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Premier League news. Stories from the newspapers and BBC sport – sports news from tabloids Daily Mail, Daily Express, Daily Star, the Guardian, Daily Mirror, the times, daily telegraph

Full Text Of Ahmadinejad Racism Speech To The UN

mahmoudahmadinejadFULL Text Of Ahmadinejad Racism Speech To The UN:

Part of the Mahmoud Racism Masterclass, Module III.

“Governments must be encouraged and supported in their fights at eradicating this barbaric racism. Efforts must be made to put an end to Zionism…

“Those in authority at the time set off two world wars [were] killing hundred of millions of people and causing mass destruction.

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Posted: 20th, April 2009 | In: Back pages, Politicians | Comments (9)

1982 And Bust: Trade Will Contract By 2.1 Percent In 2009

DON’T bank on Ireland, Italy or Greece…

Or anywhere else for that matter; the World Bank has consulted the goat’s entrails and it’s not looking good: it believes that global growth will be a mere 0.9% next year, and “The volume of world trade, which grew 9.8 percent in 2006 and an estimated 6.2 percent this year, will contract by 2.1 percent in 2009.”

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Posted: 10th, December 2008 | In: Back pages | Comment (1)

Record Numbers At The Barack Obama Inaugural Hajj

BARACK Obama’s inauguration looms and they’re expecting record numbers for the Hajj.

Saudi Arabia is preparing for a record turnout at the annual Hajj pilgrimage.

More than 100,000 security guards have been deployed to cope with the three million people expected in the city of Mecca, when the Islamic pilgrimage gets under way on Saturday.

As J-Walk says: “Coincidentally, that’s the same number of people expected for the Obama inauguration.”

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Posted: 7th, December 2008 | In: Back pages | Comment (1)

A University Course In White Trash Studies

SO bad was George Bush at being president that Americans voted for a black man. And now Barack Obama is in charge, there is nothing for white men to do other then discuss where it all went wrong.

Nowhere is the debate more earnest than at Australia’s Monash University.

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Posted: 4th, December 2008 | In: Back pages | Comment (1)

Football fashion: why can’t black be the new black?

Much has been made of Nike’s ghastly new pink boots, as sported here by Arsenal’s Nicklas Bendtner.

The pink boot was inevitable, really. From the moment that Alan Ball first pulled on a pair of white boots, for Everton in the 1970/71 Charity Shield (“They were crap,” squeaked little Alan), it was only a matter of time – it took almost 40 years, but we got there in the end.

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Posted: 27th, November 2008 | In: Back pages, Sports | Comments (8)

Masks For Cross Dressers

MASKS for cross-dressers:

The site of Jovina, a cross-dressing masking fetishist, has oodles of beautiful images. (If this looks somewhat familiar, Jovina I believe is the one that introduced art-duo AIDS-3D to the fetish, which they’ve used in many installations).


Posted: 25th, November 2008 | In: Back pages, Strange But True | Comment

Omen To That: In The Pink With Damien And Liz Hurley

DAMIAN Hurley “would have me dress in long couture dresses and glittery shoes every day”.

That’s Damian on the cover of Hello!, sat on his mother’s knee; his blue eyes and dark hair; his name; his small tattoo on the top of his head; his theme music; the stairs… watch out!

“Mother love,” says Hello!. And we understand.

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Posted: 4th, November 2008 | In: Back pages | Comment

Madeleine McCann: Family Danger, Caylee Anthony And A Challenge To Libel

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

THE SUN: “Maddie: Hol chat on risk of kidnap”

James Clench continues his investigation of the McCann’s holiday, and he’s brought Lucy Hagan along for back up…

Perhaps James can be Gerry McCann and Lucy can be Kate, and they can turn their story into a multi-media play for today? Now read on…

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Posted: 21st, October 2008 | In: Back pages | Comments (90)

Scouting For Girls: Arkela’s Sex Class With Blue Peter And Kaa The Snake

WHO is that lone wolf in the park? Why it’s Arkela. He’s been on Paedo Prowl, and can report that the area is safe and secure.

He’s our Leader, leader, leader of the ging-gang-goolies.

