Anorak

| Anorak - Part 50

- Author Archive

The Morning Star

‘MYLENE Klass “would kill” to live five minutes from the beach. The recording artiste grew up in Norfolk and really misses the way of life. Preparing to serve … (read more)

Posted: 14th, April 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment


Black Arts

‘IF it is computer wizardry, airbrushing or some other black art, we cannot say, but there on the cover of Hello! is a shot of Victoria Beckham using skis to, … (read more)

Posted: 14th, April 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment


Retirement Age

‘HAS it really been 26 years since the movie Nine To Five hit the silver screen? Works in progress … (read more)

Posted: 14th, April 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment


Through The Gates

‘THE Anorak Festival of music promises to be a truly awesome event. We’ve already lined up some great acts. Exit Gates … (read more)

Posted: 13th, April 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Seeing Is Believing

‘“I JUST picked up something and knew at that moment she was pregnant because I notice things in people.” That’s what Tom Cruise has to say about the second he … (read more)

Posted: 13th, April 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Collision Course

‘WHAT a relief. Scientists have proved that the bird found dead on the coast of Scotland is a swan and that it did not die over here. Worst case of … (read more)

Posted: 13th, April 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


A Granny Day Out

‘YOU know how it is. There you are all dressed up in your sexy uniform ready to parade before the masses when you notice your grandma in the audience. … (read more)

Posted: 13th, April 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Closer To God

‘BEFORE the resurrection must come the death by a thousand cuts. Not that Tony Blair’s making many cuts, spending more than $130,000 of taxpayer’s money on his family’s holidays, but … (read more)

Posted: 12th, April 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Running Out

‘THE drive to get us to grass up a water hog has tapped into our inner snitch. (See: Anorak “Water Fools”.) Join Anorak’s Shower A Jogger campaign … (read more)

Posted: 12th, April 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Jordan’s Hits

‘THIS is awful news. No, it’s not that Britney Spear’s seven-month-old son Sean has suffered a fractured skull after falling from his high chair. That is terrible. We wish the … (read more)

Posted: 12th, April 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Marital Arts

‘YOU can always spot a newly married couple by they way they carry their his ‘n’ hers yoga mats. Release! … (read more)

Posted: 12th, April 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Guard Of Dishonour

‘SLAP your warpaint on and get ready for the bash of the season. Yes, folks, as the Mail says, tonight is the ball to mark Prince Harry’s graduation from Sandhurst … (read more)

Posted: 12th, April 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


One Over The After Eight

‘“JESSIE snorted coke for breakfast,” says the Sun’s front-page headline. Also available in orange This is … (read more)

Posted: 11th, April 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Drugs Abuse

‘HOW are you feeling today? Not too clever, eh. Let’s take a look at that tongue. And while you’re at it, can you produce a sample of both poo and … (read more)

Posted: 11th, April 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Pilot Error

‘“I AM now waiting for the man with the hammer to arrive,” says the driver of the Tube train stuck in a tunnel outside London’s Queens Park Tube station. “He … (read more)

Posted: 11th, April 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


The Thick Of The Action

‘“ROONEY should remember the inviolable rule of bookmaking – a losing punter always pays his debts”. So says The Mail’s Paul Hayward. ‘Why can’t you be addicted to shopping like … (read more)

Posted: 11th, April 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Film School

‘LOOK on in wonder as the board rubber sails across the room and makes impressive contact with the wall behind young Armani’s head. ‘You copying my work?’ ‘No, I’m … (read more)

Posted: 11th, April 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Goering Up

‘IS it pronounced ‘Goering’? You’re Goering home in ein St John’s ambulance… We are unsure, and … (read more)

Posted: 10th, April 2006 | In: Back pages | Comment


Undress To Impress

‘PHWAOOR! Show us yer knickers, darlin’. Oops! Prince Harry should take care. That’s no lithe legged lovely – that’s his dad celebrating his first anniversary to the lovely Camilla by … (read more)

Posted: 10th, April 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Water Beds

‘ON Monday, Condoleezza Rice, the US Secretary of State, arrived in the UK with lots of baggage – chiefly the war in Iraq. ‘Those the holes I heard so much … (read more)

Posted: 10th, April 2006 | In: Broadsheets | Comment


His Better Self

‘KNOWING that England football hero Wayne Rooney has his brains firmly laced up in his boots we fear the worst when we hear that the young striker has been inducted … (read more)

Posted: 10th, April 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Gin The Tonic

‘LONDON has bridges. Melton Mowbray has pork pies. Cellardyke has bird flu. And Slough? Slough, that soulless part of Berkshire, is memorable for its smell. Cirrhosis … (read more)

Posted: 10th, April 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Like a Rolling Stone

‘“MAYBE we should slow things down a little.” So says musician Jagger as he and his hand perform before their fans. And Chris had a dream… … (read more)

Posted: 10th, April 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


The Birds

‘DO you still feel like chicken tonight? Bird flu has arrived in Britain. It’s here A … (read more)

Posted: 7th, April 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Oxford Ho!

‘STANDARDS. It is all about standards. And we are less then heartened to learn that the president of the Oxford University Boat Club overdid it after his side’s victory in … (read more)

Posted: 7th, April 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment