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Back pages | Anorak - Part 44

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Premier League news. Stories from the newspapers and BBC sport – sports news from tabloids Daily Mail, Daily Express, Daily Star, the Guardian, Daily Mirror, the times, daily telegraph

We’ll Miss George Bush: Volleyball Farewell

WE’LL miss George Bush:

The American beach volleyball team of Kerri Walsh and Misty May-Treanor defeated the Chinese team of Jie Wang and Jia Tian 2-0 to complete a perfect Olympic tournament and win their second consecutive gold medal.

Interviewed immediately afterward, Walsh asked if she could say something, then looked straight at the camera and said, “Mr. President, thank you for your inspiration. Thank you for all you do.”

And I thought that everyone hated George Bush. That’s what the media and the Democrats keep telling me.

You’ll miss him when he’s gone…

Source

Posted: 21st, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Politicians | Comment (1)


The Making Of Michael Phelps

THE Making Of Michael Phelps…

Spotter: Tim

Posted: 21st, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Photojournalism | Comment (1)


Gordon Brown’s Olympic Vision

EVEYONE wins at the Olympics. Reports the Mirror:

Gordon Brown said yesterday Britain’s Olympic heroes had inspired him to fight on and win the next election.

(Picture: Beau Bo D’Or Wesbite)

Is Gordon using his personal trainer to get him fit enough to do away with voting and make it to straight foot race between he and Cameron?

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Posted: 21st, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Politicians, Tabloids | Comments (5)


Olympic Balls: Guns And Knives For Bikes

HEY, kidz. Do as the Mirror says: “Dump those guns and knives and get on your bike.”

And the Mirror is talking to you kidz, and not to the Russian forces in Georgia, the Americans in Iraq or the jihadis in your broom cupboard.

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Posted: 21st, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids | Comment


Michael Phelps’ All American Diet

MICHAEL Phelps runs on sugar, fat and special sauce:

The public irritation with Michael Phelps gathers steam! Instead of being on the Wheaties box like a real American champion, Phelps has signed on to endorse Frosted Flakes. Yes: Michael Phelps wants your kids to choke down these sugar-encrusted corn scabs rather than the high fiber of Wheaties. The papers already found some doctors to condemn him. Though we shouldn’t be surprised considering Phelps’ addiction to Big Macs, the goofy-ass swimmer really should have been smarter in terms of his image…

Fast food make you fast…

Source

Posted: 20th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Money | Comments (3)


Anorak Tops The Olympic Medals Table

MUCH conjecture over which country and land mass is winning the Olympics.

Old Mr Anorak would like it on the record that he alone employs women of at least 26 nationalities, which between them have amassed 121 gold medals, 103 silvers and 102 bronzes.

We have won no fewer than 15 medals per person. And this does Not include the Thai ladies ping-pong team who are boycotting the Games.

This puts Anorak at the top of any medal chart, and is yet another blow to OMA’s former wives from Slovenia, Belarus, Guatemala, Chinese Tapiei, Wales, Ecuador, Vietnam and what he resolutely refers to as Bechuanaland…

Posted: 20th, August 2008 | In: Back pages | Comments (5)


Teenage Victim Sues Joey Barton

IS Barton Street nick in The Bill named in honour of Joey Barton? He’s being sued:

Newcastle United footballer Joey Barton is being sued for damages by a teenage boy he attacked during a night out. Barton, 25, punched Jordan Spencer, then aged 16, in the face, outside McDonalds in Liverpool City Centre in the early hours of 27 December.

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Posted: 20th, August 2008 | In: Back pages | Comments (2)


Robinho’s Dream: To Win The Cash With Chelsea

ROBINHO, one of the myriad Brazilian attacking footballers whose names being in a “R”, has been the object of transfer speculation between Real Madrid (ten times winners of the European Cup) and Chelsea (identity under offer).

And the Sun headline: “Madrid have killed the dream.”

That’s right. Robinho’s dream was to play for Chelsea. Really.

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Posted: 20th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids | Comments (3)


Christine Ohuruogu’s Gold Is Britain’s Shame

CHRISTINE Ohurugo, Little Miss Scatterbrain who missed not one, not two, but three out-of-season drugs tests, is on the cover of the Mirror. She’s a gold medal winner at the Olympics. She’s one of the “Greatest EVER Brits”.

