Anorak

Film | Anorak - Part 17

Film Category

Includes cinema reviews and trailers for upcoming films. A digest of the best and worst interviews on movies and cinema.

Rooney Mara Shines As The Loveable Hacker At The Girl wIth The Dragon Tattoo Premiere: Photos

MONDAY night meant the world Premier of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo at London’s Leicester Square Odeon, David Fincher’s adaptation of Stieg Larsson’s pot boiler. All eyes were on Rooney Mara, who – get this – has no tattoos and is thus not actually Lisbeth Salander, the vengeful feminist goblin.

Says Rooooooo-neyyyyyy, last seen playing Mark Zuckerberg’s girlfriend in The Social Network:

“They dyed my hair and shaved parts of it, they pierced my eyebrows. I got most of the piercings. This is probably the most intense role I’ve had to do. But I read the books and couldn’t imagine not doing this.”

Piercings for the part seems extreme. But this is Rooney’s moment to shine.

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Posted: 13th, December 2011 | In: Film | Comment


The Farrelly Brothers Milk The Three Stooges: Dumb and Dumbererer Without The Jokes

THE Stooges is the Farrelly Brothers film about the Three Stooges. And it is awful. It’s the disappointing sequel to the hit film that never was. It’s Dumb and Dumbererer.

The rumoured original line up to play Larry, Moe and Curly was Sean Penn, Benicio Del Toro and Jim Carrey. None of them are in it. And how delighted they must be. The film features, instead, Chris Diamantopoulos, Sean Hayes and Will Sasso, all destined to be the answer to the Trivial Pursuit question: who appeared in the worst tribute film of all time?

The film’s best bit is MTV Jersey Shore’s Snooki getting poked in the eye with a finger. Had the finger re-emerged stuck to a large eyeball attached to a tiny Juicy Couture logo-ed brain, the film could have touched cult status. (And what adolescent boy expect to see a finger in the box? C’mon own up. Yep. None of you.)

The best bit for teenage boys and gnostic priests who might watch the film hoping to see a buxom nun a bikini is the buxom nun in the bikini.

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Posted: 11th, December 2011 | In: Film | Comment


Porn Job ‘Terrifies’ Amanda Seyfried: The Linda Lovelace Crymax

WHEN Lindsay Lohan got the chop from the Linda Lovelace biopic for being a big, tragic mess, everyone wondered who would take her gig. That’s because everyone wants to watch a film about porn because it’s likely to feature a lot of sex-scenes but the lighting will be much better than the grot you watch online.

Don’t pretend you don’t.

Anyway, LiLo’s Mean Girls co-star – Amanda Seyfried – has got the job and she’s pretty frightened about the whole Deep Throat thing.

Amanda told ABCNews.com: “It’s going to be really hard and kind of terrifying at the same time.”

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Posted: 9th, December 2011 | In: Film | Comment


Ashton Kutcher Cops An Eyeful Of Lea Michele At New Year’s Eve Premiere: Photos

SO. There was Lea Michele, star of Glee, dressed in a lust-for–me frock, being peered down on by Demi Moore’s estranged husband Ashton Kutcher, who continues to marvel at breasts that aren’t as hard as an ex’s heart. Also there: Fergie (the other one), Sofia Vergara and Zac Efron…

lea-ashton

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Posted: 6th, December 2011 | In: Film | Comment


Stanley Kubrick’s Photos For Look Magazine

STANLEY Kubrick was once a staff photographer at Look magazine. Can you see his rich, majestic careful eye in the photos? Do you see hints of mass ie research by which he arrived at his subjects? If you need caption, they should be in Futura Extra Bold – it was Kubrick’s favourite:

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Posted: 6th, December 2011 | In: Film | Comment


Great Behind The Scenes Photos: Can You Identify All The Movies And TV Shows In This Gallery?

CAN you identify all the films and TV shows in this galley of Behind The Scenes Moments?

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Posted: 1st, December 2011 | In: Film | Comment (1)


TWE-TWE-TWENTY SIXTEEN!!!: Ghana Movie Trailer Of The Year

TWE-TWE-TWENTY SIXTEEN!!!: Ghana Movie Trailer Of The Year – The baby gets kicked:

Posted: 29th, November 2011 | In: Film | Comment


Watching Bella Give Birth On Twilight Gives You A Seizure: Boyfriends And Husbands

REASONS not to see Twilight: Breaking Dawn: its gives you seizures.

Brandon Gephart of Roseville, California, was watching the birthing scens when he came over funny:

Brandon Gephart and Kelly Bauman said they were watching “Breaking Dawn: Part One” at a theater Friday night when Brandon sudden began convulsing during a graphic birthing scene. Brandon said he doesn’t remember anything until he woke up on the theater floor, but Kelly said he was, “convulsing, snorting, trying to breathe.”