Arkela wants you to Be Prepared. And he’d like to would like to introduce you to Baloo, also know as The Bear. Can anyone tell Arkela what a Bear is?

Yes, you, boy.

“Is it a hairy homosexual male, sir?”

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Posted: 20th, October 2008 | In: Back pages | Comments (2)

Voodoo Tax Breaks Berry’s Troubled Assets

THIS is reply to Richard North’s post: Why Gordon Brown’s Rescue Package Is Not Going To Work, by Chenier…

It’s crap.

Sorry, not you FSBFP, the stuff about the accountancy rules.

They already changed them, and I wrote a piece about it at the time; it did f*ck all to improve matters.

John M Berry is being somewhat disingenuous in not mentioning in his article that the SEC had already issued a statement allowing people to take a much more cheery view of their Troubled Assets, but perhaps he just overlooked it in all the excitement.

(Image: Beau Bo D’Or)

Equally, John M Berry pointedly ignores a little local difficulty called Enron, which I suppose is unsurprising given that the fraud there involved taking a view of their Troubled Assets so cheery that people ended up doing jail time.

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Posted: 14th, October 2008 | In: Back pages | Comments (7)

Man City The Next Club In Crisis

WEST Ham is in the mire. And Man City?

Dubai may need help from Abu Dhabi and the United Arab Emirates government to finance a surge in borrowing that paid for the world’s tallest tower, palm tree- shaped man-made islands and stakes in banks worldwide.

That’s the transfer kitty gone…

Anyone know what they did with Peter Swailes ?


Al Sugar’s 54-A-Side Manchester City

Al Qaeda Will Attack Manchester City At 8pm On 05 November 2007

Posted: 14th, October 2008 | In: Back pages, Sports | Comments (8)

Me And Britt Lapthorne

AUSTRALIAN tourist Britt Lapthorne is murdered in Croatia. The mainstream media ignore her or abused her.

That is until Tracee Hutchison, a columnist for The Age (Melbourne), began to understand and make sense of Britt’s life and death.

Having called Britt Lapthorne “sunny-natured, seasoned traveller”, sunny antgured and seasoned Tracee begins to recognise the moral of the tale:

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Posted: 12th, October 2008 | In: Back pages | Comments (2)

The End Of Football’s Age Of Innocence: Melanie Slade Strips Off

SETANTA. Director of football (not to be confused with football director). Theo Walcott. Lots of clean toilets at Wembley Stadium. Man City playing beach soccer. Dennis Wise in a suit and not appearing in court.

All parts of football’s brave new world.

But it’s not all change. No one told Melanie Slade, Walcott’s lover, that time has moved on. And here she in the Sun making a “great career mauve” in a lilac bikini.

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Posted: 11th, October 2008 | In: Back pages, Sports | Comments (9)

The Smell Of Victory: The Scent Of Football

SMELL that? That is the smell of Liverpool FC.

L4Men leads with the intense freshness of Robbie Keane and the garlic-infused sparkle of Fernando Torres.

Note the virile blend of frustration and star anise which finishes down with undertones of second-hand tyre and gold top.

This is Liverpool’s attempt to dethrone Beckham as the official smell of football. Right now L4Men is the official scent of the Premier League, but we can expect Liverpool’s rivals to up the stakes and take more vigorous approaches to the challenge of advancing the brand.

Here are some of the other odours that should be wafting through the grounds next season:

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Posted: 10th, October 2008 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, manchester united, Sports, Spurs | Comments (3)

Is This The Worst Sports Kit Ever?

THE Stade Francais replica kit – is it the worst sports kit ever..?

Their new strip has multicoloured images of Blanche de Castille, wife of Louis VIII and mother to Louis IX (how obvious).

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Posted: 9th, October 2008 | In: Back pages | Comments (7)

Newcastle United: Joe Kinnear’s Greatest Press Conference Ever

ANORAK used to attend many football press conferences. The following is an edited transcript of Newcastle interim manager Joe Kinnear’s first official press conference yesterday, as provided by the Guardian:

JK Which one is Simon Bird [Daily Mirror’s north-east football writer]?

SB Me.

JK You’re a c*nt.

SB Thank you.

