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We don’t just report off-beat news, breaking news and digest the best and worst of the news media analysis and commentary. We give an original take on what happened and why. We add lols, satire, news photos and original content.

Aliens call for marijuana legalisation: amazing crop circle appears in Wiltshire

Crop Circle of the day:

marijuana police crop circle

Posted: 10th, August 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment


Ted Heath was an aadvark shagging paedophile who never did go to the moon with Jonathan King

circa 1967:  British broadcaster, disc jockey and singer Jonathan King.  (Photo by Keystone/Getty Images)

circa 1967: British broadcaster, disc jockey and singer Jonathan King. (Photo by Keystone/Getty Images)

 

Ted Heath wasn’t a pedophile. Well, not unless former Tory MP Matthew Parris is an aadvark. He writes in the Times:

Cards on the table first. If Ted Heath was a child abuser, I’m an aardvark.

Why an aardvark? Is it because it always come first and being a former MP-turned bylined columnist is all about ‘me’? Why not lion? Or a bat?

Media coverage has been a discredit to journalism. This was never a story. No serious evidence was ever advanced.

Yet. The police are on a fishing expedition as we speak.

The police have behaved atrociously… If you grandstand in front of the former PM’s house, advertising nationally for anyone who thinks they might have been abused by Heath in the past half century (and it’s well known there can be generous compensation for victims) then it’s hardly surprising that from a population nearing 70 million, by no means all honest or sane, you get a handful of responses.

Not all 70 million were alive when Ted was. But point taken. The police news appeal looks like a broadcast by a self-serving, biased political party.

The photos published of Heath with Jimmy Savile hit a new low. There must be thousands of snapshots of people standing next to Savile. I remember shaking hands with him in his ludicrous gold lamé tracksuit near the start of a 1980s London Marathon.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 9th, August 2015 | In: Politicians, Reviews | Comment


Did Leicester City ‘race row ace’ learn about ‘Japs’ in The Sun?

Vardy Jap Leicester City

 

Who is the “England ace” in the Sun’s “race row”?

SHOCKING video plunged England footballer Jamie Vardy into a race row last night after he was seen abusing a fellow gambler, saying: “Yo Jap, walk on.”

Jap?

Leicester City striker Vardy, 28, can be heard loudly repeating the word “Jap” three times during a heated bust-up as he played a late-night game of poker at a casino.

Leicester City players have been embroiled a summer race row before. Earlier this year a trio of berks were exposed racially abusing Thai prostitutes in a homoerotic orgy.

 

leicester city japs the sun

 

 

A witness appears to tell us how bad it is:

“As an England international he should know that eyes are going to be on him when he goes out, but he acted just like a football thug. The club should investigate. I was outraged.”

 

The Sun then advises its innocent, shocked and confused readers:

The term “Jap’” short for Japanese, has been considered a derogatory racial term since World War II.

 

Who knew?

But one thing is certain, Vady has destroyed football and the entire season. Oh, he has becasue the ridiculous Kick It Out outfit says he has:

Anti-racism campaign group Kick It Out last night said Vardy’s behaviour had “cast a shadow” over the start of the football season.

 

Dr Taplin, also a Fellow of the University of Leicester, said, remidns us all that footballers are “role models to young people”.

 

 

 

 

Screen shot 2015-08-09 at 08.50.09

 

Helpfully, Sun readers see Tony Parsons as their rol mode. He tells them:

 

As a man with a Japanese wife, an Anglo-Japanese daughter and a profound love for Japan, I should be deeply offended by Jamie chucking the old “Jap” insult around. But he is clearly so poorly educated he is somewhere beneath contempt.

Certainly the 70th anniversary of nuclear bombs falling on Hiroshima and Nagasaki is not the most sensitive time to revive such archaic racist terms.

Parsons then tells what names are acceptable to level at Vardy:

But screaming “Oi, Jap!” only makes one person look like a tosser, Jamie. And it is not the gentleman you were shrieking at. The Japanese are a proud, well-educated, civilised nation – the kindest and most decent people in the world. They wouldn’t let a thicko like Jamie Vardy clean their toilets.

Maybe he can write for the Sun?

