Money Category
Money in the news and how you are going to pay and pay and pay
Dr Who Fans In Knitting Row
THE BBC makes money from Dr Who. The BBC is paid for by us. So where’s our money? And do we all own Dr Who?
A Doctor Who fan is embroiled in a row with the BBC after she published knitting patterns for the sci-fi drama’s monsters on the internet.
The patterns of Ood and Adipose were removed from her website after the BBC’s commercial arm complained that they breached its copyright.
But the woman said the corporation was “making an example of her”.
A BBC Worldwide spokesman said it was not “heavy-handed” with “genuine fans of the show”, but that it had to act in the interest of licence-fee payers.
“If you don’t protect your trademark, it’s taken away from you. And Doctor Who is massive for the BBC. It’s up to us to earn money from it so we can re-invest it in the BBC,” he said.
Don’t reinvest – redistribute…
Posted: 14th, May 2008 | In: Money, TV & Radio | Comment
There’s A Hole In My Budget
ALISTAIR Darling has a hole in his Budget – music video:
Posted: 14th, May 2008 | In: Money, Politicians | Comments (2)
The Daily Express: The Holistic Newspaper
AS ever the Daily Express presents a holistic approach to the day’s news, the actual stories and facts being less then the whole effect.
The masthead delivers the fact that the Express costs 40p, which may be showing off. Express readers may care to furl their newspaper in such a manner that the label shows uppermost, so giving readers of cheaper newspapers a glimpse of luxury.
But still the Express must concede that the Mail is 10p cheaper, making it reassuringly expensive. However, the Mail remains “ten times” worse than the Express, thus making it look all the more desirable to fashionable newspaper readers.
Good on the Express not to let petty rivalries stand in the way of true reporting.
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Penthouse Goes To Church
WHILE Playboy tanks, Penthouse loosk up. The magazine’s spokeswoman Martha Lindeman says: “Traditional print is a heritage business for us, and an important part of the brand. But realistically it’s not a business that we see growing.”
Operating well under the media radar compared with other social-networking companies like Facebook and MySpace, Various, headquartered in Palo Alto, Calif., has a deceptively broad and profitable reach. Its subsidiaries now include a number of online dating sites—from BigChurch.com to Bondage.com—that have signed up a combined 250 million members since they were founded and 1.2 million current subscribers who pay for content. Its biggest, AdultFriendFinder.com—which bills itself as “the world’s largest adult sex and swingers site”—is one of the most highly trafficked Web sites in the world with more than 18 million members, the company says. Bell says in the coming months Penthouse Media Group will be renamed FriendFinder Networks, Inc., and he plans to take the company public by the end of the year. The Penthouse brand will be a well-known but admittedly smaller arm of the company. […]
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Posted: 12th, May 2008 | In: Money | Comments (3)
Madonna Gets In Bed With Ticket Touts
IS Madonna’s hopping into bed with ticket touts an exercise in greed or research for Guy Ritchie’s next Mockney geyser flick?
The Wall Street Journal reports that Madonna’s upcoming concert tour is to feature an official ticket tout.
You know how it works: the touts buy up the tickets leaving the fans to scratch around for what they can get.
Dial the official ticket line and get tapped for a “booking fee” when you pay by one of those new fangled credit car, or buy online and on the point of sale find the site freezes like Anthea Turner at an orgy.
The deal means Madonna is tied up to StubHub, owned by eBay, via which ticket holders can “resell” (tout) tickets.
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Posted: 10th, May 2008 | In: Celebrities, Money | Comments (8)
Oil: US Drivers Go Slow, Venezuela Reserves Grow And SUV Market Falls
THE International Monetary Fund says “inflation concerns have resurfaced after years of quiescence”.
Why? Because food and energy is getting more expensive, that’s why.
Just look at the crude oil market shoot for the stars. The price of crude has reached a record of almost $124 a barrel – that’s a rise of 99 per cent in the past 12 months.
