Anorak

Celebrities | Anorak - Part 408

Celebrities Category

Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.

Bunny Spoiler

‘IT is at times of crisis, such as in the immediate aftermath of the 9/11 attacks on New York and the Pentagon, during the war with Iraq or while the grief caused by the Madrid bombings is still fresh, that the vacuous would of celebrity seems just that.

At it like rabbits

Indeed, it is more than vacuous, it is obscene – and our celebration of its empty world only serves to make us collaborators.

Tonight, VH-1 presents a programme entitled The Fabulous Life Of Hugh Hefner, part of a series of documentaries that make Hello! magazine appear hard-hitting.

Hefner, as we all no doubt are aware, is the founder of Playboy, a sort of adolescent stuck in the pyjama-clad body of someone old enough to be your grandfather.

To the observer and depending on your perspective, Hefner’s life appears either to be one long bachelor fantasy or a sad escape from having to engage with the complexities of the real world.

For VH-1, it is just an excuse to show lots of scantily-clad women…’

Posted: 15th, March 2004 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Terrible Television

‘WITH the proliferation of docu-dramas and reality TV shows, it takes a while to believe that The Worst Week Of My Life, BBC1’s new comedy offering, is actually fictional.

Sarah Alexander prepares for another put down

The presence of Ben Miller and Sarah Alexander as the two leads – Howard and Mel – who are about to be married helps to set it apart from the normal fare of fly-on-the-wall voyeurfests.

But the subject matter – how the preparations for what is supposed to be the happiest day of Howard and Mel’s life start to come unravelled – would lend itself perfectly to the Driving School-Airport school of programme-making.

Indeed, one imagines that the only reason that The Worst Week Of My Life was made as a comedy was because the BBC drama department saw it before the BBC documentary.

Tonight’s first episode sets the tone for the whole series – anything that can go wrong will go wrong…and then some. Think Meet The Parents meets Whitehall farce.’

Posted: 12th, March 2004 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Survival Of The Fittest

‘IF the world ended tomorrow, what would you do? You would, of course, do nothing, much as you do now.

A year’s ration of Anthea Turner

If the TV continued to broadcast a signal, it’d probably take most of you a few years before you noticed anything was up, and only then after you’d realised the night’s episode of Changing Rooms had been on nine times before.

The biggest impact to your life would be if the electricity supply went down. What then would you do? Light a candle? Pah! Don’t flatter yourself, you’d probably try to plug it in.

You need training in readiness for the end of life as you know it. And actor Nick Frost is happy to give you a few pointers in what to do.

Tonight on FIVE at 7:15 Frost takes advice from former Navy SEAL Jim Martin in how to avoid being shot if someone if shooting at you.

You, a sitting target in your Comfi-Slax and E-Z Chair, would not last too long. Frost, however, would survive, and go onto survive a tribal attack in the jungle, a charging tank and hypothermia.

He’d also know how to keep the human race going in the aftermath of a global disaster. It gives little away to say that the recipe for survival involves a Mini Cooper, a string of copper wire and a signed photograph of Anthea Turner.

Failing that, Vanessa Feltz will make a human race, of sorts…’

Posted: 11th, March 2004 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Simple Simon

‘YOU can say what you like about Simon Cowell – and anyone who foisted Westlife on the world deserves his fair share of opprobrium – but he certainly has a talent not only for knowing what the public likes but also for giving it to them.

A big screaming nellie in a grey T-shirt

A couple of years ago, he was unknown outside the music business, but such has been his success on Pop Idol and then on American Idol that there is even talk of him becoming the star of his own cartoon series.

As a judge in Pop Idol, Cowell was happy to cast himself as the pantomime villain and did so with such aplomb that he is now worth millions after achieving what few of his bands could do, making himself a household name in the United States.

Tonight, he talks to Mirror editor Piers Morgan in another edition of Tabloid Tales about his transformation from a glorified A&R man to TV’s Mr Nasty and how the papers have treated him during that time.

Max Clifford may be a fan, but not every one is. Tony Parsons calls Cowell “a big screaming nellie in a black T-shirt”. True enough – but a very successful nellie at that.’