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Posted: 26th, November 2011 | In: Film | Comment


Antonio Banderas Pulls And Salma Hayek Feeds Germany At Puss In Boots Premiere Germany (Photos)

ANTONIO Banderas and Salma Hayek (aka Kitty Softpaws) pulled faces for the media as they arrived for the Germany premiere of the film Puss in Boots in Berlin. For reasons Anorak cannot be bothered to research, both shared the red carpet with a large golden egg. Anorak expects it to contain someone small, like Jimmy Krankie, Silvio Berlusconi or a small child, like that one from Sierra Leone Hayek breast-fed. That’s the thing with Hayek – her considerable boobs serve purposes…

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Spanish actor Antonio Banderas, left, and actress Salma Hayek from Mexico, right, carry an artificial giant egg as they arrive for the Germany premiere of the movie 'Puss in Boots' in Berlin, Germany, Tuesday, Nov. 22, 2011. (AP Photo/Michael Sohn)

Posted: 22nd, November 2011 | In: Film | Comment


Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part One London Premiere Photos: X Factor Dross And The Pope’s Flasher

OFF we went to spot stars at the Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part One UK Premiere at the massively ugly Westfield Stratford City, in massively ugly Stratford, London. Something has gone wrong with film premieres in the UK. Films were once about glamour and escapism. Now they are products you go to see in big shops. And Twilight London got the stars it deserved: Holly Willoughby, Lauren Pope and the X Factor dross on an outing with happy-slapping Tulisa. Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner are earning their millions the hard way…

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Lauren Pope arriving for the UK premiere of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1, at the Westfield Stratford City, Stratford, London.

Posted: 16th, November 2011 | In: Film | Comment


The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 Premiere Photos: Los Angeles Red Carpet – (Kristen Stewart And Taylor Lautner Shake A Leg

THE Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 Premiere Photos are brought to you by Kristen Stewart’s leg, Taylor Lautner’s teeth, Ashley Green’s cleavage and Robert Pattinson’s eyebrows of bemusement…

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Robert Pattinson arrives at the world premiere of "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1" on Monday, Nov. 14, 2011, in Los Angeles. (AP Photo/Chris Pizzello)

Posted: 15th, November 2011 | In: Film, Key Posts | Comment


Darth Vader Gets An Oscar: So Too Oprah Winfrey For Her Sarah Ferguson Comedies

JAMES James Earl Jones, aka the voice of Darth Vader, has been handed an honorary Oscar. Sir Ben Kinglsey gave him the award on the London stage set of Driving Miss Daisy.

Also awarded as part of the 3rd annual Governors Awards are Oprah Winfrey, who received the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award for her charity work, including the Oprah Winfrey Foundation, a Leadership Academy for Girls, and the Sarah Ferguson Benevolent Fund, and “the godfather of make-up” Dick Smith (The Exorcist).

Said Oprah:

“I never imagined myself receiving an Oscar, certainly not for doing what I believe is a part of my calling, a part of my being.”

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Posted: 13th, November 2011 | In: Film | Comment


You’ve Seen This Film Before: Film Poster Rip-Offs Gallery

YOU’VE seen this film before. The poster looks familiar:

Tiny People On the Beach, Giant Heads in the Clouds


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Posted: 11th, November 2011 | In: Film | Comment


The Adventures Of Tintin Censorship: Belgian Detective Upsets British And Lebanese Racism Police

MORE often than not these days the name Tintin is followed by “racist”. Sure enough, in Tintin in the Congo, written in 1930 by the Belgian George Remi, Africans are depicted as submissive and simple minded. They often come across as not half as clever as Tintin’s companion, the dog Snowy. To contemporary sensibilities the cartoon character’s derring-dos in Africa are expressions of deep bigotry and typecasting.

Now, with the release of Steven Spielberg’s 3D-animated film The Adventures of Tintin: The Secrets of the Unicorn, the cartoon racism debate has intensified again, with renewed calls for censorship and bans. British stores recently moved Tintin in the Congo from children’s shelves to adult graphic novel sections, and the publisher Egmont has wrapped the book in plastic and added a warning sign about its “offensive” content.

Over in Lebanon, there have been some strong reactions to Tintin, too. But here the cartoon has been deemed as unpalatable for very different reasons. In one cinema, Spielberg’s name was blocked out from film posters. Apparently, Lebanese movie-goers need to be shielded from knowing that a Jewish man has been involved in the film they’re about to see.

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Posted: 10th, November 2011 | In: Film, Key Posts | Comment


Kill Keith: SAW Meet Richard & Judy

KILL Keith is Keith Chegwin’s new film. It’s described as “SAW Meets Richard & Judy”. We  can only hope:

The year is 2010 and hidden away in a damp dark and blood stain cellar is a stranger, a man, a figure in the dark, someone we’d rather not know. He sits through the small hours torturing himself watching Swap Shop on fast forward over and over again. Cheggers Plays Pop posters decorate the cellar walls. The stranger moves slowly around his memorabilia filled shrine; terrifying equipment of torture fill the cellar together with several slabs of dead meat hanging from meat hooks. In the corner a man is bound and gagged in a cage while being subjected to archive TV clips of Keith Chegwin. The stranger is on an evil crusade. What is this unhealthy obsession with Keith Chegwin? Is the stranger plotting to kill our much loved Keith? Innocent victims from around the country slowly start to disappear. The damp cellar accrues more bodies. The news headlines build of reports of a serial killer. Cheggers continues his daily TV show while the nation lives in fear of evil roaming the country. Body parts begin to surface hundreds of miles from where they disappeared. How safe is Keith? How long before the stranger fulfills his obsessive desires.