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Posted: 9th, May 2008 | In: Money | Comment (1)
Put Your Money In Violins
MONEY: “The Fine Violins Fund, which counts cellist Julian Lloyd Webber among its directors, has so far raised €16m (£12.5m) towards what it hopes will be a €60m syndicate investing in the most precious pre-19th-century violins, mainly from Italy.”
Why not just buy them all?
Posted: 7th, May 2008 | In: Money | Comment (1)
Indonesia’s Oil Problem
OIL is shooting up faster than Pete Doherty in a jet. But:
“Indonesian President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono said yesterday that Indonesia was considering quitting OPEC because it is no longer a net oil exporter….The country is Southeast Asia’s only OPEC member. But it has to import oil because of decades of declining investment in exploration and extraction because of corruption and a weak legal system that makes oil companies wary of doing business there”. Source
Meanwhile, “Oil set a new record high of $122 a barrel on Tuesday, the latest spurt in an advance that has seen prices double over the past 12 months“. Source
Posted: 7th, May 2008 | In: Money | Comment (1)
Why Dad’s Kill Their Own Children
“WHAT’S driving so many dads to kill the own children?” asks Allison Pearson on the Mail’s front page.
Below Allison’s smiling face, in “WE’VE LESS TO SPEND THAN FOR 17 YEARS”, readers learn: “Devastating price rises mean families have less to spend on themselves than at any time for 17 years.”
What to do…? What to do..?
Posted: 7th, May 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids | Comments (8)
Hedging The Dollar On Crude Oil
US light sweet crude rose to a record of $120.36 a barrel in New York yesterday.
It then fell back (surely, swooned – Ed) to a record close of $119.97 – up $3.65.
Anyone who thinks it will end there can take the sell.
The rest of you worried about rising energy costs, rising fuels costs and why filling your lighter costs more than a pack of fags used to in 1950, can take the buy and try to earn enough to buy, well, oil.
You think oil is a stable market?
“Nigeria is the lingering hotspot the markets will be focusing on,” says MF Global analyst Ed Meir. Reports are that “rebels” have attacked oil wells and pipelines which lead export terminals.
Nigeria produces a lot of oil. If this oil cannot get to market, then there is less oil in the marketplace and those who have oil find that it is in greater demand and so worth more. Oil goes up in price.
And over in the exotic regions of Northern Iraq, the Turkish military is fighting the Kurdish insurgents.
Oil is a stable market? On the markets, 63.4 per cent of you are backing more rises.
But it’s not all about violence. There’s the US currency.
Says Damian Cox, of John Hall Associates, to the BBC: “Since about August, commodities appear to have been responding to movements in the currency markets. As the dollar has weakened, some people have moved into commodities.”
So oil is being used to hedge against the weak dollar. Which means that if the dollar begins to strengthen then oil will weaken. Right?
But if people see oil as strong they will be less likely to out their money in the US and so the dollar remains weak. Discuss.
At the time of writing, one pound equals $1.97229. That’s a little down from the 52-week high of $2.11610 but up on the 520-week low of $1.93340.
Most punters on Tradefair think the dollar will weaken against sterling.
British holidaymakers looking for alternatives to the costly euro may well agree…
The Poker Toonie Scam
WHAT does a poker chip look like to you?
It’s not a trick question, and, no, there’s no GSCE in Chipology for answers of between 200-300 words. Discuss.
It’s just that the Poker Anorak has just spotted a 20-year-old Canadian visiting her local bank.
In her hand she holds a roll of chips.
We should note that in Canada there exists the two-dollar coin, the Twonie.
The name is a cunning blend of the number “two” with the name of the Loonie, Canada’s one-dollar coin.
We should not mock. In the UK, the two pound coin has yet to earn a nickname.
Suggestions on a postcard as to what it should be called.
Back to the woman in the bank. She hands the teller the coins and makes off with the equivalent in cash, about $100.
Clever stuff.
Only she then tries the same trick again in the same bank and is collared.