Posted: 10th, March 2004 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Hello! Dolly

‘EVERY era has its mysteries. Where did Lord Lucan run to? Who killed Cock Robin? Did Jack Ruby act alone?

‘No, dear. It’s not time for your afternoon nap yet’

And so these days we have our own puzzle to solve: who is the Marquesa de Varela, the shadowy figure who travels the better parts of globe securing interviews for Hello! magazine?

Tonight BBC1 tries to find an answer to that question as it broadcasts The Secrets Of Hello! at 10:35.

We do indeed see the Marquesa de Varela at work, and the show pays particular heed to her involvement with photos of the wedding of Catherine Zeta Jones to Michael Douglas.

In order to protect her boss, Varela apparently signed a false declaration, so taking the blame for the picture fiasco.

What else we know is that Varela is a place in Argentina, and the Marquesa may or may be or may not be one of its titled gentry.

It is all pretty mysterious, and serves to make a magazine that is essentially a PR vehicle for nobs, gobs and celebrity yobs look something more than it is.’

Posted: 9th, March 2004 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Fighting Talk

‘THE truth is that, despite the blanket coverage of the recent Gulf War II, most of us have got very little idea what happens in the front line.

The opposition forces were surprisingly friendly

Our image of war, unless we have experienced it ourselves, is probably conditioned more by what we have seen in the cinema than by any other influence – and life, as we know, is rarely like it appears on screen.

The first part of Channel 4’s two-part documentary, The Truth About Killing, concentrates on the psychology of killing and how, far from being murderous, humans are very much conditioned not to take another person’s life.

But it also debunks some of the more fanciful – and even glamorous – notions of war. For instance, only a mere 25% of soldiers fire their guns in anger during a conflict and then they often do it into thin air.

This is a worthwhile antidote to the usual images we are fed. If people sat through a murder trial, they would soon realise that the vast majority of murderers are nothing like The Yorkshire Ripper.

If they went to war, they would soon realise how little “fighting” is actually done.’

Posted: 8th, March 2004 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Barking Mad

‘AT the risk of offending about 6 million of you, Crufts (BBC2) is a show designed to make fusty women who summon their dogs in loud shrill voices feel that they are not alone.

Foufou and her new potty

They are part of a gang. It’s a nationwide movement and it’s coming to Birmingham’s NEC centre in a fleet of ageing estate cars with grills separating the boot from the car’s human areas.

If Crufts were smell-o-vision, it would stink. Not in the same way that, say, Hollyoaks stinks, but in a way that gets into your clothes and on your food.

You might have guessed that dog lovers we are not.

Dogs are animals that through generations of in-breeding have reached the heady heights of being able to roll over on their backs at the scream of a command word, and not always in their own excrement.

Yet still they are famed among a certain type for their intelligence. Since such a quality is relative, we can only wonder at the mental capacity of the family Joyce (most dog lovers are called Joyce) left behind.

But, then, they have to put up with her. And would you want to communicate with a women who kisses her “baby” to bed – with tongues?’

Posted: 5th, March 2004 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Hard To Swallow

‘IT’S not as if Jordan is easy to avoid at the best of times, the giant silicone balloons on her chest make sure of that.

Danielle realised she wasn’t going to get laid tonight

But last night we had a double helping of the ubiquitous model as she made a guest appearance in Footballers’ Wives on ITV and chatted to Piers Morgan over on BBC1 about her nine-year career as the darling of the tabloid press.

Tonight, thankfully, we are spared the dubious charms of the woman formerly known as Katie Price and are instead served up a half-hour helping of Club Reps.

One imagines that this is the kind of job Jordan would have fallen into had she not attached a bicycle pump to her breasts all those years ago and pumped her way to fame and a not inconsiderable fortune.

Of course, now we know that what ITV show us of the reps’ behaviour is actually a sanitised version of what really goes on. There are no group blow jobs on tonight’s show, but plenty to make us gag anyway.’

Posted: 4th, March 2004 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Blood On The Tracks

‘ANY programme about Jarvis, the firm that, among many things, fiddles about with train tracks, might not begin on time.

‘The train on Platform 4…’

It might overrun, limping home around a month or so late, and there may be a few casualties along the way.