 

Posted: 9th, August 2015 | In: Key Posts, Reviews, Sports | Comment


In Tokyo you can walk through a grinning child’s massive anus (for research purposes)

japan butt

To Japan, where telly network TV Tokyo is furthing mankinds understanding or nature’s wonders why with Karada no Fushigi Daibouken 2015, or “The Mysterious Great Adventure of the Body 2015.

Kids, parents, the man who carries that BA flight bag around Brent X car park, BBC radio DJs from the 1970s and huge anus enthusiasts can become ambulatory turds:

Japan anus expo

Spotter: Kyodo News

Posted: 8th, August 2015 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment


AFC Bournemouth: ‘shoo-in’ chairman explains the club’s philosophy

Bounemouth Eddie HoweBournemouth are in the Barclays Premier League. Eddie Howe, the manager, and Maxim Demin, the Russian billionaire owner, are the club’s driving forces. But club chairman Jeff Mostyn recalls how close the club came to going out of business. He tells the Times:

 “I was doing the mirror test — stick a mirror in front of someone’s mouth and if it steams up they’re alive and a suitable buyer — but we could not find anyone. It was ludicrous. I got home that night and Rose said, ‘I know what you’ve done.’ In that room, knowing the reality that the club was about to be liquidated, I could not let it happen. So I signed the cheque.”

He outlines AFCBournemouth’s transfer poilicy:

“One man is not going to make a team, but one man can destroy it if he upsets the equilibrium in the dressing room.” 

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Posted: 8th, August 2015 | In: Reviews, Sports | Comment


Lord Janner: Howard Riddle orders the peer to attend court

Daily Mirror, 3rd December 1991

Daily Mirror, 3rd December 1991

 

Lord Greville Janner will be in court when allegations that he abused children are heard. Well, he will be if he complies with the Chief Magistrate Howard Riddle’s order issued at Westminster Magistrates’ Court. Yesterday Janner did not appear in court. He laywers said he was “unfit”.

The former Labour peer, 87, has dementia. He denies all 22 claims that he abused children in the 1960s, 1970s and 1980s.

Said Riddle – and what a great name that is:

“I further understand, and this is very significant, it is likely to have no long-term effect on him. He must appear for a comparatively short period of time. He is free to go if he becomes distressed. This will probably be achieved in less than a minute. Nevertheless the law requires his presence.”

The Times hears the medical opinions:

Andrew Smith, QC, for Lord Janner, told the court that the peer was unfit to attend and called two consultant psychiatrists to testify to the severity of his condition.

James Warner said he had no doubt about Lord Janner’s dementia and that the peer’s condition was severe and progressively deteriorating.

He added: “Lord Janner would not be able to understand what is said to him or about him. If asked a question he would not be in a position to respond meaningfully to that question.”

Dr Warner said that Lord Janner was highly likely to become distressed if brought to the courtroom and could suffer what doctors term a catastrophic reaction. However, there would be no longterm effects from any distress caused by coming to the court.

Norman Poole said he had examined Lord Janner last month and the peer had become angry and irritable at their meeting because he did not understand what was happening.

What then? The BBC explains:

Whether Lord Janner is fit to plead – to take part in a full criminal trial – will be decided by a crown court judge. He will consider the medical evidence. If he is not deemed fit he will face what is known as a trial of the facts. There will be no examination of the mental elements of the crime, no finding of guilt and no conviction.

So the point of this is what?

It is a relatively rare procedure normally used not in cases where a defendant is said to suffer from dementia, but where they pose a danger and need to be hospitalised for the safety of themselves and others. The court cannot impose a hospitalisation or  supervision order unless a jury has found the defendant performed the physical act of the crime.

Ia Janner a danger to the public at large?

However, Lord Janner can only be sent to face the fitness to plead process and trial of the facts in the crown court, if he attends the magistrates court, or his lawyers have instructions to consent on his behalf.

If they do not, the prosecution may have to make a little used application to a High Court judge for something called a voluntary bill of indictment. This has the effect of by-passing the magistrates court and delivering the defendant direct to the crown court.

Lots of ifs. And we’ve not even considerd the evidence.

Posted: 8th, August 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment


Newport customer dumped caravan in skip after checking first if it was ok

skip 2

 

Driver Tyrone Covell, 43, found a caravan in a skip in Newport, south Wales.