Who has not be so defrauded by chips or tokens? Is there any gambler who has not sifted through their fruit machine winnings and found a Kenyan Schilling, a washer or a homemade piece of metal?
We can recall those halcyon days of 50pence parking meters, which could – we are told, yer honour – be triggered by wrapping a bent matchstick around a 10pence piece.
The question is not so much one of honesty but if poker chips have any intrinsic value, other than the number the casino has ascribed them.
What is a chip worth, and can a chip ever be worth as much as money?
Discuss.
Posted: 6th, May 2008 | In: Money | Comment (1)
Hot Air: Richard Littlejohn V Polly Tonybee
RICHARD Littlejohn versue “pet” Polly Tonybee on the BBC.
Is there a third way?
Posted: 5th, May 2008 | In: Money, Politicians, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comments (11)
Tony Blair Buys New Labour Theme Park
TONY and Cherie Blair have purchased the former home of the late actor Sir John Gielgud.
The South Pavilion in Wotton Underwood, Buckinghamshire, is the Blairs’ sixth residence.
A Mr Mark Rimell, a director of country house sales for Strutt and Parker, which marketed the property after Sir John’s death there in May 2000, tells the Mail on Sunday:
“When I first viewed the property, Sir John Gielgud’s Oscar was still sitting on the windowsill in the bathroom.
“The house even had its own stage, but overall it was looking somewhat tired.”
It’s a fitting sixth home for the Blairs, especially since Mr Rimmell says the home suffers from a lack of privacy: “You can be standing in one of the public rooms of Wotton House and get a clear view of the whole garden and some of the interior of South Pavilion.”
What good a pile if the plebs can’t see the common man of the people standing in it? It’s what socialism is all about.
But what will the Blairs do with the house when they’re not in residence? Will it pay for itself?
The smart money is on Blair Towers, the New Labour theme park with:
John Prescott Croquet Lawn
John Prescott Merry Go Round – drive a peddle-powered jag around a desk and see if you can catch woman dressed as a leather KitKat
Cherie Blair Supermarket Sweep & Grabber
Jo Moore’s Burial Mound – a roller-coaster ride shaped like the Twin Towers…
* Gain free entry into the Blair holiday village by being Cliff Richard.
And many more…
Posted: 4th, May 2008 | In: Money, Politicians, Tabloids | Comments (13)
Man Arrested For $360 Billion Cheque Fraud
CHARLES Ray Fuller, 21, of Crowley, Texas, walks into the Chase bank in the 8600 block of South Hulen Street, Fort Worth.
It is about 4pm.
He has in his possession a personal check. The check is not made out to Mr. Fuller. The bank clerk is unsure.
She contacts the check owner, the mother of Fuller’s girlfriend mother.
She says she did not write a check for… $360 billion.
That’s $360,000,000,000.00.
Police are called.
Mr. Fuller is accused of unlawful carrying of a weapon and possession of marijuana.
Mr Fuller tells the police his girlfriend’s mother gave him the money to start a record label.
Mr Fuller has a record…
Posted: 1st, May 2008 | In: Money, Strange But True | Comments (7)
You Know It’s A Recession: Starbucks Slumps
BRING back the greasy spoon:
Starbucks, faced with a sharp drop-off in customers, reported on Wednesday that earnings declined 21 percent during the second quarter.
Starbucks reported that net income declined to $108.7 million, or 15 cents a share, from $150.8 million, or 19 cents a share, in the year-ago quarter. The company said revenue rose 12 percent, to $2.5 billion.
The report came just a week after Starbucks, the world’s largest coffee chain, warned of lower-than-expected earnings and cut its full-year forecast, citing a decline in quarterly sales and describing the economic environment as the weakest in the company’s history. Wall Street analysts had forecast 19 cents a share for the quarter.
And shit coffee. Don’t forget the shit watery coffee…
Posted: 1st, May 2008 | In: Money | Comment (1)
How To Avoid Soaring Fuel Prices
“SOARING PRICE OF FUEL HITS HOLIDAYS,” announces the Express on its cover.
