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Splitting Up

‘AFTER the romantic wedding, the tales about their wonderful life and undying love, the split and the divorce, Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt finally got down to the serious business … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, February 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

An Explosive Situation

‘STUDY the scene. Take a look at the guns in the Sun’s “SHOTGUN WEDDING”.See the armed police surround the ceremony, hide in bushes and, most chillingly of all, behind gravestones … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, February 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

A Good Egg

‘HAPPY days. Remember Toga the penguin? You know, the black and white bird that sleeps in your freezer of a night. He’s the jackass penguin stolen from Amazon World Zoo … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, February 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

A Healthy Relationship

‘TOM Cruise and Katie Holmes. Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise. The Cruise-Holmes. The Holmes-Cruises. When it comes to Hollywood couples, the billing is so important. ‘Tom. Tom. Anyone seen Tom?’ … (read more)

Posted: 21st, February 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

Unplugged

‘THE popularity of cosmetic surgery in Hollywood is such that when we read the headline “BRIT FALLS APART”, we blanch. That vest in colour … (read more)

Posted: 21st, February 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

Bon Voyage

‘YOU know how it is. There you are minding your own business when up pops an email offering you a larger p4n1s and more Indonesian–farmed Viagra than you can shake … (read more)

Posted: 21st, February 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment

Najaf Garden City

‘“MKWEB are busy installing webcams all around the city to show what a great place Milton Keynes is to live and work.” So says the official website for Milton Keynes, … (read more)

Posted: 21st, February 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Pains In The Neck

‘NO sign of Lesley Ash, the celebrity face of MRSA, in the Mail’s front-page story on how “ONE IN TEN PATIENTS CATCHES AN INFECTION IN HOSPITAL”.The Mail says the chances … (read more)

Posted: 21st, February 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Talking Turkey

‘BIRD flu has lacked a celebrity face. MRSA has Lesley Ash. Breast cancer has Kylie Minogue. Even lowly acne has Cameron Diaz. We could go on. But at no point … (read more)

Posted: 21st, February 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

The Truth Outs

‘“I MADE a mistake when I said there were no gas chambers at Auschwitz,” David Irving told a court in Vienna after pleading guilty to charges of denying the Holocaust … (read more)

Posted: 21st, February 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Let Them Eat Cake

‘BEING a parent is all about making important life-affirming decisions. Makes you sick Do you go … (read more)

Posted: 20th, February 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Climate Of Fear

‘WHAT can we believe? We ask in light of the Times’s front-page headline: “Is our weather really changing?” Wigan 2007 … (read more)

Posted: 20th, February 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Fowl Play

‘AFTER those images of Muhammad, the world awoke on Monday to see the face of another religious figure. And – for shame – the years had not been overly kind … (read more)

Posted: 20th, February 2006 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

A Pox On Chicken

‘WARNING: READING THE DAILY MAIL MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO HEALTH.A selection of things that will kill you and yours from this week’s paper of doom…MONDAY“Is this proof that cot death … (read more)

Posted: 20th, February 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Ruddy Cowboys

‘“BRITISH film-makers are devastated,” says the Sun, and we wonder why? Is it because they’ve realised that British films are a) mawkish provincial flicks sets in mawkish provincial towns; … (read more)

Posted: 20th, February 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Barmy Army

‘OLD sitcom writers never die, they just go and work at the Mail. It’s make yer mind up time … (read more)

Posted: 20th, February 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Stuff The Chickens

‘“BIRD FLU: WILL ALL POULTRY GET JAB?” It’s the Mail’s big front-page question. And there is no easy answer.While we British, a nation of animal lovers, are sensitive to the … (read more)

Posted: 17th, February 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Peck Me Kate

‘HOLD it. Let’s not get carried away. Sure, Romeo kills himself in the end, drinking poison, but he doesn’t really have to it. Fill the deadly vial with Vimto, dear … (read more)

Posted: 17th, February 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Water World

‘WE’D like to build a huge boat. It’s the only way to survive the impending flood. Problem is that by cutting down the trees to make the boat we further … (read more)

Posted: 17th, February 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Marital Aides

‘SO much for the rumours about Tom Cruise’s love life. No, not those rumours, the other rumours, the ones that claim Cruise and Katie Holmes are no longer in love.The … (read more)

Posted: 17th, February 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Princess Of Pop Tarts

‘THE blonde hair. The wayward husband. The weight issues. There is just no getting away from it – Britney Spears and Princess Diana are hewn from the same mould.And it’s … (read more)

Posted: 17th, February 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Brits Of A Do

‘LAST night the British music industry’s AGM was held at the cavernous Earl’s Court Arena in London.Anyone who is anyone in the music business was there to see the stars … (read more)

Posted: 16th, February 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Pigs Might Fly

‘AT first glance the picture on the Times’s cover page is confusing. Is that swan really nesting in the clenched jaws of a mechanical digger? Helpfully, the caption beneath the … (read more)

Posted: 16th, February 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment

Buzz Off

‘‘DER-DER der-der, der-der, der-der… What’s that droning sound? Oasis on tour? Madonna moaning after her hernia operation (the Mail says the singer had an op after performing at the recent … (read more)

Posted: 16th, February 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Bobbies On The Beep

‘WHAT do you call seven police officers manning a speed trap? You don’t call them anything, dummy. You drive past without a murmur. Don’t breathe. Don’t blink. And, above all, … (read more)

Posted: 16th, February 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment

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