The skip was booked by a male customer who checked if the carvan was a prohibited item before ditching it.

 

carvan skip

 

“They asked about what they could and couldn’t put in the skip and I sent them over the list but of course we didn’t say you can’t put a caravan in there as it’s blatantly obvious you can’t put a caravan in a skip,” says Melissa Hodges, marketing manager at hire fire GD Environmental.

 

carvan skip 2

 

“I had to call the customer and tell them we couldn’t pick it up. I think they were just trying to push their luck. We told them to demolish the caravan and we’d come back and pick it up so that’s what they did. It wasn’t a really heavy caravan but I still have no idea how they got it up there.”

Rraders are invited the spot the difference between the skip blocking the road and a carvan.

Posted: 7th, August 2015 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment


Man creates great cat feeding machine that means feline must hunt for dinner (Video)

 

Ben Millam, a self-styled “aspiring geek”, has created a cat feeding machine. If Ben’s pet feline Monkey wants to eat he must hunt for RFID-tagged white plastic balls placed strategically around the home.

When Monkey finds a ball, he needs to place it into a bowl atop the machine. This triggers a release of food.

 

cat feeding machine

 

Ben explains:

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Posted: 7th, August 2015 | In: Reviews, Technology | Comment


Jo Malone does more in 25 minutes that you’d want to do in a day

Jo Malone beauty regimeHow does Jo Malone “get ready” to go out? She tells the Guardian that her regime take 25 minutes.

I multitask. I’ll make a face mask, jump into the bath with my favourite Pomelo bath cologne and, yes, I always light a candle. I like a glass of wine, too – there is a pink called Whispering Angel that comes in tiny bottles, so I can have just a glass. I’ll put some oil – either jojoba or vitamin E – on my hands and feet: nothing looks worse than dry feet if you’re wearing sandals.

Who ran the bath? How big is the bath? Is it a bird bath? Can she make a face mask faster than Zorro?

I’ll get out of the bath and my skin will be moisturised because of the mask, which I clear off with a warm face towel. I pop Vaseline round my eyebrows, then quickly dye them so they look dark – leave it on too long and you look as though you’ve two caterpillars above your eyes.

I lay out what I am going to wear. I love a chic, well-fitting black tie trouser suit with drop diamonds, my vintage gold Prada shoes and a simple black evening bag.

At this point I have a cup of tea and a baked potato or toasted ham and cheese.

Baked. Or raw?

Then I’ll pop in my gum shields with toothpaste bleach mixed with Colgate and leave for 10 minutes…. Because my hair often drops, I’ll zhush it up with my rotating brush.

I don’t wear a lot of makeup but I do wear MAC base and put on false eyelashes, blusher and lip gloss. I paint Pomelo fragrance on to my body with a brush and let it dry…

Watch painted body dry.

…then do a second layer.

Twice.

Then I’ll get dressed and spray whatever I am wearing with the same fragrance, and I am ready to go.

Next week, Jo makes a six-course meal for 10 in 15 minutes.

Posted: 7th, August 2015 | In: Celebrities, Reviews, The Consumer | Comment


Abdul Rahman Haroun for Team GB: Imigrant walks 31 miles through Channel Tunnel

Good news for Team GB and the Olympic effort: a 40-year-old Sudanese man immigrant walked the length of the 31-mile Channel tunnel. He dodged cameras and trains as he walked on gantries between Calais and Cheriton.

Abdul Rahman Haroun, for it is he, scaled four security fences and evaded private security guards.

The UK rewarded Mr Haroun’s skill by arresting him. He ischarged with causing an obstruction to an engine or carriage using the railway under the Malicious Damage Act 1861, which carries a maximum two-year prison sentence.

He appeared by videolink at Medway magistrates’ court last night and was remanded into immigration detention. He did not make a plea and was ordered to appear at Canterbury crown court on August 24.

 

Posted: 7th, August 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment


Football Balls: Daily Telegraph stirs Manchester United and Manchester City row in Ogden-Silva twitter schism

The Daily Telegraph is 160 years old. To mark the newspaper’s birthday on June 29, it thundered: “Telegraph at 160: Serious, popular and pioneering.” And now full of utter balls.

Take the erudite and routinely insightful Mark Ogden’s story on Manchester United and Manchester City. Ogden had scored an interview with City’s Spanish star David Silva. The Telegraph’s headline told readers:

“David Silva: United’s glory days are now over – they are in City’s shadow now”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 6th, August 2015 | In: Manchester City, manchester united, Reviews, Sports | Comment


Cecil the lion: rejoice the killer kitty cat is dead!

Cecil the lion is dead. Good says Zimbabwean Goodwell Nzou. He’s been studying at a US university:

When I turned on the news and discovered that the messages were about a lion killed by an American dentist, the village boy inside me instinctively cheered: One lion fewer to menace families like mine.

My excitement was doused when I realized that the lion killer was being painted as the villain. I faced the starkest cultural contradiction I’d experienced during my five years studying in the United States.

Did all those Americans signing petitions understand that lions actually kill people?

And you should see the state of Cecil’s teeeth (full of bits of dead antelope and tartar).

Posted: 6th, August 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment


Edward Heath: shaking hands with dead paedos in Savile and Jaconelli’s Scarborough

ted heath paedophile

British Conservative politician, Edward Heath (1916 – 2005) signs autographs after the ceremony for the renaming of Lympne Airport to Ashford Airport, Ashford, Kent, England, 10th June 1969. 

 

Edward Heath was a peado! Well, maybe. The Sun continues to fan the speculation that former Prime Minister Edward Heath (dead) might have had sex with a 12-year-old boy (or might not have had sex with anyone – ed) by telling its reades that “COPS are investigating links between ex-PM Ted Heath and a notorious paedo pal of Jimmy Savile dubbed King Cornet.”

Detectives are trawling through dozens of files over the connection to ex-Scarborough Mayor Peter Jaconelli.

Savile is dead. Jaconelli is dead. But the cops are very much alive to the idea of showing how the Old Bill don’t protect nonces by inviting anyone who ever knew any of the dead men to come forward if they “believe” they were molested by one or more of them.

The Sun adds:

The 21-stone ice cream boss abused 32 boys during a 40-year reign of terror. He died in 1999 aged 73 but was later exposed by cops as a serial predator with links to senior Tories.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 6th, August 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment


Edward Heath: of course the PM was a paedophile – he’s dead

1971:  British statesman and prime minister Edward Heath aboard his yacht Morning Cloud at Gosport, Hampshire, before the Admiral's Cup race.  (Photo by James Jackson/Express/Getty Images)

1971: British statesman and prime minister Edward Heath aboard his yacht Morning Cloud at Gosport, Hampshire, before the Admiral’s Cup race.

WAS former Prime Minister Edward Health a paedophile? Did he rape children? Well, he is dead (the former Tory MP died in 2005) so we can all pile in with an opinion. Who needs facts, proof or to navigate any bariers to jusice when you have the police and media so keen to give the corpse a kicking?

Wiltshire police wants you call in if you ever met ‘Ted’:

“Sir Edward Heath has been named in relation to offences concerning children. He lived in Salisbury for many years and we would like to hear from anyone who has any relevant information that may assist us in our enquiries or anyone who believes they may have been a victim.”

Believe they have been a victim? Tell the police and they will investigate the contents of your thoughts. And you will be beleived. For instance, LBC news announces that Ted is guilty:

 “Ted Heath Child Sex Victims Appeal By NSPCC”

LBC looks at the hard facts:

“Sir Edward, who was prime minister from 1970 to 1974, never married and there has been speculation about his personal life over the years.”

Never married, eh? If you want proof that man is good with kids, look at his ring finger; spot a band on it and know you’re in the presence of a trusted sort, a regular Fred West.

The BBC has a list of investigations in which Heath figures:

Operation Midland: The BBC understands Sir Edward is being looked at as part of the operation examining claims that boys were abused by a group of powerful men at locations across southern England and in London in the 1970s and 1980s. It has focused on the Dolphin Square estate in Pimlico, south-west London.

Operation Whistle: The States of Jersey Police has confirmed Sir Edward forms part of its investigation into historical allegations of abuse. It says some of the allegations relate to abuse “within institutions or by people of public prominence”.

Operation Hydrant: A nationally co-ordinated exercise to collate all allegations of historical abuse involving high profile-figures. The operation has been notified of Sir Edward being named in connection with an allegation of sexual assault in the 1960s.

Is that all – just the three big investigations?

 

British Conservative Party politician and amateur musician Edward Heath (1916 - 2005) conducting, circa 1965. (Photo by Erich Auerbach/Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

British Conservative Party politician and amateur musician Edward Heath (1916 – 2005) conducting, circa 1965. (Photo by Erich Auerbach/Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

 

 

How many police and raking over the muck? The BBC, again:

Five police forces are investigating claims of historical child sexual abuse involving former PM Sir Edward Heath. The Met, Wiltshire, Kent, Jersey and Hampshire forces are conducting separate inquiries into the late MP.

A mere five police forces are on it! Why so many? Are they all going to point the finger at each other?

Tom Watson MP: “I have referred two allegations regarding Edward Heath to the police”

Can’t Watson just show us some proof? Name and shame! Publish and be damned! Can a Watson nudge, wink and puff of the chest be enough to damn the dead?

The Sir Edward Heath Charitable Foundation, which operates the museum at Arundells, his home in Salisbury, said it welcomed the investigation.
“We wholeheartedly believe [it] will clear Sir Edward’s name and we will co-operate fully with the police in their enquiries,” a spokesman said.

Can his name ever be cleared once it is sullied by the shout of “paedo!”?

 

ted heath paedophile

British Conservative politician, Edward Heath (1916 – 2005) signs autographs after the ceremony for the renaming of Lympne Airport to Ashford Airport, Ashford, Kent, England, 10th June 1969. (Photo by Stanley Sherman/Daily Express/Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

 

The Mirror finds a finger pointer. The man was aged 12 when he claims he met Heath:

In a letter to his solicitor, in which he tells how he was picked up in car, saying: “I think it was about August 1961 when I ran away again….I decided to hitch a lift.

“I stuck my thumb out as I walked….when a car pull up and the window was lowered and the driver asked me where I was going. I told him the West End (of London) and he told me to get in the car.”

During the journey he started a conversation with a man who he later identified as Heath.

Describing the event, he says: “He was asking me why I was on my own and I told him I wanted to have time on my own and that I came to London on my own a lot and my mum wasn’t worried. He asked me if I had somewhere to stay to which I replied in the negative. He said if I wanted to I could stay at his place for the night.

“I was grateful and accepted but knew that he hadn’t asked out of generosity and that I would have to pay, probably with my body but it didn’t bother me, as I had been using my body for over five years now and it was almost second nature.”

Was it boaty muso Ted?

“I went into the living room where I had a cup of tea and a sandwich he had made. I noticed photos of yachts on the wall but one thing that intrigued me was a silver stick in an open box on a sideboard.

“I asked him what it was and he told me it was a conductor’s baton. It made him laugh when I said I had never seen a bus conductor with a baton. He explained it was an orchestra’s conductor’s baton.”

Any evidence?

The location he claims was picked up, along the A2 road in north Kent, is believed to be less than two miles away from where the Tory politician was allegedly warned by police in the 1950s to cease cruising for gay sex.

Back at the flat:

“We spent the night masturbating each other…..I don’t know what time we eventually slept”.. .He continues in the note: “I woke the next morning….I got up and got dressed and went into the living room. There was a sandwich on the table….he said he had a morning appointment and that it was time to leave….he let me out the front door and told me the way to the West End.”

He goes on to detail how in 1965, when the man was 15-years-old, he saw a picture alongside a newspaper article with Heath standing next to Margaret Thatcher.

Addressing the female Tory PM by her maiden name Roberts, he writes: “In the picture was Margaret Roberts (who became Margaret Thatcher), Edward Heath…..and a lady (somthing) (I think Smith).

“I realised at once that the man in the photo was the man who had given me the lift and had sex with me in an apartment in Park Lane…”

Did he tell?

“I learned that he was MP for Bexley. This answered a lot of questions as to why no-one believed me about the London saga. I got called a liar and a fantasist.”

 

British Prime Minister Edward Heath (1916 - 2005, centre) meets English actor and comedian Frankie Howerd (1917 - 1992) at a Variety Club of Great Britain Christmas luncheon at the Dorchester Hotel, London, 7th December 1970.  (Photo by Keystone/Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

British Prime Minister Edward Heath (1916 – 2005, centre) meets English actor and comedian Frankie Howerd (1917 – 1992) at a Variety Club of Great Britain Christmas luncheon at the Dorchester Hotel, London, 7th December 1970. (Photo by Keystone/Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

 

The Mail:

The Independent Police Complaints Commission will consider whether Wiltshire Police failed to properly investigate child sex abuse claims against Sir Edward Heath. A retired senior officer claims that a woman accused of running a brothel should have been prosecuted in the 1990s.

He claims that when the suspect alleged that Sir Edward was involved in child sex offences, and she planned to expose him, officers then dropped the case against her.
As well as investigating this allegation, the IPCC will look into whether the claims about Sir Edward were ever looked at by the Wiltshire force.

Meet the madam:

Myra Forde, 67, said on Wednesday she had no knowledge of any misconduct by Heath, and denied threatening to expose him to escape prosecution in the 1990s. A prosecution against Forde was dropped in 1992.

In a statement issued to the Salisbury Journal, Richard Griffiths, a solicitor who acted for Forde, said: “My former client wishes me to make it very clear that at no stage did she state that Ted Heath was a client and at no stage did she threaten to expose him as a client of hers if the prosecution was continued.”

He added: “For the avoidance of any doubt Myra Forde wishes me to make it clear that she had no involvement with Ted Heath of any kind and has no knowledge of any misconduct on his part.” He said the 1992 trial did not proceed because of difficulties with a witness.

Forde was later jailed twice for operating a brothel in Salisbury.

Is Forde a trusted source?

Forde, who was originally from the Philippines, trained runaway children as sex workers from her property in Salisbury, less than a mile from Heath’s house. One 13-year-old girl would go straight from school to Forde’s brothel, which she called the Oriental Massage Parlour, according to reports of her trial at Winchester crown court.

Following her release from prison, Forde was caught again in December 2009, admitted inciting prostitution, and was sentenced to five years in prison.

The Indy wonders what’s new?

Unsubstantiated – and sometimes wild – allegations against the former prime minister have circulated on the internet for years with some even claiming that Sir Edward pushed for Britain to join the European Common Market because he was being blackmailed over abuse claims.

What changed?

As we know now, historically the police failed to take this type of allegation seriously and ignored or possibly covered up child abuse claims made against prominent individuals such as Cyril Smith and Jimmy Savile.

That is no longer the case. All such historical allegations are now being forensically examined – even if the evidence is flimsy.

 

Balls. This is the police navel gazing, offering introspection in place of investigation. It’s not justice. It’s PR.

Posted: 6th, August 2015 | In: Key Posts, Politicians, Reviews | Comment


Phwoar phwoar two: Manchester United’s new kit is too sexist for football

The Daily Mail is aghast. The paper is upset that Manchester United’s new kit features a plunging neckling that could reveal a woman’s decollage. The headline shouts:

Manchester United kit maker Adidas defends ‘sexist’ plunging neckline of women’s shirt

Michael Gadd writes:

Manchester United’s new kit manufacturer Adidas has defended claims that the plunging neckline on the women’s version of the home shirt is sexist and inappropriate for football.

How inappropriate? This inapppropriate!

 

Screen shot 2015-08-05 at 21.43.06

 

Good job the Mail’s there to make things right.

Posted: 5th, August 2015 | In: manchester united, Reviews, Sports | Comment


Penis biscuits: St Patrick’s Day cookie cutter promises golden rain at the ends of the rainbow

fussy pup
The FussyPup offers you the chance to buy this St Patrick’s Day Cookie Cutter –  a “pot of gold at the end of the rainbow”.

.

Kimberly Wolfe, one of the proprietors of TheFussyPup, has it pointed out to her that the cookie cutter looks like a knob:

“One pointed out its resemblance to the male organ. We had a little giggle and dismissed the thought. While making adult theme cookie cutters isn’t our main goal, we are happy to provide cookie cutters for any occasion—and we love to see the creativity of our customers! Now if only someone would send me a picture of the results!”

 

Spotter: Fastcompany.com

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Posted: 5th, August 2015 | In: Key Posts, Reviews, The Consumer | Comment


Why Cilla Black died: a criminal act, suicide and other media speculation

Why did Cilla Black die? The 72-year-old stalwart of British entertianment was found dead at her Spanish holiday home.

