Broadsheets Category
Top news from The Times, Daily Telegraph, The Indepedent and The Guardian newspapers
Russia And US Agree: Let’s All Nuke Poland
“WE’LL NUKE POLAND.”
Given the history of Poland, the Sun’s headline statement solicits the enjoiner: “No, WE’LL nuke Poland”… “No, we’ll nuke Poland”…”No WE will”, and so on…
(Picture: Beau Bo D’Or website)
The initial threat, says the Telegraph on its front page, was issued by a representative of Russia, a country that has yet to nuke anyone other than its own allies in the former Soviet Union.
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Posted: 16th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Tabloids | Comments (5)
Homeowners Call Police On Window Salesman
AFTER a cold all approach, a window trader was demanding a deposit for the £31,000 he quoted to replace a couple’s windows.
The couple, who have two young children, repeatedly asked him to leave before calling the police and handing him the phone so that a police officer could tell him to go.
And did the coppers buy any windows?
Posted: 15th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Money | Comments (4)
Sydney Morning Herald Wants Us To Look at Ali Lohan’s Chest
PSST! Wanna ogle an underage girl and discuss her chest size? Then read the Sydney Morning Herald, the paper that cares:
Lindsay Lohan’s 14-year-old sister Ali has reportedly had a boob job. The teenager – who will release her second studio album later this year – was seen flaunting her new curves at a Jonas Brothers concert in New York last week, sparking rumours she had gone under the knife to enhance her cleavage.
Let’s have a heated debate…
Posted: 15th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities | Comment
Britain Gears Up For 2012 Drugs Olympics
WE’RE “OUT OF OUR HEADS,” screams the Sun.
“Drugs epidemic wrecking Britain.” For Sun readers that’s “broken Britain”, being wrecked, or mashed, as we know it to be. “DRUGS BRITAIN,” advertises the Indy.
The bombshell figures — which reveal 2million adults have taken drugs in the last month — will fuel calls for a crackdown on celebrity drug users like Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty.
Before Winehouse and Doherty appeared, drugs were an Americanism for pharmaceuticals. Says the Sun: “More than 400 under-16s were admitted last year, compared with 272 in 1997.”
In 1997, Anorak can reveal that the country’s top stars were, in order, Timmy Mallett, Steps and Ally McBeal. Innocent days, indeed.
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Posted: 15th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Broadsheets, Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment
Madeleine McCann: Selling Books And Fact As Fiction
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann
WHILE the tabloids splash news of Madeleine McCann – our Maddy/ Maddie – on their front pages, spinning the single thread story into a news sensation, the Guardian uses the missing child as a touchstone for arty matters.
Just recently Madeleine has been in Edinburgh for the performing arts festival, and not. Like last year.
Today John Morton muses: “Can fiction tell the truth?”
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Posted: 15th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann | Comments (566)
Madeleine McCann: The A-Team, Ruining Lives And Spinning The Single Thread
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann
DAILY STAR: “SECRET A-TEAM IN HUNT FOR MADDIE”
In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground.
Desperate Kate and Gerry McCann have forked out £500,000 on an “A-Team” of former top spooks to find missing daughter Madeleine.
Can the plan come together?
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Posted: 14th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (527)
Madeleine McCann: Belgian Paedos, Foreign Nannies And Joke Shops Jokes
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann
GLASGOW DAILY RECORD: “She’s Not Maddie.. She’s My Daughter”
If the Hollies sang Madeleine…
The father of a blonde girl captured on CCTV in Brussels on August 4 came forward to reveal that the youngster was his daughter.
The blonde ice-cream-eating girl with the North African woman?
Belgian federal prosecutor’s office spokeswoman Lieve Pellens says: “Obviously for him, it was very easy recognising the girl accompanied by a woman in a veil. It’s her nanny, a young Moroccan woman who is qualified to look after children and works in a care centre.”
But there are paedos in Belgium right?
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Posted: 13th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (108)
Paul McCarthy’s Art Is Complex Shit On The Runs
ANORAK’S Vomit In Sock is an early contender for the Turner Prize. But there is competition:
20 hectares of playground for the garden show: the farmland to the rear of the three steel hills and the entire tract of greenery from the Wyssloch Valley down to Lake Egelsee will be sprouting weird and wonderful objects to form an animated kind of front garden.
Paul McCarthy will be subverting the otherwise harmonious landscape sculpture of the Zentrum Paul Klee with his installation Complex Shit – a giant pile of dog faeces.
Oh, complex shit. Not complete shit. Silly us.