But you are TV viewers – sorry, TV customers – and must be prepared to put up with a few disruptions while things are improved.

If you do have any issues you’d like to discuss about this company profile, please consult the citizen’s charter and write to Jarvis.

Only don’t send your missives to Jarvis, since things have gotten so bad that they have decided that from now on they would like to be known as Engenda.

A spokesman for the firm denies that the name change is designed to distance the ‘new’ firm from the old one. But whatever the reasons, you should address your concerns to Engenda.

Deborah Cameron, the new Murdoch professor of language and communication at Worcester College Oxford, says: ‘The new names are always Latin. That is another reason why people think it is such bollocks.

“The thing that is particularly crappy about it is it is fake Latin. It is dignifying a very ordinary thing with a ridiculous label.’

“Crappy” and “bollocks”! Hmmm… that sounds like the makings of a decent company motto. What is the Greek for Potters Bar?’

Posted: 3rd, March 2004 | In: Celebrities | Comment


The Bees’ Knees

‘OKAY, so here’s a surprise – Maximillion Deveraux got bullied at school. Even if his parents had called him Bully Me, it is hard to believe he would have got more hassle from the bigger boys than he did with a name like Maximillion.

‘Ledley King to Queen’s Bishop Three’

Anyway, the result of all this bullying means that Max – a bachelor from rural Herefordshire – is now so painfully introverted that he gets probably gets shy in front of his chess computer.

Not too shy, however, that he didn’t agree to appear as the subject on tonight’s final part of Channel 4’s Faking It series with the task of trying to pass himself off as a football manager.

Max should have the tactical side of the game sewn up – he’s a former professional chess player and has seven A-levels to his name (which says all you need to know about his social life).

But can he pass himself off as the Arsene Wenger of Brentford? Do I not think so, as all the best bosses say…’

Posted: 2nd, March 2004 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Celebrity 2004

‘FOR those of you who can’t get enough of Jonathan Ross’ film reviewing technique and presentation style there is a chance to watch the man carry on where he left of in the small hours of today.

‘I’d like to thank Sean Penn for making this all possible’

You can see highlights of last night’s Oscars on BBC1 at 10:55 tonight.

For the other 99% of us who still bemoan the fact that Barry Norman’s informed take on film has been banished to the B picture that is satellite telly, this is the first opportunity to see who won what at the Oscars.

But just like you don’t want to see all of Ross – who has replaced film with the world “celebrity” – you don’t want to see the entire Oscar ceremony.

Unless you are related to a top sound editor or give a jot who did the best make up last year, the event has dips and highs.

The apogee must be the Best Actress In A Leading Role Oscar. Halle Berry gushed like Niagara and Gwynwth Paltrow emoted like a friend of Princess Diana.

But with Ross around, it all seems in keeping with the theme of self-promotion.’

Posted: 1st, March 2004 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Dream Homes

‘WHEN Bill Cosby hung up his jumper for the last time, we thought we’d seen the end of the Cosby Show.

The antithesis of reality TV

The cast went on to bigger and better things (although apart form Lisa Bonet’s brief film career and romance with Lenny Kravitz, none of these things seem to have involved acting).

But it was a winning format. And since TV loves a winning formula, there’s a new variant on the Cosby theme today on BBC2. It’s called My Wife And Kids.

The family in this at times syrupy-sweet concoction are African-American (as with the Cosbys) and live in the suburbs of Connecticut (the Cosbys lived in the suburbs of New York).

They are also pretty well off professionals (Bill Cosby was a doctor), and live in the ideal American home of much wood, massive space and absolute clinical newness.

They are called the Kyles. The Cosbys were called the Cosbys. And those are the key differences in a show that is for all intents and purposes the Cosby Show Mark II.’

Posted: 27th, February 2004 | In: Celebrities | Comment


We Could Eat Heroes

‘RICK Stein is like someone’s trendy dad. Or rather, he is like someone’s dad who is tying hard to be trendy.

‘No, I think cod is whiter than haddock…’

You can imagine being a young boy in Rick’s care – and do call him Rick – being taken out with what Rick calls the “gang” to talk about girls and life today.

