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90% of cannabis farmers can’t be bothered to steal electricity

CANNABIS farms are big news. Sadly, the stuff remains illegal even to ill people it could help. TV home makeover shows looking to stay relevant in a recession will not feature the Marijuana Mezzanine.

But weed is being grown in homes. And we should be worried. Former policeman Phil Butler says cannabis farmers are stealing around £200m worth of electricity across the UK every year.

The Association of Chief Police Officer says police uncover more than 21 cannabis farms every day. Since, 2010, the coppers have seized 1.1 million plants. They estimate the crops’ value at £207m. Maybe the stuff could be sold as medical marijuana and the money used to pay for the criminals’ court cases and incarceration? Or they could just burn it, or give it away.

The police figures tells us that at least 15,330 cannabis farms have been in the past two years. That means each farm, on average, holds about 72 plants. But some farms are much larger. In 2010, one farm uncovered in Essex housed 8,000 plants.

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Posted: 1st, May 2012 | In: Key Posts | Comment


Famous women with beards – the photos

FAMOUS women with beards. Because one day this will be fashionable:

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Featuring: Sarah Silverman Shakira, Kate Beckinsale, Tina O’Brien, Sasha Alexander, Lady Philippa Middleton, Sarah Dunn, Juliette Binoche, Penelope Cruz, Margarita Levieva, Mila Kunis,Michelle Rodriguez, Minka Kelly, Thandie Newton, Alicia Keys, Ashley Tisdale, Joss Stone, Amanda Peet, Ali Landry, Adriana Lima, Jessica Alba, Denise Richards, Nicole Scherzinger, Princess Beatrice, Alicia Silverstone, Angelina Jolie, Katy Perry, Emma Stone.

Spotter:Freakingnews

Posted: 1st, May 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment


Making Natalie Esack’s celebrity murder a bit more entertaining

NATALIE Esack was murdered in her Esack Hair & Beauty salon on the High Street in Ashford, Kent. Her estranged husband, Ivan Escak, has been arrested on suspicion of killing her. He used to be a policeman. Now he works, says the Daily Mail, as a “football agent”.

A neighbour arrives to say that he was always a wrong un, had shifty eyes and they knew something terrible was about to happen. No, not really. The unnamed source tells the Mail that Mr Esack is “outgoing” and has ambitions to become a local councillor, and together the Esacks were “pleasant”. A former collage of Mrs Esack’s says she was “bubbly”, and given the circumstances of her violent death, bizarrely adds: “You will not find a single person with a negative thing to say about her.”

Not one. Really?

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Posted: 1st, May 2012 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment (1)


The Untold Story of Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother – Her Maj conceived by artificial insemination

IT gives me great pleasure to bring to your attention the latest work of Lady Colin Campbell (‘Georgie’ to her friends) – The Untold Story of Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother.

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Posted: 30th, April 2012 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comments (4)


Katie Price and Leandro Penna – the accidental wedding ring cycle

THAT sound you hear is the popping of champagne corks in the offices of Katie Price’s divorce lawyers. Jordan is getting married! She’s engaged to Leandro Penna. It will be great marriage. It will be last for years and years and create a legend.

But we need to ask: is she sure? We recall that Katie and Leandro don’t speak the same language. Granted, Jawdin doesn’t speak the same language as most of us, but with Leandro the barrier is more acute.

As Leandro once told us (photos of him here):

“The connection we have is so intense. Like sometimes I’ll be sitting and moving my head from side to side and she will know I’m…”

Listening to Stevie Wonder?

“…looking for the remote control.”

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Posted: 30th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment


The night Mario Balotelli made a drink of his urine

MORE on Mario Balotelli, the unmarried Manchester City striker who allegedly shagged Chloe Evans. Having said Balotelli was crap in bed (maybe it was you, Chloe?), the kiss ‘n’ teller is reported telling the Sun about the “crazy lifestyle of soccer badboy Mario Balotelli”.

The soccer badboy is a talented 21-year-old finding his feet working and living in a foreign country. Balotelli has embraced the prevailing culture by shagging tabloid-friendly English birds and allowing his bathroom to be the venue for a Bonfire Night do. The fire brigade was called and Balotelli’s friends (because it was them – really it was) would to well to read the full firework code, especially the bit about returning to a smouldering toilet roll. But, still, for the Italian Catholic import to be celebrating the death of the Papist Gunpowder Plot is admirable.

Balotelli did say that Manchester “is not to my tastes”. But no great hurt in that. Most Manchester United fans who only ever see the city’s wide open green spaces and ordered seating on the telly agree. And he can always commute from London or Abu Dhabi.

