Anorak

- Author Archive

Air Waves

‘“ELIZABETH THE GREAT,” says the Mail’s front page, saluting the woman who is pictured reading one of the 20,000 cards she has received. “Long may she rule,” says the paper. … (read more)

Posted: 21st, April 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

The Sum Of Things To Come

”THERE are many factors which affect why people do or do not vote, including demographics, attitudes and experiences.” So says Dr Cliff Arnal of Cardiff University. Find love at your … (read more)

Posted: 21st, April 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Ein Song Fur Europe

‘“ZING VEN YOU’RE WINNING,” says the Star, a finger shoved under its nose as is stifling a derisory snort. ‘Ve von ze Cup’ … (read more)

Posted: 20th, April 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment

Dumb Animals

‘WAYNE went with thirty mates in matching T-shirts, novelty hats and hoola skirts to Slovakia and all he got was blind drunk, sick and lost. The Ambassador always threw the … (read more)

Posted: 20th, April 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Sheikh Rattle & Roll

‘BEFORE bird flu, Iran’s nuclear ambitions and Anthea Turner, there was Michael Jackson. ‘I’m too sexy for my burkah..’ … (read more)

Posted: 20th, April 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Stars & Their Cars

‘YESTERDAY we read how a car driven by actor Orlando Bloom had collided with a swimming instructor on a scooter. Where’s it hurt, Shayne? … (read more)

Posted: 20th, April 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Spitting The Dummy

‘BOOK the birthing therapist. News is that Katie Holmes spat the specially made adult-sized dummy Tom Cruise had had made for her and screamed “Get me to a hospital now!” … (read more)

Posted: 20th, April 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Bad Karma Chameleon

‘BY now you should have received your postal ballot for the local elections. You may even have lots of them. Vote now and vote often, as the saying goes. Vote … (read more)

Posted: 20th, April 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

No Defence

‘“THIS is the picture that will horrify Arsenal soccer chief,” write the Sun, and we are concerned. ‘One nil to the Arsenal’ … (read more)

Posted: 19th, April 2006 | In: Broadsheets | Comments (3)

Cheque Mate

‘“I WAS looking through my chequebook and I noticed some were missing,” says Jade Goody. “Where the cheques are numbered like 003, 004, I noticed a jump to 006 then … (read more)

Posted: 19th, April 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

War of Mrs Merkel’s Rear

‘IS it war? We’ve had the War of Jenkins’ Ear, a war sparked by a Honduras v El Salvador football match (the El Salvadorans lost 1-0) and assorted wars with … (read more)

Posted: 19th, April 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Making His Points

‘IF it’s not George Michael allegedly driving into cars, it’s Orlando Bloom using his vehicle to knock a scooter rider off his bike. Bloom spots a jogger … (read more)

Posted: 19th, April 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Little Girl Lost

‘RACHEL Weisz, Brooke Shields and Gwen Stefani are all pregnant. Not that you’d notice, because looming large over all of them like some gigantic spaceship is Katie Holmes. Cruise and … (read more)

Posted: 19th, April 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

Careless Driver

‘“DRUGS COULD KILL GEORGE,” thunders the Mirror’s front page, and we fear this is all too true. Car Parky … (read more)

Posted: 19th, April 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Bed & Bored

‘“ANGIE BANS BRAD FROM HER BED!” Turning her back on the US Shock of shocks. Not only … (read more)

Posted: 19th, April 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

Roots Of Doom

‘IT is nothing less than the end of an era – Jennifer Aniston is going grey.A photograph in the Enquirer shows Jennifer rocking up to a premier in Los Angeles … (read more)

Posted: 19th, April 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

Reasons To Be Cheerful

‘FROM life in Bermuda we move on to what passes for life in the “Bermuda triangle” of love between Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. If you want to … (read more)

Posted: 18th, April 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

Liquidising The Enemy

‘NEWS that the swan found dead in Scotland had contracted deadly bird flu in Germany was heartening. A toad … (read more)

Posted: 18th, April 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Flushed With Love

‘“CATHERINE Zeta Jones needs no introduction,” says OK! at the start to an interview headed: “CATHERINE ZETA JONES.” ‘We’ll put this in the little boys’ room’ … (read more)

Posted: 18th, April 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

Beach Ball

‘“ARE BRAD AND ANGELINA ABOUT TO MARRY IN NAMIBIA?” asks the Mirror. ‘Whadya mean the Pope’s not coming?’ … (read more)

Posted: 18th, April 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Wavy Davy

‘REMEMBER Lee Davy and Sophie Pritchard? They were the first couple to meet on Big Brother and then get married. Theirs is a cautionary tale for Chantelle and Preston to … (read more)

Posted: 18th, April 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

The Silence of the Lamb

‘SO much for the Silence of the Lambs. The biggest horror story playing in Hollywood is The Silence of Katie Holmes. The actress is to give birth in silence and … (read more)

Posted: 18th, April 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Oil Unwell

‘EVERY day of every week the Mail thinks up imaginative ways to remind you that life is cruel and you are going to experience pain and die. Here is a … (read more)

Posted: 15th, April 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Telling Tales

‘IF you look round the poker table and you can’t see the mug then the mug is you. Your best course of action is to quit before things get worse … (read more)

Posted: 15th, April 2006 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Anorak International

‘YOUNG Old Mr Anorak was happy to see that Anorak has made it onto the television. Taking a break from watching videos of the Thai women’s ping pong team going … (read more)

Posted: 15th, April 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

Contact Us Writers