You’d come to realise that Rick’s trick for getting the ladies into the sack must be to bore the pants off them. It’s a skill he’s been trying to educate us in for too long now.

Although, take care because Rick might just as easily bore them and you to death, and that is not good at all, unless you are a German cannibal.

But tonight Rick takes things down a notch when he talks about the dumping of monkfish on the Cornish coast.

As part of his syrupy-entitled Rick Stein’s Food Heroes, Rick also shows us how much he enjoys eating prawns.

Prawns are one of Rick’s hero foods, although they are less likely to save you than they are to make you feel queasy.

As such, they are not a bit unlike Rick, only more pink…’

Posted: 26th, February 2004 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Those Who Can Do…

‘CLARE Short: discuss. Use graphs and diagrams wherever possible.

‘Do as I say and not as I do’

That would a make good geography GCSE question. Students would be given flags with a picture of Short on and asked to stick them into places on the globe where the charmless one has worked good deeds.

Of course, it would be a trick question because Short’s record as the face of this country’s overseas development was as pathetic as her failure to step down from the Cabinet as promised the moment a British gun was fired in anger in Saddam’s Iraq.

But Short did resign – eventually – and ever since that happy day has been touting herself around like a minor celeb.

Tonight we get to see Short teaching geography at a inner-city school. She’s there for a week and the good news is that she managed to find her way to the school and back again.

Knowing where you are is a good thing when it some to geography. Knowing where you are going is another thing entirely. And where Short is off to is anyone’s guess.

Perhaps a very small line in a history book, just under Robin Cook…’

Posted: 25th, February 2004 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Do The Hustle

‘IF I had a penny for every film or TV show based around a bunch of guys and gals getting together for one more job – the big one! – I’d have at least a pound.

The mockney Ocean’s 11

Make that £1.01, as tonight Hustle, the BBC’s new show from the makers of Spooks, slinks onto the screen.

To begin with the plot. The leader of a gang of grifters, Mickey “Brick” Stone, has just been released from the clinker. He sets about rounding up the old faces for one last job.

And, as with Spooks, the faces are attractive in a non-threatening way and the clothes are sharp.

Then there’s Robert Vaughan, he of the Man From U.N.C.L.E, now old enough to be that Old Codger From GRANDPA, but still not to old to steal a considerable amount of limelight from his younger peers.’

Posted: 24th, February 2004 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Sky’ s The Limit

‘FOR all the huff and puff about Rupert Murdoch’s ambitions to take over the role of Britain’s biggest broadcaster from the BBC, his Sky TV channels still pour out an unrelenting stream of sport and American-made shows.

How could this have been allowed to happen?

You’d suppose that if Sky had genuine ambitions to be the No. 1 broadcaster it would set about making some decent programmes.

A look at the BBC’s tired schedules – EastEnders, more EastEnders, panel gameshows and DIY makeovers – suggests that Sky’s challenge to be better than the Beeb is not exactly Herculean.

Sky News shows that Sky has the powers to be up there with the best of them. The channel is informative, entertaining and well produced – it is everything the Beeb’s News 24 is not.

But the elements that make Sky News a success are missing from elsewhere in the Sky portfolio.

Tonight, Sky One – the would-be BBC 1 – has a slew of Star Trek Episodes surrounding two homemade shows: Britain’s Hardest and Mile High.

Mile High is the comedy show set a mile above ground level, where the air is rich is nitrous oxide – we can think of no other reason why anyone is laughing.

And Britain’s Hardest is just terrible.

If Sky want to beat the Beeb, it has to try harder. Any broadcaster that employs Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen deserves to be ground into so much dust…’

Posted: 23rd, February 2004 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Afternoon Delights

‘TONIGHT’S episode of Friends is the one where Ross plays a spineless wonder.

The one where we don’t laugh

Joey acts like an unconvincing actor, Rachel flicks her hair, Phoebe says something to suggest the network’s drugs policy is not all it should be, Chandler fears he’s a homosexual and Monica cleans.

Ooops! Our mistake, that was every other week’s show. Tonight’s instalment is very different because Ross is also chinless.

The advice for anyone wishing to see something funny is to watch Paramount, the cable channel, at 1:30 each weekday afternoon.