Inside the paper, Oliver Holt considers just how great she is:

Shame because Ohuruogu was only in Beijing in the first place because of the craven hypocrisy and pragmatism of the British Olympic Association.

You can’t have it both ways…

Posted: 20th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids | Comment


Best And Worst Of British: Christine Ohuruogu And Gary Glitter

GARY Glitter is at the airport. He’s dressed as a chav, with baseball cap on head and checked scarf pulled up across his face in true precinct gangsta fashion.

He’s the Mirror’s “CLUB CLASS PAEDO”.

Glitter, says the Mail on its front page, is the “WORST OF BRITISH”. Alongside Glitter is the “BEST OF BRITISH”, the Olympic gold medal athlete Christine Ohuruogu. She’s wearing the uniform of the New Britons.

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Posted: 20th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids | Comments (7)


The Olympic Flames

“I was running late, rushing from my last job to the Bird’s Nest for the men’s 100m final – as I turned the corner with one of my colleagues we saw a full moon rising above the stadium and we could not believe our luck!

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Posted: 19th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Photojournalism | Comment (1)


Rio Ferdinand On Knife Crime

SAYS England footballer Rio Ferdinand:

“I didn’t carry a knife, I was around people who probably did. We are fortunate that we had goals in life, we wanted to play football.”

Rio Ferdinand is a defender whose job it is to prevent young men from reaching goals…

 

Posted: 19th, August 2008 | In: Back pages | Comments (9)


Air Rage Attacks Up In Time For 2012 Games

“AIR RAGE ATTACKS BY BINGE BRITONS SOARING.”

Good to know that even topped up on duty free, the Mail’s headline writers can craft a decent pun.

Of course the pun isn’t the only element that makes this story newsworthy. Really, it is not.

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Posted: 19th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids | Comments (11)


Olympoc Balls: EU Wins Olympics

AMERICA wins. China wins. Now the EU wins. We’re all winning all of the time…

Source

Posted: 18th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Politicians | Comments (4)


How To Be A Great British Briton

“GREAT TO BE BRITISH,” says the Daily Mail.

And it is as good a slogan for the paper, and the country, as any. But what does being British mean in today’s confused world?

Anorak investigates:

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Posted: 18th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids | Comment


Olympic Balls: Michael Phelps Is A Greek God In Roman Times

MICHAEL Phelps has won seven gold medals… No eight… Now nine… And so on. Can you win too many gold medals?

In the Guardian Kate Rew is contemplating swimming with the Gods:

In the Olympics in Ancient Rome, the powerfully built swimmers (nude, like all the sportsmen, so the crowds could better appreciate the mastery of the human body) swam in the rolling currents of the Tiber.

Those ancient Greek Romans. Now they really good swim…

Posted: 17th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Broadsheets | Comments (4)


The Eyes Have It: Spanish Tennis Players Tribute To Slitty-Eyed China

AFTER the Spanish basketball players’ tribute to China, Spanish women tennis players adopt the slitty-eyed tribute pose.

Spain takes on China in the Federation Cup next April.

War is coming

Posted: 17th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Photojournalism | Comments (11)


Olympic Balls: Plucky Paula Radcliffe Rolls Back The Years

THE Olympics – This is our year.

And amid the “GOLD RUSH” (Express, Independent), “OUR GREATEST OLYMPIC DAY” (People) is the news that plucky Paula Radcliffe, the country’s great marathon runner, DID cry when she lost and DID stop two miles from home, bravely finishing the race in scenes reminiscent of Reach For The Sky.

Just four years ago Radcliffe wowed Olympic crowds in Athens when she failed to complete the course, dropping out of the race she had no hope of winning.

Now to prove that was no fluke, the spirit-of-the-blitz and never-say-die Brit picked up her running spikes and…

Continues in all papers…

Posted: 17th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Broadsheets, Tabloids | Comments (12)


Green NBC Air Conditions Beijing

NBS is so very green:

NBC Universal will also specifically seek out advertisers with green-friendly messages when it’s selling commercial time on NBC and its other networks this spring.

