Anorak

Music | Anorak - Part 30

Music Category

Music news and reviews, music videos and tittle tattle, with a lingering look at the past from Anorak. A source for rock, pop, album and live music, new releases, artist interviews and features.

Glastonbury Day 2 2011: Shady Wayne Rooney And Neon Coleen Blend In (Photos)

FACES of The Day: Wayne Rooney and Coleen Rooney have been blending in backstage at the Glastonbury Festival in Somerset. Wayne has been blending in with the people who wear sunglasses in the rain. Coleen has been blending in with the vat of Strongbow Cider in the Scrumpy Bus. If she falls in, unless she flashes the whites of her teeth, we might never see her again…

Take care, Coleen. You’re ok… Just a little bit further…

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Posted: 24th, June 2011 | In: Music | Comment


Face Of The Day: The Glastonbury Festival Bible Reader

GLASTONBURY 2011 gives us Our Face of The Day. While you were watching the Master Musicians of Joujouka on the Pyramid Stage, she was reading TheBible..?

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Posted: 24th, June 2011 | In: Music | Comment


Chrissy Iley Tallk Bravely To Andrea Corr: Wallow In This

ANDREA Corr, formerly tabloid favourite Andrea Phwoar of The Corrs, is talking to Chrissy Iley in the Telegraph. Iley is not afraid to be brave in the face of fame:

Now 36, she’s as gorgeous as ever, svelte and smiling in a Vera Wang top with flawless skin and sparkling eyes.

And then it got braver:

She is coming up to her second wedding anniversary to Brett Desmond, a hedge-fund manager and son of the Irish billionaire Dermot Desmond, whom she married (in front of celebrity guests including Bono) at a golf club in County Clare.

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Posted: 24th, June 2011 | In: Music | Comment


Face Of The Day: The Glastonbury Mud Surfers

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Posted: 23rd, June 2011 | In: Music | Comment


Glastonbury 2011 Photos: U2 – ‘Shite, Arse, Tax Dodgers’

GLASTONBURY 2011 in photos: The graffiti says U2 are “shite, arse , tax dodgers”. We offer this without comment…

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Festival goers make their way through the mud at the Glastonbury Festival in Somerset.

 

 

Posted: 23rd, June 2011 | In: Music | Comments (8)


Vegetarian And Contrarian Morrissey Likes Lady GaGa’s Meat Dress

MORRISSEY is, as you may have guessed by his constant bleating, a vegetarian. He’s so staunchly vegetarian that he actually makes people decided to eat only meat, just on the off-chance it could irritate him. Constant haranguing never stopped people from doing what they do, rather, only provokes them to do more as an act of snidery.

Mozza has, in the past, walked out on shows because the smell of festival burger vans was making him feel sick, which is a bit rich when you consider that the overriding smell of a festival is faeces and badly rolled joints.

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Posted: 22nd, June 2011 | In: Music | Comments (2)


Glastonbury 2011 In Photos: Fans, Bands, Survival Skills Muddy Bogs

GLASTONBURY 2011: In Photos: The mud. The fans. The bands. Hideous toilets that the UN would condemn. A stranger in your tent, or yurt if you’re a thirtysomething stood in a muddy field with your mates, their mates and someone’s kid called Rufus who was taken out of school early to get a life experience. Squalor. Seasoned campaigners with wheelbarrows. The aching realisation that the plastic dickheads in the liveried camper trucks and the rooms in guest houses got it right. The low of getting sopping wet to the bone marrow and the high of not caring. The chance to be one of the mob up for a good time. The fantastic music  and the student with his bongo drums. The mix of the good and the bad. And the good tipping the balance…

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Festival goers make their way through the mud at the Glastonbury Festival in Somerset.

Posted: 22nd, June 2011 | In: Music | Comment


Adele Is Amy Winehouse In A Fat Suit: Wino Gives The Fans What They Want In Belgrade (Video)

AMY Winehouse has been giving the fans what they demand in Belgrade. The hacks accuse Wino of disappointing the punters by being drunk and behaving badly on stage. Pah! She gave ’em what they wanted.

Amy, as we know, is sober, a fantastic dancer, an entertainer who gives her all to the show, a raconteur, the epitome of manners who knows the correct way to eat soup in the company of her pals at the golf club, and a rare talent. But Wino is a flaccid, spinning mess of dribble and goo. It’s her act. And she is stuck with it. Such is the clamour for wrongness and sensation that Wino outsells Amy – massively.

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Posted: 19th, June 2011 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comment (1)


RIP Seth Putnam: You Lived by Your Own Rules

RIP Seth Putnam, you were a leading light in the band Anal Cunt. You were only 43.