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Posted: 30th, April 2012 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment


The best and worst juxtaposed newspaper headlines ever

THE best / worst juxtaposed images of the day might not be all accidental. Who would want to be the poor sod with the camera on the front page of The Sunshine Cost Daily’s front-page warning over paedophiles?  Is Santa Claus a “child porn kingpin”, as The Times of South Africa seems to be saying? Is the Journal Sentinel having at the late Ted Kennedy? Let’s take a look..? Those infamous Costa Concordia pages are here.

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Posted: 29th, April 2012 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment


Bullshit.com – How To Make Your Website Like The Daily Mail’s – a photo lesson

IN today’s extract from Bullshit.com – How To Making Your Website Like The Daily Mail’s, we turn back the clock to July 2009. Bettina Vetta is showcasing the Mail’s new editorial policy of finding photos of a celebrities riding high on the news cycle and making up a story around them. “Insert caption here”, if you please…

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Posted: 29th, April 2012 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment


Chloe Evans: My sex with Manchester City’s shaven raver Mario Balotelli (photos)

MANCHESTER City striker Mario Balotelli has had sex with Cheadle’s Chloe Evans. Well, so says Chloe Evans, a woman seemingly well placed to see what’s on top of her. Having heard of Balotelli’s sex with “Wayne Rooney hooker” Jenny Thompson, the Sun know hears Evans claim that she too has enabled the Italian footballer to cheat on his usual lover Raffaella Fico.

Allegations from “pretty” Chloe are:

Chloe: “Mario hates pubic hair and before I had ever slept with him he asked me, ‘Do you shave the hair of the p**** ?’ I just laughed and told him not to be so nosey.”

Ruddy curtain twitcher. Go on:

Chloe: “He always shaves all the hair off down below, I’ve never seen him with anything there over all the time I’ve known him.”

Mario loves a Brazilian. Read all about it!

Chloe: “He wasn’t a bad lover as such — let’s just say he liked to take a long time about things. He said sex helped him be better at football, that it improved his stamina. But I had to fake it in the bedroom. Every time.”

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Posted: 29th, April 2012 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment


Madeleine McCann and ME: The media experts muse on the missing child

MADELEINE McCann: A daily round-up of media mentions of the missing child, featuring Tony Parsons and Lorraine Kelly…

Tony Parsons (Daily Mirror): “Madeleine McCann and her parent’s love that will never die”

Seeing the picture of how Madeleine might look today brought home again the suffering of the McCanns, a mountain of ­unimaginable pain

Tony Parsons has written about Madeleine McCann before.

The human megaphone has wondered about where his child has gotten to; he has invited the Portuguese ambassador to “shut your stupid sardine-munching mouth”; he has seen Jesus; and he has seen a link between the missing child and the murders of Catherine and Ben Mullany on honeymoon in Antigua.

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Posted: 28th, April 2012 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann | Comment (1)


Vintage photos of the day – wake up with a Betty Page Spam-fed china Elvis tree

PHOTOS of the day is a vintage collection form yesteryear. Look out for Bilko; getting up with Spam; the wonderful Betty Page; a question: Should wives be spanked?; a China Elvis Christmas tree; the World War 2 anti-Nazi bra; Blighty magazine; and three survive UFO attack!…

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Posted: 28th, April 2012 | In: Key Posts, Photojournalism | Comment


Mary Beard: My kind of Roman and AA Gill’s wrong kind of Blonde

MARY Beard tweets: “@Madame_Arcati going to print out your blog and keep it for when I might be feeling low!”

This blog, about Sunday Times TV critic AA Gill calling Mary Beard too ugly for the telly:

I LEARN that a middle-aged man, who resembles a homophobe’s idea of what a homosexual man looks like, has been very rude about Prof Mary Beard – the writer and presenter of BBC2’s Meet The Romans. If you’ve given up on TV and have an interest in Roman antiquity then I strongly advise you to re-new your TV licence just to watch this series.

Ingeniously, Beard has discovered the voices of the Ancient Roman dead – not of the emperors or their spin doctors – but of the ordinary people: the butchers, the ex-slaves, the woman who loved wine, the shitters and the bathers, the parents of the boy brained by a falling roof tile, and so on. She channels their words to us from their stone memorials chiselled in Latin which lay about under other historians’ noses for two millennia; awaiting Mary Beard’s exquisite TV seances. These dead people were like us live people, desperate to be heard and remembered. Just like the TV critic with his funny matchstick legs, his ageing male model face, his dyslexia and other sob story details (a mother complex, for instance, and a love life I cannot repeat here).

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Posted: 28th, April 2012 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comments (56)


Human bomb invades Advantage HGV office in London: photos and videos

A HUMAN bomb – a man strapped up with gasoline cylinders – has invaded the offices at Advantage, a company which offers HGV courses, on London’s Tottenham Court Road.