This is the Seinfeld half hour, and it is everything that Friends is not: it is funny.

It is funny in the way that things are funny in everyday life. It is the show that is famously about nothing.

Friends is the show about nothingness.’

Posted: 20th, February 2004 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Vice Of An Angel

‘THE idea that we need an hour of prime-time TV to discover The Real Charlotte Church is absurd –anyone who has picked up a tabloid newspaper over the past year will have read far more than they need about the teenager with the so-called voice of an angel.

Charlotte’s talent is in the jeans

But the Channel 4 slot that once gave us a programme entitled Liz Hurley’s Brains is not exactly the place to go for serious documentary.

Instead, in tonight’s Fallen Angel expect nothing more than a recap of what from the outside looks like a typical teenager’s life – smoking, drinking, going out with “unsuitable” boys – lived in untypical circumstances.

The excuse for the programme is that Charlotte turns 18 on Sunday and, as has been well documented, she will then have access to the many millions of pounds she has earned through her singing.

How much do we reckon she can blow on booze and fags?’

Posted: 19th, February 2004 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


We Love Lucy

‘CONSIDERING the degree of sensitivity needed to be good actor, it’s surprising to learn that Gary Lucy is planning to polish his star in Hollywood.

FORE!!!

It appears that the star of Footballers’ Wives (he plays club captain Kyle Pascoe) is the last one realise that it’s the very woodeness of his acting that must have landed him the part.

They say that one of the hardest things an actor has to do is to walk normally. Lucy moves as if a large golf club has been passed though the arms of his silk shirt while another has been placed squarely up his backside.

He is bad actor playing a bad actor playing a good footballer going bad.

And in among all this goodness and badness is a large dollop of ugly, notably from the show’s new signings, Amber and Conrad Gates.

Who this blond footballer, the captain of England, and his parasitical vain wife are based on escapes us utterly. If you know, please write in and let us on in the secret.

And then tell Lucy, who appears to be the last one to know everything.’

Posted: 18th, February 2004 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Flat Pop

‘THE Brit Awards have been pretty tame affairs over the past couple of years – no Jarvis Cocker climbing on stage with Michael Jackson to bare his arse and no Chumbawamba throwing water over John Prescott.

‘This one’s for you, Gary Barlow’

Hell, even the Superbowl can manage an almost bare breast – a feat that the Spice Girls were probably the last to achieve over here.

But if controversy has died down, then the quality of the acts on show has surely improved, even if a lot of them are from the other side of the Atlantic.

This evening sees Beyonce teaming up with Outkast, Missy Elliot taking the stage with Alicia Keys and Gwen Stefani and both the Black Eyes Peas and 50 Cent in attendance.

It is The Darkness and Dido who are expected to be the evening’s big winners, however – and Duran Duran will get an award for Outstanding Contribution To Music.

All that and the certainty that Robbie Williams won’t win anything this year should have you tuning into ITV at 8pm – and you might even get to hear the odd naughty word if you listen closely enough.’

Posted: 17th, February 2004 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Second Chances

‘TV can give celebrities a new lease of life when their original career has petered out.Tonight, we’ve got Suggs on Salvage Squad (Channel 4 8pm), seeing if he and his team can repair a 1950s Massey Harris 780 combine harvester.

Suggs is known to an entire generation as the nutty boy leader of Madness, the ska band who sang about Baggy Trousers and sailing across the sea to see Uncle Sam.

How times change: now Suggs wears overalls and Uncle Sam comes to see us on a high-speed jet – sometimes with bombs attached to it.

Meanwhile, on BBC2 at the same time, Terry Jones is leading us through his Medieval Lives. This week the former Monty Pythoner is investigating the role of monks in the Middle Ages.

This is history as “tremendous good fun”. Terry, a comedian by repute, tells us about something most of us find dull, so making it less dull and entertaining.

To some degree Jones succeeds. Indeed, Suggs makes a decent fist of passing himself off as a man with a working knowledge of the mechanics of farm machinery.

But you still can’t help pining for the real experts. What did happen to the Open University-type boffins who used to pop up on BBC2 in the early hours?’

