Jade Goody in her pomp.

And Richard has every reason … (read more)

Posted: 7th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Sitting Down On The Job

As the Times reports, what can only loosely be called a race to become the first Speaker of the House in its 600-year history is being contested by nine runners … (read more)

Posted: 7th, June 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Der Mascot

As the Mirror’s front page says, today is the day when the finest medical brains look at Wayne Rooney’s foot and say whether or not he is fit to play … (read more)

Posted: 7th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Hen House

This question appears in the Star. And we want you to guess the answer. Is it a) a date with Page 3 stunna Nikkkiii; b) a round of applause; or … (read more)

Posted: 7th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

A New Messiah

And on Monday the papers were full of the news that Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt was among us. Hallelujah!

All the papers said that Shiloh is Hebrew for Messiah, while Nouvel … (read more)

Posted: 6th, June 2006 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

A Class Apart

She was able to asks “Am I bovvered?” in at least three languages (Jafakin’ [faux Jamaican], Mockney and rudimentary English).

She had championed the school’s dress code – rolled up … (read more)

Posted: 6th, June 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Adult Education

And Paul McCartney agrees. As the Sun reports on its front page (“Macca agony at lady Mucca”), before seeing the pictures and learning what his wife got up in the … (read more)

Posted: 6th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Foul Play

So says Nancy Dell’Olio, who is refusing to go quietly as her boyfriend Sven Goran Eriksson prepares for life after the England manger’s job.

The Telegraph has seen Nancy’s interview … (read more)

Posted: 6th, June 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

A Wing & A Prayer

It’s the Mail’s “Metatarsal Miracle”. No, make that the “THE GREAT METATARSAL MIRACLE”. The Mail feels a need to differentiate between this miracle and that other miracle.

It was way … (read more)

Posted: 6th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Picture Postcard

Had Vincent Van Gogh painted a couple more Irises in his famously expensive painting (sold at auction for $49 million in 1987) would it have been worth more? What about … (read more)

Posted: 6th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Real Stars

The Star has a picture of Lucy looking busty and chuffed as she accepts the joyous news from the show’s host Kate Thornton.

While beaten Radio One DJ Chris Moyles … (read more)

Posted: 6th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Devil Of A Day

June is worried because today is 6/6/6. This, as the Mail tells it readers, is the “Devil’s number”. The number of the beast is 666.

For good measure, it is … (read more)

Posted: 6th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

35 Til I Die

Has Lea had a birthday while in the Big Brother house?

Positioned in the garden like some fiendish inflatable, Lea said she was 36. When she went in the house … (read more)

Posted: 6th, June 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Lea On Top

We at Anorak did not stay in the Diary Room long enough to count but the Mirror did.

The paper says that when told she had broken the rules and would … (read more)

Posted: 5th, June 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment

She’z-a Seezer

Imogen has set out to prove that with or without her pet Sezer she is just the same girl at heart, and brain.

Sezer is gone, and Imogen has once … (read more)

Posted: 4th, June 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Pain Killers

Here is a selection of things that will kill you and yours from last week’s paper of doom…

“The lawyers are destroying not only marriage…but our very sense of justice” … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, June 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Death By Lea

Poor Sezer.

Having been evicted from the house by the biggest margin ever, he then found himself trapped in a place where few dare to go and from where no … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, June 2006 | In: Celebrities | Comment

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