According to Abby Baafi, 27, the head of training and operations, the man stormed into the offices. She says that she told the suspect she was three months pregnant to escape.

Stories are that the man has chucked computers and other objects from the fifth floor of Shropshire House.

The police are enacting the Three C:  Confirm. Coordinate. Converse.

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Posted: 27th, April 2012 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (7)


When Alex Reid became an Parliamentary expert – like Elmo and Russell Brand

POLITICIANS are in it to meet stars, aren’t they. Gordon Brown and Tony Blair were starfuckers; David Cameron can’t speak without making reference to a TV advert (“Calm down dear”) or a TV show – at PMQs he extolled the country’s enterprise spirit with the phrase “The Only Way Is Essex”; oleaginous Keith Vaz can’t talk about drugs without a celeb on his shoulder, looking like a provincial chip-shop owner posing for his toilet gallery with celebrity diners Mitch Winehouse and guffawing Russell Brand; and no jobbing MP can talk about food without Jamie Oliver and now Alex Reid, the naked walking Toffee Crisp who once married Katie Price and wore a gold mankini to flog her books.

Alex Reid has now met with MPs at the Commons three times.

September 6, 2011: Reid meets MP Daniel Poulter to launch the Better Breakfast campaign.

February 8, 2012: Reid meets MP Sharon Hodgson, Shadow Minister for Children and Families, and MP Roberta Blackman-Woods, Shadow Minister for Planning at the House of Commons. (Pictured)

April 26, 2012: Reid heads to Parliament to meet Shadow Education Minister Sharon Hodgson to talk about Let’s Do Lunch, an eating campaign.

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Posted: 27th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment


Do these Kaley Cuoco bikini photos feature Amy Winehouse?

MOST eyes on Kaley Cuoco, actress and star of the Big Bang Theory on the TV. She’s been on holiday to the Carribean island of Anguilla. Nice. She’s taken photos of her good self in her bikini and posted them on twitter. Thoughtful. You can see them below. But what we want to know is the identity of the woman to her side. Is it..? Can it be..? Is Amy Winehouse alive? Let the conspiracy begins (and get her a duet with Tupak Shakur.)

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Posted: 27th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment


Madeleine McCann: Stupid Portuguese police ignore ‘evidence’ and hurt Kate and Gerry (say tabloids)

MADELEINE McCann: Almost five years on and Our Maddie is still on the front pages. As ever, there is no news. There are no new facts. We are just watching the missing child’s parents and attacking funny foreigners, in this instance the Portuguese police.

The Sun (front page): “MADDIE COOP SNUB”

The missing child leads the Sun’s editorial of the world’s most important news moments. (What – no Rupert Murdoch, Leveson and all that hacking?)

Maddie insult

ARROGANCE is piled on incompetence as Portuguese police snub pleas to reopen the Madeleine McCann inquiry. They say they will act only on “credible and relevant” new facts.

But the Met Police haven’t found any new facts. So how is it a snub?

Scotland Yard officers have established no fewer than 195 fresh lines of inquiry and say Madeleine may still be alive.

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Posted: 27th, April 2012 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann | Comments (3)


What was up with that “racist cake”?

 IS Sweden’s international image as a country dedicated to tolerance and egalitarianism a mirage? Is the Scandinavian nation, in reality, a deeply bigoted place where dark-skinned people are routinely discriminated against, and where racism is seen as a bit of a laugh? Following the fiasco known as ‘cakegate’ – involving a ‘blackface’, a cake shaped as an African tribeswoman and a philistine cultural minister – some would have you believe so.

In case you haven’t already seen the shocking images from Stockholm’s Museum of Modern Art where the notorious ‘racist cake’ incident happened, here’s a re-cap: The museum was celebrating World Art Day and the seventy-fifth anniversary of the Swedish Artists’ National Organisation. A bunch of artists had been asked to create cakes for the event and the minister of culture, Lena Adelsohn Liljeroth, was invited to open the proceedings by cutting one of them. It was designed by a Swede of African descent who said he wanted to draw attention to the practice of female genital mutilation.

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Posted: 26th, April 2012 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (3)


Madeleine McCann: distorting the facts with Detective Chief Inspector Andy Redwood

MADELEINE McCANN: She is alive. Fact. Well sort of. The Metropolitan Police have issued a photo of Madeleine McCann at age 9. Only, it’s not an actual photo. It’s a guesstimate likeness created by an artist. The Met either have no idea what happen to Madeleine McCann, or have an idea but want to use the upcoming fifth anniversary of her disappearance to support their endeavours at solving the mystery.

Also, tonight BBC  will broadcast Panorama – Madeleine: The Last Hope?. Catch it tonight at t 7.30pm on BBC One.

The tabloid press all lead with this picture of Our Maddie:

The Sun (front page): “Maddie age 9 – Image show her now”

Fact!. This is her now.

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Posted: 26th, April 2012 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann | Comments (2)


Why Claire Squires did it – London Marathon athlete was running for herself

THE self-serving tabloid drive to own Claire Squires, the woman who died during the London Marathon, can now be put to bed. Claire Squires’ sister Maxine Holmes says the runner was not making a “sacrifice” (Daily Mirror), looking to create a “legacy of love” (Daily Mail) nor to “make it a million” and make us proud (The Sun). Was she “inspirational“, as this site says?

Claire Squire was… Well, no need to guess and speculate and read her mind. Let’s hear from her sister, someone who actually knew her:

 “She was running it for herself as she had won a place to compete in the ballot. Then she decided at the last moment, just 10 days before it, to get sponsorship and urged people to help. That is typical Claire, she wanted to do something to help others.”

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Posted: 25th, April 2012 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment


Kim Kardashian holds hands with Kanye West for publicity

WHEN Kim Kardashian dumped Kris Humphries after 72 days of marriage, everyone howled that she was taking the sanctity of marriage and stuffing it down a promotion hole. It was cold, calculated and manipulative on a level that was so starkly bare, that the collective we couldn’t quite believe it.

However, Kim K denied it all, shrugging it all off as ‘one of those things’. It didn’t work out. It was true-love but maybe they rushed into things. She’d learned her lesson.

That is, until she courted our interest in boring amour with Kanye West. They’re helping the rumour that they’re dating each other along very nicely and reaping all that lovely publicity that comes with it. They’ve been spotted out and about together, acting like a couple and, most crucially, they’ve been seen holding hands… which as you know, is a euphemism for having filthy sex with each other.

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Posted: 25th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment


Gifs of the week: Otter rat feels the Force

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Posted: 25th, April 2012 | In: Gifs, Key Posts | Comment


Bad business names – Poo-Ping Palace and The Glory Hole prayer shop

BAD business names is  gallery of, well, bad business names. Would you eat at Virgin TandooriPoo-Ping Palace or Fouk Yue? Would you buy your threads at titty or the Raper shop? Do you get your drinks at STD? Fo you pray at The Glory Hole?…

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Posted: 25th, April 2012 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment


The cynical manipulation of Claire Squires death

CLAIRE Squires died at the London Marathon. She was running to achieve a personal goal and to raise money for The Samaritans, a group her mother has helped for 24 years. Money is pouring in to Claire Squires’ Just Giving page on the internet, and the tabloids want a slice of the action.

Following yesterday’s Daily Mail report which gave readers an insight into what Squires was thinking and her motives for running – andno, it never spoke with her – the Sun leads with ” Tragic Claire: Make it £1m.”

Claire Squires name and story seems to be raising money pretty well without the Sun’s patronage. Undoubtedly media reports on her death have triggered people to pledge cash. At the time of writing £592,559.08 has been raised from 52,103 donations.

But the Sun is here to co-brand Claire Squires, just as it did with Madeleine McCanns (albeit in the guise of its dead alter ego The News of the World) and Jo Yeates, slapping up reward and wanted posters for each woman with its company logo high and handsome over their heads.

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Posted: 25th, April 2012 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (4)


Chelsea beat Barcelona in photos – and Geoff Shreeves kills Ivanovic

CHELSEA are through to the final of the Champions League after a thrilling match against Barcelona. Before the best photos from the match, a word to Geoff Shreeves, the Sky Sports reporter who thought it his place to break the news to Branislav Ivanovic that he’s suspended for the final. Classy. Kick a man when he’s up, Geoff. It’s what John Terry would have wanted…. (Video is here.)

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Posted: 24th, April 2012 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment


Claire Squires death at the London Marathon becomes a spectator sport

NO little shock at Claire Squires’ death at the London Marathon. The 30-year-old from North Kilworth, Leicestershire died on Birdcage Walk, not far from the finishing line. Her death is the tenth since the London Marathon began in 1981.

It is not yet know why she died.

Claire Squires is on the front pages of the Daily Express, Daily Mail, Guardian, Daily Telegraph and The Times.

Claire Squires was running for The Samaritans. Her mother Cilla has been involved with The Samaritans for 24 years.

So. Mrs Squires was a volunteer for the Samaritans well before her son died – Claire Squires’ older brother Grant took heroin and anti-depressants before he died aged 25 in 2001; a fact repeated in all newspapers. Yet, the Mail make the link and says Ms Squires’ run was a “legacy of love”.

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Posted: 24th, April 2012 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment (1)