The Metro says Cillas “died of natural causes”.

Was she in good health? Last December she gave an interview:

“I am falling apart. My hand is falling apart. I can’t shake hands. I had arthritis and I had an operation for it. I had it done because I was in pain. I am not in pain at the moment. But it looks a bit deformed on the wrist. That has been fixed but it is going to take some time to heal. I fell in the park earlier this year as well and hurt my hand…

“You see on Britain’s Got Talent and The X Factor they all wear ear plugs. But I could not hear myself when I wore them. So that is where the strong voice came from. Now I am totally deaf because of the Cavern days.”

The Telegraph adds drama:

Cilla Black’s son found star’s body after smashing his way into her bedroom

Cilla Black’s doting son Bobby discovered the star’s body after smashing his way into her bedroom when she failed to rise from an afternoon siesta.

We hear from a “source close to the inquiry”:

“Cilla’s son found her lying face upwards in a solarium-style sun terrace next to her bedroom. There’s no conclusive autopsy results yet but the main theory right now is that she had a dizzy turn after going from an air-conditioned room into the midday heat and losing her balance.

“The marks she’s got are consistent with a fall where she’s put up an arm as a defence mechanism.

“What’s need to be determined now is why she fell and whether it was indeed to do with the sudden change in temperature and the effect that had on her – which seems the most likely scenario at the moment – or whether something else triggered the collapse.

“Midday temperatures on Saturday in the area were in the high eighties and we know Cilla wasn’t in the best of health.

“More tests may be necessary after the autopsy to get to the bottom of whats really happened.  There’s no evidence to link Cilla’s death to any criminal act but police and courts generally like to keep an open mind on things.

That speculation from a trusty source who cannot be named becomes fact in the Standard:

Cilla Black died after fall from dizzy turn in searing Costa del Sol heat

Investigation source: “main theory right now is that she had a dizzy turn after going from an air-conditioned room into the midday heat and losing her balance.”

Adding:

…sources close to the investigation said this yesterday morning medical examiners will look closely at marks on her right arm and elbow which they believe may be linked to a fall potentially caused by a sudden temperature change.

We are then told:

Cilla, born Priscilla Maria Veronica White in 1943 in Liverpool, told last year how she would like to die at 75 before she became too frail to enjoy life.

She said: “Seventy-five is a good age to go. I know it’s only four years away but I take each day as I find it.”

No exactly a suicide case, then. Indeed, Cilla said in 2014:

“I agree with Dignitas, but I couldn’t be the one to administer the poison that kills me. I know I couldn’t commit suicide. I’m too much of a coward, I couldn’t do it. I’d rather somebody make that decision for me.”

But the Daily Star still finds it fire to thunder: “CILLA’S SECRET DEATH WISH”:

 

cilla death wish

 

All true – apart from the bits about a secret and a death wish.

 

Posted: 3rd, August 2015 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Reviews | Comment


Huge feckless woman ‘addicted to Red Bull’ wants gastric band op before she goes blind

Are you addicted to Red Bull, the drink that, as the advert says, ‘Gives You Wings? “Huge Lena Lupari“, 26, “guzzles 28 cans of the energy drink a day”.

Huge Lena says:

“I’m hooked on Red Bull, it’s like a Class A drug. But recently I started getting migraines and then black spots in my vision. My gran had the same symptoms and within two years she was dead. I’m trying to cut down but I’ve tried before and I always relapse. I can’t let it go.”

Did gran scarf loads Red Bull?

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Posted: 3rd, August 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment


Dad took children out of school to ‘lay tarmac’ in Corfu

In “dad’s gypsy ruse” the Sun tells of Michael Baker, who told the school his children were gypsies to avoid a fine for taking them out of school during term time.

Baker, 34, used a “loophole” allowing traveller kids to miss school for “occupational reasons”.

He told school chiefs he drove around the country laying tarmac.

They then granted permission for his two sons, aged seven and 11, to miss a week of classes at Cheveley primary in Cambs.

The paper days that “jobless Michael” actually took the family to Corfu, where it’s not thought he laid any tarmac.