Seth Putnam also played with  Executioner and Satan’s Warriors, Angry Hate, Post Mortem, Shit Scum, Upside Down Cross, Adolf Satan, and Vaginal Jesus.

His aim was “to get the most offensive, stupid, dumb, etc name possible“. (He might have tried Genesis but it was taken.)

Songs included: You Were Pregnant So I Kicked You In The Stomach, I Lit Your Baby On Fire, I Sent Concentration Camp Footage to America’s Funniest Home Videos, I Intentionally Ran over Your Dog and Women: Nature’s Punching Bag.

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Posted: 17th, June 2011 | In: Music | Comment (1)


Joss Stone Kidnap Plot: Police Spot Two Black Men From Manchester In Rural Devon

THE two men arrested on suspicion of conspiracy to commit grievous bodily harm and conspiracy to commit robbery against the singer Joss Stone are Junior Bradshaw, 30, and Kevin Liverpool, 33. We spotted them at Exeter Magistrates’ Court.

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Posted: 16th, June 2011 | In: Music | Comments (4)


Justin Timberlake Is A Filthy Dope Fiend Who Likes Sticking Drugs Up Himself

SEXY back? Justin Timberlake is more likely to be indulging in blow-backs after he admitted that he “absolutely” smokes marijuana.

So there you go. Timberlake is nothing but a wretched stoner who is wheeling out the same ol’ line of ‘it helps me to switch off and relax’. Aye, and eat two thousand packets of Cheetos while giggling at monkey’s pissing in their own mouths in YouTube videos.

He said:

“The only thing pot does for me is it gets me to stop thinking. Sometimes I have a brain that needs to be turned off. Some people are just better high.”

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Posted: 16th, June 2011 | In: Music | Comment (1)


Joss Stone Escapes Being Taken To Manchester – Fiat Drivers Arrested

JOSS Stone is fine. The singer of urban songs who lives in Devon has not been kidnapped by two men from Manchester. Two Northern men did not try to reconnect her with her musical roots. But they have been arrested on suspicion of conspiracy to rob the singer.

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Posted: 15th, June 2011 | In: Music | Comment


Soulja Boy Was Hacked When He Did A Racist All Over The Facebook Gays

DESPITE the fact Soulja Boy can’t even hold the vaguest of notes while performing his odd, skewed take on rap-pop, he became something of a sensation. He got his swag on and everyone else forgot to utilise the primary function of their ears.

Soulja Boy, for those half a dozen people who still care, is also famous for getting involved in numerous ‘beefs’… that doesn’t mean he’s opened up a kitchen, rather, he likes slagging people off. And the latest people to face his ire are The Gays and Whitey.

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Posted: 14th, June 2011 | In: Music | Comment (1)


Justin Bieber And Chris Brown Team Up To Really Hate Women Together

TOGETHER, Chris Brown and Justin Bieber have an amazing loathing for womankind. Sure, they may croon their paeans to the boobier sex, but they both quite obviously loathe them.

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Posted: 13th, June 2011 | In: Music | Comments (3)


Isle Of White Festival Photos: Brilliant Pictures Of The Fans In The Sun And The Mud

THE Isle of White Festival in photos… Did you survive the sun and then the rain? Did you slide in the mud soup and giggle – then travel for hours in the dried stink? Did you dress in a plastic burka and brave the wether? Did you sit on the beach and hope that the sun would last? If you did, you ought well be in our big gallery of photos. You know what the strs look like – this is what you looked like…

 

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Festival goers in the mud during the final day of the Isle of Wight Festival.

Posted: 13th, June 2011 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comment (1)


Jennifer Lopez Sings In A Fallopian Tube At Capital FM’s Summertime Ball: Photos

THE Capital FM’s Summertime Ball was staged in a rainy Wembley Stadium, London. Still Nicole Scherzinger did her best to humidify the air with a legs akimbo show; much like Jessie J, who will do for the shabby white sock what Clark Gable did for the vest. Enrique Iglesias got off with fan on stage. JLS sang down the phone. The Wanted channelled the drippiness. Lisa Snowdon gave us a George Clooney-eye view. And Jennifer Lopez sang in a fallopian tube.

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Posted: 12th, June 2011 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comment


‘Banker’s Bicep’ Iggy Pop Insures Isle Of White Festival Rocks: Photos

THE Isle of White Festival In Photos: Iggy Pop is 64. Swearing has not moved on. Hypnotising chickens never gets old. So. Here is the shirtless torso and heroin-addiction recovered face of Swift cover insurance (if you’re a musician who’s ever got cover from them, let us know) and Boston-based Metrobank shouting at pigeons dressed as the cool kids.

