Anorak

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We’ve Got It Covered

‘Anorak is updated every weekday morning and over the weekend.This weekend we’ve got our new feature – Horror Stories.Each day the Mail dreams up new and exciting ways to die. … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, December 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment


Officers Not Gentlemen

‘“SEXISM and homophobia still ‘endemic’ in all police forces,” says the Times’s headline. Well, at least the institutionalised racism isn’t making news anymore. Is that a truncheon in your hand … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, December 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Wrighting Rongs

‘IS it possible to understand what a paper is telling you without actually being able to read? Can you learn what the paper is saying by rote? The three Rs: … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, December 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Your History

‘IT’S not often Austria is in the news. And given the country’s history that’s no bad thing. Hitler and members of his youthful glee club … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, December 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Boy Racer

‘“NAME?” demands the traffic cop. The yoof in his convertible says nothing. The engine of his red vehicle idles menacingly. He doesn’t budge. ‘I only meant to blow the … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, December 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Eu And Me

‘MARGARET Thatcher’s Finest Hours number 231. After using all her scientific know-how to develop a hairspray that allows her to stick her head out of a tank without fear of … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, December 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


The Weakest Act

‘WHEN the girlish Anne Robinson looked at the Welsh and asked “What are they for?” a nation looked to itself. Tragedy … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, December 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Number’s Up For The Beast

‘IF Anne Robinson does ever venture into Wales, the locals could do worse then direct her to the village of Baglan, near Swansea. Bait … (read more)

Posted: 2nd, December 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


The Bad Old Days

‘DON’T worry about the here and now, think only of the future. Forget crime, Iraq and Cherie’s shopping habits, and look to the world yet to be. Swimsuit model Reg … (read more)

Posted: 1st, December 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Joint Up Government

‘HOW much cannabis do you put in a joint? This is not a trick question. Your reply will not be forwarded to the men in wooden hats. It’s just a … (read more)

Posted: 1st, December 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Off Your Face

‘ACCORDING to the BBC, the American Academy of Dermatology has issued a warning against Botox parties, especially those involving alcohol. Mum? … (read more)

Posted: 1st, December 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Starter Homes

‘YESTERDAY we introduced you to Saffron Drewitt-Barlow (see Anorak “Daddy’s Girl”), “THE MOST SPOILT KIDS IN BRITIAN”. ‘Rapunzel! If you don’t let down your hair this instant, there’ll be no … (read more)

Posted: 1st, December 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


The Wedding List

‘HAVING invited Davy-vid and Victoria Beckham to his wedding to Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise can surely expect a decent gift from the footballer who the Suns says earned £47,500 a … (read more)

Posted: 1st, December 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Murder Burger

‘NOW, what’ll it be? You fancy the Lard In A Bun but are a little worried that it’ll will be the last thing you ever eat. The jumbo fat chips … (read more)

Posted: 1st, December 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Force Smile

‘“HELLO, police. What seems to be the problem?” says the cheery voice on the end of your call to the emergency services. ‘Try to think of it less as … (read more)

Posted: 30th, November 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Daddys’ Girl

‘SEE dad changing little Armani’s nappy. Look on as he catches up with some other young dads over a mid-morning coffee. Watch dad as he pops a few Valium as … (read more)

Posted: 30th, November 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Power Mad

‘WIND power is no good, said the caller into Jeremy Vine’s BBC2 radio show. The scientist in the studio wondered why. “Well,” said the caller, “who says they’ll be any … (read more)

Posted: 30th, November 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


How Low Can You Go?

‘LIMBO has no place in modern Catholicism. We do not mean limbo the dance – would–be Pope’s may still be selected in the time honoured tradition of who can limbo … (read more)

Posted: 30th, November 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Star Of Wonder

‘OF course what is spoilt to the British is every day to our American cousins. What our Armani and Jake children demand, Brad and Harley expect. ‘When do the men … (read more)

Posted: 30th, November 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Peter Out

‘FORGET births, marriages and death, the showbiz world is interested in only one society column: splits. Holding her tongue … (read more)

Posted: 30th, November 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


A Ropy Job

‘IF you are going to smuggle heroin through Singapore, then now might be the best time to do it. Although you will most likely be caught and sentenced to death, … (read more)

Posted: 30th, November 2005 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


Little Hope

‘IMAGINE a world where Freddie and the Dreamers have an airport in Liverpool named after them, where Willie Morgan and Gordon Hill are revered as Manchester United’s greatest-ever wingers, and … (read more)

Posted: 29th, November 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment


Getting The Needle

‘DROP your underwear and bend over. This should hurt us far more than it hurts you. Culling the fat … (read more)

Posted: 29th, November 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Bear Essential

‘LOOK at that little boy with his teddy. Ahh. Wonder what he’s saying to his little pal. Let’s listen in. ‘I hate you. You ruined my life. I never asked … (read more)

Posted: 29th, November 2005 | In: Uncategorized | Comment


Tell It To The Marines

‘“IN THE LINE OF DUTY,” announces The Sun, as it reveals “another secretly-shot Royal Marines video”. I never hit a woman … (read more)

Posted: 29th, November 2005 | In: Tabloids | Comment