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Posted: 3rd, August 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment


Katie Hopkins’ death appears in the TV schedules

katie-hopkins-dead

 

Katie Hopkins is having an operation on her brain. The Sun’s vile-to-deadline columnist gives the newspaper an “exclusive” in much the same way a baby gives their parent an exclusive look at their filled nappy. But let’s not knock Katie because this is serious.

I’m having a brain op… I could die

EXCLUSIVE: Katie Hopkins reveals she’s ‘full of fear’ over epilepsy surgery

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Posted: 1st, August 2015 | In: Celebrities, Reviews, TV & Radio | Comment


Joey Barton remade in Kew: reared in Liverpool on the oxygen of violence

joey barton philosopher twitterJoey Barton has been talking with the Times’ Matthew Syed. Billed “the baddest man in British football”, Barton is now “hardman turned philosopher”, living in London’s leafy Kew with a young family and burning desire to be a better man.

Syed journeys to Barton’s childhood home in Huyton, a few miles from the centre of Liverpool, “where violence was as much a part of his upbringing as oxygen.”

Barton, who at junior level wore the colours of Everton and Liverpool, and played professionally for Manchester City, Newcastle, Marseilles and QPR, is happy to talk.

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Posted: 1st, August 2015 | In: Reviews, Sports | Comment


Yishai Schlissel photos: Orthodox Jew who knifed gays strikes again after prison release

JERUSALEM, ISRAEL - JULY 30:  Israelis wearing Jewish Skull Caps participate in the Gay Pride Parade on July 30, 2015 in Jerusalem, Israel. At least six people were stabbed at Jerusalem's annual Gay Pride Parade on Thursday. The assailant, an ultra-Orthodox Jew, emerged behind the marchers and began stabbing them while screaming. A police officer then managed to tackle him to the ground and arrest him.  (Photo by Lior Mizrahi/Getty Images)

JERUSALEM, ISRAEL – JULY 30: Israelis wearing Jewish Skull Caps participate in the Gay Pride Parade on July 30, 2015 in Jerusalem, Israel. At least six people were stabbed at Jerusalem’s annual Gay Pride Parade on Thursday. The assailant, an ultra-Orthodox Jew, emerged behind the marchers and began stabbing them while screaming. A police officer then managed to tackle him to the ground and arrest him. (Photo by Lior Mizrahi/Getty Images)

 

Yishai Schlissel was released from prison three weeks ago after serving 10 years for stabbing marchers at a gay rights parade in 2005. Today he knifed six revellers on a Jerusalem gay rights march.

 

JERUSALEM, ISRAEL - JULY 30:  A wounded Israeli person receives treatment during the gay parade on July 30, 2015 in Jerusalem, Israel. At least six people were stabbed at Jerusalem's annual Gay Pride Parade on Thursday. The assailant, an ultra-Orthodox Jew, emerged behind the marchers and began stabbing them while screaming. A police officer then managed to tackle him to the ground and arrest him.  (Photo by Lior Mizrahi/Getty Images)

JERUSALEM, ISRAEL – JULY 30: A wounded Israeli person receives treatment during the gay parade on July 30, 2015 in Jerusalem, Israel. At least six people were stabbed at Jerusalem’s annual Gay Pride Parade on Thursday. The assailant, an ultra-Orthodox Jew, emerged behind the marchers and began stabbing them while screaming. A police officer then managed to tackle him to the ground and arrest him. (Photo by Lior Mizrahi/Getty Images)

482382228JERUSALEM, ISRAEL - JULY 30:  An Israeli cries after a stabbing during the Gay Pride Parade on July 30, 2015 in Jerusalem, Israel. At least six people were stabbed at Jerusalem's annual Gay Pride Parade on Thursday. The assailant, an ultra-Orthodox Jew, emerged behind the marchers and began stabbing them while screaming. A police officer then managed to tackle him to the ground and arrest him.  (Photo by Lior Mizrahi/Getty Images)

JERUSALEM, ISRAEL - JULY 30:  Israelis participate in the Gay Pride Parade on July 30, 2015 in Jerusalem, Israel. At least six people were stabbed at Jerusalem's annual Gay Pride Parade on Thursday. The assailant, an ultra-Orthodox Jew, emerged behind the marchers and began stabbing them while screaming. A police officer then managed to tackle him to the ground and arrest him.  (Photo by Lior Mizrahi/Getty Images)

Posted: 31st, July 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)