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Posted: 7th, November 2011 | In: Film | Comment


Tabloid: The Joyce McKinney Story Is Unmissable

TABLOID is the story of American beauty queen, Joyce McKinney. PopBitch describes it thus:

Daily Express reporter Peter Tory (who stars in the film) told his Editor, Derek Jameson, that McKinney had been charged with armed abduction of Mormon missionary Kirk Anderson, after chaining him to a bed in a Devon cottage for three days to have sex with him. And that she now wanted to sell her story for forty grand. Jameson’s thoughful response? “Fu*k me. Give it to her… And get her story.”

Posted: 3rd, November 2011 | In: Film | Comment


God’s Eye View: A Montage Of Film Scenes From Above

THE “God’s Eye View” puts the cinema audience in the Heavens. The world is shrunk; humanity reduced:

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Posted: 3rd, November 2011 | In: Film | Comment


Steve Buscemi Is Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead…

STEVE Buscemi is dead…dead…dead…dead…dead…

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Posted: 26th, October 2011 | In: Film | Comment


The Adventures of Tintin: Secret of the Unicorn Premiere In Photos

THE Adventures of Tintin: Secret of the Unicorn Premier in photos.

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Daniel Craig arrives at the premiere of new film Tintin at the Odeon West End in London.

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Posted: 23rd, October 2011 | In: Film | Comment


Hurray! Anchorman 2 Is Scrapped!

ANCHORMAN. It’s about as funny as watching an orphanage burn down. Disagree all you want because if you like Anchorman, you’re opinion on humour isn’t worth listening to. Hell, you shouldn’t even be trusted with the air you breathe.

Sorry.

And so, the good news. Star of Anchorman, Will Ferrell, has confirmed that plans for a sequel have been shelved. Ron Burgundy has told Sky News that Paramount Pictures don’t want to make a follow up.

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Posted: 14th, October 2011 | In: Film | Comments (2)


Javier Bardem To Try And Kill James Bond

HAVE you seen No Country For Old Men? If you have, you surely agree that Javier Bardem is one of the most sinister humans to ever grace a screen.

He’s so good at playing a dead-eyed killer, that it is more than easy to actually convince yourself he actually partakes in murderous activities away from the screen.

Brrrr.

Well, Javier is to take his menacingly blank gaze supernova as its been officially announced that he’ll be playing the villain in the as-yet-untitled 23rd James Bond film.

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Posted: 12th, October 2011 | In: Film | Comment


Harrison: Living in the Material World – Scorcese’s Focus On The Quiet Beatle Is A Joy

WAS George Harrison the best of The Beatles? Was he a better singer than Paul McCartney and better songwriter,than John Lennon? Could he play the drums better than Ringo Starr. Ok, the last one’s a given – but was Harrison the true star? Paul McCartney said The Beatles were “four corners of a square – without any of those corners, you collapse”. The square is a perfect shape, but it also confining and dull. As Harrison wrote in his diary one year before the Fab Four broke up:

“Got up went to Twickenham rehearsed until lunchtime — left The Beatles — went home, and in the evening did King of Fuh at Trident studio, had chips later.”

Rock and roll, people, for the biggest squares in pop.

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Posted: 2nd, October 2011 | In: Film | Comment


Can Tom Selleck’s Moustache Make Everything Better? Video Experiment

CAN every film be made better with Tom Selleck’s Moustache? Let’s see…


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Posted: 26th, September 2011 | In: Film | Comment


Hysteria Surrounds Maggie Gyllenhaal’s Shared Vibrators (Video)

ANORAK is used to actors getting into the role. So. Here’s Maggie Gyllenhaal talking about getting into the part (surely the part getting into her? – Ed) for Hysteria, a film tracing the invention of the vibrator:

“By the time I finished the movie I’d been sent maybe 15 vibrators by different people in London with vibrator stores. It was a pleasant surprise. So I have this incredible collection, and I actually use like one or two of them. I lend them to my friends, and they’ll take them for six months at a time.”

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Posted: 22nd, September 2011 | In: Film, Key Posts | Comment


The Reviews For Allison Pearson’s I Don’t Know How She Does It Are Beyond Parody

ALLISON Pearson’s book I Don’t Know How She Does It has ben turned into a film starring Sarah Jessica Parker. If the reviews are a guide, the movie should be hilarious:

Sandra Parsons writes in the Daily Mail:

Now, I hate to sound unsisterly. But if I hear one more woman droning on about how hard life is for us today, I may have to set about her with my enormously bulky handbag — or possibly a copy of my predecessor Allison Pearson’s brilliant novel, I Don’t Know How She Does It, now made into a film with Sarah Jessica Parker.

When the novel was published ten years ago, a colleague who’d just had a baby bought me a copy, admiringly inscribed: ‘I really don’t know how you do it!’ (At the time, I had a full-time job, a five-year-old and a baby). My answer then was the same as it is now: by simply getting on with it.

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Posted: 16th, September 2011 | In: Film | Comment