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Posted: 12th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Strange But True | Comments (9)
Olympic Balls: Football In Beijing
OLYMPIC Balls – Anorak’s look at football at the Olympics
It was a swimming race like no other the Olympics has seen, the aquatic equivalent of Manchester United defeating Bayern Munich in 1999, or Padraig Harrington coming from nowhere to win the US PGA… But it wasn’t Phelps who did it. Rather, the Ole Gunnar Solskjaer of the American party was… – Jim White, Daily Telegraph
Continues for the duration of the Olympic Games…
Posted: 12th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Broadsheets | Comment
Madeleine McCann: Bet On Maddie, Belgium Or Bust And More Jokes
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann
THE SUN: “I’d bet all that I own it was her”
THE bank security guard who saw a child like Madeleine McCann insisted yesterday: “I would bet everything I own that it was her.”
The spotter in Brussels…. Is betting in the bank allowed? Is this a sign of the credit crunch? A bet’s a bet. How much you got?
The Belgian capital is tipped to rival Amsterdam as the sex capital of Europe.
Tipped by whom, the Sun’s man in the know?
“I sold an ice cream to ‘Maddie’”
It’s a claim to fame…
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Posted: 12th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (115)
BBC Cover Obama In 472 Person Conference Call
GORDON Bown is on holiday dressed in a hair shirt and Comfi-Slax, promenading with his good lady wife for five minutes and fifteen seconds of air of the most bracing sort. But the BBC won’t show you that. Because:
It was the mother of all conference calls. No fewer than 472 BBC staff were hanging on the telephone 10 days ago to discuss its coverage of the upcoming US party conventions. Yet more ammunition for those who say the BBC has lavished too much attention on the US elections already.
So many staff sharing one phone call is shaming. Guido Fawkes pulls on his Daily Mail hat and says this occurs: “Because there is no serious budget control, no profit motive and unlimited access to funds courtesy of a feudal taxation system to the benefit of the broadcasting barons.”
Or it might be because there are budget controls and 472 staff on one call is cheaper than enabling them to meet in a venue, the staff are cheap and, yes, the BBC is a junket…
Posted: 11th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians, TV & Radio | Comment
Madeleine McCann: Bank On Brussels, Dossier Facts And Metodo 3 Investigate
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann
DAILY EXPRESS (front page): “MADELEINE: “’I heard her beg to go home’”
CCTV images of the blonde blue-eyed youngster, seen just seven days ago at a Brussels bank, are now being studied. Last night Belgian police said the case had been given top priority and was being passed to a magistrate who would launch a full inquiry.
That’s right – the Express has reverted to calling the missing child Madeleine. It flirted with Maddie, but Madeleine it is, and ever will be…
The little girl, who looked “much like” Madeleine, was spotted by a security guard at the Havenlaan branch of the KBC Bank in the district of Molenbeek St Jean.
It’s Madeleine. It has to be:
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Posted: 11th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (116)
Credit Crunch: Halifax Makes Positive Move
CREDIT Crunch Watch: Anorak’s look at credit crunch in the news:
“Crooning banker Howard Brown has been axed from the Halifax ads because he is too cheery for the credit crunch” Daily Telegraph
Goodbye Howard, You came. You sang badly in an effort to get people to get into debt. You went, perhaps, to get a new job dancing and singing as people have their homes repossessed…
Posted: 10th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Money | Comments (4)
Madeleine McCann: With Columnists Carole Malone And Barbara Ellen
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann
THE COLUMNISTS
It’s the Big Brother reject and toothsome talker:
“The truth won’t mend the pain”
I SOMETIMES wonder if The Truth is all it’s cracked up to be. I wonder if there are times when NOT knowing is better than knowing.
Well, as Donald Rumsfeld once said, from whom Malone seems to be quoting…
Because now we think we know Madeleine McCann didn’t die, as police suspected, in her holiday apartment. Neither was she taken by an opportunist killer. Nor did she wander off into the sea.
Sure of that? Yeah, Sure of it. Positive. Sure of it? Facts are facts. Right? Facts…
However, what we now think may have happened is worse than all of those scenarios because it looks certain this angel-faced little girl was snatched to order by a vile paedophile ring and delivered to people who hunt down pretty children to degrade. Maybe even kill.
And we know this because..? Well, someone said something…it got in an email to someone else…Carole read it or heard it and it became news… and fact…and we read about it… and we told someone… and they told Carole…who knows all about it…
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Posted: 10th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (258)
Madeleine McCann: They Call Me Maddie, In Venezuela And African Bingo
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann
THE SUNDAY EXPRESS (front page): “IS THIS WHO TOOK MADDIE?”
A change in the quotidian Express story. No longer is Madeleine, “MADELEINE”. Madeleine McCann is now “MADDIE”. It’s the name the media, mostly, have dubbed her.
Maddie is what the missing child has taken to calling herself when she visits party shops in Amsterdam…
So who took her. The Express has a photfit.