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Posted: 12th, June 2011 | In: Music | Comment (1)


Pregnant Lily Allen Marries At Gloucestershire Conservative Youth Rally (Photos)

LILY Allen is now married to Sam Cooper. She’s four months’ pregnant. She married at St James the Great Church in Cranham, Gloucs, near her £3million home.

The dress was designed by French designer Delphine Manivet. On first reading that read like Delphine MiniVan. But all is barely showing, and the big Rolls Royce transporter sufficed

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Posted: 12th, June 2011 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comment


Lily Allen Marries Sam Cooper: Wedding Photos

UNCONVENTIONAL Lily Allen married her lover Sam Cooper at St James The Great Church in Cranham. She wore white. She had bridesmaids. Then she went to live in the country – as pop stars always do…

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Lily Allen arrives at St James The Great Church in Cranham with her father Keith Allen for her wedding to Sam Cooper.

Posted: 11th, June 2011 | In: Music | Comment


Why Is U2 So Popular? This Is A Great Answer

WHY is U2 so popular? Why is the band fronted by Mr G9 – that’s Bono – popular? Why? WHY? Daniel Rosenthal explains beautifully:

Big Market

Imagine you’re a middle-aged, upper-middle class male.You live in a large metropolitan area. You have a good job. Your wife does Pilates.  Your oldest just started Kindergarten. Yes, you’re an adult but you’re still cool! Your jeans cost $125. Sometimes you wear sneakers with a blazer!

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Posted: 10th, June 2011 | In: Music | Comments (6)


Rihanna ‘Gropes’ Underage Fan And Parent Goes Mental: Photos

RIHANNA was once a really enjoyable pop-star. Now, she’s a controversy-machine, continually setting out to shock people without letting up, leaving everyone a little tired of the whole thing thanks to overkill.

And now, she’s outraged a mother by apparently ‘groping’ one of her fans who is underage. Of course, ‘underage’ implies that Rihanna groped the fan up her front-garden or something, which clearly isn’t the case or the headline would read ‘Rihanna Rapes Child’. Which she didn’t.

The photos, posted online at MediaTakeOut.com have been complained about by the girl in question’s family, which is invariably the source of great embarrassment to a teenage girl, now set for a life of bullying from her peers, thanks to her Auntie shooting her mouth off like a weird homophobe.

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Posted: 10th, June 2011 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comment


The Darkness Presents The Top Ten One-Hit Wonders Of The Noughties

THEY’RE back. Justin Hawkins of The Darkness was on stage at the O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire in west London, the band’s first show in London after reuniting. Of course, they only had one hit, “I Believe in a Thing Called Love”.

Surely, a part on a nostalgia tribute show with other acts surely beckons. Time, then , to present the rest of that line-up of one hits wonders from the Noughties…

The Darkness – 2003

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Posted: 9th, June 2011 | In: Music | Comments (2)


Noel Gallagher Wants Liam To Come And Ruin A Perfectly Good Wedding

WARRING siblings, Liam and Noel Gallagher, haven’t seen eye-to-beady-eye since they collectively knocked Oasis on the head. A welcome relief for anyone with ears and at least one brain cell.

And thanks largely to the current crop of indie poppers all being dullards in tight, bollock-rupturing jeans, people still look to these bickering feather-cut headed has-beens for something to write about. With Noel getting married to Who Cares?, thoughts go to the fact that when families get together at a wedding, reunions can sometimes end in fistfights on the car park.

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Posted: 7th, June 2011 | In: Music | Comment


RIP Gordon Lorenz: You Gave Us The Most Unforgettable Song In Pop Music History

RIP Gordon Lorenz. you wrote the hit song There’s No-one Quite Like Grandma. It was sung by the St Winifred’s School Choir, from Stockport. It was the Christmas number one in 1980, written to mark the Queen Mum’s 80th birthday. It was her reward for longevity.

Is that your legacy? One teeth-melting song? No. You also wrote Matchstalk Men and Matchstalk Cats and Dogs, a tribute to the artist LS Lowry (a man now honoured in an eponymous hotel where Manchester United players take their mistresses, allegedly). That song featured the St Winifred’s School Choir on backing vocals.

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Posted: 7th, June 2011 | In: Music | Comment (1)


Cheryl Cole V Run DMC – She ‘Talk This Way’

CHERLY Cole V Run DMC – She ‘Talks this Way’.

The story of a “nation sweetheart’s” X Factor sacking – as told by Jenny Bede.

Posted: 7th, June 2011 | In: Music | Comment