Fuel is now so pricey that it is cheaper to stay at home, albeit with the heating switched off and your lounge given over to arable farming.
The alternative is to book a trip on a budget airline and hope that it behaves like one of the “several” airlines of its type that have gone bust, including three in the US.
With any luck you’ll be stranded in hotter climes, and so reduce your heating and petrol bills and qualify for a rebate on your council tax…
That Office Of Government Commerce Logo Uncensored
SAYS a spokesman for OGC: “It is true that it caused a few titters among some staff when viewed on its side, but on consideration we concluded that the effect was generic to the particular combination of the letters OGC – and it is not inappropriate to an organisation that’s looking to have a firm grip on Government spend.”
Brand expert Michael Hamilton tells the Telegraph: “They’re going to get more column inches than they could ever have expected before. If I were them, I would be pretty pleased.”
Fnar…
Posted: 24th, April 2008 | In: Money, Photojournalism, Politicians | Comment (1)
Loving The New McDonald’s Uniform
HAS anyone notified Ann Summers, purveyors of marital aides, inflatable training sheep and other novelties, that McDonald’s has a new uniform out?
The Mirror has a picture of the outfits and their designer Bruce Oldfield.
The paper says that Oldfield has “dressed Princess Diana, Catherine Zeta Jones and Jerry Hall”, and who cannot imagine any of those stars decked out in smart McDonald’s grey and beige?
Indeed, with the right latex model, wig and Little Mac Outfit, meat sandwich enthusiasts can create your own McDonald’s tableau, with Diana on chips, Hall on apple pies and Zeta Jones on pickles…
Posted: 23rd, April 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids | Comments (2)
Alex Singleton On Wealth
SAYS ALEX Singleton:
It is not the level of wealth that makes us happy. Instead, it is the process of betterment – the pursuit of it – that makes us happy. Whether we are twice as rich today as in 1971 has little bearing on our happiness, because it is in the past. Whether people can see their lives improving in the future is what counts. That is why economic growth remains a key component in happiness, despite what the happiness researchers might tell us.
Posted: 16th, April 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Money | Comments (2)
E-Government In Your Car
DIZZY nots that DirectGov have launched a aservice that allows you to watch Government campaigns videos on your mobile:
Text ‘VIDEO’ to 64746 to download and share Directgov videos on your mobile. Standard network rates apply
Apparently you will be able to get videos such as “DVLA – Car Tax Evasion Campaign”. Honestly, I’m deadly serious.
Now tell me this. What sort of person is going to pay to text the Government and then pay network rates on top to watch a video telling them that is naughty to evade paying road tax?
Posted: 10th, April 2008 | In: Money, Politicians | Comment
Woman Uses Home Loan To Hire Assassin
“RATE cut demand as property prices slide,” says the Times’ front-page warning.
Little need to refurbish that rundown two-bed flat to sell or rent, especially now that everyone’s got one. But what else to do with the DIY money?
Says the Mail’s headline: “Woman took out £4,500 home improvement loan to pay for a hitman to kill husband.”
In Assassination, Assassination, Assassination, Phil and Kirsty catch up with Zoe Kenealy, who is looking at ways to spend the cash she was loaned by a finance firm to install a new bathroom.
The money instead went to her lover Lee Waite – who lived next door with his wife Marie (more on his home later). Mr Waite may well be a dab hand at grouting, but the money was to arrange her husband Timothy’s murder for £10,000.
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Posted: 9th, April 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids | Comment (1)
British Economy Goes Ka-Boom And Bust
BORROWING is up. Unsecured personal borrowing – mainly personal loans and overdrafts – rose by £2.4billion in February.
That’s the biggest monthly rise in five years.
And there’s more. Just this month, there are planned rises in water bills, the TV licence, council tax (up by 4 per cent from April 1) and road tax.
Where do homeowners get the money from to meet these bills and satisfy mortgage demands? Answer: from expensive unsecured debt. And by cashing in their savings, such as the Individual savings account, and reducing pension contributions.