NEWS OF THE WORLD (front page): “I spotted Maddie’s tell-tale eye”
This is the least savoury headline Anorak has read on the matter for some time…
“I WAS AFRAID TO GRAB HER – Witness was sure restaurant girl was Maddie but feared causing a scene”
A VITAL new witness in the hunt for Madeleine McCann has told cops: “I saw Maddie. I know it was her—I saw the unique blemish in her eye.”
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Posted: 10th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (39)
Camping In Kingsnorth With Caroline Lucas
BACK to Kingsnorth power plant, Kent, where campaigners are protesting about a new replacement power plant. To the climate camp, then, in the company of the Guardian’s Caroline Lucas:
Sitting in a teepee in the peaceful Kent countryside, surrounded by campaigners from across the UK mulling over the future of renewable energy and swapping vegan cake recipes, you could be forgiven for temporarily forgetting the outside world and its many woes.
Because you’re too busy wondering what the hell you did wrong in life to bring you to this hellhole?
Posted: 9th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets | Comments (3)
Madeleine McCann: With Columnists Lorraine Kelly And Deborah Orr
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann
THE COLUMNISTS
LORRAINE KELLY (The Sun): “Watch your kids for Maddie’s sake”
It’s cellar-busting, tabloid bingo stalwart Lorraine Kelly:
OF all the many cruelties inflicted on Madeleine McCann’s parents, the possibility that their little girl begged an Amsterdam shop assistant for help shortly after she went missing is surely the deepest cut of all.
Begged? But it was Madeleine, right? Or Maddie as she – and the press – now know her by.
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Posted: 9th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (169)
Madeleine McCann: Greedy Newspapers Banking On Maddy In Brussels, And Naming Rights
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann…
DAILY EXPRESS (front page): “MADELEINE: I SAW HER ON MONDAY”
“Guard tells police she was in a Brussels bank”
Can Madeleine McCann be the new Patti Hearst? What of the theory that she was kidnapped by freedom fighters, the Symbionese Liberation Army, and is being trained in covert operations and crime?
A bank worker in Brussels reported seeing Madeleine accompanied by a woman of North African appearance on Monday morning.
To Belgium, one of the low countries.
THE SUN (front page): “MADDIE: SEEN FIVE SAYS AGO.”
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Posted: 9th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Money, Tabloids | Comments (69)
SNP Councillor And Family Shoot AK47s In Pakistan
JAHANGIR Hanif, 46, a Scottish National Party councillor, has been shooting an AK47, in Pakistan:
A millionaire politician was suspended by his party yesterday after photographs were published of him apparently taking his family — including his five-year-old daughter — to fire an AK47 assault rifle at a military-style camp in Pakistan.
Photographs of Jahangir Hanif, 46, a Scottish National Party councillor in Glasgow who has campaigned against violent crime, were published yesterday by a newspaper beneath the headline: “Councillor Kalashnikov”. He admitted last night that his behaviour had been “foolish and inappropriate”.
His 17-year-old daughter, Noor, described how she and four of her siblings were driven in a blacked-out vehicle to an alleged training base in mountains near the Kashmir border and encouraged to fire the powerful weapon.
Video footage passed to the Glasgow Evening Times showed Mr Hanif’s youngest daughter, Sana, aged 5 at the time, being helped to fire the gun, the newspaper said. His son Ameer, now 14, also fired the Russian-designed rifle — the weapon of choice for Taleban insurgents in Afghanistan, with a firing rate of 600 rounds a minute — as did his daughters Zainab, 13, and Amina, 10, the paper added.
…
When contacted about the video, Mr Hanif said “What?” before the line went dead, the Evening Times reported.
Stupid? Is this any differnt to an American shooting AK47s for fun?
Posted: 8th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians | Comments (4)
No Jumpers At RBS And Bankers Guess On Interest Rates
WHY is it that if the financial sector is down we are all supposed to feel down?
The FT’s Samuel Brittan is right to say that the financial sector is not the whole of the economy.
Financial services account for about 12 per cent of UK gross national product. The “wholesale” sector – from which the current crunch originated – contributes just under 4 per cent, although more than that of any other European Union country except Luxembourg.
Beaten by Luxembourg… The shame. First Eurovision. Now this. What it means is that if banks are doing badly, it need not be the be all and end all to all of us.
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Posted: 8th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Money | Comment (1)
Watching The Beijing Olympics On The Radio
SUCH is the density of smog, the Beijing Games might be the first Olympiad that is best viewed on the radio.
Olympic fans can recreate the glory of the Beijing games by locking themselves in a small, stuffy room – the downstairs loo is our tip, or a wheelie bin – lighting a pack of fags, spritzing the place with athletes’ foot power and eating a steaming hot plate of sweet and sour duck fat.
Says the Times on its front page: “Beijing Games to begin in smog of controversy.”