The company says it isn’t only preaching to others; NBC Universal is installing large solar panels at the company’s movie studios in California, and has eliminated all plastic foam from company cafeterias.

Tied to Earth Day on Tuesday, the special “Green Week” effort is the company’s second in six months. NBC Universal is following the lead of corporate parent General Electric Co., which is among many companies sensing that the public looks kindly on pro-environmental efforts.

How green?

WTHR, the NBC affiliate for Indianapolis, reported from Beijing and described the NBC set used for the network’s two highest rated news broadcasts, “NBC Nightly News” and “Today,” as air conditioned – even though it is outdoors.

“The set is outside, but air conditioning vents make the weather bearable,” Anne Marie Tiernon wrote for WTHR Eyewitness News…

As green as a greenhouse…

Posted: 16th, August 2008 | In: Back pages | Comment


Olympic Balls: More Michael Phelps Fakery

AFTER thisthis, this, this and this, we now have this. Eleven gold medals… Pah! Why Michael Phelps’ shoulders could take hundreds of medals, a light aircraft and 17 runway models…

Aircraft Spotter: Jay

Posted: 15th, August 2008 | In: Back pages | Comment


Olympic Balls: More Fakery In Beijing

THE Wall Street Journal notes mnore fakery oin Beijing. After Michael Phelps was found out, there’s this:

In the Olympic Opening Ceremonies, a procession of children bore a large Chinese flag into the Bird’s Nest stadium, each child wearing a costume representing one of China’s ethnic minorities.

However, the children actually were members of the Han majority, an arts official said in an interview. Yuan Zhifeng, deputy director of Galaxy Children’s Art Troupe, said the children were drawn from the all-Han Chinese troupe. “I assume they think the kids were very natural looking and nice,” Ms. Yuan said …

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Posted: 15th, August 2008 | In: Back pages | Comments (8)


Drugs Olympics 2012: Feel The Wheelie Bin Burn

NO sooner has Anorak championed the 2012 Olympics as the Olympics of Drugs, then we read of a “craze of setting fire to wheelie bins and sniffing the fumes to get a high”.

The BBC reports :

Police believed the craze was behind bin fires in the Athersley and New Lodge areas of Barnsley.

Indeed, dear reader, fair it is that the Olympics should be passed about the land, like the burning torch, or a large spliff.

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Posted: 15th, August 2008 | In: Back pages | Comment


Agent Steve McClaren Was A Dutch Plant

IS former England manager Steve McClaren trying to pretend that he is not who he once was? Or can it be that McClaren was Agenct McClaren, a Dutch national sent to destroy the English game from within?

McClaren is now weaving his magic in Holland – his native Holland. Listen up:

Posted: 15th, August 2008 | In: Back pages | Comments (5)


Britain Gears Up For 2012 Drugs Olympics

WE’RE “OUT OF OUR HEADS,” screams the Sun.

“Drugs epidemic wrecking Britain.” For Sun readers that’s “broken Britain”, being wrecked, or mashed, as we know it to be. “DRUGS BRITAIN,” advertises the Indy.

The bombshell figures — which reveal 2million adults have taken drugs in the last month — will fuel calls for a crackdown on celebrity drug users like Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty.

Before Winehouse and Doherty appeared, drugs were an Americanism for pharmaceuticals. Says the Sun: “More than 400 under-16s were admitted last year, compared with 272 in 1997.”

In 1997, Anorak can reveal that the country’s top stars were, in order, Timmy Mallett, Steps and Ally McBeal. Innocent days, indeed.

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Posted: 15th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Broadsheets, Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment


Olympic Balls: America Wins Even When America Loses

THE Olympics. This is our year, Britain. We will top the medal tables and all will be right. But what medals are worth most: gold, silver, bronze, Anorak’s “Olympic Heroes” Medal Collection (100 to collect in a leatherette coin purse)?

As these charts show, knowing what medal is worth the most is hard, but we’d put our bet on all American medals being worth 1.34 Chinese medals.

 

GB medals are – as ever – worth their weight in gold, or steroids, which ever is the the dearer…

* The Olympics traditionally list winner in terms of gold medals won.

Posted: 15th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Photojournalism | Comments (4)