You can borrow secured debt if the bank will take on new business. But the bank’s business is funded by borrowing, and the cheap money is all gone. So, sorry no can do.
Indeed, lenders are vying to see which can offer the worst rates and attract no new customers. HSBC’s First Direct bank has stopped offering mortgages at all. That’s not really playing fair and surely a token rate of 8 or 9 per cent would have made First Direct look like they were at least trying.
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Posted: 4th, April 2008 | In: Money | Comments (4)
MPs Wants Rise In The House Market
“NEGATIVE EQUITY THREAT TO 3M HOMES,” says the Mail’s front-page headline.
Says the Mirror: “A mortgage famine is on the cards as more banks follow First Direct’s decision to slam the door on new borrowers. Experts fear we could be heading back to the bad old days of mortgage rationing as the worldwide credit crunch tightens.”
Says the Expres on its front page: “NOW MPS WANTS £23,000 PAY RISE.”
MPs are “accsued of lining their pockets.”
Only: “They want the astonishing sum to replace their lavish second-home allowamnces of up to £22,100.”
So the politicos want to do up their homes rather than move? Given the economic climate, this seems entirely reasonable…
Posted: 3rd, April 2008 | In: Money, Politicians, Tabloids | Comment (1)
On Fat Cats And Cuts
ON the Anorak Forums: Financial services companies have reacted to the credit crunch by embarking on the biggest set of job cuts since the worst depths of the bear market, but most redundancies will be restricted to the City, according to analysis of the sector published today.
A survey of the sector by the Confederation of British Industry and accountant Pricewaterhouse Coopers found that 47 per cent of companies had seen business volumes fall sharply against only 17 per cent which had seen them rise. A similar rate of decline is expected in the next three months, and companies which are finding it increasingly difficult to access finance fear things are going to get worse.
Doesn’t your heart bleed for them? No more £150,000 to £500,000 annual bonus for shafting the customers? I sincerely hope they are offered jobs as Tony Blair’s special advisers at one of the two or three banking/finance sinecures he has picked up since leaving office as UK Premier. He deserves to have a strong team of financial wizards around him.
Or, perhaps the City Institutions which have a appointed him may now appreciate he is also not quite as valuable a Board Asset as they once thought? Fat Chance.
– AGW
Posted: 1st, April 2008 | In: Money | Comments (3)
Everyone’s For Credit Crunch At The Middle Class Dinner Table
IN an article about how out of touch Gordon Brown is, credit crunch and how the economy is not what it was, Matthew d’Ancona writes:
Suddenly, the talk at middle-class tables is less about Poppy’s cello lessons and the simply divine Tuscan villa that Hugo has found: it is about bills, the credit crunch, banks collapsing, negative equity, repossessions, standing orders, school fees. The point is not that outright calamity has struck many people yet. It is that, for the first time in more than a decade, the chatterers fear it might.
The chattering classes have stopped talking about house prices to talk about house prices. It is an astute observation, and one that the Telegraph’s readerzzzzzz can chat about at will.
For us stood on the decking with our noses pressed to the patio doors, our ears tuned into the discordant noises of Timmy playing his oboe, the pop-pop-pop of lids being toppled from jars of medicines and Anthea practising her Thai on Monica the new Filipino maid, the middle class dining room is a vision on Hell.
Of course, no-one chatters about their kids and their stuff at the dinner table, at least no–one you would want to spend any time with, let alone listen to, unless you were researching a newspaper column or searching for an imaginaivce way to torture War On Terror detainees.
What the middle classes do is much like the rest of us do: they watch the telly.
If you want to see a sure sign that the housing boom is over, you can watch the demise of one of TV’s top dozen leading property hunting shows, Location Location Location, and catch up with hosts Phil and Katie as they lead middle class home owners around the country in Repossession, Repossession Repossession.
Pass the remote control…
Posted: 30th, March 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Money | Comments (3)