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Posted: 3rd, October 2008 | In: Back pages | Comments (16)

Matt Hughes Adds To Chelsea Crisis

CHELSEA’S striking crisis:

“…leaving Drogba and Anelka as the club’s only recognised strikers”- Matt Hughes, of the Times, fails to recognise Salomon Kalou, billed as a strike on the paper’s Fantasy Football League pages

See you at the January sales…

Posted: 3rd, October 2008 | In: Back pages | Comment

Summit About Nothing: Ronnie Wood Calls In The United Nations

RONNIE Wood is having “divorce summit”.

Right it is that an act of such global importance is afforded a position on the Sun’s front page, and covred by the alnguage of interntanl dimplamacy.

Ronnie Wood (UK) says he wants to be with Ekaterina Ivanova (Russia).

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Posted: 3rd, October 2008 | In: Back pages | Comment

Quote Of The Day: Tony Jacklin’s Four Balls

SPORTING Quote of the Day: Tony Jacklin on golf…

“Tom Wesikopf pined a note to my locker door with just these four letters – TEMPO” – Golfer Tony Jacklin on Sky Sports


Posted: 3rd, October 2008 | In: Back pages, TV & Radio | Comment (1)

Ah, Sol: Homophobic Tabloids Rally Round Sol Campbell

FOOTBALLER Sol Campbell has been the victim of homophobic chants.

The Daily Star makes it its business to expose such things, even repeating one ditty, as sung by fans of Spurs, for whom Campbell used to play before his defection to local rivals Arsenal:

“Sol, Sol, where ever you may be. You’re on the verge of lunacy. And we don’t give a f*** if you’re hanging from a tree. You Judas c*** with HIV.”

The Star is appalled and screams: “GAY FOOTIE FANS RIGHT BEHIND SOL”.

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Posted: 2nd, October 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids | Comments (15)

Shoes For Hats: Daily Mirror Hack’s Zany Wikiepdia Cheat

THE Mirror’s David Anderson writes from Nicosia of Manchester City’s UEFA Cup match with Omonia Nicosia.

Despite City’s raised profile, they must make do with the UEFA Cup this season and Hughes will not tolerate any slip-ups against the Cypriot side, whose fans are known as the ‘Zany Ones’ and wear hats made from shoes.

Well, that’s what is says on the Wikipedia page for Omonia Nicosia, as updated by “godspants”, a web wag, and slavishly borrowed by Anderson as he does his, er, research…

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Posted: 2nd, October 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids | Comments (3)

Shawn Johnson Attacked By Demented Farmhand

US Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson is under attack. She’s walking a fine line between bravery and stupidity… Watch out for the farmhand..!

US Ironists Wants To Rip Gold Medal From 14-Year-Old He Kexin’s Neck


Posted: 25th, September 2008 | In: Back pages, Photojournalism | Comment

Forward With Boris Johnson As London Twinned With Beijing

STAGE 2 in the plan to make the London Olympics just like the Beijing Game, only better and more Chinese.

Having waved a flag like a totem of the Yellow River, a blonde extra from The Great Leap Forward, London mayor Boris Johnson is returned from China with ideas anew.

Johnny Chinky sure does know a think or two about bicycles. They just love ‘em. So here’s Boris on a bicycle riding about a car-free London with 50,000 other enthusiasts.

(Image: Beau Bo D’Or Website)

“This is the perfect way to encourage Londoners to get on their bikes,” says Johnson, pictured in the London Evening Standard cycling with Olympic champion Chris Hoy through an oddly carefree, er, St James’s Park.

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Posted: 22nd, September 2008 | In: Back pages, Politicians | Comments (6)

Mike Atherton On Cricket’s Establishment

QUOTE of the day: former England captain Mike Atheron on cricket’s future…

“Over time the less established players very often become more established” – Mike Atherton

More to follow…

Posted: 20th, September 2008 | In: Back pages, TV & Radio | Comment

Lily Allen’s Colonic Irrigation

LILY Allen News Of The Day: Lily’s arse

LILY Allen has booked herself in for a session of colonic irrigation this afternoon” – Gordon Smart, The Sun

More Lily Allen news tomorrow…


Posted: 19th, September 2008 | In: Back pages | Comments (7)