All day yesterday Beijing was obscured by thick grey air, a phenomenon known in the Chinese state media as “overcast and hazy skies”, and described by the rest of the world as smog.
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Posted: 8th, August 2008 | In: Back pages, Broadsheets | Comments (2)
Madeleine McCann: Paedophiles, Belgium And Anna Stam Is Famous
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann…
DAILY EXPRESS (front page): “MADELEINE: I SAW HER ON A TRAM.”
All aboard. Here’s some the hacks…
“New sighting is linked to paedophile network.”
Linked by “Scotland Yard”. That’s enough evidence for the Express.
The Sun has more:
An email from John Shord of Scotland Yard’s elite clubs and vice intelligence unit reveals that a ring of child abusers made an order for a young girl just THREE days before Maddie was snatched. Her photo was passed to the gang and the chilling deal concluded.
Grim stuff. But no link to Madeleine McCann.
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Posted: 8th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (406)
Madeleine McCann: Spotting In Amsterdam, Kate McCann’s Letter And Walking Off Set
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann…
DAILY EXPRESS (front page): “MADELEINE: SHE COULD BE ALIVE”
Madeleine McCann has resumed her pitch on the Express’ front page. And the news is positive. But let’s not carried away on a wave of hope, Anorak has seen a peek at tomorrow’s front-page exclusive –“MADELEINE: SHE COULD BE DEAD”.
To Amsterdam, where one Anna Stam says “she is haunted by the face ‘of the angelic child with the big sad eyes’ who came into her shop near Amsterdam’s red light district.”
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Posted: 7th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comments (347)
Jordan’s Letter To The Times
JORDAN, aka Katie Price, has written a letter to The Times.
Sir,:
So the Cartier Polo International was happy to invite a man convicted of assault on an elderly couple, dozens of aristocrats and an assortment of would-be actresses in minuscule dresses. But it wouldn’t have me. More than 35,000 people came to the polo match last weekend but I was excluded.
Why? I’m a successful author and businesswoman, a rider, I am learning to play polo and I compete in dressage events. I rode my first horse when I was 7, and saved up to rent my first pony, Star, when I was 11. He was the ugliest, hairiest pony in the yard but I adored him. My mum couldn’t afford for me to go to Pony Club but it didn’t stop me going to gymkhanas. I just wanted to beat all those smart little girls in their perfect jodphurs and jackets.
All my life I’ve been surrounded by horses, I earned my pocket money sweeping out stables and I now have six horses. I’ve been invited to take part in the Royal Horse of the Year show, I’ve even played a charity polo match at Cowdray Park.
My book Perfect Ponies: My Pony Care Book was shortlisted for the WHSmith children’s prize and I have written a bestselling series of stories about ponies. I know more about fetlocks and forelocks than most of the celebrities invited by Cartier and the Chinawhite nightclub. I’ve certainly mucked out more horses.
I also have a business career, I’ve a No1 perfume and a lingerie line. I’m a wife working as hard as I can to bring up my children, Harvey, Junior and Princess Tiaamii, and be a good role model for them.
I didn’t want to go to Windsor to meet royalty. I’ve met the Prince of Wales and the Queen before. I don’t need to be photographed with the A-list, I’ve met quite enough celebrities. I wanted to watch the matches and give my family a treat.
It’s pure snobbery. However good a horsewoman I may be, I’m also a glamour model. That embarrassed the organisers. I paid Chinawhite £6,000 for my table, but my manager was told that I was not the sort of person they wanted. Eliza Doolittle went to the races with Henry Higgins after a few elocution lessons, In Pretty Woman Julia Roberts went to the polo straight from Sunset Boulevard, but in the 21st century we have become even more class-ridden. Unless you are a toff or an aspiring actress, they don’t want you.
Polo should be for people who love horses, not a media charade. It should be about the sport. Horses are a wonderful hobby, one that gets you outside and keeps you fit. They should be for everyone – little girls, glamour girls, working-class girls like me. No one should be excluded.
For your comments…
Posted: 6th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities | Comments (9)
Police Log: Robbers Robbed And OCD Victim Gets Clean Away
POLICE LOG: Crime in the news…
A woman has been let off her community service order imposed for handling a stolen mobile phone because of her obsession with cleanliness.
Llandudno magistrates’ court heard that 18-year-old Emma McNicholas was worried about working in a charity shop because of second hand property. North Wales probation service accepted she had obsessive compulsive disorder.
District judge David Webster was told there was no other work available that would not involve cleanliness issues.Defence solicitor Chris Dawson said she had failed to pick up litter previously because of her situation.
Robbers who stole diamonds valued at £217,000 from a jeweller’s shop were foiled by shoppers who removed the keys from their getaway car.
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Posted: 6th, August 2008 | In: Broadsheets, TV & Radio | Comments (3)