Posted: 16th, February 2004 | In: Celebrities | Comment


The Naftas

‘YOU may have to wait until next Tuesday to find out whose boob will accidentally pop out when Justin Timberlake climbs on stage at the Brit Awards, although the clever money is on it being one of Cat Deeley’s kittens.

‘I’d like to thank Tony, Cherie, the factory in Germany that makes people like me, Ibrahim al-Marashi…’

But if you can’t wait that long for your next awards show – and let’s face it, it is something of a disgrace that there isn’t a single gong being handed out this weekend – then you’ll have to make do with the Channel 4 Political Awards 2004 tonight.

There are six finalists this year for the award for having the greatest influence on British politics in 2003 – Tony Blair, Robin Cook, George Galloway, David Kelly, Benjamin Zephaniah and Dave Chick

Intelligence sources suggest that Mr Cook was originally down to take the award, but under pressure from Downing Street his name has been amended to read Mr Blair.

We point out that Lord Hutton has investigated these rumours and agrees wholeheartedly with Leo Blair that it is all Channel 4’s fault for not using indelible ink.’

Posted: 13th, February 2004 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Jack Is Back

‘AFTER seeing how celebs coped in an untypical 24-hour period, it’s now our turn to spend another day with Jack Bauer.

Jack door

Once again, the hero in the employ of some secretive counter-terrorism organisation in Los Angeles has just 24 hours in which to save swathes of human kind from a grisly end.

Oh, and to rescue his daughter, the essentially blonde Kim, who is once more in peril.

Tonight, we rejoin Jack three years after he last saved the day.

To reveal the plot would be to spoil the suspense that builds from the moment when audiences first hear Jack’s rasping voice.

But one key moment that shocked what remains an archly conservative American audience has the show’s black American President David Palmer kissing his white girlfriend.

Contrary to what many Americans might think, Jack has no need to save either or them. He needs his energies to save the rest of us.’

Posted: 12th, February 2004 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Wives And Wherefore

‘LOVERS of trash TV have never had it so good – no sooner has I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here! finished than a third series of Footballers’ Wives (a programme firmly in the ‘so bad, it’s good’ category) starts.

Giving a new meaning to ‘team strip’

Anyway, tonight’s episode starts off with the funeral of the unlamented Jason Turner, but it is less than 10 minutes before the first naked bum hoves into view and after that it’s petty well back to where the last series left off.

Psycho Tanya Turner, the late Jason’s wife, sets her sights on Earl’s Park’s new signing, England captain Conrad Gates, but she’s more than met her match in the shape of Conrad’s bitchy wife Amber.

Otherwise it’s just a blur of weddings, threesomes, glamorous parties in mock-Georgian mansions, a dog curry served up by Triads and Marcos from El Dorado.

This is what Dream Team would have been like if it was written by the people who have us Sunset Beach.’

Posted: 11th, February 2004 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Queen Of The Jungle

‘ARCHBISHOP Ant N Dec: “Sirs and Jordans, I here present unto you Queen Kerry I (and please let her be the last); your undoubted Queen: wherefore all you who are come this day to do your homage and service, are you willing to do the same?”

Kerry’s face is set to earn her a fortune

The People signify their willingness and joy, by loud and repeated acclamations, all with one voice crying out: “God save queen Kerry! (And God hep the rest of us).”

Archbishop Ant N Dec: “Madam, is Your Majesty willing to take the Oath?”

Queen Kerry: “Hurry up before I crap meself.”

Archbishop Ant N Dec: “Will you solemnly promise and swear to govern the Peoples of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Bob’s Fat Burgers And Kebabs, the Union of South Africa, Pakistan and Spearmint Rhino, and of your Possessions and other Territories to any of them belonging or pertaining, according to their respective laws and customs?”

Queen: “I love me kids.”

Archbishop Ant N Dec: “Will you to your power cause Law and Justice, in Mercy, to be executed in all your judgements?”

Queen Kerry: “One of them’s called Molly…”

Archbishop Ant N Dec: “Will you to the utmost of your power maintain the Laws of God and the true profession of the Gospel according to Westlife?”

Queen Kerry: “I’m mad, me. Let’s get pissed.”

Finis.’

Posted: 10th, February 2004 | In: Celebrities | Comment