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Money | Anorak - Part 67

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Money in the news and how you are going to pay and pay and pay

Anorak Beats Old Media, Again

The thieving plonkers!

We’re back to those default swaps again, and the reason why they have nothing to do with insurance and everything to do with speculating on other people’s property; Simon Evans in the Independent reports today, the 12th October:

‘It is like Joe Public buying an insurance policy on someone else’s house and pocketing the full value if it burns down.’

Ring any bells?

On the 25th September I wrote:

‘Anorak could take out a vast insurance policy on Anorak Towers, and if it burned down Anorak would get lots of dosh but no Anorak Towers.

Insurers won’t let me take out a vast insurance policy on Anorak Towers, because I would have a clear interest in setting fire to Anorak Towers and collecting lots of dosh.

Of course, I wouldn’t have Anorak Towers, but then I didn’t have Anorak Towers in the first place.’

My highly reputable lawyers, Messrs Sue, Sue and Suesomemore, will no doubt be in touch with the Indie’s briefs…

Chenier

Posted: 12th, October 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Money | Comments (4)


Credit Crunch: Too Poor To Die

CREDIT Crunch news of the day: eat the dead…

“BODIES OF THE DEAD NOT BEING BURIED” – Daily Mail

Some are being burnt. Other are being buried at sea. Leglstive bodies walk zombie-like into the night…

Posted: 12th, October 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids | Comment


It’s Those Damn Atheists Again

JEFFREY Frankel announced a few months back:

“They say there are no atheists in foxholes. Then there are also no libertarians in financial crises.”

Much as it pains me to have to agree with an economist, he does seem to have got that bit right.

Although there is a notable exception to the Frankel’s Rule.

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Posted: 12th, October 2008 | In: Money | Comment


Goldman Sachs: Not The Sultans Of Spin

WELL, Goldman managed to survive this week, just about, but we have to question whether Lucas van Praag, Goldman’s global head of media relations and a partner at the firm, is doing very well.

Ok, he is firing off letters to all and sundry, and particularly the sundry at Forbes whose article by ‘Dr Doom’, otherwise known as Nouriel Roubini, was less than wholly supportive of the view that Goldman Sach’s is the best of all possible banks in the best of all possible worlds, but that’s office boy stuff.

The New York Times reported last night that Jon Winkelried, Goldman Sachs’s co-president and co-chief operating officer, is trying to sell two lots on Nantucket for $55 million.

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Posted: 12th, October 2008 | In: Money | Comment


IMF Orders The Markets Down By 20%

REUTERS is reporting that the IMF’s chief economist Olivier Blanchard has said:

“In a worst-case scenario, governments will need a few more weeks to take the correct measures and the markets could fall another 20 percent. Then, we’ll turn around,”

(Image: Beau Bo D’Or Website)

Just when you think that the IMF couldn’t get worse, they come up with an act of such utter imbecility that I am almost at a loss for words.

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Posted: 11th, October 2008 | In: Money | Comments (18)


Guardian Follows Daily Express And Tips IceSave

ICESAVE is dead. Britain is at war with Iceland. And the Guardain is scoring points on the Express, its pet target:

GUARDIAN – Hugh Muir:

“If you are lucky enough to have some spare money, now could be the time to cash in,” said the ever-informative Daily Express, addressing the credit crunch yesterday. “Icelandic bank Icesave pays 7.06% on £1,000 or more on its one-year bond.” Yeah, right – October 8, 2008

GUARDIAN:

Ten of the best … savings accounts
An unexpected bonus from the financial crisis is banks raising their savings rates to attract customer cash. Harvey Jones picks a selection of the best buys on offer

Hear ye, hear ye… Any idea what’s No.1?

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Posted: 11th, October 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Money, Tabloids | Comment (1)


Gabby Logan Applauds The Credit Crunch

CREDIT Crunch news of the day: Gabby Logan on the joys of poverty

“But I believe that the credit squeeze is going to be good for grassroots sport and therefore good for all of us in the long run – as long as we do not end up homeless” – Gabby Logan, The Times

So Gabby…:

Aside from a property, what’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever bought?

Paintings – the most I’ve spent on one was £7,000.

More credit crunch insight as it comes in…

Posted: 10th, October 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Money | Comments (5)


Armageddon On Hold As Blue Collars Take Over

ARMAGEDDON is on hold.

The four horsemen of the apocalypse (Short Sellers; Bradford, Bingley, Daryl Lehman) are staved off with the promise of cash. It’s a bribe, and – who knew? – but the forces of man’s destruction are open to cash offers.

Still, the Times asks its readers: “Is this the safest place to put your money?” There picture is of a man pushing a large box cardboard out of book shop. The box is on trolley. The man is in shirt and Comfi-Slax.

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Posted: 9th, October 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Money, Tabloids | Comments (5)


Liverpool Teaches Rest Of UK How To Dodge Paying Rent

TO Liverpool, where signs advertising “rent dodger lives here” are going up outside homes.

Neil Heffey, of estate agent Sutton Estates, based in Anfield, tells the Liverpool Daily Post:

“They can avoid us, but not their neighbours. Now, every time they walk in and out of their door, the neighbours will be laughing at them.”

Has Mr Heffey not read the tabloid press? This is Liverpool, and the neighbours will indeed be laughing as they pop over the road and while perusing catalogues for shell suits and eating baked bean sarnies bone up on rent dodging.

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Posted: 8th, October 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids | Comments (2)


Not The Group Of Seven Dwarves

THE guys from the Group of Seven are due to have a little chat and a nice lunch in Washington on Friday, for the annual IMF and World Bank meetings, but it looks as if Robert Zoellick, President of the World Bank, isn’t happy with them; he says they need to expand to include places like Brazil and China.

Unfortunately for Zoellick, the chances of anyone listening to a word he says are close to zero, since the World Bank and the IMF have lost that most valuable of assets, credibility.

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Posted: 8th, October 2008 | In: Money | Comments (3)


Tabloid Bingo As The Money Markets Fall

THOSE stock market figures in full:

DAILY STAR: “£60bn wiped off British stock market.”

THE SUN: “£93BN MELTDOWN”

DAILY MAIL: “By the end of trading, nearly £95billion had been wiped off he value of the FTSE”

And rising…

Posted: 7th, October 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids | Comments (3)


Gordon Brown’s Solid Gold Joke

MORE news on serious Gordon Brown.

Gordon’ at Lancaster House. It’s a drinks reception, with nibbles, to congratulate and paw over Britain’s Olympic gold medal winners. Says Gordon:

“There is more gold in this room than in the Bank of England.”

Ho-ho. No, he’s right. It’s not funny. Brown only does serious. There is more gold around an Olympian’s neck than in the BoE. Why? Because Gordon Brown sold the nation’s gold reserves.

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Posted: 7th, October 2008 | In: Money, Politicians | Comment (1)


Bruce Springsteen Loses House In Credit Crunch

BRUCE Springsteen has lost his house in the credit crunch:

Mr. Springsteen likened the country to a house that needs rebuilding: “I don’t know about you, but I want my house back…” – NY Times

The Boss is on the streets…

Posted: 6th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, Money | Comment


Football Manager Owes Billions In Tax

MONEY madness in the Daily Mirror:

“THREE TV stars and a football club manager are at the centre of £1billion tax-dodging investigation”

They just aren’t paid enough

Posted: 6th, October 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids | Comment


Google Adwords Victim Begs For Money

Google Adwords Victim Begs For Money…

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Posted: 5th, October 2008 | In: Money, Photojournalism | Comment (1)


Those Credit Crunch Discounts In Full

CREDIT Crunch biting? No fear. Shop around for discounts…

Posted: 4th, October 2008 | In: Money, Politicians | Comments (2)


Survivalist Blogger Does Not Survive

“M.D Creekmore” had been running Survivalist Blog. He used it to warn Americans to prepare for a repeat of the Great Depression and Zimbabwean-style hyperinflation.

He worked out of a from a 26ft caravan parked on a strip of wasteland.

The site details how he forages for food in the surrounding countryside, enjoys light from a home-made solar generator converted from an old lawn mower and supplements his income by doing odd jobs.

But despite carrying advertisements to help cover the running costs, he has now lost his internet connection after funds dried up.

Those damn Yankees:

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Posted: 2nd, October 2008 | In: Money | Comment (1)


It Was The Sun Wot Done The Economy

A RUN on UK banks in the Sun:

“FEARS rose last night that millions of pounds could be sucked out of the UK as Brits switch their savings to Irish banks to dodge the financial crisis” – Sun

“But there are still safe places to go. The Post Office, for example, offers several savings accounts run by Bank of Ireland” – Ian King, Sun Business editor

Fear is what Tabloids do best…

Posted: 2nd, October 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids | Comments (4)


That US Bank Rescue Plan In Full: Plan B

PLAN A failed. But US politicos will try again to agree on which of the Republican or Democrats are to blame more for the crisis, and which party is more reliant on rich supporters. Anorak has received news of Plan B:

Banker Aide: Britain Invests In Keeping China Sweet

Red Tuesday: Banks Fall, The Experts’ Top Tips And Spending Is The New Saving

Posted: 2nd, October 2008 | In: Money, Photojournalism | Comment (1)


Allison Pearson: The Sword, The Money Or The Poison Pen

ALLISON Pearson, of the Daily Mail, is still talking about those City “spivs” and how they are, well, just so worthless:

Throughout the boom years, the bankers justified their stellar incomes by saying they were working heroic hours to help bring greater prosperity to us all. Oh, really? Try telling that to a soldier who has spent 180 days dodging mortars in Helmand and dreamt of nothing more than enjoying a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken in front of the TV with the family he adores.

Most bankers never have to justify their incomes, wages being a matter of market rates. And do not soldiers dream of owning islands, flying first class and watching their football team play on a massive plasma screen? Do bankers eat KFC?

Still:

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Posted: 1st, October 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids | Comments (3)


Banker Aide: Britain Invests In Keeping China Sweet

BRITAIN gave China £38.6million in aid last year,” says the Sun. And that will stop, should the Tories get into power.

Says shadow international development secretary Andrew Mitchell, a man who proves that the longer the title the more insignificant the job:

“Many British taxpayers would be astonished to learn that we are still giving aid to China.”

The Sun says China is so rich it can spend more than £20bn on the Olympics and put a man in space.

Readers may care to recall that when landed, the Chinese astronauts were sat on Argos garden furniture and carried off by saluting removal men. It was more as the Victorians had landed in Guinea than evidence bleeding edge of technology and the future of mankind.

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Posted: 1st, October 2008 | In: Money, Politicians, Tabloids | Comment (1)


Lottery Winner Buys UK Bank

IANTHE Fullager stuffed her winning lottery ticket down her bra. She is “BOOM AND BUST” (Sun), and being wooed by the banking sector.

Fullager of Fullager & Bingley Brothers now has more money than the entire banking sector combined, and as such a commands the Sun’s front page.

“I wanted to keep my ticket where I thought no-one would look for it,” says the 18-year-old, who may need to reconsider her hiding places give her new levels of attractiveness.

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Posted: 1st, October 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids | Comments (13)


Lehman Bank Employees Block Entrance To Bank’s Headquarters

RETRENCHED Lehman Bank employees staged a protest by blockading the entrance to the Bank’s Headquarters…


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Posted: 1st, October 2008 | In: Money, Photojournalism | Comments (12)


March Madness: The Credit Crunch In A Graph

IT’S the “March Madness” style bracket of the current financial meltdown.

It was reportedly created by a general partner at Sansome Partners named Mark Slavonia, says TC.

Via

Posted: 1st, October 2008 | In: Money, Photojournalism | Comment


The Good Banker Frank McGarahan Has Died

LET’S see what the idiots make of this:

Frank McGarahan, 45, the chief operating officer of Barclays Wealth, which manages the money of some of the world’s richest people, was waiting for a taxi when he saw someone being assaulted.

So says the Telegraph. Is his wealth relevant?

He went to intervene and ended up being badly beaten beside the Guildhall Hill taxi rank in Norwich, Norfolk.

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Posted: 1st, October 2008 | In: Money | Comment