Anorak

| Anorak - Part 6

- Author Archive

Toxic Stunna

ALEXANDER Litvinenko continues to look unwell. Better, perhaps, to replace the now familiar shot of the former Russian KGB operative with something healthier, more robust, more feminine. So the Sun … (read more)

Posted: 30th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Heather Mills Wants…

“ALL I want for Christmas is access to the marital home,” writes Heather Mills in her open letter to Santa Claus. Christmas is coming and Heather, like so many of … (read more)

Posted: 30th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


A Goat Is Not Just For Christmas

THERE are many ways to make life better for Africans. You can wear a wristband, buy a Madonna CD or pray. Or you can donate. As the saying goes: You … (read more)

Posted: 30th, November 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Tom Cruise’s Magic Act

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are magic
“INSIDE the magical wedding of TOM and KATIE.” A week on from the joint magical Stag and Hen do, the magical vows and the … (read more)

Posted: 30th, November 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment


“COCAINE BRIBES & SEX”

“COCAINE BRIBES & SEX” The front page of the Star promises much. Where other papers just have news and the odd Page 3 stunna, the Star offers the full multi-sensory … (read more)

Posted: 29th, November 2006 | In: TV & Radio | Comment


Old Fools

TO many of us the impending Christmas season affords the chance to spend some quality time with loved ones in front of the telly. To eat in front of the … (read more)

Posted: 29th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


It’s Raining Detections

I’M currently in one of those troughs you go through when it seems like for weeks you’re dealing with handovers and the rest of the shift are running out of … (read more)

Posted: 29th, November 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment


ITV’s Up Grade

THE staff clapped when Michael Grade stepped into the offices at ITV Towers for the first day in his new job. As the nephew of Lew Grade, one of ITV’s … (read more)

Posted: 29th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Tis Ever Tiswas

Chris Tarrant’s game show
WELCOME to courtroom news? Make ready to press your keypads and decide which of Chris Tarrant and Ingrid Tarrant is right and which is wrong. (Fastest finger … (read more)

Posted: 29th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


New Super Bugs

War on Terror”s latest weapon
“BEES are being trained to sniff out drugs and terrorist bombs.” That’s the news in the Mirror, and we kowtow to its knowledge. And we are … (read more)

Posted: 29th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


I’m A Celebrity…Let Me At ‘Er

Saint Myleene Klass 
“SHE’S great isn’t she?” asks Tony Parsons in the Mirror. But this is a rhetorical question and Parsons hasn’t finished speaking. “She makes me wish I’d bought Hear’Say … (read more)

Posted: 28th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


What’s Your Poison?

Alexander Litvinenko
WHEN the TV film of the murder of Alexander Litvinenko comes to be made it will surely be major boon for school science classes. What secrets the former KGB … (read more)

Posted: 28th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)


Do You Believe?

Creationism or die
“RICHARD Dawkins is the pin-up boy for the country’s non-believers.” So says the Telegraph, which unable to call upon a Page 3 stunna has to make do with … (read more)

Posted: 28th, November 2006 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


OJ’s Blood Money

OJ’s Blood Money OJ Simpson admits that the £1.8million he received for telling the world how he would have killed ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ronald Goldman was … (read more)

Posted: 28th, November 2006 | In: Royal Family | Comment


Lohan, Spears & Hilton Get In Gear

Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton & Britney Spears get in gear… 
WHY the Mirror’s obsession with Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears and Paris Hilton? All three appear on the paper’s cover page. “THE BRIT … (read more)

Posted: 28th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Madonna Supposes

Madonna’s love guide
AMONG the advertorials for bunches of silk hankies, of all sizes and patterns, and small boys for sale, the Mirror spots Madonna touting her wares. Christmas is fast … (read more)

Posted: 27th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment (1)


Drugged & Disorderly

EVERY day of every week the Mail thinks up imaginative ways to remind you that life is cruel and you are going to experience pain and die. And if it … (read more)

Posted: 27th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Borat’s Mis-Stake

Borat must die
LOOK out, Sacha Baron Cohen, the Rogarians are coming! In the “Transylvanian gipsies threat to Sacha”, the Sun shines a candle on the villagers of Glod. Struggling to … (read more)

Posted: 27th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Britney Spears & Paris Hilton At Large

Britney Spears and Paris Hilton fall out  
FOR reasons too esoteric to fathom, Britney Spears appears on the Mirror’s cover clad in a green dress. “What HAS happened to Britney?” asks … (read more)

Posted: 27th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Playing The Field

NANCY Dell’Olio looks into the huge gilt-framed mirror. Mirror, mirror on the all, who is the fairest of them all? Before the mirror answers, it must surely consider the Scandinavian … (read more)

Posted: 26th, November 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment


Frozen Nuts

Kerry Katona’s nuts for the Squirrel
IT cannot be too long before Kerry Katona’s children start thinking of the giant Iceland squirrel as their new father. Kerry is currently starring on … (read more)

Posted: 26th, November 2006 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


Flying In The Face Of Reason

Nadia Eweida fights Britsh airways
“LET Christians wear the cross,” decrees the front page of the Express. And while we’re at it, let Sikhs wear turbans, Muslims sport veils and teenage girls … (read more)

Posted: 24th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Let There Be Energy Saving Light

“YOU COULDN’T MAKE IT UP,” say the words on the Sun’s bauble. Only you could. Or at least if not make it up then turn to the Sun on any … (read more)

Posted: 24th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Shooting Up Robbie Williams

Noel Gallagher on drugs and the death of Robbie Williams…
NOEL Gallagher had to stop taking drug when his teeth fell out. That’s the Star’s front-page news. And to illustrate just … (read more)

Posted: 24th, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Elton John Needs A Westlife

CAN anyone remember what Elton John was like before his gig at Princess Diana’s funeral? Elton’s performance that day transformed him into the nation’s favourite therapist, the Godhead of requiem … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, November 2006 | In